This will be a quickie because there’s not that much to say on the topic. But I started thinking about this conundrum recently when I saw something on TV about dog adoptions.

A few of the possible fees when adopting a pet.

Basically, people and organizations admonish potential pet owners that they should adopt rather than buy their new little pal. I’ve always thought that sounded like the kind thing to do, but I never gave it more consideration than that.

But then it hit me—when you adopt a dog, you have to pay a bunch of fees, which people have told me can run into the hundreds of dollars, so that means that you’re basically buying a dog anyway! (Those fees usually include spaying or neutering, microchipping, a general exam at a veterinarian, and all of the animal’s basic shots.)

If only pet shops looked this cute.

And then there’s this fact that never occurred to me before, nor, apparently, to anyone else: the animals from a store or breeder, who wind-up not bought, then become…the new homeless ones! So they either go up for adoption themselves, or even worse, are euthanized!

So whether you buy or adopt, it doesn’t lessen the number of animals in the world. It’s just a matter of math!

On a side note, I’ve had only two dogs in my life, both with Mr. X. I’m sure that viewers of my former TV show, Karen’s Restaurant Revue, remember my precious Clarence, The Singing Dog. He was much more popular than I was. And I hope that long-time viewers also have fond memories of my original co-star—my beloved Bud, The Wonder Dog. (He didn’t sing, but he was the most adorable little creature who ever lived. And he was kind, which is a weird trait for a dog; he was always happy to go to other people to cheer them up. I even took him to retirement homes occasionally. But I secretly adored that Clarence didn’t want to even talk to anyone who wasn’t me. Unless they were carrying some meat in their pocket, of course.)

Photos of Bud, The Wonder Dog, taken by Angie Dickinson, who also framed them together, making this display one of my favorite gifts of all time.

I was truly the luckiest girl in the world to have loved those two now-angels. (I still do, of course.) And Mr. X and I bought them both; Bud from an upscale (if there’s such a thing) pet shop, and Clarence from a breeder, (which, trust me, did not look better than a pet shop, on any level! We had done tons of research before we chose one, but the place was still gross!)

I’m sure we would have fallen madly in love with any toy poodles we would have wound-up with, as most everyone does with their own pets. But the point of this article is my original premise that made me want to write it to begin with: Adopting a pet instead of buying one doesn’t lessen the number of animals in the world.

Karen Salkin and her precious Clarence, The Singing Dog. Photo by Mr. X. (Who else would be around when these guys are napping?)

However, this discussion of adoption versus purchasing doesn’t really apply to me—it’s been several years since Clarence went to the next level of life, and the few times I’ve asked Mr. X if he’d like another dog, he queries back, “Is there one who doesn’t die?” So that’s the end of that for us. But for the rest of you, I’m not judging, not even a little bit. I’m just giving us all something to think about.

And if anyone can explain how the pet population is decreased if a pet is adopted instead of being purchased from a breeder or store, please enlighten all of us in the Comments section below. I’d love to understand the concept.

I’m sorry that it’s taken me a week to weigh-in on the proceedings; it’s taken me a while to process it all. (And truth be told, to watch it all!!! It was a lot. And I think all the food I made for the occasion exhausted me.)

But then I realized that today is actually the perfect time to share my thoughts on King Charles’ Coronation because it’s the day after Mother’s Day, and I keep thinking of just how proud Queen Elizabeth would have been of her son!

Beautiful image.

But no matter which day I’m sharing these thoughts, I can’t believe the Coronation of King Charles is already over! It has seemed so far away since the world lost Queen Elizabeth in September, and then last week, it felt like it was suddenly upon us!

All year, I kept cautioning myself to not be taken by surprise, and I even made mental notes for planning how Mr. X and I were going to watch it, (especially the menu, which I’ll regale you with a bit later on in this article. Jump to the end section if you just cannot wait for it.) And then Friday, May 5th, was here before I knew it. (Yes, I know the Coronation was technically on Saturday, even for us West Coast-er’s, but since the proceedings were beginning at our 1AM, I had to start preparing our feast early on Friday afternoon. And I had to get most of it done before my 4PM because the two NBA play-off games I was going to watch, of course, were starting then, and would command my full attention. Friday was a strange day, especially doing all that on only five hours sleep!)

I have just a few observations of the once-or-twice-in-a-lifetime Coronation to share.  Of course, I had more than a few during the proceedings, but since none of you are Mr. X, I don’t feel the need to foist them all on you. But here are the main ones:

THE ACTUAL CORONATION

First of all, congrats, (or whatever you’re supposed to say in this once-every-seventy-years situation,) to the new King and Queen. May they reign as wisely and kindly as Queen Elizabeth did.

King Charles’ official Coronation Portrait.

Secondly, I have to admit that I did get choked-up at just about every turn of the very varied happenings—the ceremony, the procession, the lawn salute from the troops, the balcony scene, and even the Coronation concert the next day!

I watched on BBC America, and was not thrilled with some of the Brits who spoke throughout the week-end; the older ones often seemed too low-key, and the younger ones were waaaaay too phony, with accents that could not be readily understood. Thank goodness for closed captions!!!

But the entire week-end made me feel a tad sad that I had turned-down several opportunities to have my own talk show in England way back in the day. I adore Brits, and the commentary of the coronation definitely needed me! (But my journey, or lack thereof, is a story for another day. Or another Coronation!)

As Charles and Camilla were on their way to the service in their golden carriage, I was overwhelmed with sadness that the Queen didn’t get to see this sight. (While she was on this level of life, that is; I believe that she did watch from above.) I know that she didn’t want to cede her reign or position to her son, which I understand, because she was confident in her own rule, but, as I said, I kept thinking of how proud she would be.

The procession featuring the golden carriage. Photo by Karen Salkin, as is the one at the top of this page.

It was weird that William and Kate and children arrived after the King! With communication being what it is today, I’m sure the people who ran the event knew they were just a few minutes away, and therefore, could have delayed the King a bit, so no one would notice the tardiness of the Wales’. Just sayin’.

Gorgeous illustration by Lucy Claire.

Those are some well-behaved children, by the way! When I was a teacher, I had kids of all the ages of George, Charlotte, and Louis, so I know of what I speak. I’m a fan of all three of them!

I didn’t know what was going on in the church, (or whatever that place is—how’s this for in-depth reporting?,) most of the time, but I do respect ceremonies like what was presented.

Mr. X was uber-impressed by the latter carriage that took the Royal couple to the palace, (or whatever that place is designated as, as well.) [Note, mainly to self: I guess I need to study-up on London edifices a bit.]

King Charles and his way too bushy brows! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I enjoyed all of the pomp and circumstance, of course, especially the colorful fly-over at the end of it all.

On a shallow note, why did absolutely no one–not even his wife, son, stylist, grandchildren, anyone—tell the King to cut down his eyebrows!!! They were awful! And very distracting. He’s always been sort-of a dandy dresser, so it seems like he would know enough to groom his looks, as well. He must have inherited Andy Rooney’s stylist!

ROYAL (OR NOT, ANYMORE) FAMILY

Shockingly, once I began watching the coverage of the historic event, I actually forgot all about Harry! After all that build-up and speculation and gossip stories, his presence there was just an afterthought.

As many of you may know, I absolutely detest what Harry has done to hurt his family at every recent turn, but it still broke my heart to see him there all by himself, and not enjoying the very special occasion with William and Kate, as he always used to do before his rotten wife came along and ruined his whole life for her own gain. It made me think even more than ever how different and better his life would be had he just met a wonderful woman, one classy enough to have been an asset to the Royals, as opposed to the gigantic detriment that she is. My only hope is that one of Harry’s children, whom he would not have without that evil Markle, grows up to cure cancer. Or something like that. Then all the pain he’s caused will have been worth it.

Harry in the middle of of the guests, looking forlorn and all alone.

On that same tack, that’s how I feel about the Charles and Camilla saga. They’re clearly each other’s true loves, so, despite being a Diana fan, I’m thrilled for the King and Queen that they did wind-up together. (If you missed it, I explained my philosophy on the topic right here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/karens-tipsupcomingevent-tips-on-watching-the-coronation-of-king-charles.) I sort-of hate that they had to waste so many years apart.  But had they wound-up together from the start, the world would not have William, Kate, or their adorable children. So I have to go with that it’s all good.

That’s Harry behind the red plume on Princess Anne’s chapeau! Many people got a kick out of his visage being obscured, which is what they want for him and his rotten wife to be.

Back to Harry a second. It was so hard to see all his cousins (and most of his aunts and uncles, too,) entering the chapel with his or her significant other and/or their families, and him be all alone. Yes, I am aware that he did this to himself, but he’s basically just a poor patsy. I hate that someone ruined his life like this, even though he was a willing participant. I’m glad he showed-up at his father’s Coronation, but I’m wondering why he did. What was his real impetus? Did he do it for his father, the Royal family, the world, or himself? He had to know he would feel out of place, but did he have a moment of clarity and realize that he would feel bad forever after if he did not make the effort? I’m convinced that he understood what his reception would be.

But his father recently said something to the effect that he was happy that “my darling boy” would be there, so I’m glad for the King that he did have that.

