SUPER BOWL LIV 2020

I’m so happy that the Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl!  What a incredible end to the 100th NFL season. (Especially since the Chiefs founder and original owner, Lamar Hunt, is the one who coined the term “Super Bowl!”)

I rooted for both teams throughout the play-offs, so this one was a tiny tad hard for me. But I did root for the Chiefs here for several reasons, mainly because of how sadly they had lost to the Patriots at the last minute in the penultimate playoff game last year, which meant that this year marked their first trip to the Super Bowl. (A previous Chiefs team had made it there fifty years ago, but that was not this group, obviously, and not this coach, Andy Reid, for whom I, along with most football fans, was really rooting.)

I like certain players on both teams, (and dislike three on the San Fransisco 49ers—one for being a Trump-er and two for being bullies, in general,) but I really, really wanted the Chiefs to win for the above-mentioned getting-up-there-in-age coach, Andy Reid.

So, even though it was a long road to get there, (I watched every second of Fox’s all-day coverage, with an hour of ESPN in the early morning thrown in for good measure,) with the Chiefs exciting win in the last seven minutes of the game(!,) I ended the day on a high note.

And now I can finally share my thoughts on all the Super Bowl LIV coverage with you! (In sections, of course.)

PRE-GAME COVERAGE

I’m all for equality of the sexes in all walks of life, but I hate that sports now feel that they have to include women, even when it’s a male sport, so they hire females as anchors of sports commentary shows. It’s just ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, the Fox hostess, Charissa Thompson, looked like an idiot. What a creepy outfit she was wearing. It looked like it was two sizes too big for her, with an even worse fashion faux pas–her pants legs were dragging on the ground! How did she, nor anyone behind the scenes, not know enough to remedy that situation?! As I said—ridiculous.

And she could not pronounce “poet laureate.” Oysh.

And you know I love a nude lip like no other, but here’s a newsflash for all these women–it does not look good on TV!!! (No one needs to go bright, either, like Jenna Dewan usually does. Just find the correct in-between. As a veteran of hundreds of hours on TV myself, I promise—it’s not that hard to do.)

There were only two major positives for me in all of the six and a half hours of pre-game coverage. First is that they did a short feature on Chiefs player, Dr. Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, perhaps the most impressive person to ever play pro football! Besides that he allowed the third fewest sacks this season, he’s…a full doctor! He not only is an MD, but he also has a Masters in surgery!!! OMG! (And, almost equally impressive, to me, at least, is that in the off-season two years ago, he was a commentator on the Winter Olympics for his native Canada!!! What a man.)

The other positive was actually the first thing that choked me up all day, (even though it happened at the end of that very lengthy pre-game coverage.) It was when centenarian Col. Charles McGee, of the Tuskegee Airmen, brought out the coin for the coin toss. That was beautiful.

The opposite of beautiful were these three occurrences:

Just as I was being happy that I didn’t have to see nebbishy Cooper Manning, or his rotten sexual molester brother Peyton, anywhere this year, they did a real waste-of-time stupid feature…about nothing. Idiotic.

And, it was absolutely offensive that they included wife-killer, thief, and liar OJ Simpson in their “hundred greatest players of all time.” And, to me, (and to the families of the two men he helped kill,) Ray Lewis should not have been in there, either. (You already know how I feel about Peyton Manning. If you do not, just search for him, and the others, in the two “search” boxes in this e-zine.)

Actually, that whole “hundred players” segment was done poorly—not at all in the classy and emotional manner in which MLB had presented their “All-Century Team” at their All-Star game in 1999. (I cried so hard when eighty-year-old almost-immobile Ted Williams went out, in a golf cart, to throw the ceremonial first pitch, my six-year-old best bud I was watching it with felt the need to call Mr. X and report me for “turning into a sissy!”) At this NFL rendition, they didn’t even mention the names of the honorees—they just showed their names on the screen, giving not a thought to their visually-impaired “listeners.” Rude. To everyone involved.

THE GAME ITSELF

This game got very exciting in the fourth quarter. In the final seven minutes, to be exact! OMG. I still have no idea how the Chiefs won at that point! I was pretty much giving-up before they got that very last touchdown!

I still can’t believe they won! But I should have been a believer after their two previous playoff games. As a matter of fact, when they went down by ten to the Niners in the fourth quarter, one of the announcers, either Joe Buck or Troy Aikman, said of the Chiefs, “They have them right where they want them!” It was a joke, but very prophetic.

Two minutes is such a long time when the team you’re rooting against has the ball, and never enough time when your team has it. Trust me on that–I was sweating-out the uber-long two of this Super Bowl!

But I’m so glad it went my way.

And, by the way, Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is the man!!!

HALFTIME SHOW

I’m so glad that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira are getting lauded today for their spectacular Halftime Show! It seems that in recent years, no one receives major props for their time in that hot slot. But these ladies deserve the love because they put on quite the display. Even usual naysayer Mr. X declared this to be“the greatest halftime show ever!!!”

