US OPEN 2019 WRAP-UP

Well, the final Major tennis tournament of the year is finally over, (this time, it felt like it took a month instead of two weeks,) and it went only half my way. I could not be more thrilled that Serena Williams lost, especially in the Final when she and her team (and the idiot commentators,) all just assumed she would win. Her defeat was beautiful. Mr. X dubbed it the “best tennis match” that he’d ever seen. So, major congrats to Bianca Andreescu for that stunning victory! And a big thank from all of us who realize what a creep Serena is.

On the men’s side, though, I’m always sick when Roger Federer doesn’t win a tournament. And I’m extra-upset that Rafael Nadal won this one, putting him closer to Roger’s Majors record. But what a frigging incredible final this was, mainly thanks to the runner-up, twenty-three-year-old Daniil Medvedev from Russia. What a fight he put up, taking Rafa to a fifth set. It was truly amazing to watch. And he was absolutely charming and amusing in his post-match speech. I really got a kick out of Daniil this whole tournament, even when he acted way too feisty for his own good. I wish he had won, of course, but he definitely gave me hope that he can beat not only Rafa but also Novak Djokovic forever after, so they win no more from here on out.

As to this wrap-up, I realize that I should have just tweeted every one of these thoughts throughout the tourney, but I was always behind in my watching. (Shame on life for getting in the way of my sports obsession!!!) So I didn’t want to run the risk of finding out results from my fellow tweeters. But, luckily, it’s all here for your reading pleasure now.

Speaking of tweeting, one of the most amusing things that happened during the tournament was personal. That idiot ESPN on-air host I often ridicule for her illiterate pronunciations, Chris McKendry, blocked me on Twitter!!! Because I’d tweet begging her to please stop saying “sawL” and “drawL” for “saw” and “draw.” So, rather than taking the correction, (which a person on TV should not need to begin with!,) she choose to block me. I love it!

Another headline is that I did a complete one-eighty on defending champion Naomi Osaka this tourney. (And then two days later, I came back to the dark side on her a bit. But read on to find-out all my thoughts on it.)

This is weird—on both sides, the semis wound-up being three young ’uns and the veteran with a million titles, who was the favorite all along!!! And it was the first semi for both players in one of the semis, for both genders. Very interesting.

Okay, let’s get to my brief daily thoughts on the US Open already! My linear mind has to go in order, so I’m going day-by-day:

FIRST MONDAY

Idiot ESPN host Chris McKendry started-out showing her stupidity right off the bat—she said, “All the courts are coverage,” instead of the correct “covered.” Oysh. And she didn’t even correct herself, so perhaps she thought that was the correct word! (Mr. X said, “Don’t they know you’re watching?  They must not.”) And then she said they’re waiting for someone to “bake through,” instead of “break through!”

New commentator Alexandra Stevenson, (the illegitimate daughter of Dr. J, who there was a major fuss about when that story broke about twenty years ago,) is awful!!! She interrupted her colleague during her very first on-air convo, to read a very unimportant quote from Serena! Alexandra said, “Sorry to interrupt you, but I wanted to tell this. I think the people would love it.” And then it was a nothing quote, and ended with Serena saying, “Because I have God with me…,”  like he or she is not looking-out for others! Very obnoxious quote, which should not have been shared on-air, and even worse is that it sat there like a bomb until the host quickly changed the subject. What an idiot!

One of my proudest Twitter moments—I tweeted this to ESPN on Monday: “Hey, ESPN—when you show us the IBM Highlights, you need to ID the players, for goodness sake!!!” And guess what? They rectified that situation the very next day!!! They had been doing it without the names since at least this time last year, and I had never told them to fix it before, so I seriously am sure my tweet had a lot to do with it. (I know they read mine directed to them—I’ve gotten private replies before.)

Sloane Stevens really cracked me up with her dryly funny comments on Serena Williams still playing at this late age. She said of Serena, “She must really love tennis.” And then, “If she keeps going like this, her kid might be playing with her.” My esteem for Sloane just grew.

It’s interesting that this was the first time that Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova faced each other at the US Open.

On Serena’s on-court attire, I went from, “Now that is a gorgeous outfit,” to, “Oh, she looks like an idiot,” in one second, as soon as they panned down from the attractive top to the ridiculous short bottom of the one-piece. (She must have finally realized what she looked like, too, because in the second round, she put a skirt over the bottom.) And then on top of all that, she paired the already-long-sleeved outfit with a long black coat!!! In the heat of the New York summer! She must be insane.

