On Jan. 22, 2008, the day Heath Ledger tragically left this level of life, I was the only writer on duty for People.com. I heard the incredibly sad news on CNN the second they reported it and called my editor, in shock. He assigned me to immediately do research on what happened, and I was furiously wiping away the tears as I reluctantly plodded on. My work that day was a blur.

And not, as one insensitive pal suggested, because he was gorgeous and a former crush of mine. But rather because the world lost a brilliant young actor, one whose previous stunning work, including Brokeback Mountain (for which he got robbed of the Oscar, btw), was just the tip of the iceberg.

As his name was announced as the winner of this year’s Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor for his work in Dark Knight, I felt that same sharp pain, as I’m sure we all did. Accepting his award, the film’s director, Chris Nolan, said it best: “After Heath passed on, you saw a hole ripped in the future of filmdom.” Whew. I guess that’s what the world felt in the 50s when they lost James Dean.

With these feelings as the backdrop for the evening, I’m finding it incredibly hard to be shallow and give you the catty commentary that I’m known for. So please forgive me if this “review” is too soft. I’ll try my best to channel my inner bitch for you.

But actually, this year, there wasn’t much bad to say. Shame. Even the pre-show interviewers weren’t as awful as usual. So sorry.

The absolute best-looking female, all around, was Demi Moore. It appears that sex with a much younger man has better anti-aging powers than even La Prairie! Her dress was absolutely gorgeous. It seriously is hard to believe that Mr. Rumer Willis is her biological daughter! (Okay, now I’m getting the hang of it! I’m actually cheering myself up writing this.)

Best speech by far was from Ricky Gervais. And I’m thrilled he told the assemblage to quiet down. I’ve seen a celebrity do that only once before, and in person. Several years back, Arnold Schwarzenegger was opening Gold’s Gym in Venice, CA. I was standing next to Clint Eastwood, listening to Arnold start his welcoming speech. Clint, his girlfriend, Mr. X and I were about the only quartet paying attention.

All of a sudden, Arnold said loudly, “You are being very rude and I don’t appreciate it.” The terrified crowd shut right up. I always mean to use that line, but somehow, I don’t think it will be as effective in a Brooklyn accent as it is in an Austrian one.

But I digress. Back to the Globes. Here are some random thoughts that I jotted down as the show went on…and on…:

Simon Baker is even sexier in glasses, which I didn’t think possible!

Glad to see more “regular” hairstyles on many females. And Salma Hayak’s simple, elegant braid that was folded-up into a rhinestone clip was stunning.

What was Tom Brokaw thinking when he chose that ill-fitting velour tuxedo jacket? It was square even in his day. (On second view, it looked like he took it off a stuffed bear.)

I hate to say it, but Colin Farrell looked great. Hopefully, that means he finally stopped smoking. He as much as said he stopped coke. Good for him.

Couples I love:
Angelina and Brad, who I think will turn out to be the Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward of their generation. I wish all the jealous haters would stop ragging on her, probably the kindest female in the industry.
Beyonce and Jay-Z.
Leo and Kate. I know they’re not a “couple,” but their friendship seems so caring. I was at a screening where he talked about her so lovingly, and every time the camera caught them at the Globes, they were huddling together. Adorable friendship.
Simon Baker and Me. Oh wait–that’s only in my dreams.

Celebs who came off as lovely:
Jonas Brothers
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Christina Applegate
Meryl Streep
Emma Thompson
Kate Winslet
The last three ladies seemed to have something to say to everyone.

Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange acted nuts all night. What was up with them? And Drew looked 50-years-old. I wonder if she can stretch and kick and stretch. (SNL reference, for you non-hipsters.)

How adorable was it that the gorgeous girl from Slumdog Millionaire, Freida Pinto, carried her purse onstage to present?

Speaking of Slumdog…, I don’t think that anyone was happier than that cast, even before it won almost everything. They were having a grand old time just being here. Loved them!

What was up with the boob part of Eva Mendes’ dress? It looked like it was in the wrong place. Couldn’t figure it out for the life of me.

The two worst presenters were Seth Rogen and Sasha Baron Cohen. How in bad taste were their attempts at humor? Rogen mentioned “doing coke with Mickey Rourke,” while Baron’s “jokes” were downright offensive and far from timely. Or funny.

I’m happy to report that Renee Zellweger doesn’t look like a frog anymore–she now looks like an OLD frog!

Did Tina Fey have a nose job? It did look different. But since she’s apparently un-vain enough to show up with her hair a mess, and sweaty skin, why would she change her nose? Wouldn’t it be easier to brush her hair? (I actually feel bad writing this one.)

Kate Winslet appears to be a lovely person, and she’s an excellent actress, but Angelina Jolie got robbed for Best Actress. I really do think that people feel her life is too happy and figure since she has Brad Pitt, they don’t need to give her anything else. I really do think that.

Megan Fox is truly the most gorgeous female on the planet. Case closed.

I’m sure some of you who saw dashing Pierce Brosnan on the red carpet with his plus-size wife, Keely Shaye Smith, are head-scratching over the pairing. Let me clear it up for you–a few years back, she and I were both correspondents on Live In LA, a morning show with Steve Edwards, and she was gorgeous! She made me feel heavy, and I was 110lbs! After the Brosnans had their first child, she just ballooned and kept going. And apparently it doesn’t phase him, like it probably would the rest of shallow Hollywood. So he’s handsome AND lovely.

I enjoy seeing Sandra Bullock, my little mother’s fave. Years ago, she and I were up for the same part–the lead in a sitcom. I unfortunately got the worst flu I ever had, and had to show up at the final callback in that condition. She was the only competitor who was kind to me. She had seen my show and was sure I’d get the part. If it wasn’t going to be me, I wanted it to be her. We both lost out, but at least I got to know that not every actress is cutthroat and nasty.

And last but not least, though he’s been a wreck for a long time, the absolute most deserving winner was Mickey Rourke. I saw The Wrestler the day before the Globes and called everyone to tell them that I changed my SAG Awards vote to him, from Sean Penn. His performance was agonizingly painful and real. Nice to see a deserving comeback.

That’s it for now. I have to go rest my fangs for the upcoming SAG Awards. My mouth is watering as I write.


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