AWARDS SHOW: SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS 2023

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SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS 2023

I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to review last month’s Screen Actors Guild Awards, but there’s a reason—even though the show was broadcast on February 26, it wasn’t televised, (rather, it was only on-line,) so I wasn’t able to see it until last week, almost a month later. That was especially frustrating because, as a member of SAG, I had dutifully watched all the nominated performances, and had voted on time.

Fran Dresher.  Photo by Karen Salkin.

Fran Drescher. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I had originally assumed that the show had arrived on-line due to a questionable decision by someone at our union, but it’s actually a pretty complicated issue. I’ll explain it all at the end of this review.

But it’s just one of the questionable moves made by our creepy and, to my mind, unqualified, SAG President, Fran Drescher. I’m sure I’m not the only disgruntled union member—when Drescher came out on stage during the show, she received practically no applause. Mr. X said that she thought she was going to be adored, but her reception was far from that, which seemed to really rattle her.

And then she proudly announced how great it was for the show to not be on TV, and that she’s planning to continue that stupidity, (my word, not hers,) for many years to come! To which she was greeted with crickets. Screen Actors Guild is for actors, for goodness’ sake—we all want to be on TV!!!

And then at the end of the show, during the acceptance speeches for Outstanding Ensemble for Everything Everywhere All At Once, which was the last award of the night, ninety-four-year-old actor James Hong declared, “I hope that next year, the network will change their mind and put us on again,” to rapturous applause. [Reminder: You can read how it all came about at the end of this review, so I can get on to the fun stuff already!]

White Lotus' Meghann Fahy and Leo Woodall, looking beautiful together. Photo by Karen Salkin.

White Lotus’ Meghann Fahy and Leo Woodall, looking beautiful together. Photo by Karen Salkin.

All that is to let you know why I couldn’t review it for you on time—I wasn’t going to watch an awards show on a device, not even my large desktop computer, (even though its screen is probably the same size as my four-sets-ago TVs.) So I had to figure-out how to send the broadcast over to my big screen television, which took many tries over the past almost-month. (Even the people at SAG itself didn’t know how to do it!) And then we had to hurry and get it done because the show was being deleted pretty quickly. (By the way–I don’t know anyone else who was able to watch it on TV, at all!)

Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Sally Field, in dire need of a dye job! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Sally Field, in dire need of a dye job! Photo by Karen Salkin.

And, in addition to the people who wanted to see the show but couldn’t because it wasn’t on TV, that stupid platform this year hurt many others. Since it’s not available anymore, no one could record it for posterity. How sad is that for the participants who might like to watch themselves again? I really don’t have the time to be on a SAG committee, but that’s a shame because they need someone with some basic brains to figure it all out for them!

Truth be told, I was out the night that the SAGs were sent out live. (I was at the opening of The Secret Garden, which I reviewed almost exactly one month ago. Here’s the link, if you missed it: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/theatre-the-secret-garden.) Because I already knew that it wasn’t on TV, I hadn’t thought to see if there were any arrivals shows being broadcast, so if there were any, I missed them, which is probably a bonus to us all!!! That means that I have only the actual presentation to discuss. So on to my review of the show.

I must say that because there’s no host, nor production numbers, nor awards for anything but acting, (duh—Screen Actors Guild  Awards!,) the SAGs are always the tightest production. That was the case this year, as well, so I was surprised that with no extracurricular activities, (which is how my 7th grade homeroom teacher referred to my excessive talking,) the show ended seventeen minutes over the planned two hours. It was still the shortest awards show of the season, so it was pretty easy to watch. (But I actually did miss having commercial breaks!)

Jamie Lee Curtis and her very long boobs. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jamie Lee Curtis and her very long boobs. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I must tell you that, because I viewed the show so late, (therefore I had already given up on writing about the SAGs,) I took not even one note. But then so much happened during the broadcast that I was compelled to write about it. So I have to give you just a bit of what I remember off the top of my head. I don’t have many exact observations to share because of that lack of notes, but I do have to weigh in on some of what I remember.

There was a lot of chest-baring on the women. Sadly, those included Jamie Lee Curtis‘ featuring of her very long boobs, and Ariana DeBose‘s very mis-matched ones. And there was a plethora of awful fashions.  But, since no hangers-on can make it into this awards show, (as they do for all the rest,) there were no downright vomititious outfits, that people always wear as cries for attention.

Aubrey Plaza's dreadful outfit, to match her personality. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Aubrey Plaza’s dreadful outfit, to match her personality. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The absolute worst-dressed, (which was a definite cry for attention,) was Aubrey Plaza, who was on season two of The White Lotus. She was also the most unpleasant person on stage all night. Her rudeness to her cast-mates when they won for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series was repulsive; it showed her true colors. And then she stormed off the stage while they were all still out there celebrating. Why would anyone want to hire her after that display?!

Outside of those peccadilloes, I’m going to go in order of what I saw:

The very first bit of the show, with a video of the Only Murders in the Building cast doing a spoof of The Banshees of Inisherin, was funny. Great way to open it!

