AWARDS SHOW: OSCARS 2023

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OSCARS 2023

Before I get to my linear thoughts on the entire evening, let me share a few overall impressions of the proceedings.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS

I guess the Oscars have finally moved on from their #OscarsSoWhite hashtag. This year, it was #OscarsSoOld! (The average age of the actor winners is 57!!!) Or, even more politically incorrect, #OscarsSoAsian!

Jamie Lee Curtis looking just right. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jamie Lee Curtis looking just right. Photo by Karen Salkin.

As I’ve said and written before, in my opinion, (and in that of many others, it appears—I keep seeing articles about this from a few other brave journalists,) Everything Everywhere All At Once did not deserve most of their awards. But after the recent BAFTAs, where only white people won, didn’t we all see this coming? There was no way All Quiet on the Western Front, an overwhelmingly Aryan film, was going to win the so-deserved Best Picture Oscar over a primarily Asian one.

And as much as I’ve admired Michelle Yeoh since she starred in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon all those years ago, Cate Blanchett totally deserved to win Best Actress for her astonishing performance in Tar. Michelle, and apparently the majority of Oscars voters, seem to feel that since Cate’s already won twice, she didn’t need to win again. And if I hear Michelle say one more time that her own win is “historic,” and that it gives hope to “people who look like” her, I’m going to retch. (I’ve already screamed at the TV several times.) We get it already!!!

And, as much as I’m grateful to Jamie Lee Curtis for being one of my biggest fans back in the day, (when I was doing my TV show—I explain it all a bit further on in this review,) she was actually the least deserving of the nominees. Heck, she shouldn’t even have been nominated for Best Supporting Actress!!! No wonder Angela Bassett was disappointed! If the Academy was truly wanting to show their “wokeness,” they should have voted for her!

On a happier note, I had two absolutely favorite parts of the entire Oscars coverage, which went on and on, for about half a day!

Oscar winner Ernestine Hipper and Karen Salkin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Oscar winner Ernestine Hipper and Karen Salkin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

One is that My New Best Friend, Ernestine Hipper, won the Oscar for Best Set Design, for the absolute best film of the year, All Quiet on the Western Front. We had just met two days before, at a gifting suite for the occasion, and we spent some time there together, much longer than just a quick, “Nice to meet you.” She even sat with me while I had lunch, and she read what I had written about her exquisite film in this e-zine that very day! And she loved it! (So, future Oscar nominees—perhaps you should befriend me now!!!) Ernestine wanted to introduce me to the film’s Executive Producer, Lesley Paterson, but sadly for me, the timing just didn’t work out.

My other favorite part of the day is how wonderfully cool and honest Hugh Grant is! His interview with that awful Ashley Graham was an instant classic! Mr. X and I can’t stop watching it. Anyone who has a problem with Hugh because of it is just nuts. He answered her inane questions perfectly! First she asked what his favorite part of the proceedings is, (although she didn’t use that above-her-vocabulary-grade word, of course.) He replied, “It’s fascinating. The whole of humanity’s here. It’s vanity fair.” For people who don’t know the meaning of that term, (from which the popular magazine gets its moniker,) the dictionary describes it as “a scene or place characterized by frivolity and ostentation,” which the Oscars experience most definitely is! Instead of asking him to elaborate, while someone with half a brain explained it to her in her earpiece, Ashley very stupidly thought he was talking about the famous Oscars after-party, and she tried to clarify it to the audience that that’s what he meant! But, of course, that wasn’t at all what he meant. He should have definitely rolled his eyes at that, (as we all did at home,) but he did not, even though people have falsely accused him of it.

Ashley Graham and the wonderful Hugh Grant.

Ashley Graham and the wonderful Hugh Grant.

Graham panicked after that first great answer from Hugh, which she absolutely didn’t understand, so she asked her next stupid question, about for whom he was rooting, and when he answered honestly that he wasn’t rooting for anyone in particular, she quickly went with the nauseating, “What are you wearing?,” to which he answered, “Just my suit!” So perfect!!! He didn’t want to be a phony, as almost everyone else on an awards show carpet is, and make like this was the biggest thing happening in the world. He answered honestly and with charm. And he didn’t “roll his eyes” at her, as so many idiots have asserted. He kind-of involuntarily blinked them incredulously to himself as he walked off that little raised platform. Good for him!!! I love him even more now!

