MINI MOVIE REVIEWS 2025—PART II

This second crop of films I’m reviewing, which each have at least one Oscar or SAG nomination, (of course—why else would I be reviewing them for you?,) is pretty much yin and yang. (If you missed Part I of my Mini Movie Reviews, here’s the link to it: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/movie-reviews-mini-movie-reviews-2025-part-i.)

But in general, I’m realizing that there are not many really excellent movies this year, at all. The only one that’s actually good, Anora, is basically porn with a story. I wish I had the memory erase pill for at least a couple of them.

So let’s get to my mini reviews right now, so I can start forgetting them! (I’m once again going in the order that I saw them, in case that makes any difference to my opinions.)

Emilia Perez—Run, don’t walk, away from this movie. All during it, Mr. X and I kept saying how weird it is. It’s not very good to begin with, and the attempt at making it a musical is just annoying. It took us three—count them, three—sittings to finish it!!!

But I was impressed that Zoe Saldana is not only a fluent Spanish-speaker, but can act in a second language. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her act in English!!! But she’s pretty good in this one. And Selena Gomez doesn’t have her same dumb voice in Spanish that she does in English. So those are positives.

Besides that Zoe Saldana is the lead actress of this film, as opposed to the supporting category she’s been relegated to for the entire awards season, and the fact that supposed lead Karla Sofia Gascon has been consistently nominated as Best Actress, (meaning the lead one,) when her role, despite being the title one, is actually supporting, there’s a much more serious new controversy in regard to the latter woman. And that is that racist, Islamophobic, and just plain old offensive former tweets of hers surfaced, infuriating just about everybody. There was supposedly even one about her future co-star Selena Gomez, which she claims is fake. (It reads, ““She’s a rich rat who plays the poor bastard whenever she can and will never stop bothering her ex-boyfriend and his wife.”)

The whole debacle is extra-odd because Karla herself is transgender! (She was an absolutely gorgeous man, by the way, but that’s a story for another time, which is most likely never.) Voters in the Academy and guilds are basically “woke” these days, so they might have been tempted to vote for Karla because of her transgender sitch, (she’s the first transgender person nominated for an Oscar in their new gender,) and she is good in this film, but now the voters all just want to forget about her. This real-life tale is even weirder than her movie!!!

Anora—I liked this one, despite the first hour or so being basically porn. And not even the soft kind! I feel like there must be something wrong with all the filmmakers involved to show that much raw sex. Seriously. They must be sick f**ks. The same story could have been accomplished with one percent of what is in the film in that area. And that’s a shame because the acting is all so good that I would want young people to see it, but not the way it is now.

I also didn’t love the story, in general, and was on edge the whole time, fearing that something really horrible, (like a rape or murder,) was going to happen. (I’m doing you the favor of letting you know that it does not.) And it didn’t really have an ending.

But the entire cast is perfect in this one, which is what makes the movie good.

Being from Brooklyn myself, you can rarely fool me on who has a legit Brooklyn accent. But Mikey Madison, who plays Ani, totally did. She’s from the Valley out here in LA, but sounded soooo naturally Brooklyn. Big props to her.

I was the most taken with Yura Borisov, the guy who plays Igor, especially in the very last minute or two, but I (wrongly) assumed no one else even noticed him. To my shock, he’s the actor from this film who received an Oscar nod for Supporting Actor! And rightfully so. And one for a SAG, as well. I had thought it was the kid in the film, Mark Eydelshteyn, who had gotten a nomination; I would have been happy if he had received one, as well.

Okay, I have to digress one minute to tell you an amusing personal tale that this film reminded me of. Before shooting began, the cast of Anora all moved to Brighton Beach, the Russian section of Brooklyn, where the film takes place. Mikey Madison said that she moved there before the others in order to soak up the atmosphere to get into the character. I chuckled when I read that because, many years ago, my first agent, Tina Marie, was also a waitress at the famous deli Canter’s in Los Angeles. She got me an audition to play a Russian girl, who is a spy or in trouble or something like that. (It was an hour drama, not a sitcom, believe it or not.) So they really wanted the actress to do a Russian accent. At that point, the only accent I could do was my own Brooklyn one! So one night a few days before my audition, Tina called me up to run over to Canter’s because there were two Russian women who worked in the bakery section, and they offered to talk to me on their breaks, so that I could get their accents by osmosis. (Or something akin to it.) I did it, of course, (and had some cheesecake while I was there—two birds, one stone,) but did not get the part. So that little caper didn’t work for me as well as it did for Mikey, but I totally understand what she was doing for her craft.

The Substance—Just when I didn’t think any movie could be more stupid, annoying, and a supreme waste of time than Emilia Perez, comes this turd. It’s just a dressed-up horror film! If you feel you must see it, definitely do not eat before you go, and block your eyes for every scene that involves food.

