OSCARS 2016—PART I: THE ACTUAL SHOW
The 2016 Academy Awards have come and gone, and with them, all of my tweets from last night. I don’t like to repeat myself, but you can still read my bon mots on my Twitter page, @MajorCelebrity. And, no worries—I think that most of them are nice this time!!!
I’m so happy for Leonardo DiCaprio (in my most satisfying Oscar win ever) that I have to go out of order for a bit. (You just know how much I love him then, because my linear mind hates going out of order!)
I was so hysterically sobbing over Leo’s win that I cried off half my lash extensions that were just applied (for two whole hours, I might add) three days prior! How’s that for true fan-ship?! Never have I seen a more deserving winner, and never have I rooted so hard for someone to win an Oscar.
And that he used his acceptance speech time to implore us to help put an end to climate change made me love him even more (as if that was even possible.)
Before I begin my official review of what I consider to be, ironically, the most “black” Oscars ever, let me tell you how it used to be. My boyfriend before Mr. X is black, and that was in a time when bi-racial relationships were far from accepted. So I experienced extreme racism up-close and personal. I was the first to cry-out about the discrimination if someone of color deserved something and didn’t get it. (I was also brought up by a black woman, my precious Edna, from the time I was one, and we were so close that, when I was little, I just assumed she and I were the same ethnicity.)
So you know where I’m coming from. But this Oscar controversy is just nutty. No one of color deserved the nod this year, (in my opinion, and in that of the majority of Academy voters, apparently, hence, they didn’t get it!) [Note: I would have been happy if little Abraham Attah, from Beasts of No Nation had gotten nommed, but I don’t know which other male I would have shut-out. And besides—his exclusion is age-biased, not race!]
Are the voters supposed to cast aside a white actor, whose work they want to reward, for a lesser performance by another, just because he or she is black?! It should not work that way! Yet, that’s what these nuts are demanding. And, if all the speeches this year are correct, that’s just what we’re going to get next year, like what happened with the SAG Awards this year! So, I’m just pointing-out just how unfair that is! Whoever deserves the nominations—black, white, Asian, Latino, old, young, American, or foreigner—should receive it. Dot, dash, end of story!
Wait—not exactly the end. Now, no one of color will know if they really deserve the recognition, or are just getting the “charity nod.” I’d hate that for myself! If my fellow Jews boycotted because enough of us weren’t getting nominated, (and we’re not, by the way, but that’s another story,) and then I did, I’d wonder the whole time why I got the nomination. The big-mouths who started this all should be ashamed of themselves for potentially ruining it for everyone.
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. (For the umpteenth, and I hope final, time.) Now on to my (numerous) thoughts on this years’s Oscars!
I’m beginning with the actual show this time, because there’s so much to say, and then, tomorrow, I’ll cover the arrivals, (even though, by then, the limited-attention-span-public will be on to the next thing!)
And then, I’ll finally wrap it all up with my articles about all the Oscars Suites and parties! By then, it should be time to get started on the Emmys! (Just joking about all that! I hope!)
Here we go with my thoughts on the show, as it was happening:
I, for the main part, loved Chris Rock. His monolog was just right. I was especially happy about his diss of the creepy Jada Pinkett Smith, who started the whole boycott nonsense when her husband, Will, didn’t get nominated. I’m thrilled that Chris’ words, and the audience reaction, showed that not all black people are supporting her mishegas.
But Chris way over-did it down the line. As did a lot of others on stage that night. They all made this show about black people, when it should have been about only the movies and achievements in film this year. This is a major case of less-is-more. Or should have been.
But I especially loved his bit about a grandmother’s lynching taking precedence over the Oscars, and then his intro of the first two presenters: “You want diversity? We got diversity! Please welcome Emily Blunt, and somebody whiter, Charlize Theron.”
Why did Charlize mess with her beautiful face? It looks like she’s definitely had work done. Shame.
I hated the pre-thought-out “thank yous” scrolling while the winners were ascending the stage. It was distracting, and put pressure on the victors to mention everyone, since they had no excuse to have forgotten any names.
I’m not sure I was a fan of the order of awards. I applaud the originality, but, at first, it hit me wrong. But later, I realized that no one cares what order the technical ones go in, and are watching to see the actor and director and picture winners. So, I gave up caring, as well.
Ryan Gosling‘s so funny. I don’t know if he gets enough recognition for that. (Russell Crowe helped their bit, too. And, did he lose some weight? If so, good for him.)
That Stacy Dash bit fell more than flat.
There’s just something so creepy about Sarah Silverman. And (I feel bad saying this, but you know you’re all thinking it) she’s so bad-looking. Her nostrils actually make me kind-of queasy. And that hair-do did her no favors.
I love Sam Smith, but how was that song even up for an Oscar, no less win it?! And Mr. X remarked that Sam was singing it like he didn’t write it, and I immediately knew just what he meant. I didn’t even pause the performance when I tweeted about it because I did not care to give his performance my undivided attention. It was that boring!
