SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS 2016

This has already been a crazy year in show business.  And it got even moreso with the sort-of strange, and semi-unfair, SAG Awards this week-end.

You know that I always call ‘em as I see ‘em, with no political or race-motivated agenda, so why change that now, to fit these troubled-anew times? I’m just all about fairness.  So, here goes, warts and all, in every category. (One of my tweets, about Susan Sarandon‘s sixty-nine-year-old cleavage, got picked up by another, bigger on-line publication, pointing-out that none of us should not have commented on it. But isn’t that why people wear provocative outfits to begin with?! The answer to that is a big old fat YES!)

As to the performances in this year’s crop of films, I do realize that they are subjective, so, often, there’s no clear, overwhelming “winner,” (as I feel there is in the case of Leonardo DiCaprio’s tour de force in The Revenant this year. And thank goodness, most awards organizations have agreed with me so far. I just hope and pray that continues through the Oscars.)  However, it was embarrassingly clear that the majority of SAG members voted for only black* nominees, seemingly to show that we’re a better organization that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (the ones who do the Oscars) is.  And that is shameful. (And I predicted it in my tweets hours before the show!  I got every single winner correct except for ensemble, which should have been from a black film, but was not!) [*I can’t use the more politically correct term “African-American” in this case because Idris Elba is not American. And using just plain “African” is incorrect, too, because those actors are Americans.]

I’m in SAG, and have always hassled to see every single nominated performance before I vote!  I don’t know any other voting members who can say that.  I’m sure there are many, but the other actors I know tell me they don’t have the time for all that.  (Neither do I, especially since the nominations always come out right before my birthday month, and we have to see most of the films in January, but I choose to inconvenience myself, just to be fair to my fellow thespians.  As I always try to live by: Do unto others…)

I live-tweeted during the SAG Awards themselves, including the arrivals, (to mostly admiration, but there were a few haters, of course,) and even got quoted on that other site I mentioned earlier. (My handle, in case you want to follow me before the Oscars, is @MajorCelebrity∫.)  I don’t like repeating my tweets here, but in a very few cases, I will.  Otherwise, these are the thoughts that didn’t make it into the tweets because I just can’t do things that quickly! (And you can still read the rest on Twitter, of course.)

I’ll begin with the arrivals and then move on to the actual telecast. (And remember—each little paragraph is a separate thought; they’re not meant as a cohesive column.)

ARRIVALS, ON E

This seemed to be the only arrivals show on TV this time.  I guess the other channels just don’t deem the SAGs as important an awards show as the rest of them!  Here are my thoughts on it, (in addition to the ones I already tweeted, which I promise were many, both good and bad.  But mostly bad, of course!):

Why can’t every celebrity be as lovely as Eddie Redmayne. And did anyone else ever notice that his hands are so big compared to his head?

Why would Gaby Hoffman even try to look okay for the awards, when she has those weird spaces-featuring teeth and many gray hairs?  She even styled her hair showing off the side of her face that is missing teeth! (Oh wait—I just realized something this very second—maybe the other side of her mouth is worse!) And why would she wear bother to wear a designer dress that’s so ill-fitting?

I loved Brie Larson‘s dress.   (I think I’m by my lonesome in that assessment, though.)  And she just chose it that morning!

Eva Longoria‘s hair looked filthy!  And, of course, idiotic Giuliana Rancic from E told her it that it “looks good!” Yeah, maybe…if it’s about to be washed and styled!  That woman is such a supreme phony.

Mr. X asked about Eva, “Why would you feature your rack when you don’t have one?!”  Her cleavage was literally painted on.

Alicia Viklander is adorbs!  (I saw her speak earlier this season, and I can vouch for that assessment.)  Love her!  She’s someone who deserves all the accolades and awards she’s been getting.

Sarah Silverman‘s voice is like nails on a chalkboard.  How did she ever get this far in show business?!  [Note: I saw her in a packed comedy club a few years back, and she was dreadful.  She received very few laughs, and came close to being heckled off the stage.  I’ve never noticed her getting any better since then.]

