TELEVISION/KAREN'S RANTS: SEASON OUTCOMES OF DANCING WITH THE STARS AND AMERICAN IDOL

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SEASON OUTCOMES OF DANCING WITH THE STARS AND AMERICAN IDOL

 

Tonight we begin the new competition show, Duets, and this ninth season of So You Think You Can Dance. I need a break! A small one, but a break nonetheless. I know the networks throw these shows on right away, to capitalize on the preceding competition series, but I really wish they’d let us breathe for a minute. Oh well.

So, before we begin those two (well, I will, anyway; I don’t know about you guys,) let’s finish up my musings, and rants, about what we witnessed this week.

The only real class this show has ever seen, the Jennifer Holliday-Jessica Sanchez duet.

I was going to go in chronological order here, both in the shows and what was on them, but I have to weigh-in on this first: I’ve finally seen something more emotional to me than an Adam Lambert number; Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday singing the song this little girl (Jessica) has wanted to do with her idol since she was five! Mr. X, who’s seen a lot in his long career, said seeing and hearing them duet on And I Am Telling You was “the most thrilling moment in the theatre ever” for him. I’m going to use the clip for my diet; at the time they came one, I was eating, but just had to stop to breathe through what I was witnessing. I wound-up actually pushing the table away. And never took another bite all night! I was just too drained to eat.

I was still crying five minutes later, hysterically. I had to wipe the tears off my glasses before I could continue. I just wish they had shown us the after-scene longer because I wanted to share in everyone’s sheer joy. What a moment for everyone concerned.

Now, on to the more shallow endeavors of these two shows, this time in order:

 

DANCING WITH THE STARS—SEASON 14 FINALE

 

Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas doing their freestyle dance on the finale.

Katherine Jenkins was robbed! Truly. This is the most disgusted I’ve been since Season One, when no-talent, looking-like-Ruth-Gordon-when-she-danced, Kelly Monaco, won. I thought the viewers had acquired more taste since that original debacle, which had the nation so outraged that there was a dance-off with runner-up John O’Hurley a few months later.

As a fan of fairness, I cannot tell you how absolutely disturbed I am by Donald Driver’s win on Tuesday night. It’s downright disgusting. I know it doesn’t really count for anything in life, butI can’t stop being upset about it.

Usually, Mr. and I are so upbeat following the DWTS finales, no matter the results. We stay up watching all the post-show coverage, and I get up early the next morning for the afterglow to continue. Some of my choices haven’t won, but even at those times, the people who did emerge victorious usually at least deserved the win somewhat.

Mr. X just gave up after this one and went to bed after, while I just sat here, actually depressed over the underserved victory.

Did the voters not know it’s a dance show??? Ergo, the best dancer should be voted for!

This outcome is disgusting. I want the name of each and every person who voted for him. Donald’s stiff as a board. He shouldn’t have even been in the final! It should have been Roshon Fagan. Even Jaleel White and Maria Menounous were better than Donald.

I guess it was Donald and Peta’s copy of Cheryl Burke’s first freestyle, the cowboy dance that won it for her and Drew Lachey, that did it for them. I wish they had given them a shout-out for that, at least.

But Katherine and her partner, Mark Ballas, took the loss really well. Mr. X said, “I don’t think you could handle it any better than that.” I hear ya, bro!

Upon further reflection, (because I really do scrutinize every show, at least twice,) I realize that, by the producers having Donald and Peta go last on the finale, with that rousing cowboy freestyle, they probably got him massive votes from either undecideds or people who usually don’t vote at all. If Katherine had gone last with her wonderful flapper performance, those votes may have indeed gone to her. Shame.

I really wanted it to be Katherine because–duh–she’s the best dancer, by far. But I really thought William was going to win, and I would have been fine with that. But Donald winning is just torture. I guess I really am an Empath; I’m sick for Katherine!

I was somewhat happy for his partner, Peta, though, to go from last place last season, (her first as a pro on the series,) to first this year, but Donald’s holier-than-thou attitude all along was appalling. He was so full of himself every week, and it culminated with his final act on the show–he didn’t even hug Peta when they won! He ran around by himself, and she had to go over to him. Shame on him.

And he kept saying he was glad that he procured the win for her (although I don’t think he knows the word “procured”; he just said “got.”) But he had it way wrong–she‘s the one who won it for him!

He actually had the audacity to say, on-camera, “I made everybody’s dreams come true.” Get over yourself, Donald!

Here are some more possibilities from my maniacal analysis:

The other two had no American fan base. And athletes often win, but none less deserving than Donald. Half the winners over the fourteen season have been athletes.

Also, perhaps viewers, like I, didn’t like William Levy comparing not winning the show to leaving Cuba but not reaching America. (He said it on the last competition show, when people got to vote.) I would think that the latter scenario would be far more disappointing!

I also think that what may have hurt Katherine a little is their hard luck stories from last week: Donald’s was about his having to live in a van down by the river (okay, I’m exaggerating a bit, but only about the river,) while Katherine’s was that, after growing up in a lovely little Welsh town, that looked like Carmel in the video “package,” she was accepted into the most prestigious music school in Britain, and became a super-successful singer, but her fiancee broke up with her. Not much to help get the sympathy vote.

