FOODS, FLAVORS, AND BEVERAGES I HATE
After you read the semi-long list that follows, of all the foods and flavors I hate, you may ask: how have I been a restaurant critic for most of my adult life? The answer: I never said I’m a food critic; a restaurant reviewer has many other criteria for a good time, in addition to the actual food. (I.e. ambience, what you want out of the experience, service, cute waiters, attached gift shop, etc.) But the food itself is the reason I usually review as a party of four. Because, as the name of my site states, it’s not about me. I always include the informed opinions of others I respect.
And, by the fact that I will never order alcohol, caviar, or lobster, you now know just what a cheap date I am. And, as Mr. X adds, I don’t cost that much either. Ba-dum-bum.
Writing these out just made me realize another reason I may have never grown-up–I always thought that adulthood required people to drink coffee and alcohol, and I just could not let that happen to me. Here’s the whole list:
All alcoholic beverages
All seafood save for swordfish, shrimp, and wahoo
Truffle oil–gag me with a spoon…ful of it!
Lemon–though recently, I can tolerate it as a small ingredient
Sparkling water–if you want to see me do an involuntary spit-take, like they unfortunately did at my friend Lucia’s engagement party, just hand me a glass of this by accident.
White chocolate–this one is more on principle than on taste, though I don’t like that either. That horrible sugary, slippery taste and feel make my teeth hurt just writing this. Ugh. But my hatred of it is basically because I hate liars, and white chocolate is not chocolate at all–it’s just sugar with a deceptive name. Research it for yourself, and you’ll find entries like this one from Wikipedia: “White chocolate is, by definition, not chocolate as it does not contain cocoa solids, the primary nutritional constituent of chocolate liquor.” And Joy of Baking.com states, “Officially white chocolate cannot be called ‘chocolate’ because it does not contain chocolate liquor.” Told ya.
And here are some food anomalies:
I hate avocado, but love guacamole, as long as it’s really mushed-up with no chunks of avocado.
I love fresh cherries, like on a stem, but hate it as a flavor or ingredient.
My strawberry thing is even weirder–I love cut-up strawberries and cream, absolutely love them, and like them as a small ingredient in dishes like chocolate cake or salads, but hate strawberry-flavored ice cream. Go figure.
I know most of the above are weird dislikes, but the aversion to the food at these eateries in specific are admitted to me by many others all the time, although people with no taste, or who don’t know better, seem to love them:
Umami burger–everything in that joint!
Hansen’s cakes–taste like sawdust! Ugh.
Okay, that’s it for now. Although even the thought of most of the above is making me a tad queasy, I’m seriously getting hungry just writing about food, so I have to go forage through my refrigerator for something I like. And that could take awhile!