FOOTBALL/TELEVISION: SUPER BOWL LVII 2023

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SUPER BOWL LVII 2023

I usually write about each year’s Super Bowl the day after. But this year, Valentine’s Day, (along with Galentine’s Day,) got in the way. So here I am now.

To begin with, I put both the Super Bowl number and the year in the title to make it easier for readers down the line. I hate when they show a clip from a previous game with just the number—few of us can figure out the year from that. Just tell us what year it was, please, and we’re good.

Look how even the seasons of the two Super Bowl teams were before the game! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Look how even the seasons of the two Super Bowl teams were before the game! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

I was conflicted about this game going in—there were reasons to root for both teams. I would usually root for the Kansas City Chiefs, because I’m awed by Patrick Mahomes, who has been powering on despite his painful ankle injury, which got hurt again during the Super Bowl. If I even break a nail, I’m down for the count.

But I rooted for the Philadelphia Eagles to win the 2018 edition, which they did. So I like them, too. And I admire their also-injured quarterback, Jalen Hurts, who’s been playing with a throwing-shoulder injury for weeks. And I think I like the older Kelce brother, Jason, a bit more than younger one. (I’ll explain in a minute.)

So for whom to root was a major conundrum for me. On a personal side note to all of this, I had polished my nails a sparkly red early last week, for Valentine’s month, but I then re-did them green on Thursday for an Ireland luncheon! So they were still green on Sunday, which confused my football team choice even further for me.

So let’s get to discussing it all. I’m not going in chronological order this time, but rather in order of interest: game, music, pre-game festivities, ads, (which were basically much ado about nothing) and trophy presentation. The game turned-out to be so dramatic that I’m compelled to begin with it.

THE GAME

Donna Kelce, the mother of the Jason and Travis, rocking her divded jacket. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Donna Kelce, the mother of the Jason and Travis, rocking her divded jacket. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

This was the “Super Bowl of firsts!” For the first time in history, two brothers, (close ones, at that,) faced each other. How hard was that for Jason (of the Eagles) and Travis Kelce (of the Chiefs) and their fam?)

And it was also the first time both quarterbacks, the Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes and the Eagles’ Jalen Hurts, were black! And during Black History Month!

The first half score started-out so close, and then, somehow, the Eagles ended it ten points up. And Mahomes was gimpy again. So I really thought it was all over for the Chiefs at halftime.

And then in the second half, the Chiefs tied it up! And it all came down to one crazy ending. I had never before seen a team avoid getting a go-ahead touchdown…on purpose! That was brilliant strategizing. But it was still a risk. They were counting on using-up the clock so the Eagles wouldn’t have time to score, and winning it themselves with just a field goal. Which is exactly what they did. But their field goal kicker had missed one earlier, so that’s why how it would end was a mystery until the clock actually did run out.

ALL THE MUSIC (IN ORDER)

Jason Derulo gave a great pre-show performance, at what’s billed as the “Tailgate Party,” especially considering that he was still on crutches (from a bad foot injury) just a few days before! I know that others are upset that he used robotic dogs as dancers, but, although the visual was a tad creepy, I thought they were kind-of interesting.

Jason Derulo, with his human and robot dancers. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Jason Derulo, with his human and robot dancers. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Sheryl Lee Ralph’s performance was awful!  I could not figure-out what the heck that song was, and later I learned that it’s considered to be the “Black National Anthem.” You know I’m a total Democrat, but I really think there should be just one National Anthem, since we’re one nation. But I’m okay with this new one being sung, if everyone else is. The thing is—that rendition sounded horrible at the Super Bowl; that’s all I’m saying.

Sheryl Lee Ralph giving it her all. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Sheryl Lee Ralph giving it her all. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Then Babyface sang America the Beautiful.  I thought he was a producer, not a singer. Well, he proved me right. It was kind-of sweet, but not even close to good enough for the Super Bowl!

Chris Stapleton‘s National Anthem was great, as he always is. You all know I’m not a big fan of country music, per se, but he’s one performer whose work I totally appreciate. (And I was very pleased that he, and his celeb signer, Oscar winner Tony Kotsur, knew enough to not don their signature chapeaus!)

