GRAMMYS 2012 MUSINGS

 

The second I heard, on Saturday afternoon, that Whitney Houston had just died, I said, “Oh my God, I was just reading about how good she looks!,” followed immediately by, “Oh no–it’s Clive Davis‘ big Grammys party in a few hours!” The whole thing is just so sad and shocking. But, if we want to find one glimmer of non-pain in it, it’s that she went out in true diva style—at the hotel that party was in, the day before the telecast itself. Wow. Way to go.

Everyone was commenting on what bad timing it was, but seriously, it’s perfect timing. This way, all her colleagues are already gathered together and there will be an immediate (translate to “real,” or “truly heartfelt”) tribute. Everyone’s emotions will be raw and real and true, making for electric entertainment. What a way for the biggest diva of all time to go out. [On a personal note—Mr. X said it reminded him of what we were going through, losing my mother on Christmas day. Everyone said that now she’ll be remembered specifically on Christmas, which is also a diva move, one, of course, I didn’t appreciate at the time.]

So, the big topic on Sunday was, of course, Whitney’s passing. I feel bad ragging on any part of the day, but we each have our cross to bear. So, here are some of my Grammys musings, tempered through sadness.

Mr. X and I didn’t see much of the red carpet arrivals, (reason below,) but I’m glad that we heard LL Cool J speak twice. He explained the producers’ thoughts on how to handle Whitney’s passing, without totally depressing everyone. I love that guy. He’s actually very articulate, and explained the situation perfectly. But, of course he’s great!—We have the same January 14th birthday!

Chris Harrison, the host of the TV Guide Channel’s pre-show coverage, is an idiot, who got everything wrong, and worse, but my heart’s just not into handing-out that many dressing-downs this year, (though I’ll try to muster-up a few.)

Speaking of TV Guide Channel, they were ruining all the surprises! That’s the best part of the Grammys show! If the producers didn’t want to have surprises, they would release the set lists!

So, after trying to watch that channel for awhile, we switched over to E’s coverage, which wasn’t much better. So, we gave up entirely and just waited for the show to begin.

Here are my thoughts on it, as it unfolded: [Note: some musings are about things that happened for just a sec, but I’m still including them, in case you haven’t watched the Grammys yet, and want little things to look out for.]

It was perfect that LL offered a prayer for Whitney at the beginning of the show. Well done. Smart move. But what about everyone’s make-up??? I know that mine was a mess from the emotion of the moment.

I sure hope that Nicki Minaj was holding Taylor Swift‘s hand in the audience, because otherwise she was really invading her proximity zone!

Bruno Mars’ James Brown act was so fun, even though I hated that song, Runaway Baby.

Bonnie Raitt.

Bonnie Raitt–now there’s a singer! But change your ‘do already!!! The weird thing is that she always looked this old and weathered to me, since I was little.

Katy Perry looks like an oompa loompa with her bad orange-y make-up and blue-green hair.

Adele looked so pretty!!!

Chris Brown was fantastic!!! I love watching him dance. I hope this means that his past is his past.

Fergie sounds like Maya Rudolph imitating Madonna.

Mr. X and I love Reba McEntire. Who doesn’t? And we get a kick out of funny elf face. Mr. X said she looks like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady character a bit.

That was a good move of Kelly Clarkson to cover her weird satyr-esque butt.

(Okay, now I’m warmed-up!)

What happened at the end of Kelly’s duet with Jason Aldean? They just aborted and started laughing before the band ended.

Dave Grohl finished his number and just put his hand on his hips. Strange.

The show’s announcer promo-ed upcoming “fabulous” performances. What is she…a psychic??? (Apparently not because only the very end could be categorized as such.)

I wish they’d stop telling us that the next performance will be “a Grammy moment.” It’s for history to decide after, not beforehand, or because they tell us so.

Rihanna in one of my old get-ups!

Rihanna must have lost twenty pounds and looks sooooo much better. She was wearing one of my old club outfits–little shorts, tights, and dance boots. I love it!

But there was no reason to put her together with Coldplay. It was stupid. They performed together for just a second as a bridge between their two separate, and unrelated, numbers. I was nervous during her whole performance that Coldplay was going to come in and ruin her song because of the way it was presented.

Also, in their imaginary dance-off, (in my head, and perhaps in the minds of others,) Chris Brown beat her by a mile.

The producers should not have had some weirdo chick, who always has dirty hair, who most of us don’t know, presenting with the world champion New York Giants!!! [Note: I looked her up after, and it seems she’s appeared on NCIS: Los Angeles, so her cast-mate, LL Cool J, must have hooked her up. And, it’s a CBS show, which is what the Grammys are on.]

I just don’t get the Foo Fighters‘ music, but people seem to love them. And I loved Dave Grohl’s acceptance speech about making music. It was the best one all night. I can’t believe they cut him off, though! I think it was just a mistake, but still.

What was Ryan Seacrest‘s hair doing??? It was that Bruno-Mars-as-Sal-Mineo-short-guy-trying-to-be-taller ‘do.

