OSCARS 2024

On a personal note right off the bat, I began my Oscars week-end perfectly. As I was leaving a related event at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, I was mesmerized by a stunning red-themed display in the lobby, right by the front door. So I stopped to check it out, and this is what it was: the hotel had bottles and petite glasses of a classic champagne at the ready for the guests checking-in, along with movie-sized containers of popcorn for them. No wonder this is my fave hotel of all time! (And I don’t even drink!)

And let me clear something up before I begin my review of the Oscars proceedings for my non-LA readers: In-N-Out burgers suck!!! Years back, some Oscars party entity started serving them, (I believe it was, and still is, Vanity Fair,) and at that point, when many of the attendees hadn’t eaten much in weeks, or even months, leading up to the festivities, I’m sure any burger would taste good to them! It’s not like the celebrities are driving to an In-N-Out that night in lieu of fetes, because that’s what they’re craving.

I also have to say here that I’m not repeating my tweets here, (even though they are clever, if I do say so myself,) so if you haven’t already seen them, you still can do so, @MajorCelebrity.

Now, because there is soooo much to say about both the actual Oscars show and the many arrivals shows, I decided to split my coverage into two parts. Because the telecast is more important, (well, to most of us, anyway,) I’m going backwards and reviewing it today. And then I’ll get to all the arrivals dish tomorrow.

So let’s get to the show already! [Note: I’m going in order, even though my mind is screaming-out to discuss that dreadful In Memoriam segment first! So I’ll get to it soon enough, in its proper place where it appeared in the telecast.]

I liked the classy and color-changing set. I’m glad not much else changed about it as the show went along, as it has confusingly done in past years.

But I felt like there was not much energy to the show, as a whole.

Jimmy Kimmel hosted well enough, but there were no guffaws in his jokes. They were either too low-key or perhaps not appropriate in some cases.

But my favorite line of the night, (and perhaps ever,) was when Jimmy pointed-out that forty-eight years ago, both Robert DeNiro and Jodie Foster were nominated for their roles in Taxi Driver, and got the nods again this year. After applause, he added, “In 1976, Jodie Foster was young enough to be Robert De Niro’s daughter. Now she’s twenty years too old to be his girlfriend.” Everyone, including those two, loved that, with Jodie even saying, “It’s true.”

Jodie Foster is always so pleasant.

I got emotional when they brought-out lots of workers who stood with us Screen Actors Guild members during our recent strike.

When the previous Best Actress winners started giving personal messages to the nominees, I said, “Oh, this is going to go ten hours over!!!” (But it actually did not—it ended just two minutes over the allotted three and a half hours!)

It’s nice that each acting nominee got lauded individually, but the majority of Oscars viewers haven’t seen every movie, (as Mr. X and I have,) so I’m sure they’d prefer to see the usual snippets of the nominated performances instead of blowhards blowing smoke up the nominees’ butts!

And those little “accolade” speeches might be seen as obnoxiously “inside.”  They should have been done at a luncheon or the like, not in front of the viewing public! Show us the nominees work!!! That’s why they’re there—not for what individual actors have to say about them!

Rita Moreno has the most eyelid space of anybody over fifty ever! Good for her!

Just about everything that Best Actress winner, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, did that night was rude to someone. First of all, she should have thanked people connected with her movie!!! How awful of her to ignore the people who gave her the role and the one who worked with her. On top of that, she even ignored her co-star, Paul Giamatti, who kindly escorted her to the stage. She also ignored all of the other presenters who weren’t her supposed friend, as they said Lupita Nyong’o is. And—she didn’t even deserve to win her award!!!

Another major rudeness on Randolph’s part was that even knowing that she would already be spilling over her seat because of her size, she wore an outfit that made it even worse for the people on both sides of her! (Notice she didn’t have her own “date” sitting next to her—it was either tiny Giamatti or seat fillers.)

And Da’Vine was the only one who did not stand when the heartbreaking The Zone of Interest won for Best International feature Film! Rude.

The best hair of the night was on Animated Short Film winner, Brad Booker.

And the best speech of the night was given by American Fiction writer, Cord Jefferson, who won Best Adapted Screenplay.

I love Robert DeNiro, and I was glad to see that his girlfriend, Tiffany Chen, looks so nice, but she was rocking one of my theatre pet peeves—hair piled on top of her head, which is rude to the people behind you. (Which is usually me!) This time, it was even worse because Martin Scorsese’s tiny wife, who appeared to have a hard time lifting her head to begin with, was the one inconvenienced.

For her singing performance, Billie Eilish changed her awful red carpet outfit to a different bad skirt, other shoes without socks this time, and a horrible waaay oversized jacket. What is wrong with that girl???

At this point, I told Mr. X that I was going to vomit if Eilish and her bro won for that nothing song. And I just about did!!!

And then, finally, an award I agreed with—Best Production Design for Poor Things!!! I had predicted it months ago. And I loved the classy Christmas colors outfit that the female winner, Shona Heath, rocked.

But Holly Paddington, the winner for Best Costume Design, (for Poor Things, as well,) wore the worst dress! And earrings, to boot.

Mr. X was so impressed with the drum performance by Native Americans associated with Killers of the Flower Moon. He thought it was “fantastic!”

At first, I thought that Emily Blunt’s insane shoulder straps totally did not fit. But apparently, they were meant to be that way. It’s not a good design if we didn’t know which the answer was. (But at least her shoulders didn’t get any strap marks. So there’s that.)

