SPORTS: VARIOUS ICE SHOWS

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STARS ON ICE

 

One of my favorite events of the year is coming up! And, no, it’s not my January 14 birthday, though sometimes I look forward to that, too. It’s Stars On Ice and it’ll be here next week-end. This time around, it’s at the Staples Center in addition to the usual Anaheim Pond.

Kyoko Ina and John Zimmerman photo by Mike Okoniewski

Kyoko Ina and John Zimmerman photo by Mike Okoniewski

I’ve been lucky enough to attend this show for many years, and have seen all the cast changes along the way. I’m so excited that after a several-year break from the tour to raise her two young daughters, Ekaterina Gordeeva is returning to it. And our city will be treated to a guest performance by one of my favorite skaters, and Katya’s, too, since he’s her husband, Ilia Kulik. I love that boy!

This show is different from others because it features many group numbers, not just individual performances. Which means that I’ll have extra chances to drool over the super-hunky John Zimmerman. I know he’s a pair on the ice with Kyoko Ina, and she has amazing athletic abilities, but I really see just Johnny Z. Same way as in my dreams.

I got to meet him at the nationals when they were here in LA five years ago, and he was darling. What a man! Makes me want to get much more famous, and learn how to skate, just to let him throw me around on “Skating With Celebrities,” which he came in second on last year. (The winning team was having an affair, so it was kind-of hard to beat their chemistry, I guess. I called it, too, way before anyone knew. I can always recognize the feel of fresh sex in the air!)

Todd Eldridge, former World and National Champion, is in the show, too. I’m always surprised that I’m riveted to his performances. He’s so easy going in life that I’m never prepared for his dynamic skating. I’ve met him several times, as well, and freaked him out by saying that he looks like the son of my father and me. Perhaps I should have kept that to myself.
As I said it, (the first time of many), it sounded strange even to me. But Mr. X and I always say that everyone looks like the child of two diverse people, and we know what we mean. (Here’s an obscure example: Mr. X says that Stockard Channing looks like the daughter of Buddy Hackett and Elizabeth Taylor. The next time a better one comes to me, I’ll write it in a future column.) Todd is actually the image of my father as a young man, (so of course he’s my mother’s favorite), but has blue eyes, like me. That’s all I meant when I broke the news to him, but now I think that he thinks that I’m a tad weird. Join the club.

There really aren’t many female stars in the professional world nowadays, so this show may seem to be a tad testosterone-heavy, which is fine with me. (Check their website below for the entire cast line-up.)

Olympic champ Alexei Yagudin is back again, with his awe-inspiring footwork, and former National champ, Michael Weiss, is appearing for the first time. Look for his famous back-flip (his dad, a former Olympic gymnast, first taught it to Scott Hamilton back in the day) and his “freedom-blades” that allow him to do special tricks. I interviewed Michael on Sports Radio a few years back, and he’s quite entertaining off the ice, as well.

Christopher Dean, one of the most brilliant skaters in history (I hope you’ve all had the almost religious experience of viewing tape of his famous “Bolero” number with dance partner Jayne Torvill, which won the Olympics way back when) is choreographing, so my mouth is watering as I write. (This time not over him, but his amazing work.)

Emmy Award-winning costume designer Jef Billings, (who originally introduced himself to me as a fan of my show, so we can all see how brilliant he is), is continuing with the show this year, so we’re in for many visual treats. Here’s another reason for me to try to get more famous: to wear gowns designed by Jef and my other favorite designer, Ret Turner, whose dress I wore the first time I was on the Tonight Show.

