LEANN RIMES AND EDDIE CIBRIAN

The test I had to take to get my writing job at People.com a few years ago involved paring down a long magazine article about LeAnn Rimes, someone I knew little about back then. I got the gig, so I’ve felt a slight kinship to her since then.

I don’t know her personally, nor her boyfriend Eddie Cibrian, although he did try to take one of my club nights away from me a decade ago when I was a club promoter and he was a soap actor trying to be a promoter, which is so backwards if you ask me, but way off this topic, which is: Leave these two alone already!

If, God forbid, Mr. X left me for someone else, yes, I would be heartbroken. But if it was because he had fallen in love with her, and wasn’t with me anymore, I’d realize that there’s nothing I could do, and I’d just say “oh well.” You wish circumstances hadn’t changed, but they have, so why want to keep someone who loves someone else?

The thing about this story that bothers me the most is that so many people have to put their nasty two cents in. How is it anybody’s business except for that of those four families? It’s definitely not up to complete strangers to get so mean and righteous about it. That’s why I feel it’s time for me to chime in–because if I read one more article ostracizing them, I’m going to explode.

Yes, they did cheat on their spouses by getting together while still married to others, though none of us really know if they slept together back then. So, they were cheaters in the beginning, most likely. But now, I don’t feel that they’re still “cheaters,” per se. Rather, they’re two people who fell in love and the rest came from there. (I always feel that classic “cheating” is just screwing around outside the marriage, with no real attachment, or at least no plans to leave one’s spouse.)

When there’s real love behind it, with intent to wind-up together pretty quickly, what can you do? I really don’t know how this works, but I can’t imagine that it’s easy to leave your spouse for someone you haven’t known that long. It’s a major life change, and I really can’t imagine that anyone would take that lightly, especially when there are children involved, as in Eddie’s case.

Not that looks are the main factor in choosing a mate, but the weird thing, to me, is that Eddie left his attractive, although plastic-surgeried-out, wife for little squinty-eyed LeAnn–it usually goes the other way. That should show people he’s in love with LeAnn right there!

And here’s an interesting point–back in the day, I was always so against splitting-up for someone else. I was almost militant about it. But then I came to my senses and realized that being in love is an entity totally different than just banging someone outside the marriage, which is what I think the majority of cheating consists of. (Pardon my description, but I think it makes my point.)

And in the case of these two, they didn’t even have to begin as cheaters–they were already making-out in the television movie they met on, so I’m assuming it went from there. They didn’t have to make the decision to get physical–they already were! What can you do?

Here’s my example of leaving someone for someone else when it matters: years ago, a cute friend of mine’s husband left her…for her best friend! While that basic scenario was disgusting, he wasn’t in love with my friend anymore, and was madly with in love with her friend. (My pal always put the two of them together for events, when she was busy, and made it the three of them hanging-out for dinners, etc. They just got too close that way.)

Now, many years later, while I still don’t condone stealing your best friend’s husband, I do believe that the new duo were meant to be together. It’s been well over a decade now and they’re still going strong, with several children. And, though it took about a year to heal, my pal has moved on so much that it’s almost hard to remember that she was married to the guy back in the day.

I think everyone’s problem with the LeAnn issue is that we feel bad for the spouses left behind. But would they really want someone to stay with them when he or she is in love with another? What point is there in that? As long as it’s done relatively peacefully, with lots of notice, I have to stick-up for the feelings of the lovers. (Ugh–I hate that word.)

So, let’s either be happy for them, as I am, or sad for the spouses left behind, as I also am. But, put yourself in the places of LeAnn and Eddie, and I think you’ll give them a bit more understanding. At the very least, please just go back to judging people you know personally.