So, note to television producers everywhere, because few have gotten the memo: You can’t have morons interviewing people!

Several of the very many attention-seekers. Except for Zoe Saldana who looked classy in her gold top and long black skirt. I have no idea why she was included in this grouping!

Several of the very many attention-seekers. Except for Zoe Saldana who looked classy in her gold top and long black skirt. I have no idea why she was included in this grouping!

There was soooo much more to make fun of at this year’s Oscars, from so many lesser females trying waaaaay too hard to be noticed by going half-naked, (they were all just desperate for publicity, so I’m not going to play into their hands and name them,) to the inane carpet interviewers who know how to ask only pat, unimportant questions, to Lady Gaga‘s inexplicable removal of all her hard-put-on make-up, (including us being subjected to her bare chapped lips!) And everything in-between.

And don’t even get me started on that uber-selfish woman with the gigantic white schmata sticking way up from, and surrounding, her head and shoulders, totally blocking the view of several audience members behind her. And even the people next to her had to move out of the way all night! How uncomfortable for everyone around her. That desperation should not have been tolerated—the producers should have had someone go over and insist she take it down or leave the theatre. The President of the Academy had said they would have zero tolerance for shenanigans this year, (and even stated it again on the “carpet,”) and this was definitely in that category, so they should have acted accordingly.

The extremely rude woman in that white get-up. She should have been kicked-out of the audience! Look at the man to her left, hurting his back trying to not be knocked over by her! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The extremely rude woman in that white get-up. She should have been kicked-out of the audience! Look at the man to her left, hurting his back trying to not be knocked over by her!

Why can’t all the attendees of the most revered awards show just be classy, as Malala was???

I have to admit that my heart wasn’t fully into most of it this year. I didn’t really love anything about the show, outside of most of host Jimmy Kimmel‘s bits. And I knew that All Quiet On The Western Front wouldn’t win Best Picture, because people are either idiots or sheep or both, and, as I alluded to above, the voters desperately wanted to show how un-racist they are by voting for Everything Everywhere All At Once.

On top of all that, it’s hard to give-out some good old-fashioned criticism anymore because idiots always brand it as racism, fat-shaming, ageism, or something else that it is not. It just doesn’t pay to be witty anymore.

So I barely live-tweeted about any of the proceedings. But if you’d like to still read the few I did do, my moniker on Twitter is @MajorCelebrity.

Oscar nominee Kerry Condon, one of the very few people there who is beautiful, lovely, and honest! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Oscar nominee Kerry Condon, one of the very few people there who is beautiful, lovely, and honest! Just look at that glowing-from-within face! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Still, I thought it was basically an excellent show, and I did take the following notes to share with you.

I don’t really understand the wins for the Everything Everywhere All At Once actors, (both Mr. X and I voted for other people for the SAG awards,) but I am happy to see older peeps, especially ones who have been through so much, winning.  And it obviously meant a lot to them, which was nice to see.

By the way, this was not the 95th anniversary of the Oscars, as all the morons kept saying; it was the 95th year. Next year will be the 95th anniversary. Anniversaries go from the first date, not before they even began!!! (Has no one there gone to elementary school???)

ARRIVALS

Perfect-looking Marlee Matlin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Perfect-looking Marlee Matlin. Photo by Karen Salkin.

All the carpet interviewers were awful, desperate, embarrassing, and declaring that they’re the number one place where everyone wants to stop. And then they consistently get snubbed, while I laugh.

Many of the people who walked the carpet did look good.

Jamie Lee Curtis looked among the best.  I love when older women know enough to wear long sleeves and a normal neckline, as opposed to the ones who feature their wrinkly cleavage and Hadassah arms! Her white-ish dress matched her hair, which, despite that I hate grey and white hair, looked perfect on her.

Marlee Matlin looked absolutely stunning, both her perfect attire and her glowing face!!! And she was the most charming one there, and had the best words to say.

Ninety-four-year-old James Hong mugging for the cameras. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Ninety-four-year-old James Hong mugging for the cameras. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I loved seeing ninety-four-year-old James Hong. I’m glad that he’s doing so well, especially compared to pix we saw this week of two ninety-three-year-olds, Gene Hackman and Bob Newhart. I actually choked-up a bit hearing him talk.

