DID ANYONE ELSE FIND THIS SEASON OF THE WHITE LOTUS TO BE…

…partially perverse? (Someone had to say it out loud, so why not me?)

The White Lotus’ creator/writer/director Mike White.

I had actually originally written much harsher thoughts than that in this article, and then thought better of it. But as I was done writing it, I read words in the media about this season of The White Lotus such as “disgusted,” “appalled,” “disturbing,” “gross,” “draining,” “crushing disappointment,” “indulgent,” “tedious,” “terrible,” “biggest load of crap ever,” the list goes on and on. (I applaud one clever person who wrote the comment, “Forget the incest. What’s up with Chloe and Chelsea’s teeth?” I’ve been questioning how those actresses got jobs with those awful chompers all along, but I decided to leave them alone. I do know good dentists for them, though, should they decide to improve their smiles, as everyone should. In this age of invisible braces, there’s no excuse for money-earning on-screen talent to not fix their teeth, for goodness sake!)

The two actresses teeth.

I feel like I’ve wasted time on every episode of the streaming television series The White Lotus; I’ve kept watching because the internet keeps tricking me into thinking it’s going to be more interesting than it is. Weirdly, the first season was billed as a comedy, and therefore was put into that category for awards, so when Mr. X and I watched it much later, we were pretty surprised that it was a total drama and not the least bit amusing. We didn’t get it. (They changed that designation for Season 2.)

And now Season 3, which takes place in Thailand, just finished last night, and I’m absolutely disgusted with the whole thing. Besides all the deaths and dumb storylines that other critics and viewers are ragging on today, (all of which I totally agree with,) the main reason for my disdain is that there was absolutely no reason for the beyond-creepy incest storyline, especially with such young actors. I almost threw-up before Patrick Schwarzenegger did on-screen! (I actually did a little in my mouth.)

Sam Rockwell on The White Lotus.

And there was even less of a reason for that utterly nauseating sexual perversion soliloquy by Sam Rockwell on Episode Five. It didn’t further the story at all, and was simply gratuitous. I feel it was just included for prurient interest. Did anyone else wonder if it’s something that a person involved with the script may have experienced for himself? And perhaps got off on having someone else, (especially a respected actor,) relive it for him?

Of the entire eight-episode season, I feel the most awful for Patrick and his on-screen little bro, actor Sam Nivola, who had to make-out with each other. (And more!) I read that when Sam saw the incest in the script, he thought it was a typo!

I really feel for those two young actors; I once turned down a good role in a movie because I would have had to play someone who had been a lesbian in college, and…I’m not that good of an actress! Even if I was, I would never do something like that, especially if it was explicit, which is what these guys had to do.

Sam Nivola and Patrick Schwarzenegger on The White Lotus.

In my opinion, The White Lotus, which is helmed by creator, writer, director Mike White, is soft porn disguised as a whodunit. And the offensive parts are foisted on its audience. If you watch something labeled “porn,” you pretty much know what you’re in for. But this White Lotus crap is sprung on us. Most of us watch the show for the murder mystery aspect of it. The rest of the characters in there are mostly just annoying to begin with, but then to see young brothers making-out, and then one performing a sex act on the other, while you’re just trying to watch a drama series, feels violating.

I hope that at least this sickening season will teach any young ’uns who watch it to not take drugs with strangers anywhere, let alone in a foreign country. And it will remind their parents to not let them wander off, especially on a ship, with said strangers. Nothing good ever happens on a ship in the night!

Mike White.

Yes, I do know that saying all this will negate any nano-chance I ever had of appearing on an upcoming season of The White Lotus, but, as Mr. X pointed-out, I hope to not be on the show! Do any other viewers wonder if one day, in this climate of show business accountability, maybe someone will make allegations against one of the powers-that-be over there? If I were writing a fictional story about it, I’d make it that perhaps the person in question would wind-up sharing a cell with Harvey Weinstein. Or that Arnold would beat the crap out of him for making his son perform those sex acts on-screen. (But my guess is that, if this season of The White Lotus is any indication, that latter idea might be enjoyed. Just sayin’.)