TELEVISION: NEW FALL TELEVISION SHOWS 2013—PART I

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NEW FALL TELEVISION SHOWS 2013—PART I

 

While not one of these new Fall season television shows has knocked my socks off, some have been at least a little fun to watch, while most of them, not so much. Actually, many of them are even worse than that. As a matter of fact, one of the shows that I couldn’t force myself to go back for the second episode of, Lucky 7, already got canceled! So I’m not even bothering with a review of that one, but I’m always glad to see when my opinions, both negative and positive, are borne-out by the rest of the viewing public.

I'm using this still from Sleepy Hollow as the only picture in this whole column because at least this guy is gorgeous!

I’m using this still from Sleepy Hollow as the only picture in this whole column because at least this guy is gorgeous!

Unfortunately, I don’t have any real winners in this group. While there are a few shows I may put in my regular-viewing rotation, there are none that I look forward to among the newbies. So far, it’s been a very disappointing television season for me.

Other than Ironside, (which a friend of mine is a producer on, so therefore I don’t feel comfortable reviewing it,) here are my thoughts on the first half of this season’s new entries, from worst to first, (and I use the word “first” loosely):

 

DREADFUL

 

Dads (FOX)—This is the worst of the new shows, by far. Yes, even worse than the late lamentable Lucky 7. I have a lot to say about this pathetic entry. Firstly, I have two impressions of this show’s executive producer, Seth MacFarlane–one of Family Guy, which I think is hilarious eighty-five percent of the time, and the other is as the most recent Oscars host, where he was brutally unfunny.  Dads goes along with the latter. And the supposed offensive parts were the least of it; it just wasn’t funny.  At all.

One of the co-stars, Martin Mull is an old pal of mine, (he was even one of the few celebrity guests on my former show, Karen’s Restaurant Revue,) and I’ve thought he was hilarious since I was a kid.  So I really wanted to like this show, but I just could not. I honestly did not laugh even once. And this is supposed to be a situation comedy!

One of the notes I wrote while we were watching the pilot was: “They just said they hope their dads die!  Horrible.  Now that’s offensive.”

And to portray sixty-five-year-olds as so doddering is also offensive.  How do grown-up celebrities, like Goldie Hawn, Stevie Nicks, Ted Danson, Helen Mirren, and Robert DeNiro, just to name a few, feel about that portrayal???

And besides all that, the writing is so pat. As soon as the young girl in the office of the two lead guys came on screen, Mr. X said, “Here comes the sarcastic secretary.” She hadn’t even opened her mouth, and yet, everything she was about to say was so predictable.

The only good news about this show, to me, is that Nick Lachey’s wife, (who’s on the show; who even knew she was an actress?!,) is chubby! Good to know that my old celebrity crush is into chubby chicks. But still far from enough reason for me to ever waste even one more second of my life on this show ever again.

The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC)–I really hate maligning any project involving an actor who has a devastating health condition, but this show is hard to watch, on he every level. It’s not funny, the cast is all trying too hard, the premise is stupid, and, sadly, it’s hard to watch Michael himself without your heart bleeding for him. I tried the first two shows, in case it got better after the pilot, but, sadly, it did not. And that’s all I have to say on this one.

The Crazy Ones (CBS)–I’ve never been a fan of Robin Williams, either professionally or personally, but I’m always willing to give people another chance, so I approached this sitcom with an open mind. But the only thing good about the first episode was hearing guest star Kelly Clarkson sing. You know what? I just realized that I don’t want to waste any of my life trying to cleverly list the way this show is a bore and a half, so just take my word on this one.

 

HOW DID THESE MAKE IT ON THE AIR???

 

The Goldbergs (ABC)–This show is awful.  I didn’t laugh once.  It’s trying really hard to be The Wonder Years, but missing by an eternity.  And, it’s a rude portrayal of Jews.  On top of that, I can’t listen to that man’s annoying voice. (The one who plays the father.)  The whole cast is over-acting so much.  I’m usually a fan of the actress who plays the mother, but this is a thankless task for her.

Trophy Wife (ABC)–Besides that this show sucks, (in every area except for Marcia Gay Harden,) in the first episode, the producers thought humor came from having the young son be left alone in a car all afternoon! Let me state this loud and clear–in no universe is it funny to leave a little kid in a car alone, for any reason!  This is fodder for a super-sad movie, not for a sitcom. In addition to that stupidity, Michaela Watkins, the woman who plays wife number two, is downright not funny at all, and I hate to say this, but she’s so unattractive that you would feel bad laughing at her, anyway. On the one positive note, the little boy is cute, though. I hope he gets another gig soon, because I’ll be shocked if this show lasts even a few more weeks.

Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D (ABC)—I was over half-way though the pilot, and I didn’t have a clue what was going on, except that Clark Gregg’s character has a secret, like that he’s really dead or something.  And I have a 147IQ!!!  I couldn’t even figure-out who the good guys were! And I couldn’t understand a word any of them were saying.  Perhaps it’s well-done and is just not my cup of tea, but I had to force myself to get through the pilot.  So I will not be sticking with this one, although I have a feeling it will outlast the ones I like, which often happens.

 

TRIED FOR A SECOND VIEWING, BUT JUST COULDN’T FORCE MYSELF INTO IT

 

Sleepy Hollow (FOX)—I don’t understand how this show already received a pick-up for next season! The first episode was sort of promising, but by the second one, I knew I was just tuning-in because the lead guy is cute. The premise is beyond inane, and there’s just nowhere to go with this one, but to my “don’t bother with” list.

 

GAVE UP AFTER THREE

 

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX)–I originally had this as the lone entry under the heading of “Pretty Good,” but during the third showing, I had to give it up. Despite the fact that I’m still attached to Brooklyn, and that I think Andy Samberg is always funny, this show is basically a dud. The pilot was entertaining enough, and episode two was kind-of okay, but Mr. X and I didn’t laugh even once during the third outing. It’s basically all stupidity, but one of the main weaknesses with this show is the girl who plays the police station’s receptionist. It’s hard to listen to her nasal delivery, and she way overdoes just about every line she has. What’s surprising to me, and actually sort of uplifting at the same time, is that this girl got cast with the giant schnoz she has. Mine’s not even close to as bad as hers, but I’d say that ninety percent of the times I didn’t get cast was because of my nose being too big. Everyone in show business begged me to have a nose job, but I stuck to my guns, because I just didn’t want anyone to take a hammer to my face. And I felt like I was tricking everyone when they thought I was good-looking anyhow. So I’m glad to see times have changed, but, as much as I hate to say it, this girl’s nose is a tad distracting. But not as much as her awful voice.

 

I’LL GO BACK FOR AT LEAST ONE MORE

 

The Blacklist (NBC)–I’ve seen both episodes that have aired so far, and I think I’ll continue with this show. But am I the only one who thinks that the bad guy is the girl’s father?  Isn’t that obvious?  Or did I miss something?  And, if that is the case, wouldn’t at least one of these top FBI investigators figure it out, too?

Hostages (CBS)–Despite its hundreds of holes in the pilot alone, it interested me enough.  As long as I don’t watch with Mr. X, who has to point them all out, thus taking me out of the action, I’ll be okay. (No worries there, actually; he bailed after the first episode.) They almost lost me on the second episode, though, with a totally unnecessary murder.  But I’m going to try to keep going with this one. I just hope that I’m not pissed-off at the end, in February, because it’s designated a “limited series” at this point, which should mean that it wraps-up at the end of this season, but I recently found-out that they just mean fewer episodes. So they can potentially leave us hanging for seven more months!

Mom (CBS)—Although this sitcom from Chuck Lorre, of whom I’m a big fan, started out pretty obnoxiously, with tons of overacting from star Anna Faris, it definitely picked-up as it went along. Excellent writing can make-up for almost anything, even the predictability of so many supposedly surprise bits. The stand-out in the big cast, for both Mr. X and me, is French Stewart. His delivery of one-liners is spot-on. I’m hoping to make regular sitcom-viewing out of this one, because so many of the other entries in this category this season are brutally bad. [Update: after seeing this second episode, teen-age daughter is now pregnant, Mr. X and I decided we’re done with this one, too, unless we’re bored and desperate.]

Back in the Game (ABC)—While really nothing special so far, I did get a few chuckles out of this sitcom, but they came mostly during the few seconds of the little gay boy dancing. I used to know James Caan, (not that I’m really proud of that fact, but he was always nice to me,) so that’s another reason to give it one more shot. I really wouldn’t be crushed if they took it off the air right away, either, though.

Betrayal (ABC)—Even though I know it sucks, I’ll try to stick with this one for a while. I probably won’t have to devote much of my life to it, though, because I have a feeling it will get canceled pretty soon. I guess that there will be lots of complications due to the fact that a woman and a man cheated on their spouses with each other right up front, but I don’t see how any viewer can have anything invested in that relationship. The writing showed absolutely no reason why these two would have sex on their fourth meeting, other than as the premise of the story. They were so many ways they could have shown the attraction, so I guess I’d fault the writers even more than the actors and director.

 

That’s it for the first half of this season’s new television shows. I’ll finish viewing the rest of them while I recuperate from this week’s hand surgery, and publish those reviews in a week or so. In the meantime, please feel free to share your thoughts on the new season, in the Comments section below. [Note: since we switched website hosts recently, the Comments section doesn’t work all the time, so if that’s your experience, please try again in a couple of days, when it should be all worked-out, knock on wood.]

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