SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS 2024

As a voting member of the Screen Actors Guild, it’s always interesting to be mildly involved with these awards. I’ve actually been on the Nominating Committee a couple of times, (including the inaugural one!,) and was most likely the only one on it who was good enough to see every film up for contention, to be as fair as possible.

But even just being voters for the awards, as Mr. X and I were again this year, gives one a modicum of pride in them, despite few of the correct choices, (in both of our opinions,) came out victorious. Most of our guild just votes like sheep.

I’ve even known actors who give the ballots to their friends to vote! Or they vote for their pals as opposed to on the merit of the performances. Worse yet is the people who vote for a nominee just so that, if they ever bump into them, they can tell them they voted for them. Crazy! Like that will mean anything to the recipient of that crazy adoration.

But, since I missed-out on reviewing the Grammys earlier this month, (because the LA storm knocked-out our reception,) I got into the SAGs with gusto this past week-end!

I also got back into tweeting several of my thoughts on the proceedings, which you can still read on that platform @MajorCelebrity. I thank everyone who read them live.

But I saved most of my review for this e-zine exclusively. So let’s get into it now.

E ARRIVALS

Mr. X and I honestly didn’t know who half these people are, even after seeing their names. That was strange.

And most of the chit-chat is worse than inane, but on we plugged, for you guys!

The mainly idiotic host, Laverne Cox, said, “Tonight, the entire acting community comes together to celebrate each other.” The assemblage at this show is so not even close to being the entire community!!!  (But at least her interviewing work has gotten a tad better than usual.)

And at least she finally covered-up and didn’t do her usual popping-out her fake boobs!

I loved everything Audra McDonald, (who has won more acting Tonys than anybody else in history!,) said—best interview answers and statements ever! On her role in The Gilded Age, she said, “A lot of people think that black people just kind-of showed up! No, we’ve all been here for awhile.” Her asked-for advice to young actors is, “Become the next you, not the next me.” She’s my new favorite person in show biz!!!

I had never heard of, nor seen, some newcomer named Taylor Perez, but it’s always good to see a new, young, handsome guy, especially after he told the creepy interview to “take it easy” after she started gooning-out over one of his answers.

I was happy to see Dominic Sessa (the kid in The Holdovers) there. When asked, he said the best note he got from the director was to “stop acting.” Sweet kid.

The Cox woman said that actor Paul Giamatti is “iconic and legendary,” so someone needs to send her a dictionary pronto!

I adored seeing Leighton Meester and Adam Brody together. I still can’t get over that they’re an item, even though they’ve been together for fourteen years, married for a decade, and have two kids!!!

I guess Kathryn Hahn couldn’t find an outfit for that night because it looked like she just grabbed a tablecloth and a napkin and wrapped them around herself!

NETFLIX ARRIVALS

The two hosts on this one are the absolute worst ever!!! Mr. X and I had to force ourselves to watch, so I could rightly comment on it all for you, dear readers.

I’m sure that Ali Wong is lovely, but her outfit was definitely not. How horrible would it be to have to sit next to someone who was wearing those things that were sticking out? She’s been winning everything this entire season, so she really didn’t need to do that cry for attention.

I love Colman Domingo’s voice.

Cillian Murphy always seems a tad odd, doesn’t he?

So what do we know about Melissa McCarthy right now? She’s been using Ozempic, of course!

Mr. X said that Elizabeth Debicki, (who did a great job of playing Princess Diana,) looks like the “girl on the audition who didn’t get the part.” Touché. And when she turns to the side, she literally disappears. (Okay, color me jealous on this one!)

Jessica Chastain looked the best of everyone! Seriously, she was wearing a very classy and perfectly-fitted gown. She looked perfect without saying “look at me!” (And she even genuinely forgot that she had won a SAG last year in the TV category!)

With just a few words, Mr. X indicated that the award winners shouldn’t say where they’re keeping their awards. He said, “Yeah, tell the thieves where to go.”  Sad, but true in this town. And world!