I would have thought Maria’s peeps would have transferred their votes to Katherine, but now I think that they were jealous of another chick being in the finals, so they transferred to Donald instead.

I can’t believe that I am so upset about this, after I had warned Mr. X to not be. I couldn’t sleep much, and after the two hours that I managed, just because I was exhausted, I woke up depressed, and wondered why. Then I remembered the last night’s results. At least I was depressed over someone else’s life and not my own! That’s a nice change of pace.

Outside of the results, this was the best finale EVER!!! The producers went all out with it.

Also, even though Donald doesn’t possess my taste in looks, this was the best-looking final three they’ve ever had.

Here are some of my thoughts for next season’s “All-Star” theme:

Every would-be, has-been, and never-was, in this country, (well, actually, the world, judging by this multi-cultural season,) is letting out a big sigh of disappointment over the repechage for next season, since it was announced that only returning “stars” would be competing. Now the next crop of no-names will have to wait till January for a shot at fifteen extra minutes of fame.

Also, they should feature either no past champions or all champs. Period. Don’t combine the two; it’s just too confusing. And why would a champ risk now losing? Or being eliminated first, before others you’ve already beaten?

Also, the show would need a “ringer,” like Kenny Mayne or Master P, to agree to compete, so they can be the first eliminee again. It would be really embarrassing for a past champion to be the first to go.

In ensuing seasons, they could have other themes: all comedy, all sports, all past winners, all past second-placers, all past last placers. That last one would be fun because only one person would be a double-loser.

 

AMERICAN IDOL–SEASON 11 FINALE

 

So, after those miserable DWTS results, I didn’t have high hopes for American Idol to do it right. And I was correct about who the winner would, so undeservedly, be.

I predicted Phillip’s win from about the Top Ten on. Even though he appeared to be a nice guy, this is a singing competition, so Mr. X and I kept hoping he would be voted off; but I kept warning Mr. X that he would win, and to not be upset.

We all should have seen it coming. Phillip was never in the bottom three, and Jessica was actually eliminated by the viewing audience once, only to be saved by the judges, deservedly so.

It rarely even matters in the long run who wins, as witnessed by the last few winners, but the producers should have changed the result after that Jessica-Jennifer duet!

The show was good enough as a finale, but why was Rihanna there, performing by herself? It had nothing to do with American Idol or any of the contestants. I don’t like that. It should always be about the kids. Even the judges performing is okay. But never an outsider by him or herself.

Part of the show was a sausage festival. But it wasn’t the guys!!! It was Chaka Khan and Fantasia Barrino in those skin-tight jumpsuits, with unbelievable VPL, no less!!! (Visible panty line, for those of you who have been shielded from it before.) Why would someone choose to look like that on national television?! I wouldn’t look like that in my own bathroom, and I’m not exactly a toothpick myself anymore, either. Why wouldn’t someone stop them??? Shame on the wardrobe department.

Chaka lost a ton of weight (but still not enough for a catsuit,) and Fantasia gained it. Sad to see the latter look like that.

And enough with the phony fans screaming in the “pit,”, who are really hired extras. Their hands are always in the way, on all music shows, blocking us from seeing the dancers. We don’t need people who are paid to stick their hands up and clap to tell me if us if we like a performance or not!!! I want to see the dancers’ feet, not some strangers hands waving about.

Skylar Laine was the most professional “amateur” up there! She really commands a stage, and always gives a fun performance. She really needs no polishing. She reminds me of Dolly Parton a lot, with a good, but imperfect, voice, and always happy to be performing for us.

Jessica was one of the very few finalists ever on this show to not looked drained and exhausted. And with how unbelievably talented she is, how much more can she even grow??? If and when she does, hold onto your hats, people.

Aerosmith’s performance was beyond anti-climactic after the Jes-Jen duet. (It reminded me of the time I saw pre-Idol Adam Lambert in a multiple-artist concert; he was in the middle of the show, and no one paid attention to the rest of the performers after he sucked the air out of the room; the star was really pissed about it backstage, and wouldn’t even come out to the party after.) But it was good because it gave me time to calm down and write this. And put some distance between that stunning performance by Jessica and the winner announcement, which, now that we know the results, was a major disappointment. The producers must have been embarrassed for everyone to see Jessica sing like that, and then lose to a guy who can barely carry a tune, so they had to put a basically lame performance in-between the two.

Phillip winning was actually an embarrassment. Worse yet, is that the evil people behind the site “Vote For The Worst” won. They made it their mission this season to get him the win. Nerds.

And what a snoozefest that was after the announcement. Think back to Scotty McCreery’s “victory lap” last year and compare.

I think Phillip will be successful, as opposed to past winners who are similar to him, (read: Kris Allen, David Cook, and the all-time big bust, Lee DeWyze,) but he definitely didn’t deserve the victory, especially after what Jessica had just done.

Well, that’s it for this season of these two shows. I have to let my talons rest a bit before the two new competition shows debut tonight. I’m sure I’ll need be needing them.

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