And it probably was.  Although I’m still partial to Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson’s nipple in 2004. We both jumped off the couch screaming because it was so unexpected. And I adored Bruno Mars (who was a “guest” of Coldplay) in 2014, and Justin Timberlake again in 2018. [Note: The halftime shows did not start featuring hip music until the early ’90s. Before then it was most often marching bands and occasionally the nerds of all nerds, Up With People!]

I didn’t know that Shakira was going to be half of it. The announcements always made it seem like she was going to just do a short guest spot, like the two male rappers, Bad Bunny and J Balvin, did. (By the way–they never even announced those guys’ names! Good thing I’m hip.) She was great.

They also never named the featured little girl, but I knew that she was JLo’s daughter, Emme. And that knowledge was only because A-Rod (Jen’s betrothed,) had said earlier that the only clue he could give is that the show would be “a family affair.” Emme was actually okay. (But I can’t wait until Jennifer starts making her get nose jobs, too, just like she herself has always done. I think she’s had three so far!) But I still love JLo; I think she’s the perfect show biz person. She has managed her career so perfectly. (Too bad she hasn’t done the same for other aspects of her multi-marriaged life!)

In their bending-over backwards to make it basically an all-female-performers evening, (outside of the unnamed male rappers,) from the beginning to end, (perhaps the producers of the Super Bowl were trying to make-up for something,) Yolanda Adams sang America the Beautiful and Demi Lovato did the National Anthem honors. They were both good enough, (especially Yolanda, of course,) but they both did that self-serving, Maya Rudolph-parodying style, of which Mr. X and I are definitely not fans. Still, there was nothing major for me to rag on, so good on them. (By the way—I could barely find any references to Yolanda Adams’ performance anywhere on the internet! I guess she’s too upstanding a citizen to merit attention. After the Los Angles Times’ full-length article about Demi Lovato’s song, and everything about it, down to her microphone color, this was their last line: “Her national anthem followed a reading of America the Beautiful by gospel singer Yolanda Adams.” Shame on them!)

THE COMMERCIALS

The commercials, which are mostly new ones, (for which companies pay close to a zillion dollars to have them debut on the Super Bowl,) were all basically very good this time. Shocking! [Note: Really, each thirty second spot costs close to six million dollars! So, yes, my zillion estimate is close.) I’m discussing them in the order that they aired:

The very first one, the long “Here’s to the next hundred” ad for the NFL itself, actually choked me up when the little kids ran into the stadium, followed by their “Here’s to the next hundred” sign appearing.

The one with Jason Momoa stripping-down his body and head to reveal he’s really a homely guy made us laugh. A lot. Good for him.

Was that commercial for Hulu an announcement from Tom Brady that he’s staying put in New England??? The announcers never discussed it when they came back to the game.

The NY Life one with all the Greek words for “love” was…lovely.

The Hyundai Sonata one, with celebs saying, “Pahk the cah,” (for “park the car,”) was a good one. I love when Rachel Dratch works!

Yet another good one was for Cheetos popcorn with MC Hammer. I love when he works, too!

But then there were several dumb ones in a row: one about an avocados shopping network with Molly Ringwald made me swear to never buy avocados again! And then the long drawn-out one about a cup that’s stolen from JLo—oysh. And the one with John Legend and his uber-annoying wife earned a double oysh from me!

But I’m glad that Mr. Peanut was re-born.  (Was that a reaction to Kobe Bryant’s tragic helicopter crash? Planters said then that they were pulling their ads where Mr. Peanut died, so is that what made them resurrect him? I seriously want to know.) When I ran for Sophomore President in High School, (and won, I might add!,) my posters featured Mr. Peanut (because he was the only one I could draw,) saying “I’m nuts for Karen for Sophomore President!” Not exactly my most clever slogan ever, but…it worked!

I adored the Doritos Cool Ranch one with Lil Naz X and Sam Elliott!

I’ve seen the movie Groundhog Day tons of times, but I still didn’t really get the Jeep commercial about it. Even with Bill Murray and two other cast members from the film. (And I had to just look-up what product it was even advertising, so that’s not good for them, even though the ad is being declared a “winner” today.)

FINAL THOUGHTS

All-in-all, this was a good Super Bowl day. (Except for the Niners and their fans.) I love that Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes became the youngest Super Bowl MVP in history, (after last year becoming the youngest player in history to win the overall MVP of the season!)

But how stupid was this?: The MVP voting, (which is open to the public,) began at…the beginning of the fourth quarter!!! That means that so much game was left to be played! Nobody should be voting on three quarters of a game. That was shameful. Thank goodness it worked-out correctly in the end. [Note: Many people feel that Damien Williams, who actually scored half of the Chiefs touchdowns, including the go-ahead one, should have won, and they may have a case. A slight one. I definitely respect that opinion. But I still think it’s rightly Mahomes.]

My last image, before I had to finally close-out watching it all, was of new Super Bowl-winning coach, Andy Reid, hugging everyone while not letting go of his wife’s hand! I really wanted him to give it up, to make all those embraces extra juicy, but I so respect how much he loves his wife and wanted her to be a part of his victory.

I just hope that next year’s Super Bowl can rival this one! (And that my team, the New York Giants, will be in it then. And win!)