But I digress. So, back to Stars. I feel we’re in for a special show this year. Hope to see all of you there. And, if by some magic, I get to meet John Zimmerman again, look for a picture of us in this column next week. After I take it out from under my pillow!
Smucker’s Stars On Ice www.starsonice.com
Anaheim Pond January 20
Staples Center January 21

STARS ON ICE–PART II

I read my own preview of this show last week, and had to run right out and see it at Staples Center! And had my dream come true afterwards, by hanging with the unbelievably gorgeous, personable, and talented John Zimmerman, thanks to their great PR man, Michael Sterling, who runs the surrounding hubbub so smoothly. (Seriously, Michael is like the Jack Bauer of publicity; he makes everything move along.) More on my meeting with John later. (I’m sure you’re all waiting with bated breath!)

Stars On Ice was started many years ago by Scott Hamilton, and has always been comprised of the superstars of skating. The professional world of the sport is suffering a dearth of those now, with many retirements, but this show still has a mainly stellar cast. Most of these are guys, led by 2002 Olympic champ, Alexei Yagudin. He has to be seen in person to be believed. He’s like a bullet across the ice.

First of all, the guy must have zero percent body-fat. And his footwork looks like it’s special effects. It seems like what he does is humanly impossible. This is just my own thought, but now that he’s moved back to Russia to live, I don’t know how many more years he’ll want to tour in the US, so I’d see him while you can. (This show is touring the country through March. You can check the schedule at the website below.)

1996 World Champion, Todd Eldredge and newest cast member, three-time US champ Michael Weiss, more than hold their own. Several people in Sunday’s audience remarked that they were surprised at just how talented Michael is. He’s dynamic, and has the best tricks of all the singles skaters in this show. And Todd is still the best male spinner in the professional world and has added old-fashioned barrel rolls to his repertoire. They were fun to see again. Britain’s Steven Cousins, who has been with the show for years, is as macho and chipper as always.

On the ladies’ side, there’s Yuka Sato, who is rightly considered to be the best female pro out there since winning the World championships way back in ’94. In person, she really does seem to be floating across the ice, without touching it. And there is a genuine smile on her face, at all times. She truly loves performing and is a joy to behold.

My favorite is Ekaterina Gordeeva, who’s a two-time Olympic gold medalist in pairs with her late husband, Sergei Grinkov. She has to be in her mid-30s, but still looks like a teen-ager, and is the most beautiful female since Audrey Hepburn. Her regalness just takes one’s breath away, and she is, by far, the most balletic on the ice.

I feel bad saying this, but the one weak link is Jennifer Robinson, a Canadian with whom only the most serious of skating fans are familiar. She’s not so much a “star on ice” as “someone who’s competed internationally on ice.” The choreographers give her the cutest number to compensate, “I Don’t Want To Show Off” from Broadway’s fabulous “The Drowsy Chaperone,” but there’s just nothing special about her.

I’ve never been a fan of her countrymen, Sale and Pelletier, either, but everyone else seems to be. They do have some powerful moves, though, and I enjoyed their numbers enough.

But the former National Champion pairs team of Kyoko Ina and John Zimmerman stole the show. Their second act routine to Janis Joplin’s “Little Piece Of My Heart” was truly phenomenal! The audience went wild. I wrote last week that when they skate, I notice only Johnny Z, since I have a major crush on him (which Mr. X is cool with, as he is with all my fake crushes, which is the sign of rightfully secure man), but, as I told John after, in this number, I definitely noticed Kyoko, as well. She is as fearless as he is hunky. And that’s saying something!
karen_skateplus1Now, to my favorite part–meeting John after. I’ve actually met him before, but five years ago, and briefly (in addition to the many times in my dreams.) When Michael Sterling re-introduced us after this performance, John couldn’t have been kinder or more attentive. (And believe me, I looked awful, as this picture will attest to, and he’s madly in love with his wife, so it was not a guy thing. He’s just a lovely person.) I didn’t remember him being so big off the ice. Five years must make a huge difference in a growing boy’s life! Who knew???

