THE RUINATION OF PETER PAN BY NBC
Get ready for a barrage of exclamation points because this travesty has my blood boiling! (There’s your first one, as a matter of fact!)
When it comes to Peter Pan, as with afternoon tea, which is also a British import, I’ve learned over the years to be somewhat flexible. I had always wanted that particular repast to be served the way I learned it, in the former British colony of Malta, but I now accept that it can be presented in a variety of ways. (I will never, however, allow it to be erroneously called “High Tea” by nescients!!!)
The same with Peter Pan. Even though Mary Martin will always be the only Peter Pan for me, I now accept other versions of the iconic tale. I like the Disney cartoon, and even somewhat enjoy that it has a few different elements to the story, and an entirely different score, from the Broadway musical. I’ve also seen different versions of the classic story, including films like Hook, and shows like Peter and the Starcatcher.
I cannot, however, just stand-by while the powers-that-be at NBC ruin the Broadway version, and not rant about it!!!
I finally forced myself to watch The Making of Peter Pan a few nights ago, and it’s taken me this long to calm down.
Peter Pan is my favorite Broadway show, my favorite thing I’ve ever seen on television, and my favorite story. And who I actually am! (I’m not kidding; if you haven’t read the story of my Peter Pan birthday cake disaster, please read it here, when you’re done with this one, of course: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/holiday-happy-birthday-to-me-2013.) So to have NBC, and the producers of this live show that will be on tonight, ruin it, is literally making me sick. I cried for about an hour when I saw how they’re messing it up. (I’m not kidding—Mr. X was begging me to let him record my hysterics for my YouTube channel. But I’m afraid you will have to just imagine them. Unless I let him film me watching the show. That tantrum will be epic, I’m sure.) [Note: If you saw me sob my guts out on the local Los Angeles news a few years ago, when we got Clarence back after he had been stolen, you can imagine how unattractive it is. Although…I’ve been told that when I’ve cried on TV, it was like That Girl, one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive. But, I swear, this plaintive wailing looks nothing like that!]
Here are my many problems with this rendition, just from what I saw on the Making Of show. (And Mr. X is as upset about all of these as I!):
This is going to be the Peter Pan for all who are children now; they should have a better one. Actually, it looks like this whole production will be ruining it for kids everywhere!!! (Reading it back, that may be a tad harsh. Since the kids don’t know better, they’ll love it, I’m sure. They’re just ruining it for me.)
As if it all weren’t bad enough, YOU CANNOT HAVE SMEE ALSO PLAY MR. DARLING!!! IT HAS GOT TO BE CAPTAIN HOOK! OR IT IS NOT PETER PAN!!! Period. Mr. X’s theory is that that’s the only way they could get Christopher Walken to do the show—if he didn’t have to play both parts. Because it’s live and all, and that’s a lot to memorize. And do the costume changes. Mr. X is probably correct. I can see no other reason for this crazy change from…always! (It was this revelation that brought me to hysterics to begin with.)
And Allison Williams is certainly not Peter Pan!!! (Many reasons to follow. Trust me.) Why couldn’t they have gotten Cathy Rigby? Probably because on hi-def, she’d look a hundred-years-old. But she deserves to do it, and does the part justice. She’s been Peter Pan for about forty years now! (I’ve seen Cathy in the iconic role a few times now, the latest being almost two years ago, and she’s still great. She doesn’t try to change what Mary Martin did, at all! Her athletic prowess (yes, she still has it, in her sixties!!!,) allows her to enhance a bit, but other than that, she’s true to the original. [If you like, you can read my glowing review of that production here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/theatre-peter-pan.]
Allison is so nasal! I was willing to try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I seriously can’t take her nasality! Has no one ever told her about it??? What about her anchorman father?! Certainly, he knows what public voices are supposed to sound like, wouldn’t ya think? (Hmmm…guess what network’s news he does? One guess. That’s right–NBC!)