It’s now another shame that the entire family feels that they can’t ever talk to Harry in private again because their words will be twisted by him; there has to be a witness with them at all times. (To a degree, I understand how they feel because I once had a similar situation with someone. My friend (A) had a friend (B) who would always lie to A about anything I said.  So I decided to never again speak to B, so she could not change any of my words. A bit after that smart decision, B and I were, unfortunately, seated at the same table at an event. She kept trying to speak to me, but I just ignored her. When A asked me later why I wouldn’t talk to B, I explained that now B could report only that exact situation, that I would not talk to her, and not lie about what I had to say!)

And, as always, I loved Princess Kate and the kids throughout. And Prince William, too, of course.

THE CONCERT

I watched every second of the concert and surrounding coverage, of course, and I must say it was totally engaging. It was a very well-done event.

Yes, most of the music was a tad douchey, but I loved that they incorporated so many different disciplines, and Commonwealth people, into the show. And the ever-changing artwork at the top of the stage was all quite stunning. (I could have lived without seeing the incredibly hairy armpits of Mei Mac, the woman who performed Juliet, though, especially while I was enjoying my tea fare!)

Actress Mac Mei and her very hairy armipits! Photo by Karen Salkin.

But how ever did the Royal Box peeps see anything from that far back??? I didn’t notice any big screens anywhere on the premises.

I really do love those kids! I was never very into Charlotte before last week-end, but she appears to be very sweet.

I, (along with that entire English population,) am so glad it didn’t rain that night!

Now, let’s get to the most important topic of that event already: Is it possible that Lionel Richie’s awful voice was due to his gigantic cheekbone implants? Maybe they were getting in the way. And I’m not even joking. (I love that he said last week that he would never have plastic surgery!!! I guess he meant “any more” plastic surgery! Those suckers were sticking straight out there!!! They could have walked out on their own!)

Lionel Richie and his newly-puffy cheekbones. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I still don’t get why there were so many American performers. I understand Lionel and Katy Perry being there, because the organizers wanted their songs, (All Night Long and Firework, respectively,) but what was up with Nicole Scherzinger being on the bill? And singing a song, Reflection, that’s not even hers, and is from a fifteen-year-old Disney movie, to boot! (But her singing was the best of the concert.)

THE MENU FOR MR. AND MY CORONATION FEAST

This is actually the most important aspect of the Coronation, isn’t it? (When I showed a friend a picture of our entire food set-up, he said, “You didn’t have all this for just one meal, did you?!”)

So, of course, we didn’t finish it all during the actual Coronation, but I just wanted us to have the wonderful choices. And even though it wasn’t our afternoon in Los Angeles, the occasion called for a proper Afternoon Tea.

So here’s the list of what we dined on, most of which was made my moi! And I served it all on a four-tier stand, of course. (It’s usually served on three-tiered stands, not four, but I have an antique one from my mother, so I just made use of the top little bonus cup for my little bottles of clotted cream.)

The four-tier portion of the tea service. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The first course was tea sandwiches and savories. The finger sands were cinnamon cream cheese and walnuts on banana swirl bread. Yum! And I’m very proud of my other creation which I invented using little tidbits I had in the fridge. They were tiny blinis adorned with little slices of turkey and mozzarella with half a grape tomato on top, all held together by a toothpick, and heated up just a taste. I could have eaten a hundred of those!!!

Next came our favorites—the scones. I have to admit that I had help from Iveta scone mixes, which are soooo easy, rather than making them from scratch. And they’re soooo delicious, to boot! I chose Chocolate Chips ones, (which we’ve had many a time before, so we already knew we loved them,) along with their Maple ones, which were new to us, and we loved those almost as much. (My whole team is waiting to try some more of their many creative flavors soon, but two were enough for just Mr. X and me.)

We topped the scones with official clotted cream from the famous tiny jars, and then a dollop of strawberry jam. Mr. X used some of Iveta’s lemon curd, as well, and loved it! (You might know by now that I’m a lemon-hater, so I abstained from that treat.)

For dessert, we had giant fresh strawberries, which Mr. X was happy to slather with the lemon curd, and we both dipped them into my own homemade clotted cream that I whipped-up a big batch of. I also baked chocolate muffins using a pancake mix into which I added chocolate chips.

But my absolute winner, and crowning achievement, (a description which is so apropos of the occasion,) was my…English Trifle! It is such an authentically British dessert, and one that I had never attempted to make before. But I felt like there would be no better time to make it than for the Coronation. (And wasn’t Mr. X happy! He could not stop eating it all week-end. Now I know what to do for his birthday this year! Finally!)

Karen Salkin’s English Trifle. (She didn’t work on getting a better picture because they were desperate to dig in!) Photo by Karen Salkin.

We honestly didn’t need all that, but what the heck—as I said, it was the Coronation!

I always have tons of all kinds of teas on hand, and thought of brewing up a pot of The Beauty Tea Company’s “I Am Energy” blueberry tea, which I love, but in the end, we went with a basic British tea, just so I could look at it’s big beautiful blue tin!

And that is it for my Coronation coverage, ladies and gents!!! I guess we’ll do it all again in a couple of decades when now-nine-year-old Prince George gets married!

This latest Royal Wedding, of Princess Eugenie and the wonderfully-monikered Jack Brooksbank, was just a week ago, and I’m still kvelling over it! (Doesn’t his name sound like a handsome character in a black-and-white movie? Like someone Clark Gable would have played?)

Just married!

I would have given you my tips for watching this one in advance, as I did for that previous wedding, but since I was erroneously led to believe not great things about these nuptials, (by the idiotic press,) I did not. And that is most definitely my bad!!!

[Note: This was in the Comments section of a British article I read about the wedding, and expresses my thoughts to a tee!: “The press has completely misled us on who Eugenie really is; all I see is a very sweet, gracious, and humble girl, who is very much in love with her lovely husband. I’m glad she’s had the opportunity to show us all her real self. I wish the queen would give them the chance to represent her in official roles. A very classy couple indeed.”]

I love this couple! I had never noticed Jack at all in the seven years that they’ve been together, and I knew nothing of Eugenie except for the public mocking of her and her older sister, Princess Beatrice. I really am ashamed of myself for not digging deeper to begin with.

The whole bridal family. And kids, too, of course.

Actually, the sole reason I watched the wedding is that the British media made such a big deal out of which Royal Wedding would outdo the other! [Note: I doubt many other Americans even cared about it at all. And, if they did, I have a feeling they missed it, anyway, because I was most likely one of the very few on this side of the pond who was smart enough to even find the sparse television coverage! And I’m also the only one I know who was even the slightest bit interested because self-centered LA peeps just don’t care about much outside of their own lives.]

And it should not have been that way. The girls have always been secondary, (or actually, much further down than that,) to Wills and Harry, in the hearts and minds of the Brits. And I should not have bought into that.

So, here are just a few of my quick thoughts on the entire Royal topic:

First of all, during the television coverage of the entire day, the English hosts played an interview that they had recently done with the engaged couple, who turned-out to be adorable. And soooo in love! Mr. X and I went nuts over how cute and charming they are. And they appear to be genuinely good people. We’ve been rooting for their happiness ever since that moment.

On their way as a married couple, with a little help from Prince Andrew and Princess Eugenie. (I believe they were leaving their wedding breakfast here.)

And the wedding itself was beautiful and brilliant. Eugenie looked stunning! Her dress, tiara, and earrings all worked together perfectly, (and with her auburn locks,) and were absolutely gorgeous. I adored that she did not wear an unnecessary veil, and had the dress made to show her back scar from her major spine surgery that she had when she was just twelve. What a very thoughtful thing to do to give others in her then-position hope. If a real-life princess can rock her scars, so can we all.

I did have some unanswered questions along the way, though. Chief among them is why did Beatrice, who was the Maid of Honor, not stand up at the altar with her little sis, as Jack’s brother, his Best Man, did with him? The only answer I can come up with is that she stayed by her mother’s side during the ceremony so that Fergie, who’s been persona non grata with the royals for many years now, would feel more comfortable. And, if that is indeed the case, yet another point for these lovely siblings.

(L-R) Jack, Eugenie, Harry, Meghan. Eugenie’s BOUQUET is even better!!!

Not that it was a competition between the two weddings, (this one and the one five months ago of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle,) as the press has been making it out to be, but if so, this one won, hands down! It had a much prettier bride, no crazy self-serving bishop, (or whatever that guy was,) and no long drawn-out anything. Meghan’s hair looked dirty with her usual pieces hanging down, (which I have never understood her obsession with,) while Eugenie’s was clean, classy, and elegant. And her make-up was perfection while Markle’s face looked dirty and messy throughout the entire ceremony. And this couple interacted with each other more, laughing all the time, while I kept hearing Markle’s inner dialogue as just congratulating herself for snagging a prince! (Okay, that one is a large bit of speculation on my part.) They had a much better “first kiss,” as well!

Eugenie’s curtsy, on the right.

And let’s face it—that curtsy to the Queen that Eugenie did to her grandma was a thing of beauty! I’ve never seen one like it before!

The kids in the bridal party were adorbs once again. But weirdly, they kept cracking us up at this one, while they did not at the previous union.

The kids loving the newlyweds. (Princess Charlotte is the giggly girl in the middle.)

