CHARITY’S BACHELORETTE SEASON (#20) WRAP-UP

This was actually the happiest season of The Bachelorette I’ve ever seen!

As much as I hate to admit that I watch this low-class franchise, I have to. It all began during the pandemic, of course, when there was not much else to do. And, also of course, I roped Mr. X into watching it with me.

I must say, this was the best season in my three and a half years of watching it: the lead was a pretty, classy, intelligent girl, (except for her always saying “me and him,” as opposed to the correct, “he and I”); there was the best crop of “contestants” ever; she chose the right guy; and the adorable runner-up, Joey, became the next Bachelor. So it was all good.

But most of you will not guess who the highlight of the series was for me. I’m giving you a second before I tell you. (And keep in mind—I’m often shallow!)

Okay, drum roll for my favorite person ever on this entire franchise—ready?–it’s…Brayden!!! And yes, I am ashamed of myself for it. But only a little bit.

He’s adorable looking, enthusiastic, and…honest! The stupid jealous other guys were ragging on him for saying that although he liked Charity, he didn’t think he was ready to get engaged in just those few weeks. And…he is correct! He’s twenty-four-years-old, for goodness sake! He has his whole future ahead of him. And he’s supposed to want to marry somebody he just met??? Give me a break.

So not only is he beautiful-looking, with a sense of style, (which I love in a guy, except for his way-too-long earring choices,) but he can stand up for himself.

Yes, I know that you’re not supposed to apply to be on any of these silly shows if you’re not ready to not only get engaged right away, but to a stranger, to boot. But you know that’s not the case for most of them. They all go on there for their own fame and fortune. And if they fall in love and it works out, (which it rarely does,) all the better. But, despite the vie-ers being told they need to be there “for the right reasons,” that reason is rarely to really find your “person.”

My quasi-crush on Brayden was confirmed for me on the final show of the season on Monday night, without him saying a word. When host Jesse Palmer asked everyone in the small-ish live studio audience to stand if they would like to date new Bachelor Joey, (meaning the girls,) Brayden jumped right up to lend support to his former cast-mate! How adorable of him.

And just to show you how media-savvy I am, this is an email exchange I had—way back on July 18!!!–with a grown-up television executive who, despite being smart and worldly, absolutely loves the spin-off series, Bachelor in Paradise, (which I’m proud to say that I’ve never once seen.):

Me: “What are the chances Brayden won’t be the star of the next BIP???”

Exec: “He’s an idiot…”

Me: “So, of course, he’s my favorite! Except for the long earrings.

But I really hope she picks Dotun. I’ve hoped so for a while. And I think she will.”

So, I not only correctly predicted that Brayden would now be on Bachelor in Paradise, (which begins next month,) but also that Charity would choose Dotun! And I’m a relatively newbie in so-called “Bachelor Nation!” If I would only use all of my abilities in more worthwhile ways, I could run the world!!! (Okay, I think I’m getting ahead of myself here.)

So now back to just a few more thoughts I had on the Finale of this inanity.

First of all, of course Charity is going to be on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars!!! How did I miss predicting that one! I’m sure she’ll do great on it. I just hope they pair her with a happily-married pro because that show has broken-up a number of couples who don’t like to see their loved-ones manhandled by someone else. (And let’s face it—Charity is always just about naked, which she can easily do with her cute skinny bod!)

Why can’t The Bachelor producers never afford air-conditioning during these shows??? Or just not shoot close-ups, (like during “rose ceremonies,”) outside in the heat?! It’s so creepy to see the people on there always sweat profusely! And then they have to grab each others’ drenched faces and lay the mac down!!! At the very least, can they not have the make-up people towel the contestants down???

As much as I am not a fan of fourth-place guy Aaron, what the producers did to him was really cruel. They needed a sacrificial lamb after Charity had unexpectedly eliminated third-place Xavier the week before. They felt they still needed a third person to be in the absolutely unnecessary last rose ceremony, and to fill the airtime that drama with a final-three guy would take, so they had Aaron fly twelve hours, (each way!,) from San Diego back to Fiji for just one day just for the sake of their stupid show. That is soooo offensive.

She had already nixed him the week before, so everyone in the world, including Aaron himself, knew that she wasn’t going to all of a sudden choose him over one of her top two. It was actually evil of the producers to make him fly all that way again only to be rejected that same night.  (I just hope that his deal was an entire week there, and that he got to bring a friend along for an all-expenses-paid vacay.)

I think the only honest Bachelorette there’s ever been was Clare, who told the producers right away that she was interested in only Dale, so she was quitting the show because she didn’t want to go through the rest of the season of baloney. I always give her so much credit for that. (And that’s what got Mr. X and me interested in this nonsensical show to begin with.)

I actually thought that Charity was going to be one of the most honest people ever on there, as well. But she told both Dotun and Joey that she was in love with them, and that’s just not possible. You’re not “in love” with two people, especially after that brief time of knowing them. You can want to date both men, but not be confused as to which virtual stranger you’re going to get engaged to in a matter of weeks!!!

That whole nonsense really pissed me off. And it did Mr. X, as well, because he had to hear me say it every other second during the finale!

All that being said, this Season 20 of The Bachelorette was a really good one. It goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its quiet cover. We didn’t think Dotun stood a chance for the first few weeks, because he was so quiet and classy, and far from a boat-rocker, and then, as soon as Charity took him into her room for a more private conversation away from the prying eyes of all the other guys, I knew he was the one. (I guess she did, too!)

So I’m happy with the whole situation. Two nice people getting together and appearing to be really in love—what can be better than that???

Oh, I know what can be better—watching Braydon, (and his cute, spongey, swim trunks-clad body,) on next month’s Bachelor In Paradise! If I don’t throw-up from the rest of that show first.