Allison has no soul. She’s just singing for herself, not for the viewers, and certainly not as Mary Martin did the songs—because Mary was Peter! Even at forty-seven years of age!!! If the backstage footage on this version is any indication, there’s no stretch to Williams’ body in any of her movements, flying or on the ground, and no child-like joy or innocence. She’s doing the part just so actress-y.
And Williams actually said that her lips get tired from doing an English accent!!! Yikes. What an idiot. I’ve never, ever, in my whole life, heard an actor complain of that!!! She should be drummed-out of SAG for that inanity! (And there’s no need for such fake English accents to begin with! Mary Martin’s cast just spoke well, for goodness sake!)
How did she get the part to begin with???
Seriously, I need to know how she got the part. (I guess check back to three paragraphs above.) The only thing I can cheer myself up with is that at least it’s not Anne Hathaway! (Mr. X said, “If she wasn’t such a douche-bag, it would have been!”) If they wanted an actress younger than Rigby, it should have been Sutton Foster! She sings great, dances great, and has charm and warmth, just like Peter should. And she’s not nasal and full-of-herself!
I like Christian Borle, and I expect him to be the second best part of this telecast, (after Walken,) but Smee is supposed to be small, for goodness sake!!!
And—this is a bad one–why did they make Nana a real dog??? It’s supposed to be a man in a dog suit. We kids looooove that!!! It’s part of the fun! And a tradition. Why didn’t they get a live crocodile, while they were at it??? Then maybe he could eat Allison Williams and we can be done with it!
Mr. X said this show is supposed to be fantasy, and they’re ruining the fantasy!!!
And don’t get me started on the new songs. Why oh why would they mess with a classic?! All I can say to that is, “Ugh.” Actually, “Ugg-a-wugg.” Which is not in this version anymore, either.
And how old are these Lost “Boys???” They all look around thirty-five! I’m sure you know by now that I’m all for dancers being employed, but were there not any younger ones they could have hired??? We know there are talented kid dancers/actors, so why hire thirty-year-olds? They’re all too big and too manly. They’re supposed to “Lost Boys,” not “Lost Men With Beards!” To have grown-ass men singing I Won’t Grow Up is just creepy.
Hey NBC—Are you ever going to do any shows that Mary Martin didn’t star in on Broadway? (She also starred in The Sound Of Music, which Carrie Underwood demolished last year.) And any that Ms. Martin didn’t do way better than the new versions? What’s next—South Pacific? (I hate to say it, but I have a feeling I’m correct. We’ll see.)
I will give NBC one thing, though—the sets look beautiful and creative.
But the fuss they’re making over it. Mr. X and I watched the 1960 live version with Mary Martin on YouTube the second we finished watching this Making Of show, and those old school folks managed to convey the wonderful story with basically nothing! It was glorious to see.
And at least the little kid is adorable. And enthusiastic.
I will watch tonight’s production, but not on time. (It’s not live to the West Coast, anyway. And DVRing it won’t ruin anything. But I wasn’t going to stay home and miss something fun just to get upset.) I think I need the week-end to do so, so that I’ll have time to calm down before I write my review of it. And, seriously, I’m willing to give it a fair shot. But I don’t have high hopes for my blood not boiling.
If you have children, good luck with it. Since they don’t know any better, I’m sure they’ll love it because, after all, this is still Peter Pan. And therein lies the magic.
[Note: I plan to review this production early next week, (even though I think that SNL will beat me to the punch this week-end, on the making fun of it,) and if I’ve been wrong about any of it, I promise to admit it. I’m saying up-front that I may enjoy the show, anyway, (and hope to!,) but all these elements listed above will still annoy–nay—pain me.]
2 Comments
Not a fan of Ms. Williams, so I don’t know if I’ll watch. Many things to think about in your review. I love what you said about Williams bringing no joy or innocence to the part and being “actress-y.” Also, totally agree with you about what she said re the English accent. Several actors have told me that playing a part in a foreign accent is one of the best, most challenging aspects of acting! And, Karen, you have once again taught me a new word: nescient.
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