Okay, so as promised yesterday, I went back and re-watched the Dancing With The Stars season opener. Most of my opinions didn’t change, but there are a lot of observations I didn’t get to note yesterday. So here they are, in, as they say on the results shows of this series, in no particular order:

BTW–I’m using only first names; it’s much easier that way, especially since I hate typing capitals and long words! ;)

dancing-with-stars-211Nicole had the best dress by far!!! It was gorgeous and elegant, which are both rarities for this show.

Thank goodness Cheryl stopped rocking that comb-over! She must cringe when she looks at old shows. And while I’m on her, I’m also thrilled that she’s finally wearing rehearsal clothing other than those same two track suits she’s worn for at least the last two seasons.

The judges screwed Chad (Ochocinco–it’s the only last name I don’t mind, oddly enough.) Big-time. He deserved at least 7s across the board, yet got only 6s.

Posture–that’s what I’ve been telling everyone for my whole life. Growing-up in Brooklyn, I’ve seen my fair share of slouching. Even though I was a chubby kid, I always got singled out in dance classes for having the best posture, and I always beamed with pride. Now that I’m fully-grown, I always notice everyone’s round shoulders, and even point it out to my good friends, as I ask them to do for me. Only one person has ever listened to me on that topic, and it’s made a world of difference. So, I never understand why these wanna-be dancers don’t improve when they see themselves on TV! Just stand-up straight already!

Much as I hate to admit it, Evan was the best in the good posture category. I’ve always noticed that about him, and lauded him for it. But did anyone else notice that he was just blank during the whole show? He has no personality whatsoever. He was the only one there who didn’t seem happy for the others.

I’ve never seen so many boob jobs in one place! Most of them were way too big, and they all sagged! Ugh. Have the costume people never heard of a bra??? (And I’m saying this as the possessor of a big natural chest, so I know the pitfalls, so to speak.)

I can’t believe that Evan was the only competitor they ever told to point his toes! His weren’t great, but he was far from the worst. Niecy and Shannen were pitiful in that category. And Joanna, the trampy girl from last season whom no one knew, had feet that were downright comical, while they heaped praise on her constantly. And for the record, Carrie Anne–skaters do point their toes, even in their boots. At least, the good ones do.

The judges were way too mean for Week #1. This isn’t a real competition, for pete’s sake. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was actually grateful for Carrie Anne the other night! And she was kind-of funny when she imitated Pam’s hair toss.

Shannen seemed nicer than people think, (I actually know very little about her,) but I hated that phony, “I’m an actor.” You’re an actress. And a pretty bad one at that, I’ve heard, so please don’t use that actor nonsense on us.

I love Maks!!!!!!!

I know that yesterday I pointed-out just how not-good-looking Erin is, but close-up, she does have great teeth and nice eyes. But that voice! Ugh.

I loved Niecy and Louis’ closing step, where she falls on him backwards. Never seen that before. He’s a brave man.

Regarding the inane bits the show forces the couples to do before the breaks–most people just aren’t funny, no matter how hard they try, so please stop doing these! They actually make me throw-up in my mouth a little.

I wish that the skaters and gymnasts who appear on this show would stop making believe they never danced! They all have dance training! The same for music performers. If you’ve done a video, you’ve danced!!!

Evan has the best posture, spins, and arms, but I was shocked to see how ungraceful his actual feet are! He’s probably never danced with a girl before. Len told him to get chemistry with his partner. I’m biting my tongue on this one. Actually, his partner, Anna’s, husband isn’t exactly a bastion of masculinity either. (BYW–I knew exactly what she meant about when they show the skating scores, they tell the audience what place they’re in “for now.” That was her point–she and Evan were in first place, but others were to dance, so their lead was only “for now.” Duh.

Poor Ashly– this is the third time, out of her four seasons, that she’s gotten stuck with a terrible dancer. The first season was good for her with Joey McIntyre, but then she got Master P and Harry Hamlin. And now 80-year-old Buzz Aldrin. Maybe they figure that since she’s a religious girl, she’ll turn the other cheek, but enough is enough.

Carrie Anne to Buzz: “My little moonwalker, so cute.” I don’t think he’s ever been called a cute little moonwalker before! That’s just so weird. What would she say call Albert Einstein? A “ cute little relativistic cosmologist?” (Yeah, right–like she even knew who Albert Einstein was!)

Nicole is the only non-pro who ever almost pointed her toes!!! You go, girl.

Please tell Bruno to stay seated from now on.

Hate the new room for the celebs to talk after. It’s just really uncomfortable to watch.

The new co-host, Brooke somebody, is better than the that awful Samantha Harris for two reasons: 1)anyone would be! And 2) she is basically colorless, so she just stays out of the way. But she, too, says the cringe-worthy “deensing,” rather than the correct “dancing,” which just sounds so low-class.

Love that guy Aiden’s voice. (Yes, he’s one of the “stars,” though no one knows who he is.) He should do voice-overs. He’d win in a “listening to the stars” competition. But what was up with the crotch on his dancing pants? It came down to his mid-thigh! And I’m not saying this in a “hubba-hubba” manner; it’s more like an “ugh-ugh.”

Did I mention yesterday that I like Pam? I think she’ nice enough, and entertaining, and that she’s just being herself. And she toe-points and has good legs. But that rat’s nest ’do has got to go!

I’ve never seen this Kate woman before, so I didn’t hate her like the rest of the population seems to, so just judging from this one show, she seems somewhat creepy and I hate her voice. She actually “dances” worse than Buzz. Heck, she’s worse than Elaine on Seinfeld!!! I don’t get it–she’s famous for having lots of kids? What is this world coming to??? Mr. X said, “What’s next year? Octomom?” Let’s not give the producers any more bad ideas.


1 Comment

  1. “I’ve never seen this Kate woman before, so I didn’t hate her like the rest of the population seems to, so just judging from this one show, she seems somewhat creepy and I hate her voice. ”

    Come on, give the girl a break. Nice legs too! ;-)

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