ItsNotAboutMe.TV is now in it’s sixth year, (yay!,) so I figure there’s pretty much nothing new to say about Halloween. I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with something clever, to no avail.

1794801_10204111225958137_2033589874762822395_nAnd then something funny happened the other day, that I’d want to tell you about anyway, so here it is.

[Note: If you want to also read my favorite personal Halloween story, (which is not a spooky one, unless you’re a five-year-old me, or my mother,) here it is:]

Two days ago, I was getting dressed to attend an invited event at a mall in Downey. I really didn’t know what to wear to look good and be comfortable enough to shop the mall afterwards, because let’s face it—I wasn’t going all the way to Downey, and not getting to shop the anti-Beverly Center stores!

So, while I was looking for my upscale yet comfortable James Perse cranberry corduroy casual pants, which would have fit all bills, I came upon my stash of Halloween attire. (And I do mean stash–if Halloween came every day in October, I’d be all set, and wouldn’t even have to repeat any fashions!) All of a sudden, I realized that Halloween was two days away, and I hadn’t even worn my bright orange sneakers yet! That’s a horror story right there!

So, even though I figured the people at the event might think I’m a tad looney, to be sort of a grown-up wearing a Halloween t-shirt, I figured if I paired it with nice black pants, I could get away with it. And I’d be entertaining myself, my friend I was with, and any of the mall workers who had a sense of humor. So, that’s what I wore. (But it was a hard decision as to exactly which one of my many Halloween tops to wear. And at least I left the orange sneakers home, along with all my Halloween jewelry; I didn’t want anyone to report me to a mental hospital. Or the fashion police!)

So we went to the event, and since no one there appeared to have a sense of humor, (I ascertained that later on, when I realized that they didn’t mention my clever shirt,) I forgot all about it. After we spent an appropriate amount of time with them, we started working our way through the mall.

My friend pointed-out a See’s Candy store, and even though I know I’m going to get tons of candy at an event today, we just could not pass up those confections that were staring us right in the face. (And a kind pal had given me a gift certificate to See’s, as a sort-of “thank you for everything” present, so I just had to use it, didn’t I?)

So we got on the line, and when the man in front of me moved to show the girl behind the counter what he wanted, I noticed her giving me very strange looks. I couldn’t imagine what that was about because I wasn’t doing anything wrong; I hadn’t attempted to cut ahead of the guy, I didn’t ask questions, I wasn’t rude or noisy; I was just standing there minding my own business, I thought.

The front of my shirt!

The front of my shirt!

And then I noticed a teen-age boy kind-of staring at me, too, and all of a sudden it dawned on me—I was wearing a T-shirt that read, “Hand over the candy and no one gets hurt.” In a candy store!!!

So, I said to the counter-girl, “Oh, look what my shirt says!” And she said that that’s what she was looking at, from the second I got on line! Everyone in the store had a good laugh over it.

So, my children, let this be a lesson to all of us for Halloween. Just like that very clever commercial where a guy goes into a store, and wonders why everybody’s looking at him in terror, and when he gets back to the car, his pal says, “You know you forgot to take your ski mask off, don’t you?,” (or something to that effect,) and then we see them driving in ski country, let’s all be aware of what we look like this time of year, when we interact with the public. So robber costumes, and t-shirts with threatening phrases, should be explained right up front.

And no matter what you wear today, or how you celebrate one of my favorite holidays, I wish you all a sweet, and especially, safe, Happy Halloween!



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