And then Eugenie and Jack threw exactly the kind of two-day celebration that I would love to do if Mr. X and I ever have a wedding. (But truth be told, none of our friends deserve this fun!!! Just sayin’.) First they had that enchanting wedding itself, followed immediately by a brunch, and a fancy dress reception that night, and then an outdoors fair-and-rides event the day after!!! OMG!

And Eug and Jack’s cake beats Harry and Meghan’s by a million zillion! The latter had a lemon cake, (ugh—gag me with a spoon,) which, besides that I would have hated it, is not a fun wedding dessert, by any stretch of the imagination. It was not nice of them to give their guests such an unspecial “pudding.” [Note: “Pudding” is how the English refer to all desserts.] Lemon is the opposite of “sweet treat.” But Eug and Jack’s wowed their guests with a breathtaking rich cake of chocolate and red velvet, a combo made in heaven. And it was decorated in autumnal foliage, which was their color scheme for the whole shebang. Brilliant!

The cake. Notice their initials along the bottom.

Now I really wish that I had accepted one of the several TV jobs I’ve been offered in London over the years, so Eug and I could have become besties!!! I would have fit right in with all of it!

So much has happened in the Royal Family this past week, not just the wedding! There have been so many developments, some happy, some annoying. (To me, anyway.)

Part of that news is that Harry and his wife are expecting a child, (which I’m sure all observant females could tell the moment they laid eyes on her weirdly-buttoned coat that day.) So, good for them. But it was totally rude of Meghan to announce her pregnancy…at Eugenie’s wedding!!! Talk about trying to steal someone’s thunder. Yeesh.

Pippa and her husband walking into the wedding just three days before she had the baby!!! Looks like the easiest, neatest pregnancy ever!

But creepy Meghan got one-upped herself right away by Pippa Middleton, (Kate’s sister,) having her baby on Monday, right after the other’s pregnancy news went world wide. I could not have been happier with that timing!

And speaking of timing, how easy-going is Pippa’s?! She didn’t even show until very recently, looked comfortably and cutely pregnant at the wedding last Friday, went into the hospital on Monday, and had her baby…just three hours later!!! You go, girl.

So, there you have it—the Royals week in review. With a twist of Karen, of course.

I’m still absorbing the shock of the L.A. Clippers trading their star, and former #1 draft pick, Blake Griffin, to the lowly Detroit Pistons on Monday. How is that even possible? This whole town is reeling.

Blake Griffin, appearing to say, “WTF?” to his trade.

I don’t think that anyone saw it coming. He was their “franchise player,” for goodness sake! Who are the Clippers without Blake Griffin?!

All that being said, I’m not exactly a rabid fan of his because he’s had, how shall I put it, not the most exemplary behavior over the past few years. Blake is actually a far cry from that shy young guy I was sort-of the first to welcome to L.A. in 2009.

Yes, you heard that correctly. I do have an early Blake Griffin story. Here ‘tis:

Blake Griffin at JFK in 2009. Photo by Karen Salkin.

In the summer of 2009, after a trip to New York to entertain my little mother, I arrived at my gate at JFK’s United Airlines for my return flight home to L.A. It turns-out that the airline neglected to call just a couple of us passengers on that scheduled flight, to let us know that the flight would be delayed for take-off. About two hours delayed!!!

So, I walked into a ghost town of a boarding area. The weird thing is that I’ve always whiled away my wait in the private lounge when I was flying Business (as I was that night) or First Class. But I just forgot to do so that day. And as I arrived, I spied a really tall, lost-looking young guy walking ahead of me. When we got to the snack counter, where I was right behind him, with no one else around, I asked, “Aren’t you Blake?” He said he was, and seemed so shy, and sort-of in a fog. And sort-of surprised that someone recognized him, especially in New York. (Of course, we were those two passengers whom United had not notified about the delay!)

Blake Griffin at JFK in 2009. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I expressed surprise that no one was bothering him—after all, he had just been the #1 draft pick for all of professional basketball!!! That’s a really big deal, to you non-sports fans. He said that one or two people in front of the terminal had seemed to know who he is, but that was it.

We chatted for a bit. He seemed kind-of apprehensive about the near future. He was such a far cry from the confident, almost cocky guy that he is now. If we put the two personas together, of then and now, they would seem like Patty and Cathy on the old Patty Duke Show! (In case you’re not familiar with that classic television show, one’s demure and the other is the life of the party.)

Blake Griffin, when he was drafted first in the 2009 NBA draft.

He asked if I go to the games, and I said that I occasionally did, and I’m sure I’d see him there. I told him that Michael Roth, one of the bigwigs at the Staples Center, where the Clippers play, is wonderful, and that he should look for Michael if he needs anything. My one regret is that I didn’t think to give him my card in case he needed anything because that may have made him feel better, to at least know one non-Clippers-related person in town. He seemed so fearful of the future.

And then, not wanting to glom onto him, I just walked away and sat down in the waiting area. In a bit, he sat down a few rows away from me. Since we were the only two people there, I kept wanting to go over and chat some more, to make him feel more welcome in my town, but he had ear buds in, so I didn’t want to bother him. But I did call a few guys back home, including Mr. X, and said, “Blake Griffin is on my plane!” But each one of them said, “Who?” I had to explain his new status in the world of basketball.

And here’s Blake Griffin eight years later, with his suitress, Kendall Jenner!

Boy, have times changed. Now everyone in L.A., and basketball, in general, knows the name “Blake Griffin.” But not always for the right reasons. He’s had a rash of injuries over his career. He had two children out-of-wedlock with a former college basketball player, (who previously had a baby with a pro quarterback in town.) He punched one of the team’s equipment managers, injuring his hand, which resulted in being unable to play for over a month. It’s always seemed to be something with him. Needless to say, the powers-that-be weren’t always thrilled with the guy’s behavior.

But outside of all of that, he was doing well again this season, despite injuring his knee and being out again for over a month. In his first game back at the end of the year, he helped the Clips beat their arch-nemeses, the L.A. Lakers. And he continued to do great from there.

Blake Griffin.

On top of that, he’s the second-leading scorer in franchise history. And the Clippers had recently re-signed Blake to a five-year, hundred seventy-three million dollar contract! So why in the world would they trade him now??? (And how did he not have a no-trade clause in there??? We all know he wanted to be a lifetime Clipper! How did his agent not insist on that being a part of the contract?!)

They’re not getting anyone special in return, except for maybe Avery Bradley, who was a stand-out on the Boston Celtics last season. I really like that guy, but player-and-star-power-wise, he’s no Blake Griffin.

So, I just hope that Blake, (and I!,) can get over this new development in his career. And that there will be someone at the airport in Detroit to warmly welcome him to his new city, as I was when he was on the way here to begin his NBA career.

Anyone who has ever lost a loved one at holiday time should read this.  Yes, parts of it are a tad depressing, but it brings a message of hope. And, with so many recent losses, there are, unfortunately, many people who need to read this.

It hit me on Christmas morning, the fifth anniversary of losing my precious mother, as I was getting out of bed. I wasn’t jumping out of bed with excitement for the upcoming day; rather, I was just getting up to have my usual breakfast of cereal and fruit.  But I noticed that I put the yule log on television, just to make the morning a drop special this year.  And that one tiny move gave me hope.

Here’s an example of a Facebook “memory” notice. But the one I received on December 25th was depressing, so I’m showing this one instead.

A few minutes earlier, while still in bed, I opened my iPad to Facebook.  The very first thing that popped up on that page was a notice of my “Memories on Facebook.” All of mine are the links to my week-daily columns here on ItsNotAboutMe.TV, but this particular one was a link to one I wrote on a past December 25. I couldn’t believe that I had ever even posted an article on an actual Christmas Day, (because I never publish on the day of a holiday,) but four years ago, my column was to commemorate that it had been a year since my beloved little mother had died…on Christmas Day!  While Mr. X and I were visiting her.  And I was making Christmas dinner, and expecting a lovely day for my mother, with family and friends.  She had never had a real Christmas before, (because my family is Jewish, and Mr. X and I had always celebrated at our home in Los Angeles,) so we were all looking forward to it.  (You can read all the gory details elsewhere in this e-zine, but now I have to bring the room up a little.)

So, five years ago, in the blink of an eye, Mr. X and I went from being the biggest Christmas celebrants ever to “Bah Humbug” people.  I had loved this day since I began celebrating it as a teen-ager, (once I moved out on my own,) to someone who could not even bear the pain of just hearing the word.  I began to dread the holidays.

One of our festive Christmas dinners in years past. Photo by Karen Salkin.

When the next Christmas approached, I went into a terrible depression.  I didn’t know what to do for us.  I didn’t want to spoil it for Mr. X, but, luckily, he felt the same way.  (He and my mother were thick as thieves; she always referred to him as her “favorite relative.”  And she was his biggest fan. He was as crushed as I was when she passed.)

So, that first year, we had no tree (of course,) and there was nary a decoration in sight.  All of my precious little holiday tchotchkes stayed put in their closet.  I sent no cards, and couldn’t even bring myself to buy gifts for all my business people, for whom I had been happily making gifts bags for years!  That had been my favorite activity all year, every year.  I now panicked thinking about Christmas dinner, because I had always made it for just Mr. X and me.  People had long stopped inviting us to join them, knowing by then that we liked to stay home alone, and eschew the rest of the world.