Rami Malek did not take his date, Mr. Robot‘s PR girl, because she “deserved it” as he stated. I promise you, he’s crushing on her!  And they’d be a cute couple.  I’m rooting for it to happen, (as I’m sure he is!)

I could not believe that Idris Elba has that charming “working class” accent.  I really thought it would be an upper crust one.  I like him so much better this way! And I hadn’t realized how cute he is.

Eddie Redmayne’s real-life wife, Hannah Bagshawe, and on-screen wife, Alicia Viklander, looked so similar, even down to the dress! (But Alicia was rocking the best hair of the night, by far.)

I have to give credit where it’s due.  So, that gay male host (who kept saying he is, so that’s why it’s okay for me to identify him as such, as well, since I don’t know his name) was so funny with Jesse Tyler Ferguson discussing Barbra Streisand. He was good with adorable little Jacob Tremblay, too. I started-out hating him, but the guy grew on me.

Saoirse Ronan is adorable.  And she’s only the second girl I’ve ever seen who looks good wearing pastel eye make-up.  (The first was a college sorority sister of mine, Miriam.  She always wore a Revlon pastel shadow duo that looked great on her!  So, of course, I bought one, too, and it looked awful on me.  I hadn’t yet realized that not all make-up looks good on all peeps.)

Kaley Cuoco looked dreadful!  Why would she feature that almost-balding hairline?

Rooney Mara was in desperate need of a tan, earrings, and make-up!  And some boobs!

This was the absolute best Kate Winslet ever looked!   And she proved herself to be so nice, and honest.  I loved her interview!

How lovely of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban to give such a long, thoughtful, honest red carpet interview.

I had not seen Leonardo DiCaprio before the very end. I was thrilled to finally see him. I love that boy!!!

THE AWARDS TELECAST

I’m always glad that this show never has a host to bog it down.

Kristen Wiig looked absolutely dreadful. Those pants showed her saddlebags, (which I never noticed before,) her face was way too white, and she looked like she hadn’t had her make-up done yet. I have one word for her…lipstick!

Good speech by Uzo Aduba.

Mr. X wondered what Christian Bale would sound like because, as he put it, “He can sound like anybody!”

I predicted every single winner, based on the Oscars race controversy, because we voted for these SAGs just the day before they were given-out, which means we had a few weeks after that stupid Jada Pinkett Smith “boycott” of the Oscars began. So, I just knew that the body of SAG members would vote for skin color, rather than solely on performance. (That’s actually also a form of racism, by the way.) Some winners may have won anyway, but now we (and they) will never know. That’s such a sad situation, on all levels.

The show turned into a political statement, with not necessarily the most deserving winners.

This is the first year that the SAGs are not a predictor of the Oscars.

Interesting—there are so many non-standard females in the Orange Is The New Black cast, and I never even read for it! That’s a tad depressing. (I’m really kidding about that. I could not bear to be in jail, even if it’s make-believe.)

I’m so happy for winner Alicia Viklander. And her great hair!

Saoirse Ronan was adorable! Looking, talking, being.

Idris Elba seems so nice, doesn’t he? Outside of Leo, he became the person there with whom I’d most like to hang.

But in his acceptance speech (well, in one of them,) he should have said that his co-star, the wonderful young actor who is the star of Beasts of No Nation, Abraham Attah, (who, I believe, is the person of color who deserved nominations this year, and did not get them*,) made his job easy. (*But neither did the white little boy from Room. Those two need to boycott the Oscars for age discrimination. Rise up, young ‘uns!!!)

Anna Faris’ face looked awful, (and she stepped on the applause for military peeps, which was not a good move,) but I loved her backless-but-didn’t-look-it red dress.

At this point, the awards were downright embarrassing. And, as I mentioned, could be classified as reverse racism. The creepy Smiths (Will and Jada) ruined it for everyone! For the perhaps-deserving white actors who missed-out on honest voting, and for the black actors who won, who can’t know now if his or her win was truly merited. What a shameful mess.

Why did Rachel McAdams look like she was going to cry when she was on-stage presenting a clip from her film?

