MY CRAZY RULES OF FOOD AND BEVERAGE CONSUMING

 

Even after one hundred years with Mr. X, he still can’t keep my crazy rules for eating and drinking straight. They all seem so self-evident me to me, but I guess not to everyone else.

So, here are some of my basic ones. See if you share any with me, or apprise us of some of your own in the Comments section below.

Milk must be drunk out of glass glasses.

Water and soda must be from plastic glasses. (Like Tupperware plastic, not throw-away ones.)

Water must be super-cold from the refrigerator, unless it’s to just swallow one pill; then it can be room temp.

Hot foods must be really hot! (Temperature-wise.)

Soup and cereal must be eaten with big soup spoons; oatmeal and ice cream with normal size ones.

All plastic utensils must be thick, reusable plastic, not like for a picnic.

Soda must have ice in it and be drunk with a straw.

All beverage ice must be cubed, not crushed.

(Okay, even I think I sound kind-of nuts now!)

Cereal must be in a big bowl; oatmeal and pasta must be in a small, flat bowl.

All salads must be served in a giant flat bowl, and really chopped-up.

All peanut butter sandwiches must be on bread that’s either toasted or at least hot.

All tea must contain honey.

All scones must be served with real clotted cream.

All sweet treats must be accompanied by ice cold milk.

Hot chocolate must be accompanied by something that’s not chocolate, like cinnamon toast or a toasted bagel.

Which reminds me, all bagels must be toasted!!!

Hot dogs must have ketchup and onions on them, preferably with the bun toasted.

Okay, that’s it…for now. Is anybody out there as crazy as I in this area? I hope not, for everybody’s sake.