THE BACHELOR—SEASON 28 –JOEY

First of all—don’t judge! The pandemic made me do it. Watch the Bachelor franchise, that is. And now, like others are with drugs or drink, I’m hooked.

Not because any of it is good, mind you, but rather because of the inanity of it all.

However, this season of The Bachelor is a bit different than all the previous ones because the lead is darling and absolutely charming. And beautiful. So that means only one thing–that it’s time for me to share my very many thoughts on the show this year, (which I rarely do, but my head is going to explode from holding them in!) Let’s discuss Joey first and then get to the mostly-goony gals.

JOEY

Joey Graziadei is the perfect guy for this! They’ve never had anyone so charismatic and kind-to-all on any version of The Bachelor before, on either side of the equation. He is soooo adorable I almost can’t stand it!

After they finally fixed his weirdo hair, (I hate using the term “glow-up,”) he’s actually gorgeous! Joey is, by far, the best-looking person of either sex they’ve had on that show! His green eyes are lovely, and his smile is adorbs. When he looks at one of the ladies with real affection, we audience members feel it. I know it’s a cliché, but he really does light up the room.

And, without being phony about it, he makes each woman feel special. He even has me confused about just which femme he’ll wind-up with! After being so in love with Charity Lawson last year at this time, (he was the runner-up on her season,) it’s hard to figure-out to whom he’s equally attracted now.

But heck, if he smiled at me with that beautiful face, I may just replace cute-and crazy Brayden, (Joey’s competition for my affection from last season,) with him.

GIRLS

First of all, without knowing for certainty if this is the true case, I’m pretty positive that the producers always make the Bachelor or Bachelorette give roses to contenders they’re really not interested in, as long as there’s a controversy to keep alive.

So that’s what’s been happening with raven-haired Maria and skanky blonde Sydney. (Their hair colors have nothing to do with my assessment of them—I just mention it to help identify them to the casual observer.)

I hate to say this about Sydney, since she’s from one of my three home states, Rhode Island, but she’s either a psychopath or a pathological liar or she realized that she would never be a contender in that giant group of good girls, so she figured lying and starting an in-her-mind-only beef with someone, (and tag—Maria was it!,) was the only way she could get camera time. And that way, the producers would make Joey keep her around for longer, until he couldn’t take it any more!

In case you’re curious, but haven’t been watching this season, (or any other, for that matter,) here’s the quick gist of this fake beef:

A thirty-one-year-old contestant, Madina, had commented to some of the other girls that she was feeling strange because she’s so much older than Joey, who’s twenty-eight, (so age is really not much of a consideration here, but you know people just want to make a fuss.) So then Maria, who’s thirty, told some of the other girls that Madina shouldn’t worry about it, because she herself, at thirty, is older than Joey, as well, and that it’s no big deal. Sydney overheard that actually sticking-up-for-Madina statement, but lied to Madina that Maria was talking crap about her! That couldn’t be further from the truth. (The women Maria said it to should have set the whole thing straight right off the bat. But, of course, the producers wouldn’t want that honesty on their devious show!)

And then after that, Sydney started lying to Joey about Maria, saying that she’s a bully and stuff like that.

So to capitalize on the situation, the producers made Joey take the two of them out on a “date” together. And when the girls were alone, Maria pointed-out to Sydney what I’ve been saying since I began watching the drama and lies on this series three and a half years ago! And that is—don’t you realize there are cameras all over? So stop lying!

One of my most intelligent and successful-in-show-business grown-up male pals has been watching this franchise for soooo many years longer than I have. So he’s an expert, truly. And he said something to me this week, which is exactly right. And that is that, year after year, none of these women and men contestants who have issues with each other, and play it up to the hilt, ever make it to the final three or four. He is so correct. So they really do need to stop making up these battles. But I’m going back to my basic premise that they just go at it for screen time.

But Maria is not to blame, at all. She’s actually innocent in all of this. She keeps asking everyone what she has done, with no answers from them. Because there are none.