John spent a lot of time with us, which wasn’t necessary, but so appreciated. And took several pictures with me and even asked if they were okay, and if I wanted to take more! I could kick myself for saying that they were fine. I could have spent many more hours standing next to him, especially because he was kind enough to do poses with his arms around me. (I told him to just not lift me, to save himself from getting a hernia.) I love when an athlete, or any public figure, lives up to one’s expectations, and John Zimmerman far exceeded mine. I hope he and his wife have kids one day because I think he’ll be a fantastic father.

For those of you who care about just what’s on the ice, you’ll have a great time. Though there aren’t as many group numbers as there usually are in this show, the individual ones carry it through. And there are some special guest stars in various cities, so check out who’s coming to yours. We were lucky enough to see Ilia Kulik, who, amazingly, just gets better all the time. I don’t even see how that’s possible. And, though he’s married to Katya and they have two daughters, he still looks like he did when he won the Olympics nine years ago. I guess being so close to ice constantly preserves your looks. I guess I should have taken up skating ten years ago! (Or, as Mr. X says, instead of sunbathing.)

Stars On Ice various cities around the country www.starsonice.com

CHAMPIONS ON ICE

My favorite entertainment of the year is coming to Los Angeles this Memorial Day week-end. It’s Champions On Ice, the original ice show to feature all the skaters we’ve followed in recent years. I’m lucky enough to have seen this tour in New York last month, and it’s as fabulous as ever.

I brought along my friend, Lauren, and her husband and teen-age son. They were all the happiest to see Sasha Cohen, who’s even more amazing in person. They all are! If you’ve seen these unbelievable athletes only on TV, you can’t imagine what it’s like to experience them up-close and personal.

My faves are always the men. American Johnny Weir’s skating is breathtaking. He’s my favorite regular cast member. (There was one special guest star in the NY show who trumped all the regulars for me. More on that later.) In the second half, Johnny does a number with U.S. silver medalists in Ice Dance, Melissa Gregory and Denis Petukhov, that is one of the highlights of the show. Olympic champ Evgeni Plushenko is the most powerful force on skates. And watching 37-year-old 1992 Olympic Champion Victor Petrenko, who’s celebrating his record twentieth season with the show, do a routine with his nine-year-old daughter, Viktoria, who’s an exquisite skater herself, just puts a huge smile on your face.

Champions cast is made up of just that–mainly Olympic and World champions, with some National and Professional ones, as well. (For a complete list of skaters, go to their website below.) Now here’s my NY surprise:

The announcer was saying that the next couple had been five-time United States Dance Champions. Just when I was thinking that we’d already seen the current ones, he said the names of a duo who weren’t listed in the cast. It was my favorite skater of all time, Peter Tchernychev and his partner, Naomi Lang. I screamed so loud that the Collins brothers, who run the show, said they could hear me backstage. And I have a feeling they’re not just joking.

Karen and Ice Dancer, Peter Tchernychev. She's in shock because Peter has his arm around her!

Karen and Ice Dancer, Peter Tchernychev. She's in shock because Peter has his arm around her!

Not only is Peter probably the most gorgeous male I have ever seen in my life (this picture, and every other one I’ve seen of him, doesn’t come close to doing him justice), but his skating is mesmerizing. I don’t breath the whole time he’s on the ice. Many commentators I’ve listened to over the years say he’s the greatest male ice dancer of all time. I can only compare it to seeing Baryshnikov perform ballet.

And, to make matters worse for womankind (and their boyfriends), he pays close attention when he talks to you and looks at you so intently with those gorgeous greenish-yellow eyes, that you can’t help but believe he’s in love with you, (which, of course, he can’t be with everyone, so maybe just me.) What a man!

I’m sure he doesn’t remember this, but I interviewed him in the Press Room at the 2002 nationals that were held here in Los Angeles, at the Staples Center. My perspicacious question to him was, “Could you be any more gorgeous???” To which he answered, with a totally straight and apologetic face, “I’ll try.” So, he’s subtly humorous, too.

