I started my Emmys coverage by watching two arrivals shows, but I almost quit right away; all the phony talk had me nauseated. It was like one gigantic college theatre department!!! All they do is tell everyone how “gorgeous,” stunning,” and “fabulous” they look. That’s so fake, especially when the people look awful!
Mr. X, a show business veteran, gave it the old college try, but after a few minutes, he rightfully declared it unwatchable.
I also know about only three of the shows being lauded, so that aspect of the proceeding wasn’t very interesting to me. I know it’s shocking, but, despite Mr. X and my house having all the streaming services, and satellite TV, (which we were pioneers in—we had the original system, the one that only bars and hotels had back in the day!,) I’m a mainly-network-show girl. So, even though I can run the Pop Culture category on game shows, I had no idea who a majority of these people are. Some I sort-of know of, but many others I’ve never even seen or heard of before that night!
ARRIVALS ON E CHANNEL
The hosts for this one were Laverne Cox and Loni Love, who were both worse than awful! Laverne’s twin brother “X,” (as opposed to my bae, Mr. X,) who was on the recent Claim To Fame, is more entertaining than she is! She just kept telling everyone how she loved them all night. Ugh. And the Loni woman got so many names of shows and the people she was interviewing wrong. But I tried. For a while.
So here are my thoughts on this channel’s coverage, in order:
I love that the woman from Ted Lasso, Hannah Waddingham, showed that she was wearing sparkly sneaks under her gown, to which Loni showed that she was doing the same! (Loni’s only good moment of the night.) Many of you may know that I did that for years at big events! But I more often than not featured my kicks!
Issa Rae (from a show called Insecure,) said that she’s rooting “for everybody black.” That is soooo rude! Can you just imagine if anyone said they were rooting for everyone white?! Or Jewish?! Or straight?! Or whatever. That was repulsive. I’ve been pushing for equality my entire life, but this is reverse racism at its worst.
Loni asked the Korean’s translator’s name, and when the woman gave it, Loni declared, “I remembered!” If she had, she wouldn’t have had to ask!!!
I’ve been one of the few who has never cared about Andrew Garfield, one way or the other, but he looked the best in his white suit and shades.
Kerry Washington looked very unhealthy. I was anorexic myself back in the day, so I recognize it. Hey honey, mix in a sandwich!!!
I still love Kate McKinnon, but her fawning over Laverne Cox was downright nauseating. She even kissed her hand!!!
Then Loni called her “Kate McKinley!!!” Why does E keep hiring illiterate people???
Jake Lacy showed himself to be the nicest, most real actor ever!!! He looked familiar, so I had to look up what I knew him from, and it’s the sitcom Better With You, where he played the sweet dumb hunk, essentially, and Mr. X and I loved him! I’m glad to see him being very successful now. (Except that I hate that he’s playing a horrific pedophile in a new show now. Sad casting.)
As Loni Love was fawning over Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni, and proclaiming to be a major fan of their show, Law & Order: SVU, (which stands for “Special Victims Unit,”) she asked, “You know what? I love y’all. You know? How long are we gonna keep doing SUV?” What an idiot! She’s such a fan and she doesn’t even know the simple title???
When asked to tell about her dress, Rachel Brosnahan said, “She’s new and I’m loving her.” But never once said the designer’s name!!! She should know better. (Unless she was referring to her dress as “she,” which would be weird.)
I couldn’t take it anymore at this point—I just could not watch the rest of this nausea-fest. Not even for you guys.
ARRIVALS ON LOCAL KTLA
This one was hosted by Channel 5 news people, Sam Rubin and Jessica Holmes. They didn’t even know who some of the supposed celebs were! (As I said, neither do I, but I would have definitely been prepared had that been my gig!!!)
Here are my thoughts on their interviews:
First interviewee Steve Zahn and his wife seem really nice.
Some young girl from something called The Bear popped-up on their platform, and they were flummoxed—you could tell they had no clue who she was! But I give them props for doing the interview leaving out anything specific until someone in their earpieces finally figured it out and fed them the info.
Henry Winkler said weird stuff that I’m sure not one person watching understood. It was on the level of what my good friend Elliott Gould often says, which has made more than one talk show host sweat trying to figure out how to respond. In this Winkler case, the female host replied, “I see what you’re saying,” when she had not one clue. But I guess that was better than the more honest, “Huh???”
OMG—those two thought that Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni are a couple in real life!!! They didn’t stop talking about it, saying things like that they’re the “best-looking couple of all time!” I kept screaming at the screen, “They are not a couple!!!”
