“TALENT” COMPETITION WRAP-UP

 

Even I’m getting sick of all these supposed “talent” shows, where more than half the contestants are nothing special.

And the aspect I’m most sick of is the absolute incorrect use of the word “amazing.” It means something so out of the ordinary, that truly amazes us, not something that’s kind-of good. Many of Adam Lambert’s performances over the years have been truly amazing, especially the live rendition I saw of him singing I’m Changing, where the audience held its collective breath. Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk the first time on that Motown special was amazing. And much of what Cirque de Soleil puts out is amazing. What’s definitely not amazing is a bunch of very mediocre singers, who go flat and sharp constantly, singing songs their souls obviously have no connection to, (such as American Idol‘s Hollie trying Bonnie Raitt’s classic I Can’t Make You Love Me last night. Just pitiful. When Bonnie sang it, you wanted to slit your wrists over her pain. I like Hollie’s voice, but a sweet eighteen-year-old just can’t get there.)

And if I hear someone overuse “artist” one more time, I’m going to retch. (Actually, watching these shows could be my new weight loss plan!)

Almost equally nauseating, and time-wasting, is hearing these desperate-to-hear-their-own-voices judges over-talk and say nothing. They should just shut up and hold up their scores, like they do in judges sporting events.

Below are just a few more of my random thoughts on these silly spectacles.

 

AMERICAN IDOL

 

At least Steven Tyler tells the over-rated (except for Jessica and Joshua, who are fabulous singers) contestants how not good they are occasionally. But why has not even one person on earth, not even from the show, told him what “over the top” means???? It’s something bad! It means “too much,” “take it down at least a notch,” “not working.” But he keeps mis-using it, thinking it means “great!” Even the audience, who cannot possibly be comprised of rocket scientists, always seems confused as to whether or not they’re supposed to applaud because they think he’s being negative. This has been going on for weeks, and yet he continues with this stupidity. Shame on the powers-that-be over there, his agents, girlfriend, children, and even Ryan Seacrest, for not having corrected him when he first (or second or third…) mis-used the term.

Phillip always looks like he’s at rehearsal, in every respect, from wardrobe to hair to personal grooming to facial expression and attitude.

And he sings like he’s in pain constantly. Actually, perhaps he is. His kidneys are rumored to be giving him a really hard time, so that’s sad. He appears to be a really nice guy, but Mr. X and I still don’t get the fuss they make over Phil.

And it’s not fair of the producers to keep making the superior Joshua duet with inferior Phil. I’m sure the latter has his charms for some, but he’s not exactly harmony material.

At least it’s a really nice top four. All nice people, even if not a one of them has any personality.

They’re all kind-of idiotic. Young idiots, who do stupid things they think are funny, like the boys last night coming out to swing while the girls were getting their critique. How is that the least bit amusing???

They showed a trailer for the upcoming film Rock of Ages, and it looked like crap. It looked like just a bunch of self-indulgent a-hole actors on the screen. I can’t tell you how sick I am of the worst of them, Alec Baldwin.

Now that Julianne Hough, (who was in the audience last night,) is a star, can she go on DWTS as the celeb? They could team her up with her little bro, Derek, and everyone else can just not show up that season.

The foursome of finalists looked like kids hanging out in the school auditorium waiting for rehearsal to begin, although they were wasting our national television watching time.

And the dreadful sound mixing last night didn’t help. Anyone.

Joshua sure knows how to do a lot without doing too much.

But I wish that they’d stop telling him he’s better than anyone on this show ever because Adam is still better.

Jessica Sanchez made me cry last night, with her rendition of And I Am Telling You. She’s the first person on one of these shows who deserved to sing that song. And sing the song she did, as opposed to all the others who are just busy being impressed with themselves, rather than doing the song the justice it deserves.

But the judges should have made so much more of a fuss over her; they totally disappointed me. I think they may have just been too drained to speak after what her performance put us all through, in a great way, but they should have at least expressed that. She deserves the win with that performance. Not a note out of place.

Yet, I don’t know how she kept her body still during that performance! I’m glad Jennifer picked up on it, probably correctly guessing that the advisors told her to do it that way.

And I loved that Jessica referenced Jennifer Holliday as the person whose song it was, not Jennifer Hudson. That’s a girl who appreciates the history of music. Very impressive, especially for such a young girl to have that level of respect.

If the winner this season is not Jessica or Joshua, its a true shonda, (my new favorite word, in case you’ve missed that note in recent columns of mine.)

 

THE VOICE

 

I don’t have much more to say about this season than I already wrote last week. [In case you missed it, you can read it here: www.itsnotaboutme.tv/news/2012/05/03/televisonkarens-rants-the-voice-season-2—penultimate-week-updates] But, since it ended this week, here a just a few more of my thoughts on it in general, and the finale in specific:

Once my favorites Jamar Rogers and Jesse Campbell were eliminated, I didn’t care who else would win, but I was actually very happy that it was Jermaine Paul because he was the most deserving of the four finalists.

They all seemed nice, but that Juliet chick’s singing is just brutal. She missed just about every note in her final number! Who can think she’s good???

Christina Aguilera kept making everything about her. (There’s a shock.) She mentioned that she was sick, performed sick, felt sick, way too many times, including when she was critiquing the contestants.

And I can’t believe she was so rude to be texting during finalist Tony Lucca’s speech! We still don’t know exactly what she had against him all season, but that final rudeness was just downright unprofessional.

DANCING WITH THE STARS

 

I was correct in my predictions this week, once again. Yay, me!

Please let’s make undeserving Maria go home this week, especially because the week after that is the final. People are voting for Derek, not her, and it’s not fair to the others.

I hope that Katherine Jenkins wins because she hands-down deserves it. But I won’t be crushed if it turns out to be William Levy, which is how it appears to be going. As long as it’s not stiff-as-a-board, ungrateful, no personality Donald Driver. Or, God forbid, bite my tongue, holding-onto-Derek-always Maria.

More “talent “ shows begin this month, so I have to go sharpen my fangs to prepare for them.