SUPER BOWL LIX 2025

Yay!!! The Eagles won! And even better—the Chiefs lost. As I said—yay!

This was so my exact kind of game. Not only did my team win, but the team I detest was humiliated!

I was praying soooo hard for the Eagles, for many reasons: 1) They deserve it. 2) I hate the Trump-loving Chiefs. 3) I love Saquon Barkley and Jalen Hurts.  I’m so happy for those guys.  4) With the recent plane crash, and death of a fan in celebration, Philly needs some happiness. 5) For some unknown reason, my friends in Rhode Island and South Carolina adore this team.

I’m sorry that I didn’t think to tell you in advance that I might live-tweet about some of the proceedings. Despite that lack, one of my tweets, about Tom Brady, has over four and a half thousand views! That’s more than how many followers I have on that platform!!! There are only a few tweets up there, (because I got too behind for them to be “live” anymore,) but if you’re curious to still see them, I’m @MajorCelebrity.

 

GAME

I truly believe that I helped the Eagles win because Mr. X and I ate an expensive frozen pizza, (that we had never even seen before,) that came in a green and white box! I’m not kidding about how many superstitious things I do. In all situations!!!

It was the most unexciting game, with little tension, but that’s what I love. Only when my team is winning, of course.

By the way—contrary to what some of my friends thought, the Eagles are not my basic team. They’re one of the teams I really like, but this season I was rooting for the Buffalo Bills or Detroit Lions to go all the way. As I do with basketball, I choose my football team each year based on their personnel. (With baseball, I’m a diehard fan of the Yankees and Mets.)

PRE-KICK SHOW

What was up with the on-camera females’ shoulder pads? I actually wore some recently, thinking I’d get the ‘90s trend started again, but I didn’t think it would catch on as it apparently has. So, good for me!

I’m always so happy when they show all the Walter Payton Man of the Year nominees, one from each team. Just seeing them in person makes me cry. For me, and I’m sure for all caring people, it’s the most important award of each season because it’s given to the most kind players. (But I hate to say it, the winner, Arik Armstead of the Jacksonville Jaguars, who spoke so well otherwise, said that he’s so “gracious” instead of “grateful,” a very bad mistake that I’ve heard several others make from time to time. I’m only pointing it out so that if you do that, too, you’ll know to fix it now.)

It’s good they began that part of the all-day coverage with a tribute to the victims of the January 1 shooting in New Orleans. And they included the victims of our LA fires and all the other tragedies that have already shamefully happened in this young year. There have been so many sad things that have happened in this country in the past six or seven weeks since 2025 began, that I actually forgot about the New Orleans one until they mentioned it on the Super Bowl! It’s all waaay too sad.

HALFTIME SHOW

I ran hip-hop clubs for a few years, and Mr. X is a krump dancer, so we’re obviously not against Kendrick Lamar’s music. But it was a very odd choice for the Super Bowl Halftime Show. It’s too niche. I would venture a guess that less than half the audience members were interested in it. So at least they sold more concessions during halftime than usual.

And yes, now I understand that his entire performance was supposed to be some sort of message, and not just about his beef with Drake. But the Super Bowl Halftime Show is supposed to be about fabulous entertainment and not messages. On-line trolls need to stop telling everyone they didn’t “understand” it; the musical show is not meant to be “understood,” (except maybe the lyrics, which is this case, I needed the subtitles for,) and no one is wrong for not doing so. so enough already.

And SZA, who Mr. X said “can really sing!,” is not a big enough guest, as have been in previous years. (As Alicia Keys was for Usher last year, and Bruno Mars and Beyonce were for Coldplay in 2016.)

And they didn’t even have the usual big elevated stage.

I hate to say it, but even Mr. X said, “Make it stop!” I actually could have done that because we were very behind at that point, but I always want to be fair, and watch the whole thing before I pass final judgement.

So I feel that by the end, aided by excellent dancers, Lamar was actually holding his own. Mr. X agreed, but pointed-out “he doesn’t have a broad appeal.”

He was actually the anti-very first halftime performer. Do you know who it was?  You will never guess. Ready? Carol Channing!!! We know which one Orange Hitler would prefer to see, because she was only half black! (I’ve been refraining from mentioning him, but I couldn’t help myself on this one.)

OTHER MUSIC

Lift Every Voice and Sing is a good enough song, (and it’s a one-hundred-year-old hymn,) but I guess it is sort-of rude/weird/off-putting to have a “black national anthem” sung at the Super Bowl, which is supposed to be for all people. The producers must have been a tad embarrassed about it because they tried to explain it. And Ledisi usually sings better than she did there, except for her fabulous last note. The ASL signer was actually the best aspect of the number, but they didn’t even show him for more than a second!

Lady Gaga’s musical tribute to the victims of the January 1st NoLo attack, and other horrors, was very good and moving. But someone, please—send the woman an eyebrow pencil!!! Her crazy recent look, combined with her discolored teeth, are distracting every time she takes to the airwaves.

But they brought the room back up with a really fun Mardi Gras-esque music performance headlined with a jubilant native New Orleans son, Harry Connick, Jr.

I love Jon Batiste’s music, but he’s far from a great singer. I think Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid’s face said it all during Jon’s National Anthem, which I actually wound-up liking. A little bit. (Mr. X said it’s like one of my musical bits, which are all comical, I promise you—I can’t sing!)

COMMERCIALS

There didn’t seem to be the usual really important commercials of past years. And there were zero special ads for the entire first quarter.

