THE 2025 TONY AWARDS

I had absolutely no plans to review the Tonys this year, but the second it began, with Cynthia Erivo looking very much like Gollum, I knew I had to go for it. (I checked afterwards, and discovered to my surprise that I had reviewed the Broadway awards show only in 2010, 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016. So we were all due for a new one.)

I’ll go in order in a moment, but first I must say that to hear Adam Lambert sing for even those thirty seconds during the opening number was worth every second of my time! Before I saw that it was him, I said, “That guy can sing! He put them all to shame. I’m so happy for him for all his success!!! The second time I ever heard him sing over a decade ago, I told him that it was a religious experience, (which he loved,) and it still is. I had forgotten that he’s a Broadway star now, having just finished his run in Cabaret.

After watching the televised uber-depressing downer play, Good Night and Good Luck, that afternoon, (it had run live on CNN the night before, but sports had taken precedence that day, of course, so I recorded it and watched it the next day, before the Tonys,) I really needed the color and music of the Tonys.

But I was shocked that no one politicized their speeches. At all. Not even a little bit. I had been looking forward to what I expected was coming from the mostly intelligent crowd.

Cynthia did a good enough job of hosting, however the show, (or at least I,) really did need Hugh Jackman!!! He would have been perfect again. Oh well.

At least Cynthia sure can sing. But Mr. X said that all her outfits looked very Christmas-y, and he was absolutely correct in that assessment. It was weird. (And her forearm tattoos just made her arms look like they’re inky black. Mr. X erroneously thought it was some gauzy thing she was wearing. We were also fascinated with how crazy long her fingers are, not even counting her insane fake fingernails.)

Now let’s go in the same order that the Tonys did:

Why was Oprah Winfrey there??? She thinks she looks like a stick now, after denying her Ozempic use for so long, until people like yours truly outted her. She still looks awful, though.

How did George Clooney wash the black color out of his hair in the five hours since his final Good Night and Good Luck performance that afternoon??? I thought it was the semi-permanent kind, not the do-it-every-day kind.

Samuel L. Jackson was a bad sport about his wife, LaTanya Richardson Jackson, not winning in her category. His demeanor was downright rude. But totally honest.

WTF was Katie Holmes wearing??? Mr. X said, “Isn’t that the top you wear when you’re getting your hair cut?” Not only is each piece ugly on its own, but together they’re barf-city. Has Katie no mirrors in her house??? And she couldn’t even walk in that tight skirt. Her outfit was sooo ugly, in fact, that I did not even notice how awful her co-presenter, Danielle Brooks, looked! At first. Not only did Danielle’s caftan, or dress or whatever that was, make her look like a house, but that sticking-straight-up-in-the-air hairdo was brutally unfair to anyone sitting behind her! I never understand how people are so rude to not give a fig about people who are unfortunate enough to be sitting behind them. (I used to have a boyfriend with a giant afro, and we always requested to sit in the last row to not inconvenience others.) Speaking of hair, I guess Katie didn’t have time to do hers that day. She looked like she was about to sit in the make-up chair! I could go on and on. But there are so many others to criticize review.

What a great story about the tux from Francis Jue of Yellow Face. It made me cry.

There are so many talented people in Buena Vista Social Club.

Of presenting duo Adam Lambert and Charli D’Amelio, Mr. X said, “Not often do you find the guy with way more make-up,” after I pointed-out that she forgot to wear any! And she couldn’t even speak right.

I like Jonathan Groff, but he’s sooooo not Bobby Darin! Groff playing Darin is just a little less dreadful than when forty-five-year-old Kevin Spacey pathetically cast himself in the role of twenties-and-thirties Bobby in a movie! The number that Jonathan did on the Tonys was, in the vernacular of the time, nowheresville, man. That performance was what Mr. X said he’d expect if the star couldn’t make it that night. (And I think it was rude of Cynthia to point-out that Jonathan spits when he sings. It’s an in-joke, but not one for the public to focus on, although the astute among us already knew about that situation.)