Malala looked gorgeous! What a perfect dress! I saw the hood of the dress as a fashion statement when I watched the show, but it just hit me that it’s to cover her head because of her culture and faith. Very clever.

Inexplicable official pre-show host, Vanessa Hudgens, worked on her look extra hard. Can any of you figure-out why? Because she was hoping to interview her former long-time boyfriend, Best Actor nominee Austin Butler. And she wants him to eat his guts out. Especially because his new main squeeze is very young model, Kaia Gerber! I rooted for the very uncomfortable reunion to happen all night. (But darn it, it did not! Ashley Graham interviewed Austin instead. I wonder whose choice that was?)

One of the arrivals hosts smartly rocking...a coat!!! Photo by Karen Salkin.

One of the arrivals hosts smartly rocking…a coat!!! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’m shocked to be saying this myself, but Vanessa actually did pretty well. Much better than ever before. And without too many horrible uncomfortable giggles, which she usually does with every word she utters.

Their third host for the official pre-show, (who I have no idea who she is,) was the smartest one there because…she wore a coat! Good for her. And it was hot pink, so it was sort-of disguised as awards attire.

But when she interviewed creepy Florence Pugh, they said “amazing” about two dozen times between them! In about two minutes. That’s a worse record than all the “like”s the Bachelor cast fits into their two hours!

The lovely, angelic Hong Chau.Photo by Karen Salkin.

The lovely, angelic Hong Chau.Photo by Karen Salkin.

Hong Chau, who plays the nurse in The Whale, is probably the nicest, sweetest, least phony, (meaning “not at all,”) person who’s ever graced celluloid!!! I cannot tell you how big a fan of hers I became that night. (And she’s a wonderful actress, as well.)

There are females who can rock a tux, (as I used to do in my much younger, very thin, starting-out days,) and then there’s Sarah Polley. She looked awful!!! And the idiot host, Ashley said, “You look so divine in this suit!” First of all it’s a tux, not a suit, and she looked dreadful!!!

Zoe Saldana looked casually elegant, which I liked. Hearing her speak about her three sons, (“They come through you, but they don’t belong to you—they belong to themselves,”) I realized she’s so much deeper than I ever would have thought.

Mindy Kaling was never good-looking, but look how weird she looks now, with that sharp nose job! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mindy Kaling was never good-looking, but look how weird she looks now, with that sharp nose job! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mindy Kaling had a major nose job, and lost a ton of weight, as did half of Hollywood recently. But she looks so weird from the front.

Gabriel LaBelle, the teen in The Fabelmans, seemed very nice.

Kerry Condon‘s face is so delicately beautiful. And she’s so honest—she said she’s exhausted from this whole season!

Jennifer Connolly looks her usual combo of beautiful and miserable. Her face always reminds Mr. X and me to not watch the movies she’s in because there’s sure to be misery involved. (And although still very pretty, she looked kind of used-up that night.)

Baz Luhrmann's new face. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Baz Luhrmann’s new face. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jonathan Majors got the name of his designer very wrong, and then said, “He’s a good friend of mine.” And he was carrying an empty mug! When that Ashley host mentioned it, he said that he’s always carrying it! And she didn’t follow up! What a lost opportunity!

Kelly Ripa’s face is so surgeried-out now!!!

Why did Nicole Kidman, (looking a bit like M3GAN,) keep hanging all over, and making-out with, Keith Urban the whole time? What exactly is it that they’re trying to prove?

What did Baz Luhrmann do to his face??? He looks like Liberace now!

THE SHOW

Emily Blunt. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Emily Blunt. Photo by Karen Salkin.

This was the most grateful group of winners I’ve ever witnessed! And it was the most appreciative audience to go along with them.

What a great, great, great monologue from Jimmy Kimmel!

Emily Blunt looked beautiful!

Best Supporting Actor Ke Huy Quan gave one of the most emotional speeches I’ve ever heard!

In case you missed my earlier comment about Hong Chau, I can’t get over what a beautiful person she is. She was positively glowing. And those gorgeous teeth! OMG! I don’t even mind her Dopey-esque ears!  (I have my own version of those protrusions, so I can say it.) They actually look cute on her.