The beverage corner of our friends’ Christmas dinner fete. Photo by Karen Salkin.

And then, the Christmas Miracle of 2012 happened, which became our first baby step back to the holidays. Our wonderful friends, Fred and Jim, invited us to their dinner!  And it was beyond perfect.  Besides that we had someplace to go that day, (so that we weren’t alone with our depressing thoughts of that day the year earlier,) their fete was decidedly not Christmas-y at all, which was just perfect for us.  They did have a lightly-decorated tree in one corner, but it was not at all bright.  And the whole place was dimly-lit, in an elegant way, which was so far from the way we had always done it.  The best part is that the dinner was not turkey and stuffing!  It was classy fare, like black cod and rack of lamb.  There was nothing on the plate for me to cry into!  It was just a lovely dinner party, which didn’t remind me of Christmas, and my mother, on any level.  It was perfect.

And then, thankfully, the dreaded anniversary had passed.  And we could move on from there.

For the next three years, going to Fred and Jim’s, (and having nothing holiday-esque in our own house, decoration- or gift-wise,) became our new tradition.  We were both still miserable every December 25, but it became a nano-tad easier.  I did break down in 2014 and purchase one small Winnie The Pooh ornament, but I didn’t even remove it from the box. (Baby steps.) I put it on a counter, near a picture of my mother that I always talk to, because she would have loved this cutie, too.  [Note: A couple of months after I lost my mother, a psychic told me that she said for me to talk to her photo, which I already was doing, and still do today.]

The first baby steps back to holiday decorations last year. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Last year, 2015, our pal, Curtis, brought us an official Charlie Brown tree.  (A commercial one—not a real one from a lot.)  We already had two of them—ours that we had bought a few years before, and the one we had given to my mother in Brooklyn, which was, very sadly, now mine.  But we hadn’t been able to bring ourselves to put them out.  Since this new one was a gift, I figured what the heck, and we set it up in a corner of the living room, near the above-mentioned picture of my mother.  Nobody loved A Charlie Brown Christmas more than May Rose Salkin!!!  And this new one even played the theme music.  I knew she was in proverbial heaven over this new addition to the living room.  (She was already in real Heaven.)

Then, just by coincidence, my friend, Alice, bought us a delicate little set of tiny lights, which I just left near the tree, not on it.  (As I said—baby steps.)  And Carol in Colorado sent us a little snow globe, which I set out near our new display.  And that was it for last year.

So, now here we are in 2016, and all the same conditions applied.  Only this time, we actually put those tiny lights on the tree.  And added to the petite display a bit, whenever a kind pal contributed to it, even with just a holiday card.

My beautiful stocking that I decorated myself at Chill at the Queen Mary! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The next baby step came with my Media Night visit to Chill at the Queen Mary.  One of the activities there was decorating a stocking, and I must admit that I really got into it.  Mine is really beautiful!  (But I chose a blue one, rather than green or red—baby steps.)  I had also received a tiny blue stocking when I arrived, which contained my tickets for the evening.  So, a couple of days later, I could not resist displaying those two, just so that I could tell Mr. X that mine was the big gorgeous one, and his was, as my mother would have called it, the little weeny one!  For that purpose, I had to put up our tiny Haitian rendition of a Christmas tree. (It’s flat and made of metal, and hangs on the wall.) It had remained hidden away in the same place for many years, but was now missing. That search for it was yet another baby step.  (But Mr. X and I agreed that the stockings would stay empty, because we could still not bear to do gifts yet.)

Then we gradually added holiday music into the mix. I still felt a tad guilty, belting out tunes like Jingle Bell Rock, but I could hear my mother saying, “Stop being so crazy, Karen! I love that music.”

As I mentioned, for most of the years that Mr. X and I have been together, I cooked Christmas dinner for just the two of us. (And Clarence, too, of course, until he was no longer with us in 2010.) And that was just the way we liked it. But, because I was doing that exact activity in Brooklyn five years ago when my mother got sick, and then left this level of life, I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it since then. But this year, Fred and Jim, the founders of our feast for the past four years, were out of town! And nobody else we know does anything for Christmas! We were forced to be alone now, which had always been our choice, but now I was dreading it! I could not bear to cook that meal, and Mr. X absolutely hates going out, especially on Christmas Day! All month long, I kept begging him to help me figure it out. I didn’t want to be caught in a bad depression that day, and needed to make a plan. But we could not come up with anything reasonable.

Our little tree, and its pals, this year. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Finally, on the 24th, he suggested that we just have Chinese food, as many others of my ethnicity traditionally do on Christmas. (And as the family in A Christmas Story does when a dog eats the meal they had cooked.) But he wanted to have it delivered, as opposed to going out for it, which just would not have been the same. So, we were still somewhat in a quandary as to what to do the next day to avoid the expected pain.

Then, that evening, I realized that we had not yet gotten a memorial candle for my mother! (It’s what my people do to commemorate the death of a loved one.) So, it was over to the supermarket for us. (And I bumped into a fun old pal there, so it was already a winning day for me!) While we were there, I realized there’s a vegetable dish I began making last fall, when I needed to start cooking (for my health,) and it involved cranberries, so I had better get some right then, before they run out after the holiday. After that, we innocently walked over to the service deli, and lo and behold, there were perfect-sized chunks of freshly-cooked turkey! So, we decided what the heck, and purchased that, too, on spec. Some yams and corn later, (I already had stuffing, potatoes, gravy, marshmallows, and nuts at home,) and voila–we had built a proper Christmas dinner, Stone Soup-style! [Note: That’s one of my favorite children’s books. If you don’t know the story, you really should look it up.]

I still didn’t know if I would cook any of it the next day, mind you, but at least it was comforting to know it was all there, if we needed it. (And the baby step of going shopping for the holiday fare was out of the way.)

How we used to do Christmas, in happier times. (You can see a bit of that Father Christmas blanket in the upper left corner.) Photo by Karen Salkin.

I spent this past October on the east coast, and had bought some little “ in general” gifts for Mr. X. But, because I’m the world’s worst un-packer, I still had not given them to him as late as mid-December! In the back of mind, I had thought they would make good little Christmas presents for him, even though I knew we didn’t do that kind of thing anymore.

And then, a couple of nights before the 25th, I told him I had them for him, and before I could even ask if he wanted them right then, he said, “I have a few for you, too.” So, after several minutes of “should we”s, we decided to give them to each other on Christmas Day. But this was not even close to our old ritual, of giving each other about fifty gifts, with gorgeous, fun wrapping, sitting on a Father Christmas blanket under the tree, snacking on popcorn and sparkling cider. And getting up at 5AM to get it all done by 10AM! No, this was a couple of already-owned gift bags, a piece of colored tissue paper here and there, and just sitting on the couch, by a tiny table, at about noon. Bing, bang, boom, and it was over. Easy breezy. It was exactly perfect. We would’t have wanted anything more, and these few “baby step” gifts were successful. It was such a relief. (And I know my mother would have approved. She wasn’t torturing me—I was!)

Our super-pared-down little gift display this year, which was the perfect baby step! You can even sneak a peek at that photo of my mother on the very left. Photo by Karen Salkin.

We eased the pain by watching holiday movies all day, which was the perfect mindless activity. (Well, not really so mindless—Mr. X knows every word of the definitive version of A Christmas Carol—the one that stars Alastair Sim—by heart! And he performs each role with equal gusto. Luckily for us, there was finally a marathon of that classic film this year!) And while doing so, I found myself getting off the couch, and preparing the dinner, with no thought process behind it, nor pain. Just happily working to give Mr. X a good home-cooked (in parts) meal.

And it was delicious, if I do say so myself! Just what the (mental) doctor ordered! (Well, he would have, if we had one!)

The whole dreaded week-end worked out so well for us that we both said that maybe next year, we’d do a little bit more in every category. It will be six years since we lost Maybelle, and if this entire month has taught us anything, it’s that you can’t count on anything in life—you have to seize the day.

But, even always knowing that, we could not have gotten to the better place we’re in now had we not taken baby steps along the way. For any of you who are in the same position that we are, (losing a loved one not only on Christmas, but on any holiday,) only newer at it, it will get better. Just allow yourself the time, and then join us in Baby-Stepping Back to the Holidays!

I’m so sorry I didn’t post this right away, the day after the recent competition, but my tribute to Muhammad Ali was much more pressing. And important, of course!

But, now that I’ve had four full days to digest the debacle that was the Miss USA contest this year, I can finally weigh-in.

There was so much wrong with it that I don’t even know where to begin. It’s all just rushing out of me, so, for perhaps the first time ever, I cannot go in chronological order. But I’ll get to it all. I promise.

Show host Julianne Hough and backstage correspondent Ashley Graham. Now, THAT’S the definition of diversity!

