BENCHMARK

On my last full day in Brooklyn at the end of March, I really hassled to go to this sort-of famous Park Slope cafe because I wanted to squeeze in one more Dine In Brooklyn lunch, and Benchmark’s menu for that event was one of the few I could find on-line. [Yeah, Brooklyn powers-that-be: please fix that situation for next year!] When my friend, and surrogate little sis, Betsy, and I got there, after driving through a dicey part of town like Thelma and Louise, we found-out that it’s the very same lunch menu they serve every day, and for two dollars less!!! There was no need to go there that week; we could have done it any time. So, I wasted a Dine In Brooklyn opportunity…and a lot of time that could have been spent on my Brooklyn house!

Some of the food was okay, some good, and some bad. (I’ll get to all of it in just a second.) But what really made the whole experience not the least bit fun was the horrible rude surly waitress. We could not believe how rude she was! She never asked if we needed our water refilled, and when we asked her, (very politely, I might add,) we had to wait a long time. She had already filled the bottle, but took her sweet time to bring it to us, even though we were the only two in the place!!! We saw her standing at the empty bar with the bottle, playing on her phone, whole we were sitting there, parched. (Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but we could have been for all she knew with the non-attention she paid us!)

Okay, here’s the skinny on the food:

The beef ribs appetizer I chose was all fat! It was truly disgusting. Betsy’s organic seasonal lettuces salad, despite the many ingredients of crisp yuca, radish confit, goat cheese, truffle vinaigrette, had no flavor whatsoever, except for the horrible pretentious radishes. Fun so far, eh?

We each had a burger and fries, which were good, though they would have both benefitted from…KETCHUP!!! Benchmark serves ONLY their own ketchup, which is just way too spicy for ordinary people… and me!!! I can understand an eatery wanting to serve a special signature condiment, but they at least also have to have the basic kind on-hand for us plebians! Come on, now! (I should have known something was up when they spelled it that crazy old-fashioned way, “catsup.” Yeech.)

The dessert we each had was actually excellent and appreciated, but it was described all wrong, so we got something other than what we had bargained for. It’s called “Chocolate3,” and is described thusly on the menu: Dark, Milk + White Chocolate Custards, Malt + Chocolate Cakes, Caramel Gelato. Before you read on, get that picture in your mind of what you’ll be getting. Ready? Okay, then read on to see what you indeed got.

I thought it would be a plate filled with three kinds of custards, two cakes, (all mini, mind you, so I wasn’t expecting a lot,) with a small scoop of gelato on the side. Yummy, right? Instead, it was a sherbet cup filled with all those ingredients smushed into one dish, to be eaten with a spoon. You can’t distinguish any of those promised tidbits because it’s just a mish-mash. Granted, it did taste weirdly good, but it’s not at all as portended.

So, there you have it.  Even with the good burgers and kind-of interesting interior, I would just never be attracted to paying a return visit to Benchmark, especially with all the wonderful choices to dine in Brooklyn nowadays.