AMERICAN IDOL: PIA’S “SHOCKING” ELIMINATION

 

I’m not the least bit upset about Pia’s elimination from American Idol last night. As a matter of fact, I’m relieved. That girl just did nothing for me, and I’m glad I don’t have to sit through anymore of her, in my opinion, erroneously ballyhooed performances. I would buy an album of hers, though, just in case my white noise machine breaks down and I need some other method of being lulled to sleep. I don’t dislike her at all; just her singing.

And, I’m sure that dreadful outfit that Gwen Stefani, one of the worst-dressed women of all time, despite having her own clothing line, chose for her, that looked like a bad scarf draped around her body like a sack of potatoes, with a Ubangi neck brace to boot, didn’t help at all. (All three girls did look miserable at having to wear Gwen’s choices.) Couple that with the awful song choice of River Deep, Mountain High, (there’s a reason we never hear it,) which demonstrated Pia’s total lack of stage presence, (guess she should have stuck with ballads,) and we have a loser. Just as the results showed. (Maybe now she can model for a dentist, because Idol always shows us the bottoms of teeth, which seem to have no fillings.)

Now, when Jacob, Stefano, and James get voted off, we’ll have us a competition. I think that Scotty will win, but I’d be just as happy if it was Casey or Paul, especially Casey because that boy is music.

Back to Pia. Much as I like Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler as judges this year, we really do need Simon for direction. I’ve got to give Randy his props for trying his hardest to fill the void with a modicum of honest criticism, but Simon would not sugarcoat anything and just cut to the chase. All this panel does is essentially tell everyone they’re great, and, rather unfortunately, Jennifer deems their weak performances “amazing,” the most incorrectly-used word in America.

And I hate when the judges (or anybody) say, “America got it wrong,” or statements to that effect. These are shows that are specifically designed for the audience to vote for their favorites, and that’s what they do. Yeah, the results are often unfair, in the sense that the “best” at something doesn’t win. But, “the best” according to whom? To the majority of voters, the winner is “the best”; that’s why they got the most votes–because the most people voted for them. Or at least some of the people the majority of times. (Each show has a different voting system.)

And that’s the way it is. Period. When judges declare the results to be “wrong,“ they should be asked just who should have been eliminated instead. No “judge” wants to state that. If the producers of these shows are so outraged, like when Brandy was elimated from Dancing With The Stars last season, they should change the voting process to have the public vote for the contestant they want to see voted-off, rather than ones they want to see continue on the show. That would make much more sense and be easier for the voters.

For example, if you like everyone on American Idol this year except for Jacob, and he’s who you want to see leave, wouldn’t it be easier to vote for just him, and not have to vote incessantly for the other eight contestants just so they have more votes than Jacob, so he’ll come in last? The whole voting situation is so stupid.

And, these controversies on American Idol are all the producers’ fault–they should have a vote limit per phone line. It would make it easier for us and would eliminate the crazy block voting. A website even sells a device that helps you speed-dial Idol! It’s for lunatics. But no–the producers always want to announce the “record-breaking” number of votes that came in. When Ryan Seacrest states, “We had fifty-five million votes tonight!,” Mr. X always says, “Yeah, from fifty-five people.” He may not be that far off.

So, back to Pia’s elimination. I had been out to lunch the day before with a handsome buddy of mine who’s a big television executive. Just from a personal point of view, he stated that Pia’s going to win, even though he thinks it should be Casey. (I agree with his latter assessment, by the way.) I was shocked. I said there’s no way that’s going to happen because she’s so boring.

Mr. X and I don’t get why the judges were making a fuss about her to begin with. She sings okay, she seems like a nice girl, she does the best make-up she can with a weird face, and she has a good enough body, although it’s a just a wee bit strange, too. But there is absolutely nothing that screams “STAR” about her whatsoever. She’s basic and boring. I can see her high school friends making a fuss about her singing, but no one else.

Maybe way back in the day, like maybe the fifties or sixties, the public had to go by the music first because no one knew what the artists looked like, and even less about their personalities. But nowadays, it’s all about the visuals and sound bites. Good, yet boring, singers are a dime a dozen. And that’s the category that Pia falls into.

Sure, American Idol is notorious for recent winners who are a snoozefest unto themselves, (David Cook, Kris Allen, Lee Dewyze,) but they’re guys, and females vote much more than guys do. Much more. The only way for a girl to win is to be a fashion icon and be young and fun; young female fans go nuts for the likes of Britney Spears and Beyonce. So, unless you’re an outrageously fun female, or a cute guy young girls can have crushes on, you’re not going to win.

And don’t deserve to, either. This is about who can be a music “idol,” and if people don’t vote for you, that means they’re not interested, which means you’re no idol. Period.

The only contestants I’m interested to see week after week this season are Casey, Scotty, and Paul. Yes, Paul. We’ve liked him from the beginning. He’s so interesting; we love watching him. We can’t understand why idiot commentators hate on him.

And, Scotty has grown on us sooooo much. I never cared about him to begin with, but I find myself giggling through all his recent performances, in a happy way. Anyone who can bring mirth into my life is fine by me. I think he’ll be a big star for generations, and hope I live that long to witness it. He’s the perfect country star. As a matter-of-fact, after his initial audition, as he left, Jennifer said, “He’s legendary. And we discovered him.” So, mark her, and my, words, and watch out for him, this season, and for years to come.

And stop feeling bad about Pia’s departure! You know you didn’t vote for her, either.