SUMMER CONTEST SHOW UPDATES

 

Before we get too far into the season, I want to weigh-in quickly on two of the summer’s talent contest television shows.

 

THE VOICE

 

This is the stupidest one ever! It’s called The Voice because they wanted to make it about the voice only, and not about looks, style, or personality. It’s supposed to be just blind judging of voices, like we all did pre-MTV. (People really did that before TV, period. Can you just imagine?)

But only the very first auditions were blind, and even then, just for the judges. The audience never got to experience that at all. I guess they think that we really do need visuals, so the whole premise is bogus.

As soon as the judges turned their chairs around and saw the contestants, that was it!!! No more “the voice.” Sheer stupidity, if you ask me, which you did by reading my rants.

And the judges are definitely going by personality! Blake Shelton had to decide between Serabee, an older woman, (well, in her forties,) who can sing her ass off but appears to be a tad arrogant about her talent, and obnoxious to boot, and a nerdy younger girl, Dia something-or-other, who, at least in that particular “battle,” was dreadful. But he had told the former to hold back, and when she sang full-out, which was one of the best performances on the show to date, he chose the other girl. So, in that case, it had nothing to do with “the voice.” It’s just another contest show with mediocre singers.

And the judges keep telling everyone how great they are, no matter how awful we, the audience, perceive them to be. They haven’t told anyone that they missed yet. They act like they’re judging Special Olympics, where, rightfully so, kindness is the order of the day. But that shouldn’t be the case here. Last week, they told some strange-looking young girl, Raquel Castro, that she was “awesome,” “incredible,” and “amazing,” when all she did was stomp around the stage and scream-out the word “blow,” (or something like it—I couldn’t even make out that one word!,) while professional dancers danced around her. Pathetic.

And the four judges, Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine, and the aforementioned Blake Shelton, keep making like it’s really a competition among them, because that’s supposed to be part of the basis of the show to begin with. But it’s so phony! I’m sure they really care about it, and not just there for publicity and big bucks. Not.

And they keep saying things like, “My team is going to win. They’re amazing!,” when there are no real “teams,” per se. Team members are pitted against each other all the time, which is the opposite definition of the word “team.” It’s hard to accept such absolute stupidity.

But I watch, just in case. Or because nothing else is on at the time, and I need to just veg-out on the couch for awhile, and try to give my over-active mind a rest. But the show actually has the opposite effect. I have to keep commenting on the silliness of it all.

Fortunately, there is some real talent so far, mainly from bald people—two women and two men. The best, by far, is Javier Colon, from Adam’s so-called “team.” If he wins, the show will have been worth it. And they do give us almost a week to vote, which is good for those who feel compelled to but are just too tired that night, (like I do and am,) or who don’t watch what they DVRed until several days later.

But that’s just about it. It’s mainly depressing to see people like American Idol cast-off Frenchie Davis, who’s already been a Broadway star for years, (Rent,) trying to make it further by appearing on this show.

I reserve my final judgement till the season finale, but I just may close my eyes, to see what the show would be like if it lived up to what it was purported to be.

 

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

 

Season 8 has finally begun. Yay! First a word about, as he likes to be called, “Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe,” who was also back working on American Idol this past season. It’s interesting that he can give himself such a big on-screen presence on So You Think You Can Dance while producing both really big shows. Even though most everyone I know think he’s kind-of jerk-ish, (the number of opinions isn’t that big, though, since, sadly, I don’t have very many pop-culturally-aware pals,) I do applaud him for bringing dance as much to the forefront as singing, or at least trying to.

We all know that dancers just can’t compare, fame- and pay-wise, to musical talents, and I still can’t figure out exactly why. The obvious reasons, of course , are that fans need a screen or stage to view their talent, as opposed to being able to absent-mindedly listen to music in a car, a home, or just about anywhere, though, in actuality, singers have to also look interesting nowadays to get really famous. [See my rant above on the topic.]

Okay, I could go on all day about why dancers are more talented, but less-recognized, than all other disciplines, but let’s just get to this new season of the show. Here are some random thoughts I jotted down while watching last week’s Top 20 Announcement show:

Where’s Alex Wong? He’s the amazing guy dancer, from the Miami Ballet Company, who got hurt last year, when he was projected by all to win. They told him he could re-join the Top 10 this year, but nary a word about him! At least let us know what’s going on with him! (They do that all the time on this show—for example, they built up this whole drama in Vegas Week about that a guy couldn’t lift a heavy girl dancer, so they had to find new partners and dance the routine again. Of course, they played up the heavy girl’s story and re-dux results, but didn’t even mention the guy again! Follow-up, people, follow-up!) [Note: I talked to last year’s runner-up, Kent Boyd, in February, six months after Alex’s show-ending injury, and he told me that the two of them were performing in a show in Kent’s hometown of Wapakoneta, Ohio that next week, so I guess his leg heeled, thank goodness.]

The producers and director need to make the people in the front section sit the heck down!!! I’m sure they want them standing, to make us at home think it’s so great, but then they have to do weird camera angles and even cut-off the feet. Of dancers!!! Kind-of defeats its own purpose, doesn’t it???

There’s a sweet girl dancer, Melanie, who has the worst short hairdo ever! Possibly even worse than when a hairdresser cut all of mine off, when I was still doing my show, and it was beyond dreadful, (jewelry companies kept calling me to offer me earrings and necklaces, to take away from my face!,) so I know what I’m talking about. She’s so sweet, and the judges love her, but where are the hair people in this??? Mr. X can’t even watch her; he says her not-even-close-to-feminine ‘do is just too distracting.

There are lots of girls I won’t be sad to see go this season, but I hate to lose even one boy—they’re all great. My two faves are the tall tap dancer, Nick Young, and Jess LeProtto, the diminutive jazz guy. They did my favorite number together in the announcement show. I can’t believe my two favorites dancers are white guys because that just rarely happens.

I’m so glad they went back to twenty contestants this year, rather than the paltry ten they chose last season. (Well, it really was eleven, but they called it ten. Show biz.) And mixing that number up with adding the “All-Star” at the Top 10 stage is really great—that way we don’t have to worry about the short guys being paired with taller females down the road. Finally a new concept on this show that I agree with!

Last, but definitely not least, the host, Kat Deeley, is even more annoying than ever, if that’s even possible. I know she’s English, but her presentation of hosting like a fifties British host is downright creepy. And she needs to stop calling all the contestants hers! As in, “my boys,” or “my babies.” They’re not hers, and she had nothing to do with even getting them there! At all! Even one iota! Stop trying to make it about you, Kat! Or just go back to England, where they might appreciate your weird style. And stop getting in the way of my enjoyment of the show.