Okay, this was the worst thing I’ve seen in these dumb red carpet interviews! It was extremely rude of not only the creepy woman host on this Netflix pre-show, but also Jessica Chastain and Bradley Cooper! Shockingly rude! The host woman was talking to Jessica when Bradley and Carey Mulligan were told to go up to the platform to be next. But the hostess excitedly invited Bradley to join Jessica, and those two started hugging and chatting and answering questions, totally leaving-out Carey!!! Sooooo rude! She never even made it on to the camera, at all. So she very classily just walked back down herself, and then when Jessica left the little “stage,” so did Bradley. All three of them owe Carey a huge apology.

Alan Ruck’s wife’s dress was awful. The white top part was goony enough, but the long dress bottom looked like it was just thrown down there at the last second because the white dress was too short! (Trust me on this—my friend did that to me in the Hamptons once! She was appalled that my black dress was so short, so she made me add a long pink chiffon-y schmata to the bottom. I felt like a moron all night, especially when I stopped by a dance club after!)

Margot Robbie had one of the worst outfits! And, as much as I love the color myself, enough with pink already!!! I bet that she’s even sick of it by now! My goodness–Barbie came out last summer!!!

Billie Eilish looked like an idiot…again.

ACTUAL AWARDS SHOW

Why was there no champagne toast this year? The SAGs have always opened with one. Perhaps it’s because the brand didn’t feel like sponsoring it again. Or Netflix just nixed them.

Each “I am an actor” talk at the beginning of the show was waaaay too long tonight! They’re usually just a brief sentence or two, which makes them amusing.

Show-opener Idris Elba’s Robert DeNiro impression was perf! And after it, he went into welcoming everybody perfectly. (This show never has a host. But this time, he not only opened the show, he also closed it, and even gave-out an award.)

But he said “togevra” for “together,” and then forgot the same of the show The Bear, calling it said The Beef!

I really needed commercial breaks! To fill the time that would have been taken up with the ads, they had some gray-haired male idiot interviewing the winners, which was enough already. If we wanted to see their post-victory talks, we could just see them on the news after. And that made the telecast go over the alotted two hours! With no commercials, it should have gone way under that time!

The SAG Awards shouldn’t be on Netflix to begin with. Many more viewers would be able to see the show if it were on a normal, even cable, channel. (It aired on NBC for the first three years, then TNT and TBS until last year. They had signed with Netflix for 2023, but that streaming service wasn’t ready to do a live broadcast yet, so they put it on an even harder-to-find channel then. Oysh.)

I adore Meryl Streep so much, and every level. She is the best actress ever! Even her mishap with the microphone was brilliant.

Because of the extra half hour they had to fill without the commercials, the winners were allowed (and probably encouraged) to give longer speeches. So, when accepting his award, Jeremy Allen White, who won for The Bear, said, “Wow, they give you a lot of time at this one. But that’s all I have.” Good for him.

Ali Wong wore eyeglasses throughout. Good for her, even though her frames were not attractive.

That was the best America Ferrara has ever looked. (And probably can look.)

Melissa McCarthy’s tinfoil dress was hideous. But she is funny.

The dress on Ayo Edebiri, (the girl in The Bear,) was such an odd choice for an awards show. It looked like the old Carol Burnett skit, where she’s wearing curtains, including the rod, and said something to the effect of, “I saw it in the window and I just couldn’t resist it.” Even more so, it looks like when I’m naked in the living room and realize I’m freezing, but don’t want to go back into the bedroom to get clothing because I don’t want to wake Mr. X, so I just throw a blanket around  me.

Why do grown-ups think that saying the f-word on TV is so hilarious?!

Why would they have a presenting duo who no one ever heard of??? Those two must have powerful PR people. Their names are Phil Dunster and Storm Reid, and they barely even got any applause!

Pedro Pascal gave a great drunk speech. I love that guy.

Seriously it’s really ridiculous that Da’Vine Joy Randolph won Supporting Actress for The Holdovers! She did an okay acting job, (which every employed actor should do!,) but her performance was nothing even close to special. I just hope the Oscars voters are smarter than my fellow SAG ones. As I’m sure the audience could see from the small clips of the work, the other four performances were all better.

