AMERICA’S GOT TALENT—SEASON 9 FINALE

 

Mr. X and I did some serious binge-watching to catch-up on the entire summer season of AGT recently. But, catch-up we did.

And, we were actually very impressed by some of the acts, with four of our favorites even making it into the Final Six!

Speaking of which, I have just three words for all of the people on, or connected with, this show, from host Nick Cannon, to the quartet of judges, to the contestants–final, final, final!!! There can be only one final! That’s why it’s final!!! There is no such things as the plural “finals,” unless it’s about multiple subjects, as in school, where we have about five end-of-term finals. But, on one show, there’s only one Final—singular. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me every time these less-than-brilliant peeps refer to the one final in the plural! Enough already. You all sound like idiots!

Okay, deep breaths, Karen. That topic really does get me steamed-up.

They always make like the prize is to get your own “headline show in Vegas,” which is so stupid. The judges keep saying things like, “You deserve to win because you deserve a show in Vegas.” Guess what?–The prize is money, not a show in Vegas!!! All six of the finalists appear in two days of shows in Vegas, but that’s it for the “show in Vegas” connection!

The judges also always say other things like, “I don’t know if this act can sustain a forty-five minute show in Vegas.” But that has nothing to do with what they’re looking for! Why do they make those inane comments? The Vegas Tourism Board (or whatever they have there,) must be paying them to say that! I’m not kidding. They need to not do that next season; it’s just confusing. If the producers want to do a competition show to find “The Next Big Vegas Act,” then do that show! But don’t muddy the AGT waters. [Note: Everything on this site is copyrighted, so please don’t even think of ripping-off that name and/or concept!!!]

When are the judges going to realize they’re there to critique each act, rather than discuss how “America” is going to vote?! So annoying.

The new drinking game next summer should be whenever anyone on AGT says the word “America.” Except there may not even be enough booze in—guess where–America–for that!

And the judges keep talking about “consistency.” Stern told the Sons of Serendip they were good “week after week after week,” making it sound like it was a show like American Idol, where we get to see the final two perform at least a dozen times. But, in the case of AGT, they each perform only five or six times in the whole season!!! Geez.

I have only one more note on the series in general, and that is–why does he insist on being called judge Howard Stern??? What an insecure idiot! All four of them are judges, not one more important than the others. Get over yourself already.

The rest of my thoughts are on this week’s competition Final, and last night’s season Finale. (If you don’t know the difference between those two words, look it up. One English lesson a day is my limit, and I already used that up on the word “final.”)

Here goes, with the performance show going first:

Four singing acts is not a great Final Six. I wish it had been a little more varied. I could have easily lost Emily West and Miguel Dakota, though I do think the latter will be a star.

This competition is hardest on the acrobats. There’s so much more work they have to do in-between shows than the singers.

Quintavious Johnson is truly amazing. That kid can sure sang! And he’s not the least bit obnoxious. Unbelievable. I cry every time I hear him. The only other singer who ever produced that reaction in me is Adam Lambert, since way before he was famous. And look how great that’s turned-out! I have a feeling Quint will be even more famous. At the very least, he’ll be a gospel star right away.

And he has a sweet sense of humor. I feel awful that my mother never got to hear him. On this level of life anyway; I have a feeling all of heaven can hear that kid!

Sons of Serendip are the first ones who’ve ever seemed to realize that the final is as far as they can go. The others keep saying stupid things like, “I’m not ready to go home.” Guess what? Everyone‘s going home after the finale, win, lose, or judge!

Even though I was rooting for (and voting for) Rhode Island boy, magician Mat Franco, (who graduated from URI, my favorite of the four colleges I attended,) I do have to admit that the gymnastic troupe, AcroArmy, was the best act of the competition final night, by far.

Emily West said she auditioned because she “had nothing.” She has a great family, health, and she recorded a duet with Keith Urban! So, how ungrateful is she? I’m really hoping she doesn’t win. She deserves it the least. Why did they give her the star spot??? She chose a great song, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, and they gave her fake rain, to boot!!! She better not win, though.

As I said, I absolutely adore young Quintavious Johnson, on so many levels, but I feel that, on this last competition number, he should have taken us to church, like he’s more than capable of doing, rather than singing the relatively benign Let It Be. He performed it really beautifully, (all his singing is heavenly,) but I felt he needed something more rousing to get the win.

Now to the results show:

The judges need to stop saying what a “tough job” America has, to decide a winner. What about people who clean toilets??? Isn’t that just a bit harder than deciding for whom to vote on a TV show???

How is Lenny Kravitz a star? His singing is awful! I guess I never heard him before.

Contestant Miguel Dakota was so much better than Lenny in their duet!!! OMG. (Mr. X added, “Which isn’t saying much.”)

I can’t believe what I just witnessed—that duet of And I Am Telling You, by Quintavious Johnson and Jennifer Hudson, was unbelievable! How does a twelve-year-old have the knowledge to sing like that?! I’m going to pieces over it again, just because I’m writing about it. (I sobbed my guts out when I saw it.) That kid is truly amazing. After that performance, I told Mr. X that Quintavious really does deserve the win. (Of course, he got screwed later, by coming in fifth. Fifth!!! What were people, including me, thinking?! But he handled it beautifully, as he does everything.)

Hey, Emily West and Cyndi Lauper–when you’re singing a song titled True Colors, you should not be wearing black and white! That’s the wrong visual!

And their duet was awful, especially after the one just performed by Quint and JHud!

What happened to Cyndi Lauper??? She’s featuring her skinny legs, hoping they distract us from noticing her new SpongeBob SquarePants body.

Are the writers and producers stupid? Is there not one among them who can write correctly? While announcing the order of finish, (working backwards, of course,) they had host Nick Cannon say, “The act who will be leaving the competition right now is…” Guess what? They’re all leaving tonight—it’s the finale!!! I can’t stand the awful writing on this show! Thank goodness for them that it’s not a literacy competition!

And here are my final thoughts of the season, (notice that “final” is singular,) about where each act came in:

Number 6: Miguel Dakota. This is the correct spot for him. He’s an adorable guy. I think he’ll get famous.

Number 5: Quintavious Johnson. As I already mentioned, Quint (as I like to call him, only because I hate typing his long first name,) got screwed, big-time. He really should have won!!! I think everyone assumed others were voting for him.

Number 4: Sons of Serendip. This was absolutely the correct place for this lovely musical quartet. I know they’ll work now, which is great for them. (Although, the lawyer may make more in his studied-for vocation.) I just hate that stupid name they chose, and are now stuck with.

Number 3: AcroArmy. They may have gotten a tad screwed, as well. They probably should have been first or second, but I’m really glad they at least made the Top Three.

Number 2: Emily West. Thanks goodness she didn’t win, but it should have been Quint in the Top Two, instead of Emily. She’s a good singer, and I think she’ll work now, but there’s really nothing special about her, at all. Maybe she’s a million times better in person, because Mr. X and I just don’t get it, hearing her on TV.

And the winner, which I guess you’ve figured-out by now, is fabulous magician, and all-around pleasant and adorable guy, Mat Franco! I could not be happier for him! So, he made two records tonight—he’s the first magician to win the show, and the first person from Rhode Island to do so! As one of my two adopted states, I’m so glad they can now boast a Miss Universe, and an America’s Got Talent winner!!! And me, to laud them all! You go, Little Rhodys!