I loved seeing the Beach Boys back together, starring my neighbor Brian Wilson. I love him. He’s actually a sweet guy. And a genius, of course, but that should go without saying.

Has Lady Gaga ever had a natural moment? She was trying to groove to the Beach Boys, but seemed so self-conscious in her weird get-up that she looked like she had no rhythm. And she should have adjusted her outfit to the more somber occasion and saved this Gloria Swanson one for another night. She looked like an idiot this time rather than an innovator.

Mike Love seemed like an insecure old man on the walk-in show, but was so in-charge and comfortable on stage.

I love that the young people in the audience had such awe in their eyes watching the Beach Boys.

I also love that Stevie Wonder just has to produce at least a little bit of music whenever he appears anyplace. That’s a true musician.

But he said “new standard,” which is an oxymoron.

I can’t believe that I still love Paul McCartney so much. He was probably my second crush in life, and he’s still going strong. (Although my guy crush has ended, my music one has endured.) I actually never thought about his voice before ever in my whole life! I just always loved the man himself, his looks, (back then,) and his music. But his new romantic song was fantastic because his voice was so beautiful! I’m thrilled to see him happy again after his last romantic debacle. But his wife’s outfit sucked!

Tarajie P. Henson always tries too hard.

I’m glad that people are being nice to, and about, Chris Brown again. Diana Ross even looked happy for him.

Has anyone ever seen the guy from the folk duo The Civil Wars with Weird Al Yankovic?

That was the prettiest Taylor Swift has ever looked! I think it’s because she finally had eye-liner on the bottom. But she was surprised again by the applause, which Jimmy Fallon parodied so effectively on his post-Superbowl special.

Adele was really working that gum! She’s adorable, though.

What was Kate Beckinsale doing on the show? She’s not in the music biz and doesn’t have a CBS series. Heck, I don’t even think she has a film out now! And she’s not a major movie star, so I just don’t get it. But she’s gorgeous and seems lovely.

Katy Perry. Gee, I wonder where her crotch is!

Katy Perry has a bad body. And I don’t know why was she featuring her weird crotch area.

And, I thought her divorce was supposed to be so amicable, and her idea, to boot, yet she was singing a song that seemed obviously pointed towards an unsupportive spouse. So, what gives?

Blake Shelton loves himself a chubby woman! (I’m glad to see that some guys do!) I like Miranda Lambert, but I never realized she has a munchkin talking voice. It was weird to have her present the award in her husband’s category. (Which he didn’t win, by the way. He would have had a fun speech if he had, so I was rooting for him.)

Two hours into the show, they all seemed to have forgotten about Whitney, which was a good thing. But that also meant that they’d be bringing the room down later.

You know, if Whitney hadn’t died, everyone would have been talking smack about her all this week. You know I’m right. I hate that about people.

Adele’s eyes and nose are gorgeous!!! And I love hat she didn’t change her outfit or hair or anything to perform. [Note: I actually have to check the tape on that one. I’ve seen pix of her in what look three different black dresses now, so maybe they just fooled me by the same-ness.]

I love Blake Shelton. I just hope that love won’t prove to be misplaced down-the-line. He’s tall, cute, and funny. And can sing and play. And has a cute body. And loves his wife! What’s not to love about him???

Carrie Underwood was not a good choice to sing with Tony Bennett. He needed more of a singer. And I hadn’t realized she was such a dentalizer! She actually called him “Tony Bennis!”

Best New artist winner Bon Iver gave such a nice down-to-earth speech. He appears to be a sincere and regular person.

I hate when they play off musicians who are giving speeches. There’s just something rude about that.

Jennifer Hudson was so great that I waited until the end of her performance to mention that her wig outline was showing. (And her underwear was leaving bulge marks. Sorry—I just can’t help myself.) She was truly wonderful. And whipped-up that performance in less than twenty four hours!

It’s eerie that the show was two and half minutes “light” when Whitney died. The producers were trying to fill them! Wow.

Why wasn’t Don Cornelius in the In Memoriam segment??? Maybe it was because it was a suicide. At least they mentioned him in the next segment on dance music, but it still doesn’t seem right.

I can only “imagine” the dance moves in the dance music segment, (where they kept singing “imagine,”) because they sure didn’t show us any! And what was Dave Grohl doing in it???

Here are two inanities from the show announcer: “Everyone will be talking about” Nicki Minaj’s performance. How does she know??? You can’t just make declarations like that! And “be the first to know” who won something. How??? We’re all finding out together!!! I hate idiotic statements like that.

Yeah, we’ll be talking about Nicki’s performance, all right—about how dreadful it was! And how inappropriate. At least it prevented any discussion about if she got screwed out of New Artist.

Love Adele, especially for the “snot” line.

I feel bad saying this to LL, but the Beatles line is the love you take, not get.

Excellent closing.

I love seeing Paul have such a great time!

And the dueling guitars was wonderful. One of only three special moments in the whole show. So, the Bruce Springsteen beginning and Paul McCartney ending were the best, with Jennifer Hudson doing her part in the middle. The rest was mostly a snoozefest.