I never heard of The Great, but I loved seeing Nicolas Hoult (from 2002’s About a Boy,) all grown-up. But get this: In the middle of him talking, answering their question, idiot Sam Rubin interrupted him by saying, “I’m going to do you a favor; I’m going to let you go back to talking to Geena Davis,” (which he had been doing for just a brief moment when he was introduced to her before he stepped-up to the interview platform, and had no intention of going back to,) so they could bring Seth Meyers up. How incredibly rude!!! And Seth was just there waiting patiently—there was no need to rush Nicolas off at all!!!
The Squid Game acting duo appear to be the sweetest people. But HoYeon Jung is so skinny, I almost didn’t see her when she turned to the side! And I’m not joking.
I love, love, love Patricia Arquette‘s honesty. When Sam introduced her by saying, “Patricia Arquette is no stranger to Emmy gold,” she quietly answered, “That’s right, I’m not.” Love it!!!
Sam had no idea who Chris Perfetti, who plays the gay teacher on Abbott Elementary, is. Sam referred to him as the “friend” of another cast member he was interviewing! How humiliating. It’s one of the biggest shows on TV! And Sam Rubin is supposed to be the entertainment reporter on his channel, which is a local one, and Chris just starred in a major stage production here! So how could he not know who Chris is?! Even if he didn’t know his name, he definitely should have known he’s one of the stars of the sitcom.
Although I have not one clue who she is, Rhea Seehorn seems so nice.
Reese Witherspoon looked gorgeous! (And that’s something I haven’t said for years.)
That Eve Plumb woman from The Brady Bunch is so obnoxious! And desperate. I never saw the show, which means I have no idea who any of those people are, so I loved that in her interview, she kept ragging on people who don’t know who she is. And from what I understand, she was a little girl on the show, and she’s an old lady now, so even if someone knew that long-ago series, they wouldn’t recognize her now.
EMMYS SHOW OVERALL IMPRESSIONS
Before I discuss the moment-to-moment happenings, here are a few of my overall impressions of the actual show:
Since there was no Golden Globes show this year, the Emmys stole their model and had the audience sit at tables, and plied them with food and drink before the telecast began, (probably hoping they would get drunk and rowdy, which the producers seem to think makes good television.) The Screen Actors Guild Awards do it that way, too. That’s sort-of obnoxious of the Emmys producers. I hate people stealing ideas, perhaps because it’s been happening to me since fifth grade! I know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but have an original idea, people!!!
Doing it that way showed there to be lots of empty seats up front. They can’t put seat fillers at a table with food because I’m sure the actors do not want strangers to breathe on it!
And they put many of the tables on the other side of the stage that was used for the first hour or so, (sort-of in the middle of the room,) like they were second class citizens. That was rude. And embarrassing.
I hated that announcer! When she introduced the host, Kenan Thompson, she had to say he’s her “big brother.” Like anyone cares! We have no idea who she is! And she got even more annoying as the night went along. They gave her way too much to do, in her raspy voice.
There were soooooo many awful nose jobs! Some of the worst were on Mindy Kaling, Sheryl Lee Ralph, and Jennifer Coolidge, (although hers might just be overall facial surgery that makes her look even weirder than ever. Poor woman.) But the perennial worst is that of Kaley Cuoco. How are there no good plastic surgeons in Los Angeles at this late date???
They need to give the winners at least a minute for their acceptance speeches, for goodness sake!!! They’re the reason viewers watch the show! They can just cut-out the stupid “comedy” bits, which everyone hates.
How do so many people in show biz not know about mic height by now??? They can stand-up—the mics will pic their voices up. There’s never a need to lean down to it. Even more perplexing is that the people on awards shows don’t get that note when they’re at rehearsal!
Why do so many actors lisp now??? And how have I not noticed some of them before Monday night?
The terrible backdrop looked like rain. Didn’t they try it out before the telecast???
But the very-different venue space actually grew on me as the night wore on. And on.
In the clips of dramas, comedies, cop shows, and all the medical shows, there were sooo many network shows, which have not been nominated for Emmys for about a decade! They need to re-think showing them, or not nominating them, next year.
I actually didn’t mind the over-three-hours length of the show, except for that the first hour wasn’t entertaining at all.
The best thing to come out of the night is that, shockingly, I now want to see some of the streaming shows!
MY IMPRESSIONS OF PARTS OF THE SHOW, IN A ROW
What a stupid, unimportant, confusing opening. I love dance, in general, but that musical number was just a waste of time.
