AMERICAN IDOL, SEASON 10, MUSINGS #2

 

For weeks now, everyone I talk to asks my opinion of this season of American Idol. I addressed my initial thoughts here: http://tinyurl.com/64pgfyy when the season began. Now that the show’s really begun to annoy me, I, of course, have musings to add.

Enough with Ryan declaring “You won’t believe…!!!” We believe it already. And nothing is shocking.

That friggin’ bi-atch woman who was rude to those two young girls, who’s supposed to be a singing coach, not a boot camp sergeant, should be banned from the business. Instead, these insane producers, who are desperate to find another Simon, (but never will,) will probably promote her! Why do all these reality-type shows think that rudeness is the way to go? It’s just evil, and honestly, no normal person wants to see that.

[Sidebar on the above topic: when I was doing my TV show, I decided to still proctor SATs at a local high school, which I had done since I had first come out here. But, of course, being hip kids, most of them recognized me, but I played it down–we were all there to help them get into college. But, when one kid didn’t do well, he blamed it on me for being a distraction due to my “fame!” If just seeing me can ruin a kid’s SAT scores, what does being screamed at do to these poor fragile teen-agers? That woman is a travesty.]

Every season, they proclaim that this is the “best talent ever!” or some inanity like that. After last season’s basic bunch of lummoxes, this crop does sound pretty good. But, they’ve let a lot of the good ones go, while keeping people whose stories they think they can milk for all they’re worth. (That’s why I was shocked they let poor Chris Median go, the guy with the horrific fiancée story.)

But they barely let us hear them! They waste our time featuring the judges and Ryan and sad sack tales. The whole thing is so annoying.

And Randy’s nickname should not be “dawg”–it should be “parrot” because that’s all he does! That man has never had an original thought in his life! At least, not on TV. He repeats everything the other two say. It’s actually getting kind-of comical, with things like Jennifer telling someone she “loves their dress,” and Randy saying right on the heels of it, “I love your dress.” Does he ever listen to himself??? (The day I wrote this sentence, he did the very same thing on that night’s show. It was at least the third time for this very dialogue! Doesn’t he even watch the show? Will he never learn?)

Before I give my rundown on the contestants, I need to tell you (and them) of a point Mr. X made while watching the recent dreadful Oscars. When they showed the clip of Lena Horn singing, Mr. X said that everyone on American Idol should watch her to see how to sell the song, and not his/herself. Sadly, at least half of these people need to learn that lesson.

On one more side note, I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally see three Jewish guys in the Top 24! Outside of my all-time favorite, Adam Lambert, I don’t think this show has ever had any other Jewish contestant. The producers seem to want to placate every ethnic group each season, but always ignore this demographic.

Here are my thoughts on some of the newly-named Top 24, beginning with the ones I don’t like:

James Durbin–the Adam Lambert-wannabe, he’s just downright creepy. He wears outfits similar to Adam’s and he thinks he wails like Adam, but he’s a sad imitation, without the looks, intelligence, kindness or charm. I’m the first one to acknowledge just how terrible Tourette’s Syndrome is, and I’m thrilled if someone overcomes it. It looks, from the many eye movements he exhibits, that he does have it, and I’m glad he’s found a way to control it. That’s actually the better story–he should be helping others learn whatever techniques he’s been using. But, having lost a pal with Asperger’s, I don’t like that syndrome to be bandied about lightly. James doesn’t even pronounce it correctly, and if he does indeed have it, and was not, rather, incorrectly diagnosed, he should be enlightening us about that situation, as well, and not just using it to be unemployed or gain sympathy votes.

Haley Reinhart–that annoying girl who can’t sing a straight note reminds me of Maya Rudolph’s hysterical affected national anthem on SNL several seasons ago. It‘s a classic. (If you’ve never seen it, you should see if it’s on you tube to see the similarities for yourself. )

Tatynisa Wilson–how did she get in here? She never had even one good audition! I know they try to balance out the ethnicities, but there were way better black girls. This choice is just nuts! Maybe they just wanted someone who could be voted off first, without anyone feeling bad about it.

Jordan Dorsey–this guy’s just a douche-bag. Period.

Thia Megia–couldn’t stand this full-of-herself kid on America’s Got Talent a few seasons ago, and even more so now. I know she can sing somewhat, but that’s not enough to make it in the biz. The voters are usually nuts, though, so she may make it far on this show.

Julie Zorillo–this is the Columbian chick, who thinks that wearing crinolines makes her special, who Jlo declared the winner in the first auditions! She’s so not special thus far, and her ego really rubs me the wrong way. Not a fan of her mediocre singing, either.

Lauren Alaina–I know this is a surprising “no” for me, but her innocent act finally wore thin. The final straw was when she baby-stepped her way on stage to hug her future stalkee, Steven Tyler. (She’s had him sing with her for her family, brought him on-stage to sing to him during Hollywood Week, and sang one of his songs for her solo. Hence, future stalker.) Then., did you see how shocked she was when she thought they were telling her she didn’t make it? I don’t care how well she sings–I just cannot root for someone like that.

Jacob Lusk–he’d be perfect to star in the life story of…Pearl Bailey! Except that he sings way higher than she did. I was happy for him for his one big triumph, and his skipping-like-Phoebe routine when he made the top 24 made my mother laugh, but he’s not even close to as good as they’re making out on the show.

Now, my top choices, which usually mean they don’t have a prayer on this show because they can actually sing and are interesting and likeable:

Casey Abrams–to this point, he’s my fave. So original, with personality, intelligence and ease with himself and all others. I’m always happy to see him come on the screen because I know we’re in for something special. And, as with some of the others who can play old school musicians in a film, he’s be perfect to play jazz great, and fellow weirdo, Jack Sheldon. If only he can blow a trumpet, which my money’s on him to learn, if need be.

Paul McDonald–love Paul! He’s one person to really root for. He makes every song sound interesting and fresh, and he doesn’t try to give himself a hernia doing so.

Robbie Rosen–he’s just plain wonderful, on every level, so far. But, if this gig doesn’t work-out for him, though it should, he can star as Felix Cavaliere in the story of the 60s music group, The Young Rascals. (Again, look it up people!)

Brett Loewenstern–this high-voiced little curly-haired redhead can actually sing really well.

Lauren Turner–if they can only give this poor girl a much-needed make-over, she may have a chance because, so far, she’s been singing great!

Karen Rodriguez–she can really sing, and ahs Jennifer, and every Spanish-speaking American, in her corner, so, hopefully, she’ll go a long way.

The jury’s still out on the rest.

But it appears they’re doing a different format this year–just one preliminary Top 24 competition, rather than the usual three or four. I guess they’ll halve it in one fell swoop, which is weird. Maybe they’re afraid the audience is losing interest this season. And, these first performances are pre-taped, perhaps to cut down on the first live telecast nerves.

I guess we’ll just have to tune-in to figure it all out. And then continue watching this season to see it boil down to all guys again at the end. From my mouth to God’s ears.