MR. X AND MY ANNIVERSARY 2020
Even though he can sometimes be a pain in the butt, (as everyone can,) there’s no better person to be isolated with, (except maybe a doctor or masseur,) than Mr. X. I just feel bad for the rest of the world that they’ve been deprived of his humor for the past four months.
In our ten thousand years together, we have never spent this much time together in a row! Well, except for the first couple of years. That’s when I wouldn’t leave him alone for a second because the minute I left his apartment, some other chick would be
stalking calling him. One even moved across the street from him to spy on us! I’m not even joking. (I wish I was.) I can’t tell you how many girls left messages on his machine in those early days. And they all began with, “Hi, it’s me.” Did they each think she was the only “me” he knew???
But all that togetherness was fun back then. I didn’t even want to go anyplace without him. Since he has always been a homebody, if I wanted to hang with him, I had to stay in his little apartment, too. (But he did get me my own phone line there; it was soooo much fun to hear it ring! And the phone itself was a red stiletto! OMG. How does he find these creative gifts for me?! He still does it.)
For those first few years, Mr. X is the one who was invited to all the fun fetes. We had the same talent manager back then, and he helped me try to convince Mr. X to go to the events, mainly because I was desperate to go to Hollywood parties. But as soon as I started doing my TV show, I was the one getting invited every place, and Mr. X encouraged me to take one of my many pals, and enjoy ourselves. But soon, that became an almost every-night occurrence! To this day. I honestly think there are still some people out there who don’t believe that he’s my boyfriend.
[Sidebar: I may have to find another term for Mr. X because we just saw the old movie Young Frankenstein again, and it’s hilarious when the old woman who runs the castle says of Dr. Frankenstein, “He was my boyfriend!” People rarely think of anyone over thirty-five being “boyfriend and girlfriend,” especially when they’re been together forever! Can any of you come up with something better? “Husband equivalent,” which I used to use, and “life partner” sound so same-sex, don’t they? Help me out in the Comments below, if you come up with anything, please.]
We’ve lived together for a long time now, so we’ve always seen each other every second that I’m not out and about. (Or that he’s not at a hardware or do-it-yourself store!) But these past four months are just like old times—we haven’t been apart for even one second of any day! The few times we’ve needed to go to a store, we’ve even done that together.
And we’ve been laughing our guts out the entire time. I’m beginning to think that the masses are correct—we should have been filming it all to use as our very own reality show. (But there’s no way I want to put on make-up every day. Or, more accurately, any day!) So, until I break down and have a Mr. X and Me podcast, you’ll just have to imagine it.
Okay, I just want to laud him for something new right now, and then we have to go celebrate somehow today. I always think he’s not paying attention, and then he goes and knows something so obscure about me, and my heart melts all over again.
So here it is: We just got one of those TV programs, that allows you to watch every single TV show ever made. (Or at least I hope all that hype is true.) So out of all the shows and movies that we’ve both appeared in, along with every one that I’m a major fan of, (don’t ask,) I asked him which item I wanted to watch first on the new device. (I’m a total baby about making every “first” the most important thing in the world to me.) And…without skipping a beat, he knew exactly which broadcast it was!!! (If you want to venture a guess in the Comments below, I may let you in on the correct answer.)
Grateful that all those years ago, I got my man. As he says, he always feels like something out of Wild Kingdom when I admire myself for “getting” him. But I’m sure he’s having as much fun as I am. Well, as much fun as a captive can have!
So, Happy Anniversary to Mr. X and me! I think we can add at least a year on to our relationship for all these months of non-stop togetherness. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Love ya, doll.