When the people from The Brady Bunch walked the red carpet, they kept telling the viewers to “pay attention” to the beginning of the show, making it seem that there would be a major tribute to them. And some of them also alluded to that there would be others throughout the show. And then all that happened is that they stood up for literally five seconds during that musical opening of people dancing to old TV show theme songs, which included theirs. I’m not kidding—Mr. X turned his back to just grab a candy bar, and missed it! Talk about self-aggrandizement!
Host Kenan Thompson, whom I usually adore, said, “Stand up for Oprah Winfrey.” You could tell that no one wanted to, but they were forced into it. He should not have done that.
Oprah’s fake British accent has gotten worse. And her bulls**t statement the other day saying that William and Harry should make-up is disgusting—her interview with creepy Meghan is what started the rift!!! She never cared about them at all, only herself. As usual.
Winner Michael Keaton had a great line about being happy to be able to stop fake-smiling now. I loved that, and the crowd chuckled knowingly. And his victory gives me another opportunity to tell you my personal story of how nice he is again. When I was a young girl just starting-out, a pal invited me to a taping of a pilot Michael was starring in. There was a small after-party in a backstage room, and my supposed friend (who was in the show) just left me sitting there by myself all night, without introducing me to even one person. Michael noticed my loneliness, and came up to talk to me, and make me feel comfortable. I can’t tell you how much I still, to this day, appreciate that kindness!
Jean Smart looked the best. Classy woman.
Julia Garner’s dress was weird. It was all bundled-up, but with a cut-out of…her belly button!!! Her snow white belly button.
I love Holland Taylor. The whole time, she looked so pissed to be seated on the “B side” of the room. I made a note that I had “a feeling she’ll leave the second she is able to,” meaning when her girlfriend Sarah Paulson finished doing her presentation, and I was totally correct! Did you doubt it?
I was a fan of Sheryl Lee Ralph until her full-of-herself speech and red carpet interviews. I’ll leave it at that.
The show finally got good when Steve Martin and Martin Short appeared—they were hilarious. Then the humor kept going with John Oliver, followed by Bowen Yang.
Jennifer Coolidge has turned into Rebel Wilson. But her dance to the music trying to play her off was a riot! One of the very few highlights of the show!
Ismael Cruz Córdova, the cute Puerto Rican actor from The Undoing, needs to lose the ‘stache. Pronto!
I’ve never seen White Lotus, (but now plan to,) nor heard of Mike White, but was still very surprised when, in his acceptance for writing the show, he mentioned that had been a contestant on Survivor. So I made a note to look him up, and guess what? Not only was he on that show—twice!–he was also on The Amazing Race two times!!! His crazy life history rivals mine!
Jerrod Carmichael said in his speech, “I wanted to win, I’m happy I won.” I love that honesty, but I was surprised that he wasn’t funny–he won for being a comedian!
Anthony Anderson got old in a hurry.
That was a particularly sad In Memorium section. Mr. X and I knew, worked with, or met so many of them. Heartbreaking.
I give Bill Hader so much credit for being the only person there rocking a mask. That’s usually Mr. X and me.
Jimmy Kimmel‘s “comedy” bit of being dragged out onto the stage, because he supposedly passed-out from not winning again, was sooo stupid. It wasn’t funny to begin with, but was made worse as it went along. They didn’t know how to get him off the stage, so he lay there while poor Quinta Brunson gave her acceptance speech for writing Abbot Elementary, which was a major event since it’s the only network show that was nominated, and won, for anything. Being a fellow comedian, she accepted it, (and, as I predicted the second it happened, will be on his shows this week,) but it was a low point of the telecast. On the other hand, people claiming his actions were “racist” are just idiots themselves—Jimmy had no idea who would win, ergo the person’s race wasn’t part of the equation!!! How could they not realize that?!
Squid Game director Lee Jung-jae was very charming.
The bit done by Molly Shannon and Vanessa Bayer was funny.
Pete Davidson was amusing. It was actually good to see him again. And good for him to shout-out the job Kenan did that night.
What a rude person Jesse Armstrong, the creator of Succession, was! In the middle of his acceptance speech for the series, he ragged on the ascension of King Charles!!! How absolutely inappropriate. What a horrible moment to end the Emmys on!!! Now I’ll never watch his show.
And that’s it for the Emmys 2022. Of course, I had many more thoughts on the show, (like why was it on a Monday this year? That was better for me because it didn’t conflict with the end of the my US Open tennis-watching, but it was still sort-of odd. The Oscars used to do that back in the day, but I believe this was a first for the Emmys.) But I don’t want to overwhelm you with them. But no worries—there’s always another awards show just around the corner!