In those stupid speeches from past winners to the nominees, last year’s Best Supporting Actor, Ke Huy Quan, told Sterling K. Brown that he’s “finally being recognized by your peers.” Is Ke nuts? Sterling has a a trio of Emmys, a Golden Globe, four SAGs, and over a dozen others! He’s been recognized by everyone for almost a decade!!! Did none of the writers check their info???

What a supreme comeback for Robert Downey, Jr.! He went from drug addiction and prison to winning an Oscar!!! I’m happy for him personally because, back in the day, when he was with Sarah Jessica Parker, they both told me they were fans of my show. (Probably especially Robert because he was most likely high when he watched it!) We were always happy to bump into each other.

The man who headed-up the team that won Best Visual Effects for Godzilla Minus One should have brought an interpreter! Then he could have spoken Japanese and we would have known what he said. By him speaking as himself, even the closed caption peeps couldn’t understand his words!

I love that a young girl editor won for Oppenheimer. You go, girl!  (I just found-out that Jennifer Lame is in her forties, but she seriously looks to be early twenties! So all day in a dark room must be beneficial.)

That was a great speech by Kris Bowers, one of the producers of The Last Repair Shop, which won Best Documentary Short Film. I loved that he introduced Porchè Brinker, the little girl musician from the film who was proudly standing on the stage with him in her blue gown. And when he quietly and genuinely said, “She looks amazing tonight,” I melted!

20 Days in Mariupol, the Best Documentary Feature Film winner, was the first Oscar for Ukraine in history.  The whole situation is so heartbreaking.

I know this isn’t the popular thing to say, and I’ve always adored Ryan Gosling, but that I’m Just Ken performance was a mess, and offensive to all the great song nominees over the years.

Why would Ariana Grande have another nose job??? Her original nose job was the most perfect one I’ve ever seen. Now she looks so fragile and colorless that I’m actually worried about her.

All parents need to take heed of what Ludwig Göransson, the winner for Best Score for Oppenheimer, said to his parents in his speech: “Thank you for giving me guitars and drum machines instead of video games!” Amen to that!

It’s nauseating that the Eilishes won again for that unintelligible song. As I said in my final pre-Oscars rant at the end of last week, (which you can still read here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/moviesawards-showskarens-rants-my-final-rant-about-the-2024-oscars-nominations,) none of this affects me personally, of course, but I hate baloney and unfairness.

Now here is my take on what I’m sure is on a lot of people’s minds about the Oscars. The In Memoriam number started-out so classily, with a heartbreaking clip of the late Alexei Navalny from last year’s Oscar-winning documentary about him. But it then devolved into being offensive in how they did it. The images of the people we’ve lost in this past year needed to be close-up, not so far away that the viewing audience couldn’t even make half of them out! They were giving us the view from the second balcony!!!

On top of that, they occasionally showed us five pictures at a time, so we didn’t even know where to look! And at what seemed like the end, with Tina Turner, they threw on about fifty more names in a hurry, with no pix, so we couldn’t make out any of them!!! (Perhaps the seemingly left-out Treat Williams was on there, but even if, it’s a shonda that he didn’t get his own “page!” He was a true movie star, and one of the nicest people. Since he definitely deserves a tribute, here’s the link to my own tiny one: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/r-i-p-treat-williams-r-i-p.)

Andrea Bocelli singing during it was a nice touch, but even though I’m such a fan of dance, having that bunch of modern dancers was just distracting. (We couldn’t even see them so far away, either.) That entire In Memoriam presentation was just a disgrace on the part of the producers, writers, and director. Shameful.

Cillian Murphy and his wife had such a tender kiss when he won. And it was classy that he dedicated his victory “to the peacemakers everywhere.” Mr. X and I both said, “Good one.”

Christopher Nolan gave a lovely, classy speech.

That was the best Jennifer Lawrence has ever looked!

Conversely, Jessica Lange. ‘Nuff said.

And why would Sally Field choose to look so dowdy?

Just to show you how full-of-beans those “former winners lauding the nominees” bits were, Tim Robbins erroneously calling DeNiro’s performance in Killers of the Flower Moon “Oscar-winning” wasn’t even the worst of them! That distinction goes to Forest Whitaker, who, when addressing nominee Colman Domingo, very earnestly said something about how worthy “Justin” was, when he meant the subject of Colman’s film, Rustin! And then, not taking note of the lesson, Charlize Theron told Annette Bening how wonderful her portrayal of “Diane” Nyad was, when the real-life woman is named Diana! It was all so creepy and pretentious, all the way around.

As much as I was rooting against Emma Stone to win for Best Actress, better she than one-note Lily Gladstone.

But it was classless that Emma kept mentioning her that her dress tore a little near the zipper in the back. First of all, no one saw it, and the few who possibly did didn’t care. And it was totally rude to the dress designer(s) who were probably fuming over her revelation. It wasn’t funny or charming, and had nothing to do with her win or acceptance of the award.

The best line of the night was when Jimmy Kimmel quipped back at Orange Hitler for his stupid tweet during the show, “Isn’t it past your jail time?” That it is.

Al Pacino messed-up the whole announcement of Best Picture! Firstly, he didn’t list the ten nominees, and then he added some weird words and inflection to saying, “Oppenheimer!” I think that, going forward, they have to make sure to have totally lucid presenters for the big awards.

That’s it for the show, but I do have one burning question around the festivities that I have never ascertained an answer to: why, and where, do all those women change their outfits after the telecast to go to the soirees? It seems so unnecessary. (Maybe I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow, in my coverage of all the arrivals.)