I was very surprised that Maria did not go big with her outfit. I wonder what her thinking was. Maybe to show that she’s not even going to try to be competitive in that category, so she’s going cute and young with her dress, with a little oomph in the back.

The host mentioned ever so briefly that young American Amanda Asimov had to drop-out of the tournament because her father had suddenly passed away the week before. And then they never mentioned it again!!! How terrible of them. Had it been Coco Gauff, they would have discussed it ad nauseum. (And they never said another word about it the entire tournament! And trust me—I watched every second of it! Disgraceful.)

What is up with the ball kids’ outfits?! They look like they’re on the way to their second jobs—at Hot Dog on a Stick!!!

FIRST TUESDAY

That Halloween outfit of Osaka’s totally clashes with her sneakers. Ugh. It literally made me nauseated.

Nutty commentator Brad Gilbert said, “Nothing about yesterday matters other than today.” I think he’s aiming for Yogi Berra status!

OMG—now he actually pronounced “larynx,” as “larAnIx!!!” How stupid can he be???

Later on, he said “explicits” for “expletives.”

Sloane Stephens’ outfit looks like some high school girl just hitting with her friends, not that of a recent US Open Champion.

OMG—ESPN heeded my tweet to name the players in the highlights!!!

In the middle of his winning service game, Nick Krygios said, “I could not have picked a more boring sport as a profession.” I love him!

FIRST WEDNESDAY

There were only eight matches all day because of rain, so not much to report here.

But Serena Williams could not have given a colder fish, non-smiling-at-all handshake to seventeen-year-old fellow American, Catherine McNally, after needing three sets to defeat the girl. What about her phony baloney about trying to help the younger generation of Americans? Or is that only her lies when she’s asked about Coco Gauff???

FIRST THURSDAY

Petra Kvitová is the classiest, loveliest, most gracious athlete that has ever been! You can never tell whether she just won or lost by how she greets her opponent at the net; she’s as lovely in defeat as she is in victory. I wish that all players would take a page from her book. Especially Serena Williams, the worst sport in all of tennis.

Thank goodness Naomi Osaka changed that hideous clown outfit!!!

I can’t believe that Roger did a commercial for cheap pasta!!!

Analyst Darren Cahill said this about having John Isner’s serve: “I’d be smiling because I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and just lay wood to someone. That would just be perfect.” Uh, doesn’t that sound kind-of creepy, if you get my drift?

That was shameful of Benoit Paire to have not shaken hands with his defeater, Aljaz Bedene, nor the umpire. Yes, his was a devastating loss, but you still have to shake hands. What poor sportsmanship.

At a previous tournament, when Taylor Townsend lost to Simona Halep, she asked her afterwards how she could get better. I bet Simona regrets being nice now—she should not have given Taylor any suggestions.

My review of Taylor Townsend: Pretty girl, gorgeous teeth, real emotions, not a d-bag at all, speaks well, (except for annoyingly beginning every sentence with the idiotic, “I mean,”) good player, but…she has got to lose at least fifty pounds!!! I can’t believe she can even move at all at this weight!!! I’m not being mean—I’m being honest. And helpful, if she reads this and it motivates her to do it already!!! (And yellow nails, especially talons, are vomititious.)

Interviewer Renee Stubbs said to Taylor, “Girl, it was all you today.” She’s never called a white girl “girl.”

Coco Gauff is the worst sport. You always want to root for a young girl, but she’s just awful. Mr. X kept asking why I don’t like her, and then he watched her second round match against Timea Babos, and by the end, he totally disliked her, too. Anyone who’s not just “following the crowd” should feel the same way. Hopefully, she’ll learn to be nicer as she matures.

And learn to speak better, as well. Coco said that Naomi Osaka is “thriving for more,” when she meant “striving.” And it was not the verbal version of a typo—she meant it! Oysh.

FIRST FRIDAY

It’s good to see how much joy Nick Krygios gets from playing doubles. He always says he wishes he had chosen basketball to play instead of tennis, so clearly, his spirit is more in team sports than singles. He’s not a solitary guy, which might be why he’s always talking to the crowd during his singles matches.

Chris Evert was by far the best commentator this time. She seemed pretty fair and not rooting for anyone in particular, as all the others seem to always do.

