Yesterday, I listed my favorite places. (Here’s the link, in case you’re curious, but too lazy to click back:

Today, I’m listing my least favorite ones, and that designation is being kind. I actually really just about hate all of these, for various reasons, some of which I’ve included.

Again, they’re in the order that they popped into my mind, but the first really is the worst!

[Note: please don’t hate me if you live in any of these places. It’s just my experiences.]

Tampa!–I spent a week here playing in a celebrity softball game in Tampa Stadium. (The game itself didn’t take a week; the surrounding festivities did!) That part was fun, but the horrible heat, and the feeling that we were in hell and were never getting out, made me never want to return. So far, so good.

Miami—I can’t control my hair here. I look like Perpetual Monica in the Caribbean! And the whole town is just kind-of creepy. I always feel like a crime is about to happen. [Note: I hadn’t even realized that the first two places I thought of are in Florida!!! Good thing I forgot to write down Winter Park, Gainesville, and Orlando!!!]

San Francisco—I know that people think I’m nuts about this one, but I’ve just never had a good time here. Ever!

This is a picture of, literally, motorcycles in Sacramento!

Sacramento—spending time here was the first time that I noticed differences in the ways of life of others. Perhaps it’s just because I was hanging with a motorcycle gang, and all the girls were teen-agers with babies, but it finally just dawned on me that perhaps I don’t belong everywhere.

Sausalito—this one has the same starting point as the one above, but here it’s almost the opposite manifestation of it; it’s the phony people who seem like they feel superior that get me here. [Note: Just like with Florida above, I hadn’t realized that I dislike so much of Northen California! It’s a shock even to me!]

Baltimore—I did a talk show here once and I couldn’t get out of town fast enough. I didn’t even change into my travel clothes. Nor grab any Craft Services on the way out! That’s telling you something, sister! The whole twenty-four hours was horrible.

Tijuana--crowded and scary.

Tijuana—a place I feel I can’t escape from when I’m there. Scary.

Chicago—another place that I just never had a good time.

London–only because of my weird experiences there, like staying with one of Elton John’s roadies, named Booby, whose sheets were gray! (They started out in life as white.) Otherwise, I think I’d love it. [See yesterday’s reason for wanting to love it in the column you can click on from the top of this one.] [I think I made that sound so much more complicated than it is!!!]

Okay, how many of you did I offend, by accident? Please let me know so I can apologize. I mean it!


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