Upon Idris Elba’s second win of the night, he looked as sheepish as Kris Allen did when he erroneously, (due to some voting glitch with his home state,) beat Adam Lambert, the clear winner, on American Idol! This voting-on-race (either way, by the way) insanity has got to stop. We need to stop voting on race, and get back to voting on performance. Screen Actors Guild has always been a fair, inclusive bunch, but this was just embarrassing display. It turned into the BET Awards.  My fellow SAG members should be ashamed of themselves. They sacrificed the purity of the awards to make a political point, and this was neither the time nor place.

I want to just interject one thing about this race situation before I continue with my review of the night. My entire life, when I’ve felt that black actors (or athletes or politicians or just plain old people living their lives) are not getting their due, either, I’ve always been even more riled-up than I am now. I’m not rooting for any one peoples over any other—I just want things to be fair, all the way around.

Lyle Waggoner is perhaps the best-looking older man ever. (He’s eighty! And his gorgeous wife is in her seventies! They look great!)

I have always loved Carol Burnett. Kudos to her for her wonderful career, and to the powers-that-be at SAG to bestow upon her the LifetimeAchievement Award.

In case you didn’t already get the drift, my three fave actors this year, by more than far, are Leonardo DiCaprio, Jacob Tremblay, and Abraham Attah. And Leo started-out in the biz as a little boy, too, so the latter pair have something big to aspire to.

Nice of Susan Sarandon to feature her breasts as she’s introducing the always-somber In Memorium segment. She should have been more respectful, if not more modest. (And she sat there with her children, including a son, with her mammories hanging-out! That move was the opposite of classy.)

I was touched to see my beloved old friend, Taylor Negron, finally in the In Memorium segment. (My heart is still broken by his demise. If you’ve never read my tribute to him, just click here: itsnotaboutme.tv/news/tributerip-tribute-to-taylor-negron.) He had left this earth prior to last year’s SAG Awards telecast, but, for some unknown reason, he was left-out of that tribute. A lot of us must have complained because they included him this time. [Note: That oversight may have been because Taylor died on January 10th, and maybe they cut it off at December 31, but lots of us noticed the omission last year, and were upset by it.]

One of the actresses from Downton Abbey was wearing a pink dress that made my mouth water. It still is! There’s something about the color and perceived texture that I just adore!

And that group’s spokeswoman gave a lovely speech.

I love her, but Julianne Moore looked awful! That green dress was hideous to begin with, (it looked like a Christmas gift, after it had already been ripped open,) but she was so hunched-over that it made her look twenty times worse! Stand up straight, for goodness sake—you’re a star!

I hate to say it, but, honestly, after how all the rest of the awards went that night, I was thankful that nobody of color was in Leonardo’s category! If he had been screwed, I would have boycotted all of show business!!!

This is how great he is in The Revenant–I chose to spend my birthday night seeing that movie for the second time! And it’s not an easy one to watch. And it’s uber-long. But it’s hard to take-in all his brilliance in just one viewing.

Leo’s was the best speech I’ve ever heard.

Demi Moore looked the best of the night, even while featuring her giant dumbo ears. (I can say that because they look like mine. Only I’m not usually brave enough to show them off like she did, especially at an awards show!)

But how did she qualify to announce the the biggest award of the night? She hasn’t even made any movie, (I’m not even talking about a good one,) for years!

That was a very undeserved win for the Spotlight ensemble cast. It should have been either the Straight Outta Compton cast, (which is the one that Mr. X and I voted for–I love those guys!,) or the Beasts of No Nation one. (Shamefully, The Revenant was not even nominated. Where were the Native American boycotts?)

And now let me predict that next season, Birth of a Nation will win everything! They will probably all be deserved, but, because of the insanity this year, no one will ever 100% feel that. That’s so sad for all concerned. And it’s all because one crazy woman, Jada Pickett Smith, was pissed that her husband didn’t get a nod. (Someone just suggested to me that the Oscars peeps should have nominated Will Smith this year, underserving as he perhaps might be, just to avoid this craziness. How is that fair???)

And please remember to follow me on Twitter, @MajorCelebrity, before the Oscars.