ISOLATION PART V—THE BEAUTY EDITION!

If the recent Global Citizen concert taught us anything, it’s that…no female celebs can do their own nails!!! I actually loved seeing people like Jennifer Lopez with just regular little bare nails, but they were also a shock.

So, since most of us will be in our homes for at least two more weeks, (and who knows how long after that,) I figure I need to pitch-in for the greater good and teach you all to do your own manis! (I’ve been doing my own nails since I was twelve!) Here’s the link to my latest YouTube video on the subject: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_y6A4bxFfA.

Karen Salkin’s self-polished Easter nails from 2018. Photo by Mr. X, as is the one of Karen (and her nails, also self-done,) at the top of this page.

And now, here are a few more of my thoughts on the beauty and vanity situations, both of which I’ve pretty much given up for the past six weeks!

I can tell you right now that people are soooo going to regret their make-up-free selfies and videos when this is over! They’re doing those only because the isolation is getting to them. And they obviously think they look cute that way, or they would not share them to begin with. They’re probably relieved that they have an excuse to show that they look good enough without make-up because you’re never allowed to do that in Hollywood, unless you’re a comedienne. Or trying to win an Oscar!!!

People, including Mr. X, keep asking me to do little daily videos during this siege, to cheer them up, but there’s no way I’m applying make-up on a daily basis when there’s no real need for it! And I’m definitely not going on any camera, (not even Skype, Zoom, or FaceTime on my phone!,) without make-up! The only slightly good thing during this horrific situation is that I get to take this uber-long break from all of that! Even though I’ve been cosmetics-obsessed since I was a young teen, (and now own more products than Sephora!,) I’m actually not a fan of putting it all on. And I’m sure my face is a bit relieved for the time to refresh, as well. So I apologize to the people who want to see daily vids from me, but I have done several in quarantine, so keep an eye-out for those. (Today’s is the third one published, with two more in the weeks to come.)

Pierce Brosnan before the isolation…

…and Pierce Brosnan now!

Getting back to the celebs, they just need to stop over-sharing their lives. No one wanted to see Pierce Brosnan looking like he does now! His white-haired old man appearance jarred me to my core.

And no one wants to see each other’s white or gray hair roots, either! I think famous people are just trying to show the regular folk that they are not alone. But I’m begging each overexposed person in the public eye–keep it to yourself. I don’t need to know how long your mustaches have grown, either—and I’m talking to the ladies!

Eva Longoria’s white roots! Ugh.

But it’s not just the celebrities who are nescient about basic beauty how-tos. How does no one know how to do their own nails? Or color their hair??? I’ve even done my own pedis forever! (I was billed as a “World Famous Contortionist” when I was in the circus, so maybe that’s why I can still contort to do my toes. That demonstration may or may not be in my new YouTube video, at this link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_y6A4bxFfA.)

Yes, I have gotten professional pedicures on occasion, but when one “tech” cut out a chunk of my heel, by accident, (and then still charged me on top of it,) I was done. And why risk the infections, anyway, even when they’re done correctly? If you get pedis because you’re elderly and can’t reach your own toes, just go to a podiatrist instead, and get your toenails trimmed. You don’t need polished toes when no one but you is seeing them!!!

Karen’s simple “Tribute to the Mets” self-polished nails, back when sports could be played! Photo by Mr. X.

And at all times, even home alone, dirty nails, and unkempt cuticles, just show that you’re disgusting! So take care of them. And apply cream or lotion to your hands themselves, especially now that we’re all washing our hands at least once an hour these days. (At least I am; I hope you all are, too!)

I go through all of that, step-by-step, in my new YouTube video, Isolation Manicures. I even explain gel manicures on there, too. (At least I think I do—I went through so much information on there that I don’t remember every single detail of it.)

Some very common manicure tools, which Karen explains in her latest YouTube video. Photo by Karen Salkin.

If this isolation situation goes on much longer, (which I feel it really should,) maybe I’ll also teach you guys how to do pedicures for yourselves. And then make-up, as well. And if it goes into June, I just may have to break-out the coup de grace—how to Tom Sawyer talk your significant other into coloring/flat-ironing your hair for you! Trust me—I’ve been doing it for years!

But, for now, just learn my at-home manicure techniques. After all, what else do you have to do in isolation that would be more fun? That link again is www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_y6A4bxFfA. And please let me know how it works-out for you.

Happy Hands-ing!