Angela Bassett is not a sore loser—she just isn’t a phony, cheering for someone else; she was heartbroken for herself.

It seemed like Jamie Lee Curtis said that everyone she’s ever met won her Oscar, which includes me! When I was doing my TV show, Karen’s Restaurant Revue, those many years ago, Jamie Lee came over to meet me at an event, to tell me that KRR is “the greatest TV show in the history of television!” (I had just overheard her tell her friend that something was “the greatest TV show in the history of television,” and I was wondering what it was, when all of a sudden, Jamie Lee was standing in front of me, introducing herself, and telling me that it was my show! OMG!!!) I’m still grateful to her for that! Oh, and I accept my Oscar!

Eva Longoria featuring her mis-matched boobs. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Eva Longoria featuring her mis-matched boobs. Photo by Karen Salkin.

I’ve never heard of Sofia Carson before, (she sang a nominated song on the show,) but could she have been more nasal??? I think not.

Why did Lady Gaga dress like a punk and wash off all her make-up to do that lame song???

Why in the world would Eva Longoria choose to showcase her boobs, which hung down to different places from each other?

Poor Andie MacDowell looked sooooo old! She’s not one of those women, like Jamie Lee, who can carry-off gray hair. Hugh Grant’s joke about her looking good while he does not didn’t work, at all, because while both in their early sixties, Andie looks about ninety while he looks fifty!

Sexagenarians Andie MacDowell and Hugh Grant. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Sexagenarians Andie MacDowell and Hugh Grant. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The only thing I hated about All Quiet on the Western Front is the music. So it’s the only award I didn’t want it to win. But, of course, it did.

Apparently, Danai Gurira didn't care if the people sitting behind her could see the show or not! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Apparently, Danai Gurira didn’t care if the people sitting behind her could see the show or not! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Jessica Chastain is the only smart one there, wearing a mask! But she had bright red lipstick on underneath, ready for her close-ups. How did it not smudge?! (That’s her in the mask in the big pic at the top of this page. Photo by Karen Salkin.)

Danai Gurira, from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, looked pissed when she appeared on stage to present a musical number. She must have just read my tweet about how rude her Marge Simpson hair was to the people behind her!

Rihanna is such a pretty girl.

Why were Nicole Kidman and Michael B. Jordan seated in the front row, center, instead of nominees???

Is that Nicole Kidman or M3GAN??? Photo by Karen Salkin.

Is that Nicole Kidman or M3GAN??? Sorry the photo is so big–I didn’t mean to scare you all! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Florence Pugh looked like an idiot. Her hair-do was disgusting and she looked like she was wearing a crumpled bedspread! And she thinks that her chunky leg is that of Angelina Jolie!

Florence Pugh, wearing her bedspread, thinking she's cool to show her chunky leg, and with perhaps the most unattractive hairdo ever! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Florence Pugh, wearing her bedspread, thinking she’s cool to show her chunky leg, and with perhaps the most unattractive hairdo ever! Photo by Karen Salkin.

The “Daniels” were very grateful for their win for Best Director for Everything Everywhere All At Once.

The only thing that Jimmy Kimmel did all night of which I disapproved was his very nasty joke that everyone should vote for if they should include Robert Blake in that night’s upcoming In Memoriam segment. It was absolutely not necessary, and brought the room down a little. The assemblage even gasped a bit. He had claimed in an interview that week that he “doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” but how did he think Blake’s family would feel hearing that rudeness?

Will wonders never cease? Janelle Monáe was wearing color!!!

M.M. Keeravaani and Chandrabose, the winners for Best Song, Naatu Naatu, from India’s film, RRR, appeared so confident. I don’t know if was really the best song, but the dancing to it in the presentation was fabulous!

It looked like John Travolta had a nose job. That would be strange, right? (But it appeared a few others did, too. And that they are all taking that new weight loss drug—some of them looked very odd.) And when he came out on stage already crying, I knew he was going to be introducing the In Memoriam bit. But he was so weird. (He’s a bit of a weirdo in general, though.) He messed-up his words, and he even couldn’t pronounce “indelible!” Shades of his infamous “Adele Dizeme” incident from a few years ago.

Janelle Monae wearing a color! Photo by Karen Salkin.