On a funny fashion note, even though I appreciate that she was all dolled-up for the occasion, Da’Vine’s wig was so obvious; it even came up a little on the right side. I’ve never seen that before.

It was so cute that Past Lives‘ Greta Lee signed to Troy Kotsur, who won for Coda last year. She did it so adorably.

To not say “in a Movie” when it is that category is so rude and crazy. And pretentious. They label it when it’s a television award!

That was a great speech from Beef winner Steven Yuen, comparing his happiness in getting his SAG card to it for getting this award.

Jennifer Aniston forgot the frizz-tamer! And she gave such a phony speech about Barbra Streisand, with tons of mispronunciations. For example, she said “prefirmed” instead of “performed,” and “memorized” instead of “mesmerized.”  Was she perhaps drunk?

And why did the producers of the show have her do the tribute to Barbra to begin with? What is their connection? Why didn’t they get one of Babs’ costars, like DeNiro, Robert Redford, or even crazy Nick Nolte, to do the honors?

One more thing about Jennifer–her hands and veiny arms looked awful.

On the flip side of that, why did Barbra wear gloves??? She’s always been known for her beautiful fingers and nails, and she has always made sure her hands are featured in shots of her, so why cover them up on this important night? Between the gloves, coat, missing lipstick, and especially that god-awful hat, this is one of the worst she’s ever looked.

On top of her look, Barbra should have prepared a charming and funny speech. She didn’t even mention people she’s worked with or who have helped her career! Or perhaps even her son and semi-famous sister. The only people she mentioned were her parents, in a disdainful way. (I have so many not pretty semi-personal stories about her, but you’ll have to wait until I finish my book for them.)

The worst part of her long speech was when she turned into Jackie Mason or Shecky Greene, with a stupid and depressing bit about nominees waiting to see if they won. That was not nice to the nominees who are there, still waiting to find-out if they did! Maybe that’s why her attempt at a long joke fell totally flat.

I never noticed that Bradley Cooper’s eyes are on different planes until Maestro. Now I can’t un-notice it!

Who would have thought the funniest person there would be Idris Elba? He cracked me up all night. And good for him to announce Robert Downey, Jr. quickly, so Robert DeNiro didn’t think it was him.

Robert Downey, Jr. had an interesting sartorial statement. There were slits at the back of his pants’ bottoms. I had never seen that before.

Alexander Skarsgård and Omar Sy, (I had to look him up and I still don’t know why he was on there!,) were the funniest and most charming presenter duo.

At this point in the show, I made a note that, with no breaks, this is getting really long. The audience is hardly reacting anymore. This was supposed to be a two-hour show, but it felt more like five!

They haven’t even given anyone’s credits as they’re announced!

In his one little presenting bit, Brendan Fraser was the most grateful person on this show, ever!  He was still teary-eyed on stage a year after his one win!

Cillian Murphy gave a boring but sweet speech.

My jaw dropped to see Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis presenting together!!!  I wonder how many people outside of me understood the significance.  And that is that–they were married to each other…in the late ’80s! And I believe it was not a fun divorce.

But it was sort-of weird on this show because they were sort-of whispering to each other while doing their presenting schtick.

By the way, I love Jeff personally because he’s always told me that he was a fan of my show. The first time was at an industry screening. He sat behind me and grabbed my shoulder, and asked, “Are you that girl on TV?” When I affirmed that I am, he said in his inimitable style, “Oh, you’re terrific.” And when I saw him several years later at a club where his combo was playing, he came right to me, and asked me if I remembered that we had met before. What a guy!

But it was weird that, the whole time Jeff was doing his little bit with Geena, he was chewing…like a great-uncle.

The best, classist, most lovely and meaningful speech was given in the last award, by Kenneth Branagh. (I think that’s who he was. The beard confused me–at first I thought he was Ewan McGregor! Honestly. I actually had to look it up!)

That’s it for my 2024 SAG Awards review. But no worries—the Oscars will be here in less than two weeks!