So, tomorrow, Christmas Day, will be exactly four years since my mother left this earth. It feels like a much shorter period of time because I feel her presence so often. As a psychic told me to do that year, I talk to her picture all the time, and I swear, I can feel her answering back, smiling, or even rolling her eyes at me. (Especially rolling her eyes at me!)

hellas-multimedia-free-christmas-clip-artBut, as easier as it’s getting for me, I still can’t bring myself to really “do” Christmas, which has been my favorite holiday since I began celebrating it when I moved to LA as a teen-ager. I still love all my holiday tchotchkes, but haven’t brought them out since that horrible day in 2011.

This year has been made a bit easier, though, thanks to some good pals. Curtis was kind enough to bring us an official Charlie Brown tree. Mr. X and I already had one somewhere in the house, from years past, but weren’t going to put it out. The one that Curtis brought us is even better than our old one. It has an official Peanuts ornament. And the best part is that it plays an abbreviated version of the official Charlie Brown Christmas theme song! I put it near my little mo’s picture, so she can enjoy it, too. (I swear–it think I see her smiling bigger in the pic now!)

My bad photo of the tree and lights.  But you can see how special it all is, can't you?  Photo by Karen Salkin.

My bad photo of the tree and lights. But you can see how special it all is, can’t you? Photo by Karen Salkin.

Then Alice gave us an adorable delicate string of lights, perfect for this tree. (But we like the green tube it came on, so we left it on there, as opposed to on the tree.) And they’re on a little timer, so when I wake-up from an afternoon nap, my tiny display is already on, twinkling away. It makes the holiday so much easier for us; we didn’t have to take responsibility, and it wouldn’t be nice to ignore such kind gifts now, would it?

I always love seeing the colorful holiday displays at malls, so it’s been a fight with myself. I want to see them, but am still a bit angry at Christmas. I had to go to a mall last week to shop for an outfit for a fancy holiday function, and now that I can’t wear heels for awhile longer, I had some serious shopping to do! Despite my conflicting feelings towards this whole holiday season, I lost myself in the beautiful decorations and music. I even wore red and green, and busted out the Christmas jewelry and socks! Heck, I even did my nails in red with silver sparkly accent nails. (A gent at the fete asked me, “Did you run out of red?” That made me laugh out loud. Clever.)

So, slowly, very slowly, I’m getting back into the holiday spirit again. It may still take a few more years, but, with the kindness of friends like the ones above, I’m getting there.

I hope you are already there, and I wish all who celebrate a very Merry Christmas.


1 Comment

  1. Whenever you look at your little Charlie Brown tree, just remember Linus’ observation because it works for people too: “Maybe it just needs a little love.”

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