And then, finally, a really fun one! And it’s local—it was for The Law Brothers. It actually cracked me up. A few times!

The one with Seal as a—what else—seal, was downright creepy! They must have given him a fortune to prostitute himself like that!!!

The Stand Up to Hate one with Tom Brady and Snoop Dogg was good. It says it all.

I loved the emotional Rocket Take Me Home one; when it was over and they cut to the Super Bowl crowd, the whole place was singing that song!!!

The one for HexClad pans with Pete Davidson and Gordon Ramsey was funny.

I loved the Ram trucks one with Glen Powell as Goldilocks was very clever.

What a stupid campaign from Nike, saying dumb sentences along the lines of “You can’t win, so win.” Ugh.

I loved the on.com one with Elmo and Roger Federer because…Roger. It’s charming. (But even my 147IQ did not get that the logo says “on,” until the very end.)

Only because I adore colors soooo much, (I actually have a room in my tiny house called “The Crayon Room,”) I liked the sort-of stupid one for Nerd candy with Mr. X’s favorite new music artist, Shaboozey.

The Lay’s one with a little girl growing just one potato, with the lyrics of the music saying, “If you were a kiss I know I’d want to be a hug,” was so lovely it made me cry.

Kanye West paid for an ad for himself, as opposed to being paid to do a real commercial. That was soooo many millions for him to spend! What an idiot. (Duh—we already knew that about him.) (And we found-out the next day it was for him to sell tee-shirts with swastikas on them! He needs to be arrested. He can share a cell with Diddy.)

It’s offensive that Jeep used the concepts of being “free” people and heroes such as servicemen, to sell their Wranglers.

They saved the best for (almost) last. David Beckham and Matt Damon as long-lost twins was just about brilliant.

POST-GAME

They did the Trophy Ceremony all wrong! First of all, interviewer Terry Bradshaw showed up late to do the hosting honors, and then he not only didn’t hand Jalen Hurts his MVP trophy, but he barely even talked to him!!! And then he didn’t chat with any of the other players at all! I would have loved to hear what birthday boys, star Saquon Barkley and rookie Cooper DeJean, (who caught an interception and returned it for a touchdown!,) had to say!

FINAL THOUGHTS

~ It rattled me that Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Tony Brady all looked weird. The first two looked old and puffy, especially Cruise, and Tom Brady looked crazily gaunt and Ozempic-faced. In his case, the quick change in his look in just two weeks could be due to him being miserable because his ex-wife, Gisele, just had had a baby with her new-ish beau, her Jiu-Jitsu instructor with whom she already worked when she was married to Tom. Seriously, stress can do that to a person. I lost sixteen pounds in the first week that I was seeing Mr. X!!!

~ Mr. X saw a sideline reporter and had no idea that’s the woman he was seeing was Erin Andrews because she looked sooo awful! She was never good-looking to begin with, but now she looks old and haggard and puffy, as well.

~ I’ve been less than thrilled that Tom Brady replaced my favorite NFL color commentator, Greg Olsen, who got demoted to Fox’s second team. And all season, I’ve constantly read how bad “everyone” thinks Tom is at his new gig. I’ve listened to him a few times myself, and didn’t notice anything either yay or nay about his commentary.  But I heard every word he said this time, and not only is Tom totally fine at it, but the fact that he has so much to add through the lens of his truly amazing career made it extra-interesting.

~ We were amused that, at one point when the camera showed famous people in the crowd, and one was short Kevin Hart, Tom asked, “Kevin Hart’s here? How do the cameras find Kevin Hart?” So his play-by-play partner, Kevin Burkhardt, chimed in with the apt, “It’s the Roast Revenge Tour for Tom Brady.”

~ I did not know that long-time Eagles quarterback, (and Prince Harry doppelgänger,) Carson Wentz, was a back-up for the Chiefs this season! Who knew?! He’s played so long that I thought he was around fifty already. (He actually just turned only fifty-two.)

~ Near the end, I finally let myself have the victory, and started crying as I said, “I can’t believe they won!” And Mr. X said, “Won?! They massacred them!” Yay!

~ Saquon Barkley wound-up his first season as an Eagle with the most yards rushing, in the season and playoffs combined, in NFL history! You go, boy!

~ One of the absolute best parts of the entire shebang is that they showed Taylor Swift and Orange Hitler only once each!!! And never mentioned them at all. Hitler probably left because his team was losing so badly.

~ This is as good a place as any to share my thoughts on the relationship of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. I had refrained from mentioning them in this article, (or in any, actually,) because she has nothing to do with the Super Bowl whatsoever, and he apparently had nothing to do with it either, based on his dreadful performance. But I’ve revealed my theory to several people, so I figured let’s get it over with here instead of giving it its own full column. Here goes:

I really think that Travis is using Taylor to get fame. He’s been chasing it for years.  He’s made no secret that he wants to act, and in late 2016, he even had a stupid Bachelor-esque reality show to find a girlfriend from fifty contestants. I always imagine that after that, he and his bro were sitting around trying to think of ways for him to get famous, (outside of football,) and they said, “Who’s the most famous single girl I can date, to get publicity because of it?” So he set his sights on always-desperate-for-love Taylor. It’s not like they met naturally—he literally went after her. And it has worked-out beautifully for him; his podcast is now really successful because of it, he’s gotten acting jobs, and he hosts some game show. He’s probably going to retire from football now, and his show biz career is all set up. But—now he’s stuck; if he ever breaks up with her, her legions of fans will make his life hell!!! So now he and his bro have to figure-out a way to make her break up with him! Mark my words.