GRAMMYS 2023 ARRIVALS

In general, tweeting and writing about awards shows isn’t much fun anymore because you can’t say anything witty or snarky or honest about anybody involved without being accused of jealousy or fat-shaming or racism or trans prejudice or whatever.

So I started-out tweeting the recent Grammys very carefully. (My bon mots are still on Twitter if you missed them, so you can read them @MajorCelebrity. There are some good ones on there, if I do say so myself!)

I reviewed the whole show for you the other day, (very positively, I must say, not out of fear, but because the show was really good,) so now it’s the arrivals turn to get the Karen Salkin treatment.

There appeared to be only one national channel and one local one covering the red carpet festivities, and I watched just E, which was hard to get through. It’s all so phony.

And that woman interviewer on there, Laverne Cox, is just dreadful. She kept giving out a crazy high-pitched giggle at everything she herself said! And she cut-off the celebs, and very often didn’t even know who they are, so she had nothing to say to them; you could actually see her listening to the producers in her ear to help her out. It was downright embarrassing.

On the other hand, quite shockingly, the channel’s other host, Bobby Bones, (who I actually have no idea who he is outside of having won Dancing With The Stars a few seasons ago, despite being the worst dancer ever, which made the show change the rules the very next season,) did an okay job with his interviews.

Here are my thoughts on some of those interviews, or just visuals of some of the attendees arriving, in order that they appeared:

The “carpet” for the Grammy is always a bit weird because there are never just stars on it. There are soooooooo many categories for these awards, (rightly so,) therefore many of the nominees are not known to the general public.

LL Cool J was first up. E actually jumped the gun, and the inane women from the show before the red carpet one called him up to their stage-let before the real show was even on! I’m a fan of his for two reasons: the first is that we have the same January 14th birthday, so he must be wonderful!

The other is that I met him about a dozen years ago in New York. A friend introduced us at a party Russell Simmons was throwing at a club in the East Village in the middle of winter. As LL and I were chatting, I realized that I didn’t know what to do with my coat, because we L.A. club chicks never have one with us. I wondered about it out loud, and…LL told me to leave it with him at his booth and he’d watch it for me!!! How unbelievable is that??? There wasn’t much food at the party, but the waiters took a liking to me and sent me a giant platter of goodies! I told them to give it to LL and his pals instead. I don’t think he realized it was from me, but I was just glad to be able to give back to him for being kind first. (Aren’t we Capricorns the best?!)

Okay, now back to the arrivals, in the order they were shown.

Maren Morris and her very tall handsome husband, Ryan Hurd, looked sort-of like Lurch and Wednesday due to their height difference! (He’s 6’3” and she’s only 5’1”!!!) I wonder if they know what each other really looks like!

Bonnie Raitt is a great singer and appears to be a lovely person, but, honey—give the white streak in the front of your hair a break already! It’s like the old-time comedienne Rose Marie and her fakakta hair bow!

I never heard of Omar Apollo, but he seemed very sweet, lauded his family, and has the most beautiful skin!

Steve Lacy was pretty honest.  That idiot interviewer asked him if he was rooting for Beyoncé, when he was up against her!!! And he mentioned that.

I know that everyone loves Brandi Carlile, but her make-up was awful! It was all smudged under her eyes, and she looked like she had just awoken after a trying night.

It was a sad reason that Mick Fleetwood and Sheryl Crow were there, (to pay tribute to Christine McVie, Mick’s recently deceased Fleetwood Mac bandmate,) but when I saw them, my first thought was, “Finally, two people who belong there!” [Note: That’s the two of them in the picture at the top of this review.]

I finally figured-out why Shania Twain might be wearing these crazy wigs recently.  (A bright red one here, and a long yellow one somewhere last week.) I think she must have had a face lift, and doesn’t want to call attention to it, so she’s deflecting with the wigs.  And her idiotic red carpet outfit made her look like the Mad Hatter! Or a cow.

Miranda Lambert looked so—let’s call it hefty. Perhaps she’s preggers.

This is the absolute best Taylor Swift ever looked! Ever!!!

Jack Harlow was good to not answer that Cox woman’s inane questions. She actually asked him, “What story are you telling with your outfit?,” which is so pretentious to begin with. But he was wearing black rubber gloves as part of it, so I tweeted, “… to my eyes, the story is that he’s going to commit a crime tonight and doesn’t want to leave fingerprints!” Good one, right?

Pharrell always seems nice.  And I like that he told that inane host that it’s nice to meet her, instead of making believe everyone knows each other.  But his outfit—ew.

Mary J. Blige looked so bad!  No one wants to see fifty-two-year-old wrinkly bare hips!!! (And during the show, she sat in front, looking absolutely miserable. I wonder what was up with that.) I like her, but I’m sure I wasn’t the only one thinking these things. (Actually, Mr. X was, too.)

OMG—That Laverne Cox had no idea who Smokey Robinson is at first, until the producers told her in her earpiece!!! She said, “My mother is the reason I know who you are.”  How rude is she?! She wouldn’t know who he is on her own???  She’s disgusting.

Why does Heidi Klum feel the need to show up everywhere, even when she does not belong there??? Enough already.

What the frig is wrong with Harry Styles. It was one dreadful outfit after another that night. (And always, actually.) I was in a circus when I was younger, and those clowns had nothing on this guy!

I’ve become a fan of Queen Latifah because of her TV show, but what was she thinking to wear her hair up so high that night? That was so rude to everyone who would be sitting behind her!

Actually, there was a lot of rudeness at the Grammys, in terms of people wearing high hair and big hats! Come on, people—please give a thought to your fellow show-goers!

I don’t know much about Machine Gun Kelly, so I was very surprised to see how much of a sensitive mess he is. My heart was breaking for him with all he had to say. It was so much deeper than regular red carpet chit-chat. But that creepy Cox woman just kept interrupting him. Even Mr. X was yelling at the TV, “Let him finish!!!” That was awful of her.

And then, everyone was in the auditorium, and the show began. (And so did my review of it. Here’s the link to my full Grammys article, in case you missed it and are too lazy to go back a page: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/awards-showmusic-grammys-2023.)

So, tomorrow I’m going to tell you about a fabulous pre-Grammys event. And that will be a wrap for my Grammys week. Then on to the rest of show business!