I love Sam’s voice and other music, but I can’t take his lisp. Why doesn’t he try to fix it? His “team” should make him do it already!
Henry Cavill looks like what I thought Hayden Christiansen would grow up to look like. (See their two pix, above.)
Everyone’s been writing that Alicia Vikander forgot to thank her beau, fellow nominee Michael Fassbender. Well, I think it was on purpose, to keep their relationship separate from their work. I’m pretty sure they began seeing each other after she wrapped The Danish Girl, so her win had nothing to do with him. She didn’t list him in her scroll of people to thank, either, so I think she meant to not include him. And, him being him, I think he totally understood.
Why would Best Costume Design winner Jenny Beavan wear that to the Oscars? Very strange choice for a costume designer. (And, as I tweeted last night, have you ever seen her and Bruce Vilanch together?)
They very often didn’t even scroll last names! How rude.
I’m so glad that Jared Leto cut his hair. And it’s a normal color.
Enough with the racial comments already! They were soooo inappropriate!
Let me get this straight–the winners got played off, but the producers of the show wasted our time with the Star Wars robots, Minions, and Girls Scout cookies! (By the way—where are the formally-attired guests, with no purse room even, supposed to put the boxes they just bought?)
Speaking of the cookies bit, I had just told Mr. X that Chris Rock was so much better than Ellen Degeneres as host, all the way around, but especially because he didn’t waste our time with inanity, like Ellen did last year with her stupid ordering pizzas bit. And then Chris had to go and disappoint me by doing this! I’ve sat in awards shows audiences, many a time, and we do get hungry, but let everyone bring in their own nuts or bars. Or give them snacks in the lounge in commercial breaks, along with the drinks they already sell. But definitely don’t threaten the guests’ choice fashions with nasty crumbs, especially grease (like last year,) and chocolate, like they did this go-round!
I love Kate Winslet‘s interesting black shiny dress. And specs.
Even though the taped bit of Chris Rock interviewing several local black film-goers, who had never heard of most of these nominated films, (ala a Jimmy Kimmel segment) was amusing, it was beyond unnecessary because it just showed his race in a really bad light. And proved nothing! Academy members are people who have proven themselves for very many years in this extremely hard industry. It’s not the People’s Choice Awards, for goodness sake! The Oscars are meant to be a classy affair, highlighting the best of the best in film achivement, and this stupid bit didn’t shame the organization at all, not even one little bit. If anybody was shamed, it was the ignorant people on the tape, and the whole cringe-inducing thing had no business on the telecast. I’m just sayin’.
I do feel awful for Sylvester Stallone, but Mark Rylance really deserved the Best Supporting Actor Oscar. He was brilliant in Bridge of Spies. And his acceptance speech was beautiful and perfect.
After giving it much thought, I gave Whoopi Goldberg credit for wearing a dress, (no matter how much like a Volkswagen cover it looked,) rather than her usual slouchy tent-like attire. But really, her appearance on the show just reminded us that she won her Oscar all those years ago only because she is black.
It was way too obvious that they loaded the show with black presenters. That was weird. (But, it just showed that, after all was said and done, it looked like the Smiths were the only actors of color who boycotted the Oscars!)
They screwed us out of two nominated songs! We heard only three of them, which is just wrong. They easily could have (and should have!,) had the opera singer sing the song from Youth! But they obviously wanted only the famous singer composers, like Sam Smith, Lady Gaga, and The Weeknd. Shame on them for that. (Hey—maybe next year, non-pop-singer composers can do a boycott!)
How rude of Sacha Baron Cohen to do that to Room, the serious nominated film he was presenting, which he made into the punchline for a stupid, jokey, non-approved bit of his.
Best Director, (deservedly so, for the amazing The Revenant, which should have definitely won Best Picture,) Alejandro Inarritu, said his piece about diversity (in his acceptance speech) like he meant it. He’s the only one who sounded sincere. (As opposed to bitter, appeasing, or just wind-bagging.)
I absolutely love the adorbs relationship between Best Actress winner Brie Larson and her adorable little Room co-star, Jacob Tremblay, who really did get screwed out of a nomination.)
Spotlight won Best Picture only because it featured a big, popular cast with lots of friends in the Academy.
By the constant reminders of Chris Rock, and others, about the racial controversy, it made these the blackest awards ever.
And that he ended this glamorous Hollywood event by, rather than just congratulating the winners, or thanking the audience for watching, said, “Black lives matter!” Honey, do that at the BET Awards, not at the Academy Awards! What a horrible, uncomfortable, Debbie Downer way to end the otherwise entertaining affair!
And they ended the credits with a song from Straight Outta Compton, which was totally inappropriate.
skewer review all the arrivals shows for you, so please check back for it. That’s where I’ll discuss everyone’s looks! Yay!