Janelle Monae wearing a color! Photo by Karen Salkin.

I didn’t know why they chose Lenny Kravitz, of all people, to sing for that sadness. But his song actually worked for it.

But, very sadly, they left out quite a few recently deceased movie stars. I know you can’t include everyone, (there were already about sixty of them,) but the omissions of Anne Heche, Melinda Dillon, and very young Triangle of Sadness star, Charlbi Dean, (whose death was a real tragedy,) were egregious. Shame on the people who decide the inclusions! (There also should have been William Hurt, Topol, Tom Sizemore, Stella Stevens, Cindy Williams, and Paul Sorvino, who was one of the stars of Goodfellas, for goodness’ sake! Those Oscars editors should perhaps watch their backs now!)

The only Oscar Everything Everywhere All At Once should have won, in my opinion, is Best Editing, which it did. But the winner, Paul Rogers, was kind of obnoxious.

I hate to mention how rude and gross this was, but Jamie Lee Curtis was sitting in the front row with her shoes off, and her feet sprawled-out in front of her, like she was in her own living room. Ew. This was the very public Oscars for goodness’ sake!

Okay, that’s it for the 2023 Oscars. I’m really glad this very disappointing awards season is finally over! Hopefully next year, everyone will vote fairly, for the real best performances and films, and not do what they feel they need to do to look good to others like them. A girl can hope, can’t she?

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5 Comments

  1. Hi Karen.

    Your reviews of all the award shows are the best! My friends and I have stopped reading any others! Some of us don’t even watch the shows anymore!

    we were sad you didn’t write about the sag awards, but we think that’s because they weren’t on tv.

    Keep up the good work!

    From The Westwood Girls

  2. Your comments on the Oscars and other shows like it are perfect, but I just want to tell you that I also love your chocie of pictures on all of them. They’re so different than the ones you find on other media sites. That one of Nicole Kidman is priceless!

  3. Noelle Hannibal on

    We know we disagree on many, many shows/films/actors. I love much of what you wrote, however, I am on the EEAAO train. It was my favourite film of the year and I was rooting for all of them, including the film. I have to respond to a couple of your points: “And if I hear Michelle say one more time that her own win is “historic,” and that it gives hope to “people who look like” her, I’m going to retch. (I’ve already screamed at the TV several times.) We get it already!!!” In her post win interview, she said that it was for EVERY minority who hasn’t been seen saying, “it’s not just for the Asian community, but for any one who has been identified as a minority.” As a woman of colour, I fully understand this sentiment. Michelle was only the second woman of colour to take home that award. To have it presented to her by the first woman of colour to take home Best Actress, Halle Berry, was moving and meant something to me. Saying, “we get it already” is rather inconsiderate. Walk a mile in any of the outstanding women of colour who have deserved that award time and time again and perhaps it wouldn’t bother you so much. No, I’m not saying you’re racist. I know you well! I just think that sometimes putting yourself in someone else’s shoes will allow you to see the bigger picture.

    Jamie Lee broke her foot in her excitement! I imagine adrenaline got her through, but ouch! I’d take my shoes off too! haha

    Now, on o Jessica’s lipstick. It was probably a stain. Similar to one you liked on me. It doesn’t budge. In fact,, it’s hard to get off! I can recommend one to you, if you like!

  4. Karen Salkin on

    Hi Noelle.

    I hear you. On all of it! Especially as someone who’s Jewish, (so we’ve always been thru things,) and a white girl who was with a black guy for years, way before it was accepted, (so you can imagine what we went through.) But I don’t keep talking about any of it ad naseum.

    As an example, seeing Barbra Steisand have so much success as a Jewish girl with a big nose, (both of which I share with her,) didn’t give me hope that I’d be a famous actress, as well. And, as much as I dislike her personally, (I have stories!,) I never heard her say that she was giving hope to people who looked like her.

    So I feel like Michelle Yeoh stating that over and over again is enough already. That’s all. (And the weirdness about her tweeting that Cate Blanchett shouldn’t win this time because she has two other Oscars, just when the Academy members were voting, was not cool. The person who deserves to win anything should always win, in my opinion. And Cate definitely deserved to win!)

    And yes, I definitely DO want to know your lip stain!!! ;)

    Karen

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