I’m happy for American Dennis Kudla to have had the experience he did, even knowing he did not stand a chance against Novak Djokovic. Playing the world #1 on Arthur Ashe court (which is the #1 court at this tourney,) at night under the lights at the US Open—wow. And he played some memorable points, too, including one of the best trick shots of the whole tourney! And he won several games, many more than expected.

FIRST SATURDAY

This is the most amusing thing Jason Goodall ever said: “You never ever want to look too closely at tennis players’ feet, that is for sure. So let’s keep our distance there, as he takes a medical time-out.”

OMG—in the space of a few seconds, Brad Gilbert said, “You never have anything to lose,” and then immediately after, when his co-commentator called him out on it, he said that people always have something to lose and added, “One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say, ‘You have nothing to lose.’” What is wrong with him??? His on-air partner, Cliff Drysdale, should have told him that he, Brad, is the one who just said it!!!

Coco Gauff at least has pretty hands. But she needs to lose those dragon-lady fake nails! They’re so ugly and far from age-appropriate. (She’s fifteen.)

Naomi Osaka was a heartwarming class act this night. What sportsmanship she showed. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. And you know that I watch a ton of sports. In case you missed it, she beat the pants off fifteen-year-old Coco Gauff in this round, despite the entire crowd rooting for the young American. So at the end, she brought Coco over for the on-court interview, which was supposed to be with just Naomi, so that Coco could talk to the crowd. Naomi really took the edge off the loss for Coco. And for a twenty-one-year-old to even think to laud someone else’s parents for how they raised their daughter is amazing. (I hate that people are making like this was classy of Coco, too. No, it was not—it was all Naomi!)

FIRST SUNDAY

This was interesting: Yesterday, Nick Kyrgios tweeted, “Who the hell is Tom Rinaldi and why is he commentating a tennis match when he has no idea what’s going on.” Then Tom actually interviewed Nick on the way out to the court, and they were both laughing about it.

So, without referencing it specifically, the next morning, when Alexandra Stevenson was about to call a match with Tom, she said, “As the daughter of a sports journalist, I’m honored to be calling the match with you today.” That’s all because Tom is really a sports journalist, and not a former player or caller of any other sports.

Even though Alexandra’s speech is not fun to listen to, and she begins every sentence with, “I mean,” I’ve come to admire her a tiny bit. She often calls it like it is. Of Naomi Osaka’s win over Coco Gauff the night before, she said, “It was great to see. I mean the match wasn’t so great, but the after interview with Mary Jo was lovely.”

She’s the only person I’ve ever heard reference ethnicity, and she does it in an honest, straightforward way. Yesterday, she said something to the effect that Coco and Naomi’s success is good for “black tennis.” (They’re both black. Duh.) The director must have said something in her ear, because then she said, “Black-Americans,” which is not true because Naomi is black and Japanese. But I appreciate the effort. And in another match, when she lauded a player’s hitting, Tom asked, “How so?,” to which she answered, “She’s got spin on it, it’s not as flat as most typical Asian girls.” That’s an interesting tidbit, but most of them are too timid to bring up ethnicity.

Now she just referenced size! I can’t believe I’m now loving her! (When talking about the power of “petite” player Qiang Wang, she said, “She might be a size 2.”)

Roger’s win in the Round of 16 today was amazing!

In an interview, Rafa Nadal mentioned that the tournament he runs at his academy in Spain is free to everyone!!! That’s very cool of him. (He is a nice guy—I just never want him to win and get closer to Roger’s Majors record.)

When Chris Evert saw skinny molink Daniil Medvedev play, she said quite honestly, “I want to cook him a meal.”

I’m so happy for Elina Svitolina to have gotten this far, and keep on winning. She’s a lovely young lady.

The headline of the day—defending champ Novak Djokovic had to retire in his quarter-final match with a shoulder injury!!!

SECOND MONDAY—ROUND OF 16

Cliff Drysdale said of Naomi Osaka’s Round of 16 loss to Belinda Bencic, “She played so well against Coco Gauff; so well for Osaka. She has not been the same today.” Duh. Of course she hasn’t! Belinda is a zillion times better player than Coco is, so Naomi had to play much better than she did!!!

Chis Evert said of Naomi after her Round of 16 defeat, “She’s gracious in defeat like she is in victory.” But no, she is definitely not!!! She’s never gracious in defeat!!! (This is the other turn-around on her that I did, that I referenced at the top of this article.)