Rihanna and her pregnant stomach! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Rihanna and her pregnant stomach! Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

That was excellent halftime music. It was an incredible-but-simple presentation, with great dancers performing fabulous choreography. And Rihanna sang her usual good songs. She didn’t need any guests.

But…I couldn’t take my eyes off her prodding stomach the whole time! I kept going back to check it out from every angle! I had to convince Mr. X of her pregnancy, too, because I couldn’t imagine she’d just let her belly hang out like that if she were not. Then shortly after I had tweeted, (@MajorCelebrity,) “Is Rihanna pregnant again?,” her performance ended and she announced that she is! So…go, me! (I knew she either had to be preggers or had just eaten like I do!)

And, for a bit of Super Bowl Trivia—who was the very first halftime celebrity musical performer? (Answer will be somewhere below. Or guess for yourselves in the Comments at the bottom of this article.)

PRE-GAME FESTIVITIES

How did Michael Vick get a job on the team of pre-game broadcasters? I was in shock! (Still am.) Did everyone forget about his extreme dog abuse??? I, for one, cannot forgive him for it. Are there no other retired players who could be on this already over-crowded panel???

Travis Kelce (in the shades) trying to horn in on Coach Andy Reid's pre-game interview. Andy did not even flinch.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Travis Kelce (in the shades) trying to horn in on Coach Andy Reid’s pre-game interview. Andy did not even flinch. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Coach Andy Reid was doing a classy interview, while his Chiefs team was walking behind him into the locker room, and the only one to stop and intrude was Travis Kelce. That was so rude. I had liked Travis for years, but then, when they won the game to get them into the Super Bowl a couple of weeks ago, during the trophy presentation, Travis had only rude things to say to the city and Mayor of Cincinnati, whom they had just defeated, so I was done with him. And now I like his older brother, Jason, (who plays for the Eagles,) better, so that became one of my conflicts about for whom to root.

I love, love, love color commentator Greg Olsen. I feel so bad that he’s due to lose his job on Fox in 2025 when Tom Brady replaces him. (But I have a feeling they’ll find something else for him—he’s honest, knowledgeable, has an easy-to-listen-to young voice, and is young and attractive!)

Damar Hamlin and his health heroes.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Damar Hamlin and his health heroes. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

It was a fun surprise to see Damar Hamlin in an on-field presentation, in a tribute to the trainers, first responders, and hospital personnel who saved his life. I loved that!

And right after that, they introduced the Dallas Cowboy’s Dak Prescott, who had just won the most important award in football, the Walton Payton Man of the Year Award. And the crowd was so rude that they booed him!!! Because he’s a Cowboy. I hate the Cowboys, too, but that was downright disgusting. This player was being celebrated for being the kindest person in the sport, and those idiots booed him because of the team he plays for! Shame on them.

Carissa Thompson and her anorexic arms.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Carissa Thompson and her anorexic arms. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

This is only the second time I’ve ever seen the female member of the team, Carissa Thompson. Last time, I was shocked by how awful her wardrobe is, and this time, I was nauseated by her anorexic arms. Put some sleeves on, woman!

One of the best moments of the day--Eagles Head Coach Nick Sirianni positively weeping during the National Anthem.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

One of the best moments of the day–Eagles Head Coach Nick Sirianni positively weeping during the National Anthem. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni was literally sobbing during the National Anthem! Tears were dripping down his face. It was very interesting to witness.

As the game got closer, they started calling the pre-game show the “pre-kick show,” which was totally unnecessary.

COMMERCIALS (IN THE ORDER THEY WERE SHOWN)

None of these new ads, (which we watched all of!,) seemed Super Bowl-special. They were mainly a great big disappointment. But oh well—the game was the main attraction this time.

Serena Williams' plastic surgeried face.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Serena Williams’ plastic surgeried face. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

I was happy to see A-Rod in the Pizza Hut ad with Von Miller. And yes, even I’m surprised that I’m still a fan of his.

I’m not a Ben Affleck fan, (I hate smokers and I’m still team A-Rod,) but his Dunkin’ Donuts ad is great, especially JLo, whose delivery is perfect in it.

