I enjoy many of the events that I’m privileged enough to attend, but trust me, it’s a small percentage that are really special.

So, after yet another week, and week-end, of wall-to-wall events, (which, believe me, I’m not complaining about,) they all began to blur together. Last Sunday seemed like it would turn-out to be a perfect day to stay home with Mr. X and Clarence, and wait for the Lost finale. But Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan was celebrating his 50th birthday at his wonderful Bony Pony Ranch in the Malibu Hills, and it sounded great, so off I went. (Don’t be alarmed about the plastic surgeon part, where I’m concerned–my original parts are still hanging in there!)

This turned-out to be the absolutely best event I’ve been to all year! And I have to admit that that includes even my fabulous birthday party! He sure knows how to throw them!

I’ve rarely seen an event that is what it portrays itself to be, where what’s listed on the invitation is what really happens. This function had even more than the invite stated.

Before I tell you the deets of the soiree, ( I saved my favorite part for last, so please be sure to read it all,) I want to let you know about the doc’s foundation. The Dr. Frank Ryan Foundation is a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged and at-risk youth, which is majorly laudable, in my opinion. With the family atmosphere and several children’s activities, the kids who were in attendance appeared to be having the time of their lives, as were we! I’ve rarely seen so many smiles at an event!

I’ve been to this ranch before and I love the set-up. This time, as we entered the property, we were greeted by a petting zoo. I swear, those were little llamas I was talking to! As we got up the small hill to the main events, (a cute guy named Tony drove us in a little cart,) we didn’t know which activity to do first! On the right was the Camp Beauty Day Spa, but on the left was a humongous barbeque! They both had my name all over them! Let’s see how well you know me–which did I do first?

If you said “eat,” you would ordinarily be correct because my party policy is to always eat first, then replenish my lip gloss so I can be my usual charming self to the assemblage. But when I saw that we were the first guests to arrive at the Spa area, and it was one of the most gorgeous days ever, I opted to lie on a treatment table in the warm sun (on a kind-of chilly, crisp, windy day) and be pampered.

First up was a collagen treatment, proffered by Dr. Suzanne Bennett, a chiropractor I used to know. I hadn’t seen her in about a decade, and she looked exactly the same! So, I figured she knows about facials! She put a Purigenex collagen mask on me, and I got to lie there and relax for the first time in weeks.

DJ Ryan had already started spinning and he was honestly the best I’ve heard since my club promoting days, when I basically told my DJs what I wanted them to play. (In a nice way.) This guy got to my soul–he played all the best cuts from the past eighteen years or so, and every single one was a happy, help-the-party-along selection. Not even one annoying, pounding, hold-you-ears choice all day. And his associate, Egypt, got the dance floor going. I can see why they do a lot of bar mitzvahs, etc. If I had known that there would be such great music, I might have been able to persuade the krump-dancing Mr. X to join me. (But then I would have had to drag him off the dance floor to get home in time for the NBA play-offs, so it worked-out for the best.)

Back to DJ Ryan for a second–he took me right though all my dance phases with the songs he chose–the Roger Rabbit, dancing at the end of my shows (yes, to all of you have pointed this out to me–I was the first talk show host who danced on her show!,) club promoting, up to the present when I was still dancing before I hurt my back. But lying on Suzanne’s table grooving to the beats made me formulate a new exercise regime–dancing lying down!!! Seriously. It’s better than not moving at all. I’ll let you know how that turns out for me.

The barbeque, catered by Steve’s BBQ Express, was the most sumptuous one I’ve ever seen! There was everything one would ever want in a bbq and much, much more: hot dogs, hamburgers, chili, tri-tip, ribs, beans, many salads, fruit, cookies, and an ice cream bar. And it was all delicious! My taste buds could have dug into a dozen chili dogs on fluffy onion buns, but they were so gigantic that my insides couldn’t fit in more than just one. That could be my new diet plan–one delicious giant hot dog a day. Yum.

Speaking of diet, there were two companies in the spa area featuring diet snacks. Zen Foods’ brownies and angel food cupcakes were truly out of this world! Better than caloric ones. The only problem is that they were so delicious that I couldn’t stop eating them, so they may have defeated their own purpose. ;) I thought diet food is supposed to taste bad! They have a diet plan delivery service, and it looks really tempting. If I can stop reviewing restaurants for a few weeks, I may just try it out and review it for you. So, look out for that report. (The lying-around-nursing-my-back situation has packed some pounds on my tall-but-small frame.)

I don’t really know what the other diet company does exactly, but my guest loved their sugar-free cookies and snacks. And it appears that they’re named after me! (Note website handle.)

We ended our afternoon back at the spa area. Because we had already done the facial collagen, we could try Laura McDermott’s DermaSweep skin resurfacing on our hands only. They looked great, so I hope to try it on my face one day. And Laura looked like a Miss America, so she was the perfect advertisement for the product.

One of the absolute most popular beautifying treatments at any event is brow-shaping, and the famous Anastasia (of Beverly Hills and Brentwood) was doing them here. I was lucky enough to get Alexandra Chavez to do mine and now I feel like I can face public appearances again. I’m really not kidding. The funny part is that I left this event looking and feeling the best I have in four months, but had to stay in all week to write! I hate wasting looking good. Hopefully, my improvements will carry over to this upcoming super-busy week. Fingers crossed.

There was not just one, but two massage therapists, both with actual tables to lie on, as opposed to just a chair massage. I took the first one I saw and was grateful for the shoulder massage I got through my sweatshirt (because it was in the shade.) Then I walked around the corner and saw what looked like the greatest masseuse ever, in the warm sun, giving amazing massages, with stretches, while the receivers were undressed under cozy covers!!! I could not be a pig and ask for that one, too, so I got the woman’s card, and trust me, I hope to be checking her out soon.

I saved the best for last–a full-body spray tan, courtesy of the adorable and pleasant Katie Quinn of Kona Tans. I couldn’t have asked for a more caring sprayer–she should have been a nurse. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of spray tans. Maybe not as many as Cheryl Burke, but…you get the idea. Katie should have been a nurse! I kept apologizing for not shaving or exfoliating (I wasn’t expecting a tan booth!) and she kept apologizing for the wind! Even though she’s thin and adorable, I didn’t even feel funny baring my newly-chubby frame in front of her! That’s how kind she was!

And the tan was perfect, despite the wind! The color was the best ever, and it has lasted almost a week already! Katie even had her cute husband guard the area because the sun was making my silhouette available to anyone who walked into that private area. They were just great; they made me feel special and treated me better than any other spray tanner ever! I can’t wait to get another tan for the summer from one of their mobile tanners. (Have spray gun, will travel.) The Quinns sent me off with a special glow, both on my skin and my soul.

I wish you all a fabulous, and safe, Memorial Day Week-end!



  1. Boyna Matheu on

    Thank you, I’ve recently been looking for info about this place for a while. This is the best e-zine I have found.

  2. Really shows that you have a special approach to events of this kind and therefore deservedly receive various preferences.

Leave A Reply