OSCARS 2024 ARRIVALS

If you missed my review of the actual Oscars show yesterday, there are some juicy, and perhaps controversial, observations in there. But no worries—you can still read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/awards-show-oscars-2024.

I didn’t want to muddy the waters by sharing my thoughts on both the awards show and the many arrivals and attendant shows in the same review, which is why I split the usual one article in two.

You can also still read my Oscar night tweets @MajorCelebrity; there are so many new things to say that I’m not repeating the tweets here (even though they’re some of my best work, especially what Mr. X said about Bradley Cooper and his mother!!! I could not stop laughing.) So I suggest you check them out as soon as you finish reading this “arrivals” review.

To watch as many arrivals as I could on Sunday, I switched around between the local ABC coverage, another local news channel, E, and the official national one right before the show. So for once, I’m not commenting much on the interviewers. Actually, this time, they were all better than they’ve been in the past. I’m just lumping them all together, (until I get to the half-hour national show near the end.)

The overriding take-away from the night was just how much Ozempic, (or the other weight-loss drugs,) has been used by Hollywood denizens in the past few months! OMG! How can some of them, (such as Da’Vine Joy Randolph,) still be so big???

And I’m beginning by declaring Carey Mulligan to have looked the absolute best, followed closely by Gabrielle Union and Eva Longoria.

By the way—this is how these arrivals shows work: Some celebs really do show up early because that’s just their nature—to make sure they’re never late to anything, (which is what my parents always did.) But many of the either not famous at all or just lesser actors/songwriters/directors go early because they know that these arrivals shows begin at least three hours before the actual awards telecast, so the hosts are desperate to interview anybody, and this way, they have a greater chance of getting at least a bit of publicity. And the few lucky ticket holders who really have nothing to do with the proceedings at all, (like contest winners or someone’s secretary and her friends,) want to be early to experience the entire hubbub of the day, or just hope that a camera will get them walking in if they look decent enough.

Now I’m going in order of my viewing of the arrivals:

The Holdovers‘ Dominic Sessa showed-up first, so he got face time on just about every channel! Smart. He’s such a sweet, intelligent, grateful kid. Well-spoken and thoughtful, as well.

The local LA duo from Channel 5 here were so excited when they conducted a successful interview!

Even though E’s Laverne Cox has gotten better at interviewing, she creepily kept saying that things are “gagging” her, which is disgusting. It turns-out that she meant it as a good thing, but when I heard her first say it about Rita Moreno, I was shocked until I realized what she meant by it.

Also, Laverne very stupidly put the mike in hearing-impaired Marlee Matlin‘s face, but Marlee saved the interview by very cutely (and pointedly!,) directing it to her interpreter instead.

I loved Past Lives writer/director Celine Song. She’s intelligent and thoughtful and said just the right things. And…I’m so jealous of her spot-on bangs!!!

Eva Longoria said, “We look better now than twenty years ago.” Yeah, right. I just wish that I had had the same surgeries and treatments as the people who can say that!!!

Jamie Lee Curtis looked excellent, too. For her. She actually looked sort-of like her mom that night. (It’s Janet Leigh, in case you don’t know. And now you do!)

Sandra Hüller is a wonderful actress, with double-success this year, (starring in two tough ones–Anatomy of a Fall and The Zone of Interest,) but her Oscars eye make-up was terrible! You can’t wear a cat-eye with shaded lids like hers. And boy, did she need earrings.

Just when I wanted to be a fan of Ramy Youssef, he wore a dress!!! Yuck.

Dwayne Wade spoke well about The Barber of Little Rock, the nominated short documentary for which he’s one of the Executive Producers. But, (and I hate to say this about my fellow Capricorn,) he’s from Illinois, and thinks the “s” at the end of it is pronounced!!! He’s obviously been mispronouncing it his whole life!

But he and his posse made a worthwhile film, so good for them.

Kingsley Ben-Adir is adorbs. And so real.

How much facial surgery has Mary Steenburgen had??? (And, boy, am I jealous!)

Colman Domingo speaks so well.

What is up with the shape of David Alan Grier’s head???

Billie Eilish‘s get-up was horrible, as usual. At first, I had tweeted that her arrivals outfit was the best she had ever looked. But, as soon as I posted it, the camera scrolled down and showed us that, once again, she was dressed like the opposite of a Barbie doll, (which is me putting it kindly.) But she did have much better hair than she usually does, for sure.

Did anyone else notice that Anya Taylor-Joy looks like an alien? Just sayin’.

What’s up with Emma Stone‘s weird, red, pointy-tipped nose???

Julianne Hough looked like the biggest star there, with the paparazzi surrounding her entrance, even though she was on the red carpet solely to interview others.

She was actually the most adorable arrivals interviewer ever, except for one glaring annoyance–she kept saying that absolutely everything was “amazing.” She has to ditch that dreadful habit.

But I have to laud Julianne for something I appreciated–when she and a guest knew each other well, or had an acquaintance in common, she acted like the rest of us do about it, and didn’t make it like she’s so in with the in crowd, as the other interviewers do.

Can people from Barbie finally stop wearing pink now? They’ve ruined the color for me.  Even Barbie herself didn’t wear that much pink! They need to mix in a red or blue already.

Arianna Grande looked awful, but I’m giving her a break because she was on SNL in NY until 1AM the night before, so she must have been exhausted from traveling.

I was going to vomit if one more person told each other how “beautiful” they are. I’m not joking—occasionally, that happened at least four times in one short interview!!!

Simu Liu said of someone, “Her vision for the movie shon through.“ Not the correct “shone”–he thinks the past tense of “shine” is “shon!” Shocking.

No one said Joseph Quinn‘s (who’s in the new A Quiet Place: Day One) last name! Even his co-star, Lupita Nyong’o, with whom he walked the red carpet and got interviewed, referred to him as “this guy!” And Joe was cute—he said, “If you thought the others were quiet…” He was also on the famous Stranger Things, so could someone have looked him up while the host was interviewing him???

There was that cute-but-definitely-not-famous Taylor Perez again! He had no reason for being at the Oscars other than that his publicist is working overtime. But, as you know, I’m always happy to gaze upon a beautiful face, so I’m not mad at him.

Interviewer Vanessa Hudgens pronounced Ariana Grande’s last name as “Granda!” A TV host of any kind should know how to pronounce a guest’s name, especially that of such a famous person!!! Shame on her.

At this point, when all the arrivals shows were over and the real show was about to begin, I told Mr. X, “I’m now too tired to watch, but it doesn’t matter because I’m going to be upset by all the winners, anyhow.” And I was correct! Well, about a lot of them, not all.

Lastly, I don’t have the energy to discuss the after-parties, except for two things:

Emily Ratajkowski‘s horrendously idiotic dress. Why would she, (or anyone,) want the world to see her droopy, saggy boobs??? That’s a real head-scratcher.

And I have one word of advice for Vera Wang—sleeves!!!