I love co-host Julianne Hough, but her feeble attempt to point-out that the three finalists were “diverse,” was just one of the many embarrassments. The girls were actually the furthest thing from diverse–two were black and one was Hawaiian! But I know what Julianne was trying to convey; she was using “diverse” as a euphemism for “not white,” as so many awkward people do these days. The definition of “diverse” is: “showing a great deal of variety; very different.” And though it was very different to see three not-the-usual-ethnicity girls vying for the crown at the end of the contest, they themselves were not diverse; they were basically the same. (In the old days, “diverse” in the Miss USA pageant meant one was a blonde, one a brunette, and the third a redhead! So, this was, indeed, refreshing.) Her whole shpiel about it made me uncomfortable in my own home. (And it looked like it did the same for her co-host, Terrence J, whom I’ll rip apart get to later.)

Other than that, though, I thought Julianne did a good enough job. (And she looked gorgeous!) I was happy to see a host not making it about herself (except for some stupidity about how many times she and her co-host were going to change their outfits. But that was written for them; they were not her spontaneous words.) It was her first time doing anything like this, and I liked her pep, even if her presentation was a tad pat. But she’s just so cute and gung-ho that she didn’t really annoy me. (She did, however, get on Mr. X’s nerves, because she was so unnatural. But we both agreed that she’d be the perfect co-host on Dancing With The Stars! Well, anyone would be better than that creep they have now, Erin Andrews. Please ABC—listen to us about her already!)

Miss DC getting the easiest question in the history of the contest. Julianne Hough’s face says it all, while her co-host, Terrence J, lets his boredom with the whole procedure shine though.

Now, let’s discuss the inane questions they asked the girls. Since this competition does not have talent, as Miss America does, and they don’t want to appear to make it about just looks, (which it really usually is—but obviously not this year, going by the funny-looking, way-too-skinny victor, who kept sniffing strangely the whole night,) they make believe it’s about brains, too, by asking what they think are profound questions. And the producers try to make it seem like each judge has come up with his or her own deep query, although this time, they had to admit that the powers-that-be over there wrote all of them, after the Twitter-verse started ragging on that one judge who drew California as his respondee.

Of the five questions, two were benign, and one was about the Pentagon, directed to the one girl who is an Army commander! (We know that because she, and the announcers, mentioned it about a dozen times. But all we know about the other fifty-one girls is that perhaps they once played basketball! Oh, we do also know that Miss California’s father is the one-hit wonder singer, Gerardo, a fact they also hammered into our heads.) So, of course her somewhat intelligent response shone!

The hosts with Miss Hawaii.

But Miss Hawaii was expected to answer for whom she was voting in the upcoming Presidential election, a question which shocked most of us by the rudeness of it. (Many think she would have won had she been asked a different question, and perhaps they are correct.)

But the absolute loser, both by the question she was assigned, and by her worse-than-dreadful answer, was the aforementioned Miss California. This was it, word for word: “One of the biggest challenges facing the United States is social and economic inequality. How do we narrow the gap between the rich and the poor?” Nice question for a girl to answer in half a minute, right?!

With lots of fits and starts and pauses, this is what she came up with:

Poor Miss California struggling to find an answer.

“When it comes to social and economic equality, I think that the rich and the poor need to stop being so segregated. I think there is a middle class. I think that the rich need to… I think that the rich need to be able to be giving and I think the poor need to work hard and I think the middle class needs to come together and find an in-between.” Huh?! When she first closed her eyes after she heard the question, Mr. X thought that she was giving it some thought, and would come up with something good. I, on the other hand, knew right away that she was just wishing she was elsewhere. Anywhere!

What she really needed was me, as her Cyrano! I would have had her respond, “If this country’s leaders haven’t solved that problem in hundreds of years, what makes you think I can do it in thirty seconds? And if I do, I should be crowned President of the World, not Miss USA!!!” She would have then won, right? Or at least have come away with a modicum of her dignity intact.

Aside from the question nonsense, here’s another wrong concept. In an attempt to be the new version of “politically correct,” they hired a very hefty chick, Ashley Graham, as the backstage correspondent, to show that there should be all-size models. But that was especially cringe-worthy because all the contestants were rail thin! That hiring was soooo hypocritical! (And now Ashley is saying that heavy woman should be able to compete, too. First they’re considering having transgender woman in the pageant, and now chubsters. I hate that! Everyone should have equal opportunities at life, of course, but if something is set-up one way, like it being a female beauty contest, then that’s what it should be! If it’s pro baseball game, you can’t say they should include non-athletes in it, for goodness sake! You choose the best prospects for the job description!)

Getting back to the judges, why were there only five?! The producers leave this supposedly important decision, (because the winner vies for the Miss Universe crown later on in the year, and every country wants to win that,) up to just five people?! Out of the entire country??? Oh wait—they also let the viewers vote. As long as you live on the East Coast, that is! Insane.

The moment the winner, on the left, was announced.

The only winner here, outside of the one crowned, was Steve Harvey–because he didn’t host it! And his little comic bit at the beginning was the only levity in the uber-long trio of hours. But it was weirdly prophetic that, when Steve advised new host Terrence J to never mention the word “Columbia” (because Steve had erroneously announced that country’s entry as the winner of Miss Universe last year, in the most embarrassing moment in pageant history,) Terrence asked, “But what if I have to announce ‘Miss District of Columbia’ at some point?” Steve answered, “Not even then.” But that’s who wound-up winning! So, Terrence had to utter that dreaded word many times during the telecast, and usually began it with an annoying, “Sorry, Steve.”

So, speaking of Terrence J, (who did an okay job of hosting, even though he often made the show too ghetto with some of his inappropriate comments,) let’s finish-up with my personal story about him. I actually spent an evening with him in December, and let me tell you, I came away not a fan. He was the emcee of a big charity dinner in Beverly Hills, and I was a special guest. So, we were seated at the same table. My friend and I had been introduced to him in the cocktail portion of that fete, and I had no idea who he was. But, my friend, (who watches only crappy TV shows,) declared herself a fan, so he should have been nicer to us to begin with. And he knew that all the peeps at the table were VIPs in some way, so that should have also been a clue to perhaps mensch-up a taste.

Miss USA hosts Terrence J and Julianne Hough.

But no. He came with his bestie, who serves as his business manager, (which I applaud,) and the two of them sat at dinner, checking their phones the entire night. Terrence got up every now and then to perform his stage duties, but that was it. Thinking perhaps they were a bit uncomfortable at a table of all strangers, I, (as I do with everyone,) tried to put them at ease. But they soured my milk of human kindness from the get-go. Terrence did engage one time, when I invoked the name of LeBron James, but that was it. At least he took my advice and made two very necessary announcements, about things he never would have discovered on his own, so I give him credit for listening to my suggestions.

I also give him lots of credit for how he’s run his career. He saw an opening for a young-ish black TV host, who’s not too urban, and neither too old nor too young, and has totally grabbed it. So, big props to him for that. He just needs to be more personable in real life, in my opinion.

Now, on a side note: I may possibly tweet the Tonys this Sunday. @MajorCelebrity. I can’t promise, because it won’t be exactly “live-tweeting” since the telecast will be delayed here on the West Coast. But you can always check on twitter right before the show begins in this time-zone. I’m sorry in advance if I decide not to do it since it will old news to much of the country. But I do really hope to be tweeting it for you. If not, maybe I’ll write about the show next week. Let the jazz hands begin!

We’ve only just moved into the second round of the NBA play-offs, but I’m already exhausted. (Am I the only one who watches every single game? And the pre- and post- shows?) The action has been amazing.

Austin Rivers’ injury. Photo by Karen Salkin.

No worries—I’m not going to re-cap it all here for you! I’ll just give you a very few of my thoughts on what’s been going on so far, beginning with the event that inspired me to weigh-in now, way before the Finals.

–Friday night, in the important Clippers-Trailblazers Game 6, Austin Rivers, an important bench player who had to become a starter due to injuries of others, (and the coach’s son, to boot!,) suffered a serious cut to the eye. I’ve really never seen anything like it in a basketball game. He immediately had to have eleven stitches, both over and under his eye! It was really horrific.

How did they let him stay in like this??? Photo by Karen Salkin.

I felt awful for him, and the team, because both of their stars were already out. (More on that in a second.) Mr. X and I (and I have a feeling his mom, too,–Austin’s, not Mr. X’s,) were sure that there was no way Austin could return to the game. But he did! And he did great! With one eye closed!!! Had the Clippers won, it really would have been because of him.

While it was uber-impressive that he came back, that was just way too dangerous for him, nor worth the risk. Had he been hit in that eye again, (which is always a possibility,) he could have permanently lost his sight! He was amazing to have done it, but it was just way too risky for him.

So, I tweeted: “What a horrible decision to let #Austin Rivers play after his eye injury! Is a win worth losing one’s sight???” And, even though it worked-out okay, I stand by that sentiment. ‬ That was just crazy. I can’t imagine what his dad, Coach Doc Rivers, (one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met,) was going through during it all. He desperately wanted his Clips to win that game, (or be eliminated, as was the case,) and I’m sure he couldn’t have been prouder of his son, (both as a coach and a dad,) but did he really want his baby boy out there, with his eye swollen shut? We’ll never get the answer, but I know the whole scenario must have been terrible for him.

This is how Austin was playing–with that eye basically closed. And he did better than a lot of other players using two good eyes! Photo by Karen Salkin.