And for those of you who may point-out that she did get extra time with Joey at the supposed “cocktail party” this week, after she had already had received a rose, (her second special one in two weeks, by the way,) which rightfully pissed-off a couple of the other girls, I’m sure that Maria did not do that herself! The others could have interrupted if they so chose, by going over, and saying that stupid, oft-parodied sentence, “May I steal him for a minute?”

But I really think that the girls don’t do any of that nonsense of their own volition; I’m pretty sure that the show’s producers choose who’s doing what in all those scenarios. If not, they should make sure that everyone gets time with the Bachelor before each “Rose Ceremony,” which never happens. They were down to just a dozen girls when the Maria extra-time incident happened this week, so each of them could have had five minutes with Joey, and the whole thing would’ve taken just an hour. The powers-that-be over there are just always looking to instigate dumb drama.

Here’s my last comment about Maria, (for now, anyway,): Mr. X and I did not like her in the first couple of weeks. We think she’s not attractive at all, and so we were shocked when Joey deemed her to be “gorgeous!” And then, last week, he donned eyeglasses and told one of the girls that he’s “blind as a bat,” so that could explain his skewed vision of her, (and some others, as well.) But now that people are lying about Maria, we’re on her side. I would still be shocked, and a tad nauseous, if Joey chooses her to be his fiancée, but I don’t think that will happen. They may make her the next Bachelorette, though, which would be interesting.

LOCATIONS

I think it’s so stupid for the show to fly everyone around the world to exotic locations because then they make the contestants just sit in the hotel all day so they can film them chatting with each other. They don’t get to sightsee at all! They need to let the people out so they can experience the new country, not just fly around the world for no reason.

But the reason I’m discussing locations this time is because on this week’s first show, (yes, they did double-dip, to my happiness,) the assemblage went to one of my favorite countries in the whole world –Malta! I lived there for half a year many moons ago, and just even hearing or reading the word brings back wonderful memories for me. So to actually see even a tiny bit of that island nation now was wonderful to me.

Of course, they barely let us, the audience, in on any of it, (it really could have been anywhere in the world,) but a glimpse is better than nothing for me.

And it’s given me the opportunity to tout it to all of you once again! I’m happy with any chance to remind people of Malta, which is a mostly-unknown place, (except to movie location scouts.)

PREDICTIONS

I wish he’d end-up with Daisy, (the girl with the cochlear implant,) because she seems to be the only one who makes him laugh. And laughing with someone is the most important thing in life! (Or I’m just biased—Mr. X is still the funniest person ever, so I’m incredibly lucky, knock on wood.) I hope that Joey realizes that he smiles and laughs the most with her.

But I think there may be three others he’s more or equally interested in—Lexi, Rachel, and Kelsey A. Jenn and Kelsey T. seem to be on his radar, as well.

But he’s so good at being an all-purpose appreciator that this is one season that I cannot get a full handle on his real love feelings.

He could really choose anyone. Judging by the fact that he was so in love with Charity last year, and she’s black, ethnicity is not a consideration for him. At this point, he seems to be the most into four white women, a couple of black ladies, and one Asian girl, and any of them could “win.” (As Mr. X points-out all the time, it is a game show, after all.)

But there just might be other issues for him, even though when the girls told him about each of their painful situations he was nice and made believe they weren’t a problem for him.

But I think they could possibly really be disqualifications because he’s still a really young guy, and if he can fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a troublesome situation, it would make his life easier. For example, Lexi might not be able to have kids; as I said before, Daisy has a cochlear implant after losing her hearing at just eighteen years of age, so that’s a possible heredity concern for future children; Maria’s mother has never been in her life much; Kelsey A.’s mother died of cancer when she was a teen; and as an ICU nurse, Rachel witnesses death on a regular basis, which is potentially a lot for a spouse to deal with. So there’s all of that to consider.

I wish Joey the best of luck with everything. And may the best woman (which means Daisy) win.

That’s it for now. I just felt a real need to share it all with you.

Note: If you know any spoiler alerts, please do not post them in the Comments below! Most (or at least many) of us, including yours truly, want to go on the journey with Joey.