As to Serena Williams‘ Remy Martin ad, bedsides that it was hard to follow, and I had no idea what it was supposed to be about, her facial plastic surgery is just a scooch away from her looking like Madonna!

Why would Bradley Cooper look like he did for his commercial? His hair is filthy!

Alicia Silverstone is basically weird these days, (with her chewing food which she then puts into her son’s mouth—ewwwww,) but she looked great in that Rakuten ad. And she did great, too.

Bradley Cooper and his filthy, oddly-styled hair.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Bradley Cooper and his filthy, oddly-styled hair. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Some of the ads with celebs, such as Will Ferrell, were all trying way too hard.

The Jennifer Coolidge Elf cosmetics ad was ridiculous! They made the product look awful!!! Who would okay this terrible concept? They’re declaring their own make-up primer to be super-sticky!!! Who wants to put something sticky on their face?! Especially before make-up.

Kia’s “Pinky” commercial was the first really good one. And it wasn’t on until almost the end of the third quarter.

I really enjoyed the Planter’s “roast” of Mr. Peanut. Very clever idea. I had used the goober in a campaign of mine, as well, back in the day, whihc proves that great minds really do think alike. When I was running for Sophomore Class President in high school, one of the major posters my team, (i.e. my family,) made was a picture of Mr. Peanut alongside “his” statement, “I’m nuts for Karen for Sophomore Class President!” How did I come up with that idea, you may ask? Because he was just about the only thing I could draw at the time!!! And I guess it worked because…I won!

My favorite, though, was the Workday ad with real rock stars telling people to not call other people “rock stars” who are, in actuality, not. Mr. X and I have been saying that for years. (We feel the same every time Howie Mandel idiotically tells a contestant on America’s Got Talent that they’re a “superstar!”)

TROPHY PRESENTATION

Why were only four Chiefs players on the “stage” for the trophy ceremony??? They weren’t even on the field for it! But the owner’s full-of-herself trampy daughter got to be front and center!!! How rude of the event organizers to plan it that way! The stand was built waaaay too small, to not accommodate many players. This was the happiest time of their careers, and they did not get to be up there celebrating. That was patently unfair! Perhaps they were back in the locker room celebrating already, but it’s still awful for them. And for their families and fans, who would have loved to witness their loved ones’ jubilation!

The trophy presentation, with the Chiefs' owner's creepy daughter butting in right next to the NFL Commissioner, (in the center, holding the trophy,) while the winning coach is relegated to being all the way on the end! (He's the one in red.)  And only those few players you see on the platform! Grrr.  Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

The trophy presentation, with the Chiefs’ owner’s creepy daughter butting in right next to the NFL Commissioner, (in the center, holding the trophy,) while the winning coach is relegated to being all the way on the end! (He’s the one in red.) And only those few players you see on the platform! Grrr. Photo by Karen Salkin (from the TV screen.)

Fox cannot allow Terry Bradshaw to do any more interviews after his supreme, yet inadvertent, rudeness to Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid!!! First of all, he told the old and very hefty man, “Waddle over here.” And then he said to him, the man who had just won the Super Bowl,  “I know that you’re getting up in years now like me. I just know that there’s gotta be a time that with all these Super Bowls, you’ve got to say to yourself, ‘Time to ride off to the sunset.’ That’s not going to happen, is it?”  How rude!!! Like with Michael Vick, they have no one who could fill that gig? So, shame on Fox for that peccadillo, as well.

AND LASTLY…

Here’s the answer to that Super Bowl Trivia question, which was: who was the very first halftime celebrity musical performer? Ready? You’re not going to believe it, but it was none other than…Carol Channing!!! Give yourself a platinum star if you got it right!

It happened at Super Bowl IV (the first one with a celebrity performer—it had been marching bands for the previous three years,) in 1970, at Tulane Stadium in New Orleans. And she did it again two years later! It wasn’t until the ’90s that the celebs started rolling in year after year!

Now go amaze your friends with this (what I assume is) new knowledge.

Carol Channing performing at halftime of  Super Bowl IV.

Carol Channing performing at halftime of Super Bowl IV.

 

 

 

 

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