–So, now to those other injuries I alluded to, above. I can’t believe how many important ones there have been!!! There are many more than what I’m telling you about here, but the three worst ones might have changed the whole play-off picture. What appeared to be the worst loss of a player is reigning league MVP, Steph Curry of the Champion Golden State Warriors, going down with a bad knee injury eight days ago. He slipped on another player’s sweat on the floor! (Eww.) He’s been out since then, with probably another week to go, but his team is so amazing anyway, that they’ve managed to keep winning without him, which I know many people doubted. (For the record, I did not. I knew they could do it.)

Worse yet was what happened to the LA Clippers in their Game 4. Right after their #1 star, Chris Paul broke his hand during the game, (and required surgery the very next day—I wish I had had his hand doc, because my evil surgeon made me wait three months, writing in pain constantly, to do my surgeries three years ago!,) their #2 guy, Blake Griffin, re-injured his quad, and was out for the rest of the play-offs, (which, for them, turned-out to be just two more games.) And then Austin Rivers’ eye cut happened. Talk about snake-bit! Yikes.

Steph Curry (#30, in the middle) incurring his right knee injury.

–Speaking of Blake Griffin, here’s my little personal story with him, as I wrote in my very first Celeb Sightings column in this e-zine: “8/12/09 Blake Griffin, the newest LA Clipper and #1 draft choice, waiting to board the same plane I was taking back to Los Angeles from NY. We seemed to be just about the only two passengers who American Airlines hadn’t notified about the long delay! I couldn’t believe he was just wandering around by himself, so I popped over and said a quick hello. He told me he expected to see me at the first game of the season, and I said I’d try. But I guess he doesn’t know just what a busy gal-around-town I am! He’s lucky I was exhausted from my month in NY because otherwise, his wait would have seemed much longer, with me entertaining him!” I can’t believe that was already almost seven years ago!!! And I’ve never bumped into him here in LA!

But, all these years on, he’s gotten into some troubling episodes. First, he had a baby with a girl he was dating who was not even his girlfriend. (And she had also had a kid with a different pro athlete. Oysh.) Then he was charged with misdemeanor battery over an incident in Vegas two years ago. And this season, he got suspended for several games, for punching the team’s equipment manager! Who was his friend! Nice, eh? I thought I had raised him better than that!

–And speaking of the Clippers, I do feel sort-of bad for their center, DeAndre Jordan. He is really good, outside of his free throws, that he just can’t get right. Other teams always foul him because they know that he’ll more often than not miss his easy-enough-for-everyone0else free throws. And, he planned to play elsewhere this past season, but his teammates basically held him hostage until he re-signed with them. Disappointing times for him, I’m sure.

The Lakers roster of “Who-are-theys?” Photo by Karen Salkin.

–And, while we’re still on LA, I can’t believe that the Lakers are all strangers now! I’ve rooted against them for as long as I can remember, but when we saw their roster recently, Mr. X asked, “These are who you hate?!” We don’t even know who most of them are! What a sad turn of events; the only emotion I can now muster for them is pity.

–Which brings us to–who I am rooting for! While I do love the Golden State Warriors, and really like their young second round opponents, the Portland Trailblazers, my heart is still with the San Antonio Spurs. They’re the classiest organization in sports.

The Big 3 Spurs.

I could not be more impressed with them than in this play-offs.  They play as a true team.  The young ‘uns have quietly taken over for the aging Big 3, (Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobli,) but they never make us feel that those old dudes are being put out to pasture.  I always feel that it’s still that trio’s team, which is a great thing.  And the players are always classy, and never thuggish. I’m going to be crushed when those three, (and, bite my tongue, Coach Gregg Popovich,) retire.  Tim just turned forty(!!!), and is still playing great, but, at that age, the writing is on the wall.

Their first game in Round 2 (against the Oklahoma City Thunder,) had me riveted.  Yes, it was a blow-out, but the Spurs were so amazing that I couldn’t look away.  During so many of the games, because I’m always so time-constrained, I do have to multi-task a bit, by writing, or even just surfing the web for news, but not while that one was on. The Spurs took it to a whole other level.

–I really wanted the Charlotte Hornets to beat the Miami Heat, so that didn’t work-out for me. But I have to admit that the prospect of former teammates, and good buddies, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade going against each other in the Conference Finals is intriguing.

C. J. McCollum and Damian Lillard celebrating their Round 1 series victory. Photo by Karen Salkin.

–Young Damian Lillard, star of the Portland Trailblazers, speaks well, and gives thoughtful answers. Of playing the Golden State Warriors in his hometown of Oakland, California, he told the interviewer, “My friends and family don’t always get the opportunity to see me play, since I’ve been in the NBA.  It’s a blessing to be able to go back and play at the highest stage in front of them.” I love that!

–I can’t tell you how much I hate saying this, but I never realized what a dirty player Kevin Durant is!  I’ve always liked him, especially because of his emotional MVP speech a few years ago, where he lauded his mother, but I had never watched him play much.  And I always felt a bit bad for him because he seems so nerdy and insecure in real life. He’s always hunched-over, which denotes non-confidence to me.  But, in these play-offs, I’ve seen him hit, push, and shove his opponents!  Constantly!  I’m in shock over it. He’s even one of the very few who’s received a flagrant foul fine! What’s up with that? Am I the last to know the real Kevin Durant???

And now, let’s get to the really important topics!:

Myles Turner. Look at that gorgeous skin!!! Photo by Karen Salkin.

–Myles Turner, of the Indiana Pacers, has perhaps the most gorgeous skin I’ve ever seen! I actually tweeted that “I just want to lick it,” before I realized that that might sound a tad creepy, if you don’t know me.

–I love his teammate, Paul George, and I’m so happy that he’s playing again after last year’s horrific leg injury, (and doing it so well,) but I hate his name.  Does he have a brother named Ringo John?  What were his parents thinking???

–I love when the teams empty the benches in a blow-out, and give the other guys a chance to play, but the announcers need to stop referring to it as “gar-bage time.” That’s so rude, and makes me cringe every time. (And, with so many routs this year, I’ve been hearing it a lot.)

Luke Walton’s beautiful eyes. How did I never notice them until yesterday??? Photo by Karen Salkin.

–And, to end on a good note, congrats to new Lakers Head Coach, Luke Walton. I was never a fan of his, in college or as a Laker, but he did a great job with the Warriors when their head coach, Steve Kerr, was out for half the year. So, maybe with him as the coach, and a blank slate for me with the team, since, as I mentioned above, they’re all strangers to me, I’ll be in the Lakers’ corner a bit next year. And, to be honest, that decision on my part may really be because I finally just noticed how beautiful Luke’s eyes are!!! (Have I mentioned that I’m shallow?)

–And, lastly–Go, Spurs!

I was planning on taking the day off, but I keep getting asked about so many topics, that I figured let me use today to answer of few of those queries. (And I thank all of you for writing them to me! Keep them coming!)

So, here are my thoughts on several varied unrelated topics. (I saved the most requested one for last, so be sure to read that far!) I cover many of them with my daily tweets, so, if you’re ever curious what I think about some timely issue, you can always follow me on Twitter, and be among the first to know. @MajorCelebrity

The last picture I took of Doris Roberts, in September 2015. Photo by Karen Salkin.

1) Now, let’s begin with the sad news of the death of funnywoman Doris Roberts yesterday. Over the last decade or so, I saw her about five times a year, because, luckily for me, we were invited to many of the same events. I didn’t know her, per se, but shared a passing smile every now and then. The last time I saw her was right before the Oscars, when we sat next to each other at a beautiful luncheon in West Hollywood. She seemed a bit frail then, but I give her so much credit for getting dressed and made-up, and being out and about. That’s the way to be, in my humble opinion–living life as long as you can. And she still looked so good that I didn’t have a clue that she was ninety! I was shocked to learn that. It will be weird to not see her anymore. The events will certainly not be the same without her. RIP Doris.

2) On that subject, here’s one more depressing-yet-uplifting thought: Many of the Old Hollywood icons are leaving us. So, while the dumb among us choose to idolize non-talented peeps, like the Kardashians and their ilk, how about the rest of us celebrate the oldies-but-goodies in our midst, and learn as much from them as we can, while we still have the opportunity.

Adam LaRoche. Doesn’t he just look like a douchbag?

3) I already tweeted about this–a month ago–but Adam Laroche is an idiot. In case you’re not familiar with him, he’s the Chicago White Sox player who quit at the start of the season because the management of the team asked him to scale back bringing his fourteen-year-old son to the clubhouse every day. Yes, you read that right—he brought the kid every…single…day! That is so abnormal! And unfair to the other players. The kid even wore a uniform and had his own locker! Can you imagine if every player brought their children with them to work every day?! And forget baseball players—just think if one of your co-workers did it, in any job. It’s kind-of mental, if you ask me. (And you guys actually did!)

And Adam’s delusional—he’s actually stated that none of his teammates minded having the kid around all the time. Yeah, right. They didn’t say it to his face, but I’m sure there was plenty of behind-his-back grousing. So, good riddance to them both. He wasn’t a very good player anymore, anyway, and, obviously, a worse teammate!

