With so many gift-giving holidays upon us, (Hanukkah begins already on Monday, followed by Christmas, and then comes the most important one of all—my January 14th birthday!,) I figured I should list the items no one needs to get me ever again.

The EZ Scrambler.

The EZ Scrambler.

That may sound spoiled of me, to assume that anyone would ever give me presents to begin with, (and trust me—few do!,) but I’m just trying to save everyone the money and hassle by eliminating so many possibilities.

But, I promise you, I’m tickled pink to receive any gift from anyone at anytime! I love seeing what people pick-out for me, even if they’re a tad nutty. For example, for one of my birthdays, Lynn Redgrave gave me an e-word scrambler, which was an “As Seen On TV” product. First of all, it was a tacky item from the get-go, and worse, as most of you know by now…I hate e-words! But I loved the craziness of the product, so I still have it. Even crazier is that, in my overfilled abode, I know where it is!

For a different birthday, a very wealthy, handsome, and hip man gave me a gallon-container-size statue of…a cockroach! From a very expensive and happening store. My friends and I screamed when I opened the box. The card stated some romantic sentiment, which was even nuttier than the bug! But it’s one of my few long-ago bday gifts that stands out in my mind to this day.

A version of my "Multiple Heads" planter, but mine was even worse!!!

A version of my “Multiple Heads” planter, but mine was even worse!!!

And then there was the infamous “Multiple Heads.” That was my gang’s name for the weirdo planter that a male pal gave me for yet another birthday! Besides the unattractiveness of it, the bigger news is that…I don’t do plants! Shockingly, the friends who were here when I opened it vied for me to regift it to them. The winner was thrilled, and one of the “losers” still bemoans not getting it. Go figure.

But, I swear—I really do like good presents better than these nutty ones. Even so, as the girl who has much, if not everything, in life, I really do appreciate the creativity.

All that being said, just so there’s no confusion in the future, (hopefully the near one,) here’s a list of items I absolutely do not ever need! And I guess I’ll find-out which of my friends are supportive enough to read INAM by if they still give me the products on this list. (Clever, eh?)

So here goes:


Gold Jewelry


Skin Creams (except ones for the neck!)

Lip Balms


Nail Polish

Make-up of any kind

Shampoos and other hair products

Writing instruments





Vitamins and supplements



Cell phone accessories


Alcohol, of any kind (because I don’t drink! Duh.)

Hand creams



On the flip side, you’ll never believe the one thing I really, really, really do need. I’ll give you a second to think of it.

After an hour of searching on the internet, I still could not find an image of a bowl that even comes close to the one I broke!  But this one makes my mouth water, so here it is.

After an hour of searching on the internet, I still could not find an image of a bowl that even comes close to the one I broke! But this one makes my mouth water, so here it is.

Ready? It’s…bowls! Of all kinds—serving, cereal, and especially big salad ones. (I just broke my giant flat-ish salad serving bowl a few weeks ago, and I can’t find another one like it!)

And I can never get enough of silver jewelry and high-end dark chocolate candy. And good knives. (Not to use on Mr. X, I promise, though I have threatened. But that’s a story for another time.) And, of course, services are my fave gifts ever. I need them all (massages, manis, pedis, facials—you name it,) and even better—they don’t take up any room in my house, for Mr. X to yell about! So it’s a win-win-win, meaning a no-brainer for the giver, (and easy to send for them, too,) something I love, and Mr. X is happy about it.

Chocolate souffle, and whipped cream.  Yu-um!

Chocolate souffle, and whipped cream. Yu-um!

I have to leave you with one of the most creative gifts I’ve ever received. It was from the classiest couple I’ve ever known, the late publisher of Los Angeles Magazine, Geoff Miller, and his actress/author wife, Kathryn Leigh Scott. This was truly a gift for the girl who has everything. It was a set of four—count them, four—ready-to-cook-for-ourselves chocolate soufflés from Bistro Garden, and…a carton of heavy whipping cream to whip up fresh when we make the soufflés! I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that gift!

I know that many of you have similar “not a gift for me” lists, so please feel free to share them in the Comments section below. I’d really love to see them.


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