AWARDS SHOW: GOLDEN GLOBES 2014

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GOLDEN GLOBES 2014

 

The first awards show of the year, the Golden Globes, has come and gone, with not too much controversy. I was happy about some winners, okay with others, and absolutely scratching my head over the pretty bad sitcom, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and it’s star Andy Samberg, winning both those awards. You’ll see my real thoughts on it, below.

I’ve been fighting a cold the last few days, and I definitely don’t want to be sick for my birthday tomorrow, so I’m taking the easy way out here, and sharing my thoughts on the telecast and arrivals, as they happened, without much editing. And there aren’t as many pictures as usual because they take a lot of time that I don’t have right now. So, if I mention a look that I don’t show a photo of, please just check the rest of the web for it.

This is a long one, because I had thoughts on everybody, so I won’t be insulted if you just skim. Here we go:

 

THE SHOW

 

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing their usual excellent hosting gig.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing their usual excellent hosting gig.

Excellent opening, of course.

Jennifer Lawrence deserved the win, but I didn’t think she’d get it.

A lot of thoughts on Jacqueline Bisset: first off, don’t feature that crepey chest! Her face is still so beautiful, though. Where was an escort to direct her the correct way to the stage? Mr. X had to get up and move during her speech because he was so uncomfortable. And I was clutching my chest. OMG! That speech reminded me of one Leslie’s Caron gave at the Women In Film Awards several years ago, that went on for about an hour and put everyone to sleep. But I loved that the censors made a mistake and bleeped “…the people that gave me” and left in “shit.” That was hilarious to me.

Sophia Vergara has fun, no matter what. I love that.

Naomi Watts and Mark Ruffalo made a good duo. I love them both.

Why isn’t anyone directing these people to the stage?

They’re surprising us with some of the winners.

A blonde girl is wearing a dress I love; it’s bright blue with a high neck and short sleeves.

Why would already-homely Elizabeth Moss wear her hair that way??? She looked like a witch!

All the men’s make-up was showing too much, especially Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Christophe Waltz, Andy Samberg, and Seth Meyers.

Jim Carrey got more likable with age, since he calmed down.

I swear–in a break, Emma Thompson and Colin Farrell looked like they were kissing! Or at least heavily flirting. (And, as he admitted recently with his Elizabeth Taylor crush, he may have a thing for older excellent actresses.) Perhaps a new couple alert?

I guess Bruce Dern doesn’t believe in trimming his hair and nose hair.

Funny HFPA President for once, who gave a short, okay speech.

Is Paula Patton insane to have worn that crazy, way overdone dress!?

So many green jewelry accents.

I never saw Breaking Bad, but Bryan Cranston looked like a popular win, and gave a nice speech.

I loved seeing the real Philomena Lee. It actually choked me up. And I loved her purple dress.

Kate Beckinsale is so gorgeous. And she was wearing the best dress ever.

But Usher was an a-hole to push his way through her and Diddy so he’d be in the center. The gorgeous girl should have been!!!

Alex Ebert and his girlfriend.  Photo by Karen Salkin.

Alex Ebert and his girlfriend. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The music guy winner, Alex Ebert, was so interesting. He’s a good-looking guy with a horrible sense of beauty; his hair, beard, attire, and girlfriend were all so unattractive. Ugh. But he and Diddy made his speech fun.

U2‘s winning ditty for Mandela sounds just like everything they ever wrote.

Best Meryl Streep ever looked.

I didn’t know Chris Martin was cute!!!

I love that Leonardo DiCaprio always has a twinkle in his eye.

Jon Voight–still with the schmatah around his neck. And as for his acceptance speech–give that man a script!!!

Have you ever seen Amber Heard and Olivia Wilde together? (I don’t mean as a couple: I mean they look alike.) (OMG! I wrote it this before the latter came on!!!)

These Golden Globe acting categories and nominees are so confusing.

I’m happy for Amy Adams because she deserved it out of the five nominees in her category.

Robin Wright's side boob tape. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Robin Wright’s side boob tape. Photo by Karen Salkin.

Robin Wright is still beautiful. But that tape on her side boob was not attractive. I think now we know what she looks like naked. And why didn’t she mention her new fiancé???