4) I had horrible nightmares last night—about the new show, The Family! I usually don’t watch shows that have so much sadness and child abuse built-in, but this one is sort-of riveting. I guess the very last shot from this week’s episode (that I watched yesterday) really got to me, and haunted my sleep. But, at least, in my version, it got resolved in a good way, right away. I doubt that will happen on TV, especially if the show gets picked-up for next season. Darn. And, I guess, yay.

The ball was clearly still in the hands of the Thunder player, in white, when the clock signalled the game was over. But they thought he had beaten it, and celebrated prematurely. How depressing for that team when it was ruled “no basket.”

5) Yes, the ending of the Mavericks-Thunder game last night was one of the most exciting NBA play-off games that I can remember. I’m so glad that I try to watch every play-off game each year, just to witness moments like that one!

6) Speaking of “teams,” some people are thrilled that Michael Strahan is leaving the morning show Live, and some are sad. I’m in the what-I-assume-is-the-majority of “who cares?” I’ll never understand how he has even one major broadcasting job, let alone three…at one time! His awful lisp makes me not even be able to listen to him. He’s not particularly smart, witty, or charming, and not even good-looking! So, why are multiple entities hiring him?!

And Kelly Ripa is just the most annoying, full-of-herself, person on television. She seems like she cares about no one, including her audience, but herself. If she has a say in her new male co-host, you know it will be someone even more boring than she, because she doesn’t want to be outdone, (which would be very easy for one to do.) Regis was annoying, and became a caricature of himself, but at least his presence is what put the show on the morning map!

7) On the political front—Donald Trump is disgusting, scary, and speaks like an idiot; Bernie is more than a bit too angry, like a scary old uncle; and Ted Cruz is just downright creepy. With how Hillary got her possibly-cheating husband elected, and then out of his sex scandal, was just brilliant, so my money’s on her to set this country right. I don’t care about any of the other supposed “scandals” around her, as long as she gets us back on track. (That being said, I’d still vote for the Bernster, if he’s the candidate. Either way, it will be fun to have a first in my lifetime—either the first woman President, or the first Jewish (and from Brooklyn, to boot) one! It’s a win-win!)

Cute, appreciative Lindsay Arnold.

8) And yes, this is the most boring season of Dancing With The Stars…ever! There’s really not one true “star” on there, and they all look like deers in headlights. The pros seem basically bored themselves, like they could all use a big break. No one’s performing with gusto, (except maybe Mr. X’s favorite pro, cute little lip-challenged Lindsay Arnold.) I, who’s kept and paid for an extra phone line just to be able to help-out the deserving contestants on shows like this one that have call-in limits, hasn’t voted for anyone even once! The best one is that poor little fighter girl, who, despite looking like the head cheerleader at any school, says she’s never had a friend. That alone should win her some votes. But the judges, and most likely the public, as well, are trying to make Nyles, the deaf guy, win, because everyone loves to back a famous person with a disability. (Except for Oscar Pistorius, of course. No one but me believes his story, it seems. But that’s a topic for another Random Topics day.)

9) And while we’re on DWTS, let me leave you with the topic I get most requested to write about—how uber-creepy Erin Andrews ruins our enjoyment of the show all the time!!! Besides the obvious annoying things about her– her whiny, nasal voice; her awful pronunciation of so many words; her thinking she’s amusing when she’s so far from it; her telling all the duos who just danced to “get over here!,” and then make them do a move she wants to see again, like they’re dancing monkeys; and her basic bad looks–she makes every single dancer interview about her! It’s disgusting! She says what it means to her, what she thought of it, and who she knows. Please, please, please DWTS producers: if the show is still on next year, hire another co-host already!!!

[Note: The “plus-size” debate is a whole ‘nother topic, so I’m covering that nonsense in its very own column, hopefully next week. Let’s put it this way—I have plenty to say about it! And not everyone will be pleased.]

And thanks for all the questions!!! Keep ‘em coming, and I’ll get to them whenever I can.

I really didn’t want to weigh-in on the Bruce Jenner situation again.  It’s none of my business, and should be very personal to anyone going through gender dysphoria. But, people keep asking me for my thoughts, so here I am.

I’ve already weighed-in on the topic, (see the link in the next paragraph,) and my thoughts and feelings have not changed. Nor will they.

Bruce being a woman–I can see it.

This time, I’m writing about just Diane Sawyer’s ultra-weak interview itself, so, if you’d like my take (which is really pretty interesting, if I do say so myself,) on the whole topic to begin with, please click here: http://itsnotaboutme.tv/news/gossip-bruce-jenners-transition.  I just re-read it myself, and even I’m amazed that I was exactly correct on what was happening with him two decades ago! OMG! I was spot-on. It’s the exact story he told Diane in the interview!

And now, here are my thoughts on the now world famous 20/20 interview that aired last Friday night:

Diane Sawyer did a terrible job of interviewing Bruce Jenner!  There was so much more she could have asked!  They really needed me and my superior grilling techniques to get to the bottom of it all.  Hers was far from the “explosive” interview that it was promoted to be.  She barely got to the bottom of anything! A high school journalism student could have done a better job of it!

I really wanted to know what makes him a woman, rather than a cross-dresser.

How about these for queries: “Since you’re attracted to only women, when you transition, will you then be a lesbian?”; “When [your third wife] Kris saw your boobs when you were first intimate, didn’t she think something was up?”; “Did you have normal, good-feeling sex with all the wives you loved ?”; “It appears that Linda [Bruce’s second wife] knew the story while you were still married, is that correct?  So, is that why you two broke up?” (More on this one in a second.);  “Did you have any pals you shared your secret with, to make it easier for you to bear?   Or a shrink?”;   “What made you not do it those thirty years ago, when you state you first wanted to, and then just fade into the background?”; and the most important one of all–“Do you think it was fair to marry three women, and even have children with them, when you knew you were really a woman and not a man?”

Bruce Jenner, doing his infamous interview with Diane Sawyer.

Diane also never used the word “Penis,” (which I hate saying myself, so I sort-of understand; of course, like me, she could have just referred to it as “the p-word,”) and I really don’t think she even ever uttered the more adult “genitalia.” I really don’t understand how you become the other sex if you keep your original genitalia. I thought that was sort-of what defined which sex you were born, right or wrong. Diane really needed to get to the bottom of that.

I learned more of what went on (and the answers to several of my questions,) by reading ex-wife Linda Thompson’s column that was published during the week-end, than I did from Diane Sawyer’s “big interview!”  (If you’re curious, you can read Linda’s writing here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-thompson/bruce-jenner-linda-thompson_b_7080918.html.)

Unlike many, I do not feel that he did this interview for publicity.  Maybe he did, since he participated in his family’s TV show. I never saw the reality series, but I now have the feeling he just went along with it, as it seems he’s been doing with most things in his life, now that we know what he’s always been going through. Even never having met him, nor anyone in his giant fam, I’m just about positive that he did the interview because the press would hound him forever during his “transition.”  This way, it’s all out in the open; he told his story the way he wanted, so it takes away much of the torture from the media creeps.  So, good for him!  And I’m sure he really does want to help others in his situation.  Why wouldn’t he?

Why he’s going ahead with his planned docu-series is another issue. He told Diane that this was the last interview he was doing as a man, so I don’t know how the series is going to work. I guess he’s not considering it an “interview,” per se.

Bruce Jenner showing Diane Sawyer the first dress he’s going to wear as an official woman. I believe I wore the same one to a birthday party of mine–a dozen years ago! Trust me, it looked better on me, by a mile! (And that’s a pretty weak closet, too, especially for a rich guy! I hope that will change when he becomes a woman!)

To finish-up the topic, and hopefully be done with it, (at least for a long while,) I have no problem with Bruce Jenner, or anyone, changing his or her sex.  (Unless, bite my tongue until it bleeds, Mr. X. If he told me he was really a woman, after I had lived with him for so many years, I’d do the job for him myself!) I say live and let live, as long as no one is getting hurt. (Even though Bruce obviously did hurt at least three women. His kids should not be hurt at all, because had he not perpetuated his life-lie in the manner he did, they would not be here!!!) “Transitioning” into the opposite sex is just such a rare occurrence, (although it does appear to getting much more prevalent, and even something to sort-of flaunt,) and this the only instance of a celeb doing it, (especially one who’s known for his manliness,) that it’s hard for most of us to wrap our heads around.

I have to end with a couple of amusing statements to come out of this spectacle. Mr. X is making me tell you the first one: While watching the interview, after Bruce Jenner said he’s attracted to only women, Mr. X asked me, “ So now Bruce is going to be limited to dating only lesbians? So what’s going to happen with that?” I answered, “I don’t know how any of that works. I don’t understand it. I couldn’t even sleep with anyone with back hair so…” As amusing as Mr. X thought that was, I really can’t figure any of this out. Even though gender and sexuality are two different things, whom you have sex with is definitely connected to it! So, as much as I’m not a fan of Kris Jenner, (he said if she’d be accepting, they’d still be married,) how can you fault her for not wanting to sleep with a woman, when she married a manly man. (Although, as I said before, she knew about his breasts from the get-go! It’s all a head-scratcher.)

Oh—wait–wouldn’t it be a riot if he changed his name to Kris??? OMG! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before!!!