Sam Elliott gave a good speech, but I still don’t get why women have always loved this mumbler.

Jeremy Allen White. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jeremy Allen White. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I enjoyed seeing Meghann Fahy and Leo Woodall from The White Lotus together. I don’t remember their characters ever crossing paths, but somehow, in real life, they became a secret couple, which I totally support. I love seeing beautiful people together!

Jeremy Allen White from The Bear really needs to play Gene Wilder! I wish I had the energy to write and produce a script for him.

Sally Field really needs to color her hair! Her face is still so young, but her gray hair ages her soooo much. She would look twenty years younger with a dye job!!! I think even fully-white hair would look better than her drab gray.

Jennifer Coolidge's new face. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jennifer Coolidge’s new face. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I always think that Jennifer Coolidge is funny, (actually even before she was as famous as she is now,) and I love that someone who looks like her is so popular. I’m also happy for her that she obviously had some facial work done recently because her face looked somewhat better than usual. But her acceptance speech was not good this time. It ended with a funny sentence, but she just kept hemming and hawing the whole time, which was very annoying.

I can’t believe that I love Colin Farrell all of a sudden this year! I never really disliked him, but I never liked him, either. And now I’m a fan!!! Charming fellow.

Colin Farrell. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Colin Farrell. Photo by Karen Salkin.

This one is a big issue to me: The producers knew that Everything Everywhere All At Once, which features a predominantly Asian cast, had the best chance, (and at least a five-in-one,) to win the big prize of the evening.  So why in the world would they choose Mark Wahlberg, a guy who beat up an Asian man so badly that he lost an eye*, to bestow that award??? That was in such incredibly bad taste! Wahlberg is not even front-and-center in show business right now!  *[Note: That sad story is too long to tell here, but here’s the link to how I wrote about it once before: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/gossipkarens-rant-mark-wahlberg-is-disgusting.]

Mark Wahlberg is on the very right, I hope thinking of the Asian man he blinded all those years ago! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mark Wahlberg is on the very right, I hope thinking of the Asian man he blinded all those years ago! Photo by Karen Salkin.

These last few observations are all about that cast’s acceptance speeches, both yay and nay.

The red-haired guy trying to glom on to James Hong. Note the bald guy looking on jealously, contemplating when to make his move. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The red-haired guy, who moved from next to Michelle Yeoh to right on top of James Hong, trying to glom on to the elder gent. Note the bald guy looking on jealously, contemplating when to make HIS move. Photo by Karen Salkin.

It was cute that Michelle Yeoh said of James Hong, “He’s been acting since there were only forty-nine states!,” to demonstrate his longevity in the business. But that statement is incorrect; she meant since there were forty-eight because Hawaii and Alaska were admitted together in 1959! Unless he started his first acting gig in the maybe-minute between the two becoming states! (But Michelle didn’t grow up in America, so she’s forgiven for not knowing that exact concept.)

Then the red-haired guy moves over to the center, and doesn't let go of James Hong no matter where Mr. Hong moves his arm! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The red-haired guy doesn’t let go of James Hong, no matter where Mr. Hong moves his arm! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I love James Hong! And I adore that he’s so with it at his advanced age. He was even dancing on the stage when they won!!! What I loved the most about his five-minute speech(!) was his complete honesty. I screamed when he said of the writers of his film, Everything Everywhere All At Once, “I don’t know what they were thinking when they wrote that script. Did you understand all of it? Right? I’m not sure. Well, go see it a second and third time, and maybe you’ll understand.” Finally, there’s someone besides Mr. X and me who admitted that film’s failings!

Most egregious of all, why was that guy with dyed bright red hair hanging on to James Hong during his whole loooong speech??? It was so annoying to witness, so I have a feeling it was even more so for Mr. Hong. And then another guy came over and horned in, too. It would have been comical if it wasn’t so rude!

The bald guy finally usurps the red-haired one, who then moves over to stand behind James Hong and Michelle Yeoh, very creepily grabbing on to both the stars!!! Ewww. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The bald guy finally usurps the red-haired one, who then moves over to stand behind James Hong and Michelle Yeoh, very creepily grabbing on to BOTH the stars!!! Ewww. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Lastly, here are the few deets I could find on the SAG Awards broadcast debacle: It appears that no TV channels, not even streaming ones, wanted to broadcast the show due to a history of bad ratings and expense. I don’t know how well the bigwigs at SAG shopped it around after the show was dropped from TNT and TBS this year. (Why it was ever shown on both Turner stations, at the same time, no less, I’ve never understood. Didn’t that make it more expensive for that company to show???) But supposedly Netflix will do it next year, which means that people who don’t have that platform will be left-out once again. But better that than not being shown on TV screens at all. (And no worries for you peeps who don’t want to watch awards shows and would rather rely on my reviews for all the deets—I have Netflix!!! So you’ll be covered.)

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