Jared Leto deserved his win.

Even though I love her and think she’s usually classy, Emma Thompson‘s stupid bit fell flat.

Spike Jonze winning for writing Her is just is nutty to me.

Good job, Miss Golden Globe, in herding-off the lingerers.

Nice for Laura Dern to intro her dad, who once picked Mr. X up hitch-hiking.

Andy Samberg is the only fun thing about his stupid show, but so not deserving. Especially against the brilliant Jim Parsons! Strange win.

I always love seeing them all mingling on the way to commercial.

The speech by the man whose foreign film won was great. He ended with, “Italy, that’s a crazy country but beautiful.” Loving it.

Melissa McCarthy is heavier than ever. She really needs to lose weight, not for looks, but for health. It’s uncomfortable to watch her.

Emma Watson looked really cute. And Chris Pine looks like he’s gunning to be the next James Bond.

The directors of Frozen were the most appreciative.

Emma Stone‘s outfit was hideous. Period. Mr. X said it looked like two outfits. But he was wrong…it was three.

Diane Keaton looked great…for her. I think she must have had her neck done. But her body looked really great, especially in that men’s suit. And she had a great style for gray hair.

This picture is really for Martin Scorcese, in the background, but I figured I may as well throw-in Leo's beautiful visage, as well.  Photo by Karen Salkin.

This picture is really for Martin Scorcese, in the background, but I figured I may as well throw-in Leo’s beautiful visage, as well. Photo by Karen Salkin.

No one cracks me up just by looking at his face like Marty Scorsese. I sincerely mean that as a compliment.

I hate that Woody Allen wasn’t there to accept his special award. I understand, but I feel he could have broken down and showed-up.

Uma Thurman looked great.

Someone from Brooklyn Nine-Nine is doing something to the HFPA members because it sucks, and definitely didn’t even deserve the nomination, let alone the win. And Andy over Jim Parsons was crazy!!! (Mr. X said basically the same thing I did, but cruder.)

I’m sooooo happy for Leo!!! He deserved the win, and was so appreciative and well-spoken. I said in my review of Wolf… last week that I don’t even think he’s very good-looking, and he’s not one of my celeb crushes. But hearing him speak, both those conditions changed in one minute.

Reese Witherspoon looked great for her. But Mr. X always rags on her giant chin. If we fused hers and mine, and cut them in half, we’d have two normal chins.

It was exciting to see the real Niki Lauda. He’s such a legend, that I paid attention to him even with him standing beside the gorgeous Chris Hemsworth.

I think Bradley Cooper is secretly in love with Jennifer Lawrence.

JLaw shouldn’t have to keep pulling up her dress.

Cate Blanchett is an excellent actress, but I agree with Mr. X who said, “I don’t buy her in that film.” I thought she was working too hard. But she mentioned the Magic Castle in her speech, where I once worked, so at least that was good.

It was funny that she asked if people at home can hear the play-off music, so I have to ask–has she never seen an awards show?!

I couldn’t be happier for Matthew McConaughey. So deserving.

Johnny Depp looks worse than ever, with that blondish, yellowish, dirty hair.

No sooner had I told Mr. X that 12 Years A Slave had to win because otherwise there would be a fuss that, with so many excellent black pictures this year, there were no winners, then it did! Good for the HFPA!

And the show ended on time! Good thing Woody didn’t show up after all!!!

 

NBC ARRIVALS

 

Amy Adams always seems so sweet. But I hate that she put her gorgeous hair up; she looked like she was about to wash her face.

Lena Dunham–I don’t need to say how bad she looked. I t would be news if she ever looked good. And that hair. Ugh. She’s the only person I think should get extensions.

I’ve never seen Orange Is The New Black, but Taylor Schilling was dreadful in Mercy, so I don’t get it.

Matthew M.’s looks really could go either way, which is actually shocking for one so gorgeous.

I could totally see Kaley Cuoco‘s extensions.

Jim and Kaley are so real. I mean it.

Out in the bad lighting of the sun, Robert Redford finally looks his age.

Matt Lauer‘s posture gets worse all the time. He actually has a dowager’s hump now. Shame.