Glenn Close actually looked the best there. Mr. X pointed-out that she was wearing sheer gloves, though, because hands are where age shows.

But what the heck was Nicole Scherzinger, of Sunset Blvd., doing??? She can really sing, but that was a very odd rendition of the very famous and stunning song, As If We Never Said Goodbye. (We watched videos of Glenn Close, Patti LuPone, and Elaine Paige singing the same boffo number right afterwards, and Nicole’s performance lacked the emotion, pathos, and especially acting skills that the other three divas possessed.)

Winner Natalie Venetia Belcon, from Buena Vista Social Club, speaks the best. She gave an adorable acceptance speech, letting us know that Jason Momoa was her “first obsession.”  I was happy for her before I even heard her speak because she looked so regal and sang so powerfully in the number from the show she had done earlier.  She appeared to be beautiful all the way around—speech, diction, face, posture, being.

Pirates! The Penzance Musical looked like my high school Sing. And that’s not a compliment, trust me.

Sam Pinkleton, who won his Tony for directing the play Oh Mary, said in his speech, “We can bring joy to people at the end of a crappy day. And that is a big deal.” That’s what I’ve always been about myself—giving strangers their flowers when I see something good; I always want to lift people up when I can.

And Michael Arden, the director who won for the musical Maybe Happy Ending, ended his speech with the very amusing, “And if there are any queer people watching tonight…[long pause,] happy pride.” (If you don’t get it, it’s because gay people are definitely watching anything to do with Broadway!)

The In Memoriam segment was extra sad this year. There were way too many people whom Mr. X and I knew personally, (such as Jules Feiffer for me, whose very talented daughter Kate I’m still friends with,) and it ended with way-too-young-to-die and much beloved and talented actor, Gavin Creel, whose death many of us, including Sara Bareilles, (who sang during that segment,) are still not over.

I like it when the pair of presenters is a good one. In this case it was Jean Smart and Sarah Paulson, two women I really like and admire. I’ve met Jean a few times, (Mr. X worked with her, and then her late husband, on two different sitcoms, so I met her then, and later on, she and I were acting so friendly at a gifting event one time that a sponsor thought we were besties!,) and I can attest to that she’s as sweet as she seems.

How did Dead Outlaw get made to begin with, let alone get nominated for Best Musical??? It’s like something I would have seen in a little theatre and refused to even review it. We were appalled that the number they did is the highlight of the show!!! So how bad is the rest of it?!

Lea Michele looked better than just about everybody! She looked like a star is supposed to—beautiful hair, great body, appropriate hands and nails, and exuding happiness. What’s not to like?

The stupid bit that Cynthia did with Oprah seemed unending.

Cecily Strong had her baby over two months ago, but still looks very preggers. Maybe because she’s not young. She should ask Lea Michele how she lost her baby weight.

Operation Mincemeat: A New Musical has the most unattractive cast I’ve ever seen.

Actually, most of these shows look like crap.

They threw Ariana DeBose a bone to present since they replaced her as host after three years doing that gig.

Darren Criss gave a great acceptance speech; he got in every aspect that he intended to, including lauding his wife to the nth degree! But I was wondering if he wore a, let’s just call it far-from-hetero, outfit and polished nails to try to fit in with the assemblage.

Speaking of outfits, the most ill-fitting suit of the night belonged to none other than the wonderful Lin Manuel-Miranda. Go figure.

Okay, that’s all the notes I had time to jot down, given that I had no plans to review the Tonys to begin with! And that I had spent the most hours of Sunday watching the portent-of-these-days Good Night and Good Luck, then the Yankees game, then the horrific ICE creeps riots here in LA, and finally Game 2 of the NBA finals before I even started on this awards show, so I was painfully drained by then. Still, I recognize the incredible talent involved with most of Broadway, and applaud them all for their efforts, no matter what I said about them here. But I always have to be honest and call ’em as I see ’em.