My smartest friend in the world told me a few months ago that this is the worst film she’s ever seen. And then Demi Moore won a Golden Globe for it, so I just had to judge for myself. And the one who is correct is…my smart friend. Of course. This is a “D” movie, at best, something you’d watch on a not heavily-trafficked channel in the middle of the night. If you’re a sicko.

Early on in watching it, I told Mr. X that “it’s like what an old French guy would make, with two obscure actresses.” And then at the end, (yes, I did finish it, just for you guys!,) I found-out that it was basically all French-made!

Mr. X chimed in with, “It’s the longest movie, regardless of time.” Touché!

He added, “The only thing more grotesque than the special effects is Demi’s nomination.” Actually, her being nominated for an Oscar is an insult to the Academy Awards!!! What is wrong with the voters this year? Besides how nothing her work is, she’s hardly even in it!!! She’s a supporting actress at best, and doesn’t do anything special with the role. Her face is basically just being used as a canvas for special effects make-up! The only thing she should receive an award for is letting people see her awful, saggy butt.

I’m assuming The Substance is supposed to be a condemnation of all the anti-aging desperation, (which is odd because few have had more plastic surgery than Demi Moore herself,) but it’s soooo stupid. And the premise is flawed to begin with. If the woman is injecting herself with a mystery substance in order to be younger every other week, and the guy in charge of it is insisting both version would still be her, (he keeps saying, “You are one,”) she would have the experiences as a younger version of herself, and not become just some entirely different young girl! It’s all so idiotic. And not even well-written.

Yet, not only is Demi up for awards, she keeps undeservedly winning them! (At this past week-end’s Critics Choice Awards, the critics made the wrong choice!)

Mr. X thinks her being feted for such a nothing role and performance is due to her major support for her ex-husband, Bruce Willis, since his crushing dementia diagnosis. Since there’s no other logical explanation for it, (except maybe that she’s old, but then why hasn’t Pamela Anderson gotten more nods?,) he may be correct.

On top of Demi’s being continuously erroneously nominated, the picture itself has! As has the writer/director/producer, Frenchwoman Coralie Fargeat. I guess this all proves that wonders will never cease.

I only wish I had seen it in a screening so I could have heard all the laughter that was sure to be going on in those last ten minutes or so, which felt like ten years!

The only thing slightly good about the whole shebang is the sets and shots. And neither is worth my time.

Gladiator II—I’m sure this is a great film. A real blockbuster. Very well-done. And from the films I’ve seen so far, just for the scope of it, it really does deserve to win Best Picture at this point. (But it definitely will not because most voters are idiots, even in show business. And it’s not nominated in that category! Read my last paragraph in this review.)

But it’s just not my cup of tea, on any level. I’m not into violence, blood, injustice, and confusing plot lines and characters, including ones I described to Mr. X as “the sniveling man and creepy gingers,” much to his amusement. And this is another one that took us a trio of sittings to get through.

And even though I’m sure that it’s best to be seen on a super-big screen, (like at a movie house or screening room,) we preferred to see it at home in our living room. We have a very big TV, (as big as my eyes will accommodate to see anything that close,) along with an excellent auxiliary sound system. But the main two reasons to view it at home are these: To have subtitles, (even though they’re all speaking English, just with various accents, which is one weirdness of the film,) and also to be able to speak out loud the entire time—I had a question for Mr. X, about exactly what was happening in the movie, just about every minute!!! But he didn’t understand it, either. I finally had to break down and research it. And it’s still confusing!

The worst thing about it, besides the violence, (which is the reason we got to see it to begin with—SAG actually gives out an award for stunts, rightly so,) is Denzel Washington’s New York accent, which does not go with the action, at all! I actually laughed out loud when at one point near the beginning, Denzel’s character asked the gladiator what language he spoke, but declared whatever it is to not be a problem because he speaks “all of them.” Then why, although he’s in Ancient Rome, does he sound like he grew-up in Brooklyn???

Luckily for us is that the only SAG nod it garnered is that one for stunts, (a category the Oscars stupidly eschews,) so we don’t have to assess anything else about Gladiator II. Those technical aspects of it are all excellent, of course. But very shockingly, the only Oscar it’s up for is Costume Design! How about Directing, Cinematography, Editing, Visual Effects, Production Design, Sound, Make-up, and especially Best Picture??? You’re telling me there are ten better films this year?! I think not. I told you the Academy is very odd this year.

That’s it for this bunch. I will finish-up my mini reviews before the SAG Awards in another couple of weeks. But I’ll leave this one with a line that struck me from Gladiator II because it’s what we’re all wishing for the United States right now. So just sub “America” in for “Rome” here. The gladiator says his wish is, “A Rome where all could live under fair law and be protected. A Rome of the senate. A Rome of hope.” From his mouth to God’s ears.