Kevin Bacon‘s daughter, Miss Golden Globes, seems really nice.

The annoying bad interviewer from NBC. Maybe she was just freaked-out being there. Photo by Karen Salkin.

The annoying bad interviewer from NBC. Maybe she was just freaked-out being there. Photo by Karen Salkin.

That Tamran woman from the network is an awful interviewer. She had Redford there, and kept not putting the mike by him!

Heidi Klum looked so regular. I was surprised. Most girls look better rocking my hairdo, (long straight hair and bangs,) but it didn’t work on her. And her eyes looked bland and really tired. Had she been crying?

Tom Hanks‘ wife has enough money to get a trainer and nutritionist, so she should not look this bad. And since she does, she shouldn’t be wearing a naked-ish dress.

Julia Roberts‘ teeth are getting more horsey, and very separated. She need braces.

Hayden Panettiere seems really nice. And she’s the only one who looked good in that short blunt haircut.

Why are they making it like Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers are desperate for guests??? It’s pitiful.

Even though Carson Daly is known for his non-personality, he does keep his interviews moving along, so good for him.

 

E ARRIVALS

 

Sarah Hyland.  See what we mean? Photo by Karen Salkin.

Sarah Hyland. See what we mean? Photo by Karen Salkin.

Mr. X wanted to know why Sarah Hyland had horrible dark thick eyebrows, but I just wanted to know why she had on so little make-up and kielbasa sausage on her head!!! He said it looks like she’s doing Frida Kahlo! (He’s so much funnier than I am!!!)

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber seem like the nicest, most honest couple ever. Love them.

Lupita Nyong’o‘s red cape-dress was stunning, but probably just on her.

So many SNL alums!!!

It looked like Elisabeth Moss tried to avoid Will Forte on the red carpet, maybe he’s pals with her ex, another SNL alum Fred Armison, whom she supposedly hates now.

Jonah Hill told a really honest story of getting the part in Wolf…

How gorgeous is Margot Robbie???

The back of Cate Blanchett’s dress makes her butt look gigantic!

Leo’s beautiful, but could someone give him some lip balm, please.

The back of Emma Watson’s dress is crazy, and reveals that’s she’s really wearing pants underneath.

E keeps showing chicks getting out of their cars adjusting their boobs. So rude of them!

Sad juxtaposition, physically–Melissa McCarthy and Sophia Vergara.

I loved Matthews wife’s basic black sequined long-sleeved dress.

Could Taylor Swift be more phony when she exited the car and waved to the crowd with “raining” fingers, trying to get a reaction?

Julia Roberts was wearing a truly horrible outfit. It looked like a poor girl threw a strapless gown over her boyfriends’ shirt because her father made her be not so naked.

Taylor, speaking of One Chance, the film she wrote a song for, didn’t even mention Paul Potts, about whom it was.

Jennifer Lawrence’s dress is not attractive.

Sophia looked gorgeous as usual.

That’s it for the Golden Globes themselves. Later on in the week I’ll tell you about the fabulous the fabulous attendant suites and parties.

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4 Comments

  1. I never watch awards shows anymore, so I really look forward to your reviews. This one didn’t disappoint! I think you and I are the only people who’ve never seen “Breaking Bad.” Wow – Bruce Dern picked up Mr. X when he was hitchin’ a ride?!

  2. Just read this:
    During his acceptance speech for the best TV comedy series, Dan Goor, the co-creator of the show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, said that he was happy he opted not to become a doctor because winning this award was “way better than saving a human life.”

    Read more: http://newsbusters.org/#ixzz2qJBwvoy4

    Was he serious or was he joking? BTW, I’ve never even heard of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine.”

  3. Just searched the net for pictures. IMHO, Margot Robbie was the best-dressed. Runner-up was Lupita Nyong’o. She looked fabu in all red. Didn’t like Jennifer Lawrence’s tiered (sp?) gown. Just wasn’t becoming on her. Didn’t like Lena Dunham’s yellow dress. Wasn’t her color. But I loved her red lipstick – I’m getting really tired of the nude lip (which I think is something you have also said in the recent past).

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