And then, when Chris tried to blame the loss to Bencic on Naomi’s knee, Cliff Drysdale softly corrected her, “That was more of a problem than her knee—the fact that she was up against Bencic, who played so well.” Good for him!!!

I looove Kristie Ahn!!! She’s so mature, delightful, intelligent, and well-spoken. I really hope that she becomes a commentator when she’s done playing, as opposed to entering the tech world, which is what she says she’s aiming for now.

Idiotic Alexandra Stevenson said about Serena winning this tourney, “Everybody would hope that happens.” Uh–speak for yourself John. Or Alexandra. Many, many of us hope that poor sport never wins again!!!

I’ve never seen this before—in the middle of her service game near the end of the match, Canadian (and eventual Champion here) Bianca Andreescu retied her hair on top of her head! It wasn’t wrong; I’ve just never seen anyone care about it anymore. She didn’t do it for looks, but for comfort. I love that she did it! (Of course, jingoistic Pam Shriver hated it because Bianca was playing an American.)

SECOND TUESDAY—QUARTER-FINALS

Chris Evert has become my fave commentator this time! She’s been so honest and informative.

Roger lost today, because he injured his neck. I’m way too sad to discuss it.

SECOND WEDNESDAY—QUARTER-FINALS

Brad Gilbert, who often misspeaks, said “demonchrative” instead of “demonstrative.” Mr. X and I were so incredulous at it that we listened to it several times, not believing our ears!

Even though I’m such a fan of Mateo Berrettini’s good looks, (and abs,) I was totally rooting for Gael Monfils, who almost did pull out an amazing win. But still, that match between the two lovely, talented guys was the best one I had ever seen at this point. So much drama.

People think I hate Rafa Nadal because I love Roger Federer so much. But I totally recognize that Rafa is an all-around good guy; I just never want him to win a Major ever again! And I appreciate that he’s usually very honest, and doesn’t go along with the interviewers’ bullshit questions. He often has a wonderful better answer. Before this particular match, Tom Rinaldi asked him, “Another major quarterfinal—primetime at Ashe. How do you describe the opportunity?” I love that Rafa’s answer was, “Every day is a single opportunity. No, every day in this life is an opportunity to do something.” Amen to that! (But he really does need to look into hair replacement. Just sayin’.)

SECOND THURDAY—LADIES SEMIS

I was so sad for my new fave female player, Elina Svitolina. But I thank she and her bae, Gael Monfils, so much for sharing their adorable love story with us, all tourney long. I really hope they both win a major together soon.

I was thrilled for newcomer Bianca Andreescu to reach her first Major Final, especially because I felt that she might be able to beat Serena Williams. But those a-holes at ESPN went off the air without showing her post-match on-court interview! How incredibly rude of them, to both the audience and Bianca!!! Major shame on them!

SECOND FRIDAY—MENS SEMIS

What I took away from the whole day—Mateo Berrettini is sooo gorgeous!!!

WOMEN’S FINAL

Bianca won!!! OMG! Mr. X and my hearts sang. What a win for this nineteen-year-old, who had never even been in a US Open before! And the best part is that she beat the pants off Serena Williams!!! Truly. We love her!

And then in her post-match press conference, when asked about the past four finals that she lost, sore sport Serena said, “Kerber doesn’t count because, like, I was exhausted and I was, my baby was eight months.”  Guess what bi-atch?  Angelique Kerber beating you at last year’s Aussie Open definitely does count!!! I can’t believe that Serena’s rudeness continues to amaze me at this point, but this one takes the cake. What a witch. I wish that she and her buddy, the jinx Meghan Markle, would just crawl in holes somewhere, and we’d never have to hear about them ever again.

MEN’S FINAL

I said it all above.

But ESPN majorly messed-up here, once again. They switched to another station for the extremely emotional trophy presentation! That means the only fans who did not miss it were the ones who were watching not even one second behind, which is practically no one in this age of DVRs! So we all missed it! And they switched over for—get this—a Yankees game!!! I’m the biggest Yanks fan out there, but I would have gladly missed one more inning to see what Rafa and Daniil had to say after an almost five hour all-out effort. Bad form once again, ESPN.

Whew—that’s it! I’m done with tennis-watching until next July! (Thank goodness—my heart, and stomach, cannot take much more of this stress.) Baseball play-offs, here I come!!!