TONY AWARDS 2026

This won’t be as long as my Tonys reviews in previous years because there’s not that much to say this time. Most of the comments that Mr. X and I shared with each other while watching the show live were negative. Comically negative, but negative nonetheless. So I just don’t have the heart to repeat most of them here.

I also tweeted a bunch of my other Tonys thoughts, until we got waaay behind in our watching. You can still read the tweets, if you’re curious. (I’m @MajorCelebrity on that platform.)

But I reserved some of my bon mots to share with you guys right here. Let’s get to them already, in the order that they happened. [Note: Since few people care about the Tonys at all, zero channels showed the arrivals! Not even streaming. You had to watch them on-line! And I don’t have that kind of determination.]

First of all, though I really like and admire Pink, why in the world was she the host of the prestigious Tonys?! She’s never been in a Broadway show, (although she’s more talented than all of those creepy non-stars who go from Dancing With The Stars to appear in Chicago!) I predict she will star in a stage musical very soon, but she should not have hosted this year. She performed great, but every time she just spoke, she was so uncomfortable that she kept swaying side to side. (She even joked that would learn how to read next week, because she was so bad with the teleprompter.)

All that being said, that lengthy opening number was wonderful!

But in a little while, Mr. X said, “It’s been dragging from the moment the music stopped,” which he was 100% correct about. And we definitely didn’t need to keep hearing Pink do publicity for her daughter!

Thank goodness for Maya Rudolph. She brought the room up again. (I actually tweeted that exact sentiment on time—three times!—but it just would not go through. Crazy. Does Twitter hate Maya or me?)

Sarah Paulson is such a talented woman, but she’s far from a looker. So why would she make herself look even worse for a big awards show?!

On the other hand, that was the absolute best that Laurie Metcalf has ever looked. Or can!

But I was desperate for June Squibb to win in Metcalf’s category, just for being a nonagenarian who appears on stage every night!!! That woman is ninety-six, and looked better than just about all of them!

When the two little boys from Ragtime appeared on-stage for a stupid bit, Mr. X and I said that we “want to slap this kid” at the same time! (Don’t worry—we’re not into physical abuse, (only mental, and of just each other)–that’s what makes it funny that we both said that!)

I have one word for Rachel Zegler: necklace!

I wholeheartedly expected Marla Mindelle, the woman who co-wrote and stars in Titanique, (as Celine Dion,) to sing much better. (And I do mean much!) [Note: I learned later that many, many people ragged on her singing on social media, so I’m glad I didn’t add to her pain. Perhaps it was just a sound mixing snafu that night.]

Until after the Tonys ended, I had no idea that the person playing Rose’s mother in that show was none other than…Jim Parsons! That was quite the shock.

At this point, after seeing scenes from several of the nominated shows, mainly musicals, I told Mr. X, “I want to write a really stupid show so we can put it on Broadway.” Those seem to be the ones that are succeeding these days.

There should be a separate award for Best Playwright, not just Best Play. The Tony for Best Book is separate for musicals.

The musical Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York) looks adorbs! As do those two actors. It was the first fun show they had shown all night! I can’t wait to see this one!

The young winner for Best Featured Actor in a Musical, Ali Louis Bourzgui, is deep! What a speech he gave. I never heard of him before, but now I’ll seek him out. He doesn’t need to even be an actor—he could run the world! He gave perhaps the speech of the century.

When she won Best Actress in a Play, Brit Lesley Manville, (who I joke with Mr. X that she’s “my close, personal friend” because we met at a party at the Wallis a few years ago, and she seem pretty puzzled by everything I was saying,) quipped, “Would somebody like to write a play for five women?,” in regard to the group of nominees in her category. That is the absolute best thing any winner has ever said regarding their competitors. (They usually declare their admiration for the losing four, and it always sounds so condescending.) And guess what—one of Lesley’s rival’s husbands is Tracy Letts, an award-winning playwright!!! So I expect to see the show she’s conjuring nominated for a bunch of #Tonys in a few years. (Perhaps Mr. Letts should let me collaborate with him for coming up with the idea!)

I hate to say this, but I must be honest: The Rocky Horror Show has the worst-looking cast I’ve ever seen. Even good-looking-in-real-life Luke Evans looked dreadful. And they all appeared to be lip-syncing. (I could be wrong, but I rarely am in that category.) But I did love Luke’s subtle butt-jiggle as he sashayed away. Great butt!

I was shocked when I discovered that one of the women in that musical is excellent TV-and-film actress, Brad Pitt’s ex-girlfriend, and former major Scientologist Juliette Lewis! I knew all those other facts about her, but had no idea that she sings.

I was also shocked that Rachel Zegler sings so beautifully! But how is her singing Kiss the Day Goodbye, the major song from A Chorus Line, (a show she was never a part of,) a “tribute to the original cast,” as it was announced to be???

Nicole Scherzinger looks like an actual alien now. It’s very weird. I guess having soooo much plastic surgery is better than having wrinkles, but still, she looks very odd now. How can she even open her mouth to sing?!

That was a great speech from Best Actor in a Musical, Joshua Henry of Ragtime. He appeared the most popular winner of the night.

And finally, just to let you sticklers know, I did paraphrase the exact title of some of the categories. The ones in the Tonys are way too long to type!