And lastly, Kris Humphries, who had that famous seventy-two-day marriage to Bruce’s stepdaughter, Kim Kardashian, tweeted right after the interview: “Man, I’m glad I got out when I did.” Just hearing the newsman who was reporting on the story read that made us laugh out loud. Very funny, albeit a bit insensitive. (But not everyone has to hop on board; I feel a lot of people are faking their support to be politically correct.)

Oh, and by the way, Bruce–Good luck with your Republican leanings.  I’m sure that party will really embrace your newfound womanhood!

[Note: I know it’s the Miss USA contest, but I’m not writing the “Miss”s because it’s assumed. And even the hosts didn’t say them!]

I finally got to watch this event on DVR yesterday because I was, as usual, overbooked the night before. So, here now are my thoughts on the telecast, as the show wore on…and on:

The Top 6. The one in the red gown won.

I have to admit that it was a better show than usual, even with the third hour added.

Marc Broussard and The Dirty Dozen Band really added to the introductions of the contestants, I must say. They were actually fun intros all around.

The fun Miss Congeniality from my adopted state of Rhode Island. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mr. X and I loved Rhode Island from the second we saw her! She just looked so fun. [And much later, they announced her as Miss Congeniality! I just wish they hadn’t deprived us of seeing her reaction when it was announced.]

I can’t believe that I wore outfits skimpier than theirs for an entire decade from 1995-2005! OMG! But, I swear, they looked fine because I was really skinny. [Sidebar: I wore one like the ones these girls did for the opening, when I was a guest on a dance show. Mr. X loved the show, so I did it as a surprise to him. But I brought it to show some friends in New York, and when I got to Rhode Island, my little friend, Ronnie, found it in my suitcase, and goaded me into playing it for my pals there, which was a tad embarrassing to begin with. But then he put it on for the patriarch of the family, his great-grandfather, and I was humiliated! As was the man!]

Most of the girls were really good-looking, or at least made the most of their looks.

Look at Giuliana’s clean, straight part! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The inane hosts almost ruined the show though. I told Mr. X to watch out for that Giuliana woman to say everything is “amazing,” when it’s not even close, and that she’s “obsessed” with things that no one else would be! Mr. X said he was annoyed by all their hyperbole. [The two hosts got better and less annoying as the evening wore on. Or I was just too exhausted from the night before (I went to a play opening and the after-party, and when I got home from that complete evening, I watched the DVRed Tonys with Mr. X, and then the entire DVRed Game 2 of the NBA Finals, including the pre- and post-game shows, and the halftime report!,) to notice much of what I was watching the next day, on practically no sleep.]

But Giuliana does have the straightest hair part I’ve ever seen!

Early on, I predicted Utah would win, but she didn’t even make the Top 20!

How cute-looking is this girl? She should have won, hands-down! Photo by Karen Salkin.

But I got one really correct right from the start because the very first I picture I took to post here was of North Dakota, who came in first runner-up, and should have won!

How is Rumer Willis a judge of beauty??? She’s downright homely! Mr. X said he’d rather look at shoes.

I love Karl Malone, but I thought that he might choose the most wholesome chick, because that’s his white bread rep.

I actually liked the new way they introduced the judges. They each walked out on stage and got his or her due. That was good, because we saw more than just their faces.

I’m not a fan of his, but Dolvett (a trainer from Biggest Loser,) was a good choice of judge. He’s in-shape, nice-looking, and on a popular show on the same network. And of color.

Lance Bass was also a good choice. I mean it. Who’s better to judge glamorous women than a famous gay guy?

Who is this judge Melissa Peterman? How can a heavyset chick, who’s dressed like it’s the fifties, judge other women?

Except for Rumer and this Melissa woman, it’s not a bad judging panel, for once.

What a waste of time this backstage woman, Jeannie Mai, is!

The quickly-stated rules mean it’s all up to Donald Trump, in the end.

I’m so sorry, but I can’t write fast enough to critique all the players as fast as I share my bon mots with Mr. X, so you are missing out a tad on my snarkiness. Maybe that’s for the best, though.

How did last year’s winner win? She even has what Mr. X calls a “snaggletooth.”

Many of these girls appear to have so much going on, which is great! They’re all so much better than previous years. (Except for ones like Louisiana, whose claim to fame is that she goes fishing with her dad! Some are real athletes, some work in the medical profession, and some do charity work. But others in the Top 20 just love their pets! Or have siblings. At least these video packages help us know for whom to root.)

The stage lighting was dreadful! They all looked better on tape.

Miss Delaware’s mom, macking on her! Can we all say, “EWWWW!?” Photo by Karen Salkin.

The only true “ew” moment: When they did a feature on the girls’ families, they actually showed video of Delaware kissing her mom…on the lips!!! It was like that SNL skit where the enite family does this! They can’t come up with a memory-erase pill fast enough for me to forget that horrific image!

Wisconsin has the worst voice…and she’s a sportscaster!

Thank goodness someone young finally said, “My sister and I!” Most people nowadays speak so poorly, (including my college pals!,) but not Miss South Carolina.

Mr. X said Jeannie Mai is brutal! He pointed out that she was making even Florida Georgia Line uncomfortable!

The one on the right looks like Prince Harry a little, don’t you think? And why would Nelly wear that on this show? I don’t understand.

Did anyone else notice that the short-haired guy from that duo looked like Prince Harry from certain angles? I never did before this show.

Speaking of resemblances, I finally realized who Giuliani looks like–Olive Oyl! I dare you to not agree.

As I told you before, (but it bears repeating,) Mr. X and I predicted the Miss Congeniality winner right from the beginning! We’re so happy for Miss Rhode Island, (especially since I’m still connected to her hometown of Providence, where I used to live.) She looked like the most fun one, by far.

Indiana has a muffin top, yet still made the Top 20. So, how bad do the other thirty-one contestants look? (I know, I know, people have been tweeting that she’s the only one with a real body. But I still think it’s strange for this kind of competition.)

Arizona may be gluten-free, but not certainly not calorie- and fat-free!

That is one scary skinny body on Maryland. But I’m glad she got into this group because she’s the one who forgot to take the mask away from her face during the intros, and I’m sure her family was disappointed that her visage had not made it on camera, at that point.

Oklahoma was round-shouldered and pigeon-toed. She does not deserve to be named Brooklyne!

Louisiana’s gorgeous gown. But it has shoulder pads because she has weak shoulders! Photo by Karen Salkin.

What’s with all the trampy facial expressions???

Louisiana has the best face, but not much going on otherwise.

I’m so glad Nelly dressed up for this!

I’m still wondering why they added the third hour. Was it to be able to have more finalists than usual, and show them in-depth, or did they decide to implement those changes after they made it longer to begin with?

Jeannie Mai always tries to make it about her.

This new “twitter voting to find the sixth finalist” was not fair. Only people in the eastern and central time zones can vote, unless the fans get in touch with fellow rooters in the other states to tell them who to vote for, thus ruining the surprise for those viewers of watching live!

The comical-looking (though not on purpose) duo,Camila.

Why do the hosts keep putting tripping in the girls’ minds??? And they keep telling us that they’re walking in “super-high heels,” like they’re walking on sheets of broken glass, barefoot! Enough. It’s their own choice to do so!

The performance by musical duo Camila was like an SNL skit, in voice and look. The lead singer is like a Chris Kattan character. Or a Fred Armison one. How are they successful? They don’t sing well, and they both look like Boo Radley! (Hey—that would be a great name for a rock band, wouldn’t it?)

Miss Iowa’s stunning gown. The chandelier in the background makes it look like she’s wearing a crown! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Iowa wore the most stunning dress I think I’ve ever seen. And it was perfect to be crowned in, (which she wasn’t, which was fine because, as I said before, we rooted for North Dakota all the way.)

Wisconsin was too busy thinking she’s all that, and almost went down during the gown phase of the competition!

The worst dresses were on Nevada, the eventual winner, (the red dress,) and North Dakota, the eventual runner-up, wearing the green dress, whose zipper and beige netting we could totally see. (She still should have won.)

Louisiana wore shoulder pads! Mr. X called her own physical lack of shoulders early on, from the second they showed us the Top 20 video package! But the blue dress with a sparkly silver top was gorgeous.

I loved North Dakota’s forward-walking. It’s because of her hockey playing.

I did love the panoply of different gowns.

I called the entire top six, and in the correct order!

Olivia Culpo, Miss USA and Miss Universe 2012. (Not to mention Nick Jonas’ current squeeze.) Now, that’s a gorgeous girl! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Last year’s winner, Erin Brady, gave a good farewell speech. (But the 2012 winner, Olivia Culpo, from Rhode Island, to boot, is the supreme example of what a Miss Anything should look like! She even became Miss Universe, deservedly so.)

Let me know as soon as u can, please.

The winner should have been North Dakota, but Nevada gave the better final answer, if the judges did indeed vote and the outcome wasn’t pre-determined by Donald Trump, which I wouldn’t be too sure about.

I just realized something—the hosts never once said the name of each girl; the girls themselves stated them at the very beginning, but that was it!

But all in all, it was a successful enough show. Maybe by the time Miss Universe comes around, we’ll finally have my podcast up and running, so we can all watch together and you can hear my comments live, though if you have a contestant in the race, you may not want to!