HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE 2020

So, 2020 will finally be over tonight. And good riddance to it! (Although, sadly, at this point, it does not look like 2021 will be much better. At least the first half of it, anyway.)

I’m going to leave my comments on this year at that. We all know how not fun it’s been; you don’t need me to recap it all for you.

But, since this entire world needs a lot of good luck right about now, in sooo many areas, I’m going to remind you all of the two good luck rituals we should all do tonight into tomorrow. Maybe if all of us do both of them this year, it will work globally.

I do the first one, which I call “Rabbit,” at the end of every month and the beginning of the new one, but I always feel like it’s particularly potent on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. There are two ways to do it, and I, of course, do both.

First is the specific wish. This is how to do it: on the last night of the month, as you drift-off to sleep, concentrate on the one wish you want to come true more than anything else. Keep it in your mind as your last thought of the month. And don’t talk. (Duh.) In the morning, the first thing you must say is “Rabbit.”

The other way is for good luck that entire new month. And it doesn’t matter if you made that wish the night before or not. When you wake-up on the first day of the new month, kind-of pop off the end of the bed, (I just scotch down to the end with my butt, and gently propel myself off,) while saying “Rabbit” three times. (I’ve heard it as one, two, or three times, so I always do three, to cover all bases. Why not?)

If you’re worried that you won’t remember to do it, with so much going on in our minds and souls right now, just put a little sign by your clock or phone of whatever else will be the first thing you’ll see when you wake-up, (perhaps your partner’s forehead?,) to remind yourself. I also put a little stuffed rabbit on my bedside table, not just for the visual reminder but because he’s adorbs.

And here’s my special New Year’s Day ritual, which brings good luck for the entire year! (I’m telling you now so that you’ll be prepared. And also because I’m taking tomorrow off, of course!) We all need to do it this year. It’s eating black-eyed peas on January 1. The form of them is not important–canned, frozen, fresh, whatever; they all work the same. The quantity isn’t important, either, which I’m sure my fellow finicky eaters will be happy to hear, (because the legumes are far from delicious.) But you do have to eat at least a few, in any preparation. I just heat them up in the microwave, throw some seasoned salt on them, and choke down about half a cup of those suckers. It’s once a year–if I can stand them, I’m sure everyone can!

But we can all help that luck along by following the rules, advice, mandates—whatever you want to call what society at large should be doing now to help stop the virus pandemic. Please, please, please stay home tonight, with just the people you live with, or by yourself. I hope that the knowledge that someone may die if you leave your house tonight will stop you from doing so, but if not, just know that the life you’re saving by staying home might be your own! Maybe that realization will keep you from partying with others on New Year’s Eve and also on New Year’s Day.

To that end, I’ll be participating in a New Year’s Day “brunch” Zoom tomorrow. Of course it will be very far from the usual fete that my friend hosts to celebrate the occasion. She usual has an unparalleled food fest. But what will be extra-delicious this year, even though my own cooking will not even come close to what the rest of her guests come up with, is the contentment of staying safe, and keeping others the same.

So I beg everyone to please join me in that endeavor by continuing to wear masks and keeping your distance from others until the powers-that-be, (mainly Dr. Fauci and the CDC peeps,) tell us that it’s okay to go back to our pre-March 2020 behavior. Again, I’m begging you.

Now, my last written thought of the year is a positive one: We will hopefully finally be out of the woods, at least a bit, on January 20th, when Joe Biden takes over as President. Yes, I am aware that at times he may forget a name of two, but I feel confident that he will lead us out of all the abysses that Orange Hitler created. I’m thrilled that at least that part of our collective national nightmare will be over. And that the new beginning will bode well for the future to be brighter than our past four years, especially this one, have been.

So, even though we’ve been through a more challenging year than ever before, I’m optimistic for the next.

And even though it may be a tad hard to celebrate right now, I wish you all a very Happy New Year! Just please stay home, with only yourself or your household members, to see 2020 out.

I look forward to meeting you here again next year, especially on my January 14th birthday! (Did you really think I wouldn’t slip in at least a little promo in this column? I actually almost forgot to, but I came to my senses just in time.) Here’s to waking-up to a better world. Be safe.