GOLDEN GLOBES 2026

I’m so sorry that it’s taken me a week to finally get to my review of this year’s Golden Globes. I had planned it for this past Friday, but then on Wednesday, January 14th, I decided to take the rest of my birthday week off after that day’s festivities. In the immortal words of Dickens’ Bob Cratchit, “I was making quite merry.”

And I have to say that the usually very fun Globes were pretty boring for the most part this year, so my mind kept going to sleep as I was working on this article about it. But, never fear—here we are now! And better late than never, am I right?

Actually, last Sunday, right in the middle of one of the biggest sports days, I had to make the hard decision to pause a couple of football play-off games, and postpone watching the sure-to-be-dramatic announcement of the Olympic figure skating team, (with accompanying Skating Spectacular,) to watch the Golden Globes on time, in order to live-tweet about them a bit.

But, of course, I could not share even a tenth of my many thoughts on that platform that night. (Especially since the app on my phone wouldn’t work!) You might want to check-out my tweets from that night because I didn’t want to copy them here. (If you don’t yet follow me on Twitter, my handle on there is @MajorCelebrity.)

My overriding thought on the whole shebang is that this was a bunch of mostly mieskeits, making believe they’re someone. Most Golden Globes guests aren’t sparkling celebrities anymore, (as this show used to consist of.) Now they’re just somewhat-working actors.

Because I’m time-constrained while writing this, these are my raw notes, as I jotted them down that night. (But no worries for the future—I plan to write full reviews of all the major awards shows that are coming up in the next six or so weeks.)

That also means that I watched less than half of the arrivals, and I just could not force myself to peruse them on my DVR in the ensuing days.

E CHANNEL ARRIVALS

Amongst all the baloney, Janelle James looked gorgeous.

What’s up with all the short men with much taller wives? (I’m talking about you, Benny Blanco with Selena Gomez, and Nick Jonas with Priyanka Chopra.)

Are those short husbands the reason for those steps on the red carpet?

No one really looks great.

CBS ARRIVALS

Kathy Bates actually looked the best! She looked adorable in her little prom dress.

I appreciated that the woman interviewer and Kristen Bell complained about how hot it was on the red carpet, which was inside this year. And then they discussed that they’re perimenopausal, which was more than a tad odd.

I love Jean Smart, especially having met her a few times. (Back in the day, Mr. X had done a sitcom episode with her, and then another one with her husband, during which she and I sat together. Then, just a few years ago, we bonded over some pretty shirts at a gifting event, so much so that the reps thought that Jean and I were besties!) I love that on this red carpet she bemoaned how horrible things are in this world right now. She was the only one I heard talking about the sad situation at that point in the arrivals. She said, “It’s very concerning.” Everyone should have been saying it! At least most of the arrivees looked sort-of subdued and depressed, as all normal folks are these days, which I understood, of course, and appreciated.

Several guests, such as Amanda Seyfried, (of whom I’m actually a fan,) need posture lessons.

Pamela Anderson was torturous to the male interviewer, giving just one or two word answers. Weird. But good for her! Those interviewers are sooo annoying!

Jennifer Lopez looks the most like what a movie star should look like!

SHOW

I was glad to see how little applause the not-great host, Nikki Glaser, received when she walked out. (That dearth was most likely due to her offensive monologue on SNL in November, which I wrote about right here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/karens-rants-that-creep-nikki-glasers-offensiveness.)

But at least she was a bit better than when she hosted this show for the first time a year ago, mainly because she semi-lashed-out at the idiots in the government. And at even the Golden Globes’ CBS bosses! So good for her for that.

And thank goodness she wasn’t offensive this time, but she also wasn’t very funny.

George Clooney appeared to not be amused by her.

And we definitely did not need two bumbling, mumbling guys, (who were mostly heard and not seen, at least,) telling us who was greeting whom when they won. We could see it for ourselves! (And people who literally can’t see have that special description feature on their TVs.) It would have been nice to have one relatively intelligent and informative person telling us some interesting background on the winners and presenters, as I did all night for Mr. X. (He said that I should have been the behind-the-scenes reporter. The men in question were people named Kevin Fraser and Mark Malkin. I think the producers must have said, “Get Salkin,” but the booker made a mistake and got Malkin instead!)

It was nice that married couple Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick presented together. Married presenting duos rarely happen.

Even though I rarely have time to do so myself, I agree with Stellan Skarsgård’s sentiment that “cinema should be seen in cinemas.”

