CHARLIE’S PANTRY

 

Mr. X and I have a new week-end ritual. It goes like this: I wake-up early and ask to go out to breakfast. He, who hates “wasting” time in a restaurant, immediately says no. Then I start singing Minnie Riperton’s Loving You, and in about three seconds, he says okay, let’s go to breakfast. My singing is that bad.

Then he jumps up and is ready in a matter of minutes, and says we could go, but that I‘ll never be ready in time. So I tell him to give me just a very few minutes, and I jump up, throw on God knows what, brush my teeth and hair, (barely, on the hair,) and rush out the door. And then we commence my favorite activity and his most detested—Quest For Food.

On one such recent Sunday morning, I knew that he really didn’t have time to do that, so I suggested we just go to the near-by Charlie’s Pantry in the Beverly Glen Center. I knew I wasn’t a fan, but it was the only place that seemed to fit all bills at that moment.

But here is his review: “That experience was a total zero. What a dud. It’s very disappointing because the location and outside atmosphere are so perfect. But the food had no taste.”

He even had to put salt on his omelette, which he’s probably never done in his entire adult life!

I had been there before with a friend for lunch, and didn’t like my sandwich then, either. And I remember there being some mix-up about it, and the girls behind the counter were rude, and that whole experience was a mess. I had brought Mr. X a sandwich back then, and he said it was tasteless, just like his omelette last week.

But, I didn’t remind him of the previous experience because every time we’re in that area for their Saturday Farmer’s Market, Charlie’s Pantry seems full, so I figured our first failure with their fare was just a fluke. But when we got there on this particular summer Sunday, we realized that it was basically all a façade. Yes, the patio tables are always taken, but there really aren’t that many of them. And then when you go inside, the entire place is empty! So it’s not like people are exactly clamoring to get in.

Mr. X, never a nit-picker, even asked how this place is open!

It’s such a shame, too, because the location is a lovely spot, and in such a hip area, and so convenient to us; I’m really disappointed, as well.

Now to the food. Mr. X ordered a plain basic omelette, but what came to the table was a spinach omelette. When he was a quarter of a way through, the girl came over and said that they had made a mistake and given him someone else’s spinach omelette! What if he had been allergic to spinach?! What would they have done then? It was also filled with onions, which he doesn’t like, but then she said that the basic omelette is full of onions, too, so he just said what the heck, and scarfed it down to fill his stomach and get out of there.

Their breakfast menu is weak, so I just wanted bacon and potatoes. But the girl gave me a heads-up that their potatoes are nothing special and not worth ordering, which I really appreciate on her part. The only other thing they had that interested me was a crêpe with apples and… Swiss cheese! I know–I should have gone with that because it’s at least different, but the girl really warned me away from that, as well.

She told me the best thing on the breakfast menu is the chicken and mushroom crêpe, so that’s what I went with. But I cannot even express to you how nothing it was. It’s not that it was disgusting or awful; it just had absolutely no taste. Mr. X said the food was so bland it was like for geriatrics or dieters. Yeah, this was diet food to me, because I couldn’t eat it!

I had to add the onions that Mr. X picked out of his omelette to my beyond-tasteless crepe, but even they couldn’t give much flavor to this mess. (This shows you how desperate I was to get some taste going because, as most of you already know only too well, I absolutely detest e-words, and some of those were still clinging to the onion pieces when they entered my crêpe!) (Thank goodness for me, though, even the e-words were tasteless!!!)

But almost even worse than the tastelessness was the nothing presentation. I wish I had taken pictures for you guys. But I just wouldn’t think to take a picture of a basically blank plate! I mean seriously, Charlie’s Pantry chefs, could you add a couple of slices of strawberry to the plate? Or even a sprig of parsley? How about a carrot shaving, perhaps? College cafeteria food is several steps up from these visuals!

So there you have it. The girls behind the counter were at least nice this time, and when the one taking our order saw the big tip Mr. X left on the receipt, she practically screamed-out, “Wow!” So she did come over a few times, and asked if we needed anything. But all we really needed was a different place to eat breakfast.