OUR TRIP TO SAN FRANCISCO PART II—MR. X’S TAKE
In case you missed yesterday’s column, Mr. X and I spent a long (and I do mean loooong) week-end in San Francisco this past July. He was doing a commercial, and I got to go along for the ride. (If you missed my part of the review, you can read it here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/travel-my-trip-to-san-francisco-part-i-my-review.)
So, now, for the first time ever, and with great pride, I bring you the review of a guest columnist—Mr X! [Note: My only addition is in brackets, like this one is.] Here’s his take on the hotel the production company chose for us, (which is really an email he wrote to a pal, that I purloined to share with you all!):
OUR SAN FRANCISCO TRIP—BY MR. X!
Did a commercial in San Francisco last week-end. Stayed at the Hotel Carlton that was made famous (to me) as the hotel that Paladin lives in in the fictional Have Gun Will Travel.
Every person at the hotel was kind, sweet, and attentive. A one-man band called Snazz performs in the lobby from 5PM to 6PM while free wine is served. A good pizza joint/bar is right next door, a highly renowned restaurant is on the premises, and the warm rooms are painted in soft pastels. [And he does mean “warm,” in every sense.]
Heading to San Francisco? Check out the Carlton Hotel. Not to be confused with the stuffy Ritz of the same name, the Carlton is located just of few short blocks from the action-packed Tenderloin District where the street meets anyone with a yen for dramatic confrontation.
Not to worry about summer travel because, forget air-conditioning, our fourth floor rooms are equipped with ceiling fans and windows that look out onto the expansive roof of the Halstead Gray Funeral Home.
Need ice? It’s just a lazy ride down to the lobby in our cozy 4’x4′ elevators.
Can’t sleep from the heat? No problem. Just open your carjack-friendly window. Still too hot? Again, no problem. Simply open your room door in the middle of the night to create a nice cross-ventilating breeze that’ll cool you off until you’re tired of jumping at every noise, thinking someone’s walking down the corridor. And with that window open, lucky you will notice there’s plenty of Frisco action till about 4 AM in the form of sporadic gun shots, police sirens, car alarms, and the occasional unexplained very loud explosion. All of which is flavored by the soothing sounds of drunks fighting. Just a short stroll from home base, and you can take in our unique local color as you encounter flamboyant hookers and multiple homeless people walking in circles.
So come on up to the Carlton where the risk of air-conditioning-caused Legionnaires’ Disease is zero.