Did Sean Hayes have a nose job? He looked so odd.

When Jean Smart won, rather than reiterate her red carpet thoughts on this worrisome world, she just implored everybody to “do the right thing,” which I, of course, love.

When Glaser started singing, (in a stupid, waste-of-time bit,) Mr. X rightly declared, “Not a singer.”

And then to make that segment even worse, Fran Drescher, who has the worst voice known to man, showed-up. And she went on the stage carrying with her purse, no less.

Surprise winner Rose Byrne seemed nice. But I have a bit of wardrobe advice for her: you don’t wear a dress with a train to a place where people will more than likely step on it!

Rose gave the best, most heartfelt speech. But why did her hubby, Bobby Cannavale, (whom Mr. X and I have always enjoyed,) feel it was more important to go to a weird pet expo, (looking for a lizard called a bearded dragon,) than to come to LA with his nominated wife and support her, win or loss???

Rose and Timothee Chalamet were the most outwardly grateful winners, along with Adolescence writer/actor Stephen Graham, whose speech actually made me cry.

Actress Kathryn Hahn could not have looked more homely. Does she own no mirrors?

The best presenter was, very surprisingly, Judd Apatow. But he should not have said, “I don’t know how to pronounce this,” when announcing the Best Director winner. It was Paul Thomas Anderson, but his dumb joke made the foreign directors, such as Guillermo del Toro, think that he himself was the winner, not someone with the most normal name.

Michael Keegan-Key and Mila Kunis were an amusing presenter team.

I never heard of winner Rhea Seehorn, and had just heard one mention of her show, Pluribus, a few days before (when one friend said she was going to watch it,) but her voice is torturous! Even Mr. X said so. So how did someone know her to write a show for her??? (She said that’s what the writer did.) Even her presenter, Dakota Fanning, called her Rhea Seeborn! And not as a joke—she obviously had never heard of her either. (So perhaps there’s still hope for the rest of us.)

When the TV show, The Pitt, was described, I asked Mr. X, “Why would anyone want to watch a realistic medical drama? We see it every day when we wake up!”

I guess that director Chloe Zhao doesn’t care about having clean, attractive hair. I wouldn’t be seen in my house, alone, even sick in bed, looking like that! Did she not know she was going to an awards show??? And might even win?!

It was disgusting that they gave-out the award for Best Score during…a commercial! How rude! Yet they allowed the host to sing, (and I use that term very loosely,) what they had erroneously hoped would be an amusing song, and also let some of the presenters go on and on. What a rotten decision by the producers.

Another not-good aspect of the telecast was that they added a pair of inane awards this year—one for stand-up specials and the other for podcasts. Yes, you read that right—podcasts! But they made no time to honor the performers who were receiving the semi-prestigious Cecil B. DeMille and Carol Burnett awards. Those are the only segments that viewers, along with the on-site audience members, really look forward to. They’re usually pretty interesting. That’s the place where Jodie Foster came out, which caused a major stir in the world of showbiz. I told Mr. X that I was shocked that they had cancelled those awards this year, which is what I, of course, assumed had happened. But it turned-out that they gave those two awards out, to Helen Mirren and Sarah Jessica Parker respectively, in a separate event…five nights before the actual Golden Globes. That meant that the people who were involved or even cared about those two awards had to spend yet another night on this nonsense. And get another party outfit and get dolled-up again. That’s just crazy! So much is wrong with doing it that way.

To fix the above, they need to cancel those two unnecessary categories, (or give those out during commercials!); have fewer, (and quicker,) presenters; seat nominees closer to the stage to have shorter walk-up times; and very especially, have the host, (whomever it may from here on out,) do much less. Then add maybe a half hour to the telecast, and let the people see the two prestigious awards!!! Problem solved.

Mr. X and I always predict, (with a majorly winning record, I’m proud to report,) who will win these awards, which are bestowed by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, because the winners are often…foreigners! Duh.

Now, on to the upcoming awards shows. There are the Grammys and Actors, (which is the new name for the former SAGs,) on the same night, followed a few weeks later by the Oscars. If you haven’t yet read Part I of my Mini Movie Reviews, here’s the link: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/movie-reviews-mini-movie-reviews-2026-part-i.

I plan to have Part II ready by the end of next week, so keep an eye out for that one, as well, if you enjoy honesty and anti-ass-kissing.