HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MR. X AND ME!!!

Mr. X and I are pretty private, unless there’s something funny to tell about our relationship. But, though we’ve been known to be romantic, (you should see his amazingly well-planned-out Christmas presents to me!,) we’re never mushy. We rarely celebrate Valentine’s Day and even more rarely, our anniversary.

Because our relationship went through many phases at the beginning, (and still!,) we don’t have an actual “anniversary.” We just always count when I went to his house one day and never left! I’m the first one to admit it took me awhile to “get him,” which he says makes him feel like something out of Wild Kingdom.

To commemorate our anniversary, which we count as July 7, here are some of my favorite comments Mr. X has made on our relationship:

Once, when I was trying to be serious about our first meeting, I asked him to guess what I thought when I first saw him, and he guessed, “How quickly can I get that head on my wall?” Hmmm. He knows me too well.

One day, I was pouring my heart out to him about how I fell in love with him because he was so talented, and saying that I didn’t even know yet that he’s the funniest person there is or that he can dance, sing, and play instruments. Then I said, “Okay, now you tell me the story of how you fell in love with me,” to which he answered, “Ill let you know when that happens.” We had been together for many years at that time. Can you see why I love the guy?

People always ask if we’re married, living together, or just dating. His answer? “It’s a hostage situation.” I’m afraid I can’t even say that he’s wrong.

I once asked if he really doesn’t love me, then why doesn’t he just leave? He said, without skipping a beat, “Your will is too strong.” That it is, folks, that it is.

When we’re asked how long we’ve been together, I answer, “We’ve been together for a hundred years.” He says, “We went out for three weeks and we’re just having a long break-up.”

I asked him, “If you die first, and look down, and see me with another guy, will it be okay?” He came back with, “Well, let me ask you this–will I already have been buried?” Good question, actually.

But the best one ever was this one, but within the story, I have to tell you something that a guy said good me about once, because it’s the basis of the story. So please forgive me on this one. Remember–I didn’t say it, a guy I know did. Here it is: A not-very-supportive pal and I were at a party a few years back, and we were hanging out with several people I knew. One handsome man was telling the assemblage that his wife knew he had a crush on me, and that all the guys did. (The operative word here being “did.” Trust me.) So, when the pal was dropping me off, she very rudely asked, “Why do you think it is that guys like you, Kar? Do you think it’s your chest?” Since I’ve always disguised it, I knew that wasn’t it, but I didn’t have an answer. And her insensitive question really bothered me. When I told Mr. X of her rude query, he quickly stated, “I know exactly why guys like you.” Preening all the way, I excitedly said, “You do???” To which he gave me the supreme answer, “They don’t know you that well.” I swear, that’s my favorite comment of his of all time!

In case you’ve seen me out and about without him, it’s because he rarely goes to events, period. (Unless they involve krump dancing, that is.) Just recently, I told him that if he leaves this earth before I do, to please come back as a ghost, and we’ll just hang in the house. And then we laughed because that’s essentially what we do now! And it’s exactly how we’re going to be celebrating our anniversary today. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!