But enough about Peter because I don’t believe he’ll be appearing in LA., although you never know who’ll pop-up in each city, which is one of the beauties of Champions On Ice. So, I’ll just have to console myself with the also adorable and sexy Olympic Dance Champ from France, Gwendal Peizerat, whom I’ve also been known to stalk. And when you see him in this year’s show wearing just an open vest and no shirt, you’ll understand why. (Look for my Champions story from last year, listed in my archives as being on Nov. 28, though it’s from last August, for a picture of him.)

And for you folks who don’t really need to get into the personal lives of the cast and just want to see great skating, that’s all here, too. And the specialty acts, chronicled in my preview of the show (archived on April 2 under the heading of Recent Events), are even better than past years.

This show is so good that I’m going to try to see it on both SoCal dates. Unless they procure a restraining order against me beforehand, that is. Hope to see you there.

Champions On Ice
Honda Center Anaheim May 26, 3PM
Staples Center Los Angeles May 27, 3PM
www.championsonice.com

BROADWAY ON ICE

Dale Gonyea, Karen Salkin, Dorothy Hamill

Dale Gonyea, Karen Salkin, Dorothy Hamill

Though this isn’t quite in the “pampering yourself” category, it’s always fun to just sit back and watch others work. Especially when it’s something as beautiful and lively as this show. I first saw it a couple of Thanksgivings ago, with primarily the same cast. The format is very different from that of most skating shows, in that this one is done on a basic theatrical stage, as opposed to in an arena.

Also, Broadway on Ice has about 15 skaters, but only one star. On both of my visits, the beautiful Dorothy Hamill was it. It’s amazing how stunning her skating still is. Hopefully, those who see the show after Jan. 16 will be treated to her magnificence once more, but for now Dorothy has since taken a break from the tour to undergo treatment for breast cancer. Our thoughts and prayers are with her.

It’s not all bad news for the audiences, though, as she’s being temporarily replaced by fellow Olympic Gold Medalist, Brian Boitano, who should be an equal treat for ticket-holders. (Her usual replacement is Nancy Kerrigan, but she’s now very pregnant with her third child. Congrats to her and her agent hubby.)

One more note about Dorothy, before I move on to the show itself. When I was waiting for her after, (AND the brilliant comedian, Dale Gonyea; more on him in a sec), I was standing behind a young boy, who I assumed was waiting for an autograph. Then I noticed from behind that he was signing one. I didn’t remember someone so young being in the show, so I was curious for him to turn around. It was DOROTHY!!! How can someone look that good past 40?!

Now, back to the show. What it is is skating to Broadway show tunes, with colorful costumes and lighting. It’s great to see skating so up-close and personal like that. Most of the music is piped-in, but each stop has a live singer who’s appeared on Broadway. We got Franc D’Ambrosio, who’s done “Phantom” a time or 2. (Or 1,200!) He wasn’t my favorite, but the rest of the audience seemed to love him. (Oh, I saw it when it was here in SoCal at the end of December, at the Thousand Oaks Theatre.)

As much as I love skating, the highlight for me, both times I saw it, was definitely Dale Gonyea. They roll him out on a platform with his piano in the second act, and then we all just sit back and roll with laughter for the next 20 minutes. This guy is brilliant! He’s funny, talented, plays the piano beautifully (his serious rendition of “Rhapsody In Blue” is a show-stopper), has a warm, welcoming singing voice, and is adorable, too. (He even says his nephew thinks he looks like Harry Potter. Great observation!)

His act is comedy, with piano, singing (all original lyrics, and new ones for each city played! How does he do it??), and red sequined sneakers. That last part hits me where I live. (I have a whole sequined sneaker collection, form my more colorful days.) I wonder if Dale is a water sign because he’s always performing on ice and the ocean. (He does a lot of cruise ships concerts.)

All in all, the Broadway On Ice is about two hours of pure relaxation and enjoyment. Everyone leaves the theatre upbeat and happy. I wish all forms of entertainment were this successful.

Broadway On Ice www.broadwayonice.com

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