MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

Even though this is the very tail end of May, I wanted to get this very important topic in. It’s never too late to discuss mental health!

My jokey reason for writing this article is that my mental health is suffering from watching some of my teams not advance in the current NBA play-offs, of which I’ve watched every second since they began on April 15! No kidding—I’ve barely left the house since then! But I’m not complaining because I’m very willingly doing it to myself.

The play-offs are actually where I first heard that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which is worth discussing here. So I thank them for this info, especially so that I can get this article in before the last day of the month, which is tomorrow!

But actually, even though having a designated time frame to think about it, every month, week, and day is the right time for us all to take care of our mental health. This is the month to remind us, and because of that designation, more entities than ever talk about it publicly. But it’s a topic of whihc we should always be made aware.

Even before I realized the significance of this month, I had been thinking about the concept of depression very recently. It’s something I know a thing or two about. I had been in several deep depressions that started during the pandemic lockdown. I actually didn’t mind being stuck in the house for a year or two because Mr. X is the funniest person in the world, and I love having an excuse to be a couch potato. People thought that a bon vivette such as myself would be going nuts, but I was fine because I wasn’t missing anything—there were no events to go to!

So the depression took me totally by surprise. In life, in general, I had, of course, experienced what we all think of as “depression,” but I had no concept of the very painful deeper feeling which is what I guess is actually “clinical depression.” What made it worse was that during that entire time, I was still grateful for my life, and knew that I had no real reason to be depressed. So that depressed me even further. It was all a vicious circle.

I’m feeling better these days, without knowing why. I’m just thankful that the depression has lifted as much as it has.

Of course, medical professionals know what to tell you sooo much better than I do, but I do have some general thoughts on the whole mental wellness topic, apropos of this Mental Health Awareness month.

First of all, stop comparing your life to those of others! Especially of strangers, but even those of your pals! If you can’t help but compare your life to other people’s mainly-fake ones, please just stay off social media! That stuff causes jealousy that can make one crazy. People post their best, or most boosted-up, moments just for that purpose. None of us have any idea of what their real lives are like. Please, please, please remember that!

If you need confirmation of what I’m saying about it, the tragic proof is that many “influencers,” along with just people who just frequently share their posts, commit suicide, which is never the answer for anybody to begin with. But it proves just how phony their “happiness” is.

Actually, I just don’t understand suicide, no matter how bad you perceive your problems to be. If ever you’re considering this tragic act that cannot be taken back, please speak to someone first. And realize that every single person goes through it at some point. In my first college, I once stopped someone from committing suicide. And I did it on the phone. I stayed on with him overnight until the morning. And he was so grateful that he even gave me a gift, which was miraculous for a teen-ager to do. It was a beautiful star-shaped blue-and-purple candle, and guess what? I still have it today!!! It stayed on my bedroom dresser until I cleared-out my mother’s house eleven years ago, and I made sure to pack it up to move out here. It means that much to me because it symbolizes taking the time to help people in need.

I also must advise my younger readers, who might be experiencing problems with bullying and the like, I promise that you will grow out of what you’re going through at a young age! I knew girls who were not very popular in high school, and then got a new start in college, and made the most of it. Or they didn’t experience the good times they wanted in college, (such as that they didn’t get accepted into a sorority or get the boyfriend they were after,) but then they became the most successful people of all time! You just never know. You just have to always roll with the punches, and plan for things to get better, which they usually do.

One real-life example of that nothing is over in life until the end has been on mind recently because of the play-offs. It’s this: When I was running dance clubs in the mid-90s, I became friends with most of the UCLA Championship basketball team. Besides coming out with me to clubs and parties, several of the guys took me to lunch, called me all the time, and even made sure to give me their “family and friends” tickets to every home game! Fast forward to 2012, and none of my popular, “Big Men On Campus” friends from that team has achieved much in life. But…Bob Myers, one of the few guys on that team who not only didn’t come out with us, (which means he was far from the hippest, most popular guy on the roster,) but whom I don’t even remember(!,) became…the General Manager of…the Golden State Warriors!!! You just never know what will happen as life goes along.

And to continue in my sports theme, there’s this jaw-dropping story, which I just learned about last week. ESPN basketball shows host, Malika Andrews. seems like the most mentally stable person in the world. She’s beautiful, enunciates better than even I do, and succeeds in a man’s world without flirting or wearing tramp dresses, (as several of the other female sports hosts and interviewers do.) I’d be jealous of her except for the fact that I admire her so much. And have for a few years now. So I was shocked to discover, (just the other day, as a matter of fact,) that she’s suffered with mental illness since she was a teen! It just goes to show that you can’t judge anyone’s life. (It’s an incredible story, which is too long to tell in this article, but here’s the link to another that explains it all: people.com/espn-malika-andrews-shares-secret-teen-mental-health-trauma-exclusive-8661472.)

On an amusing addendum to that serious story, this one happened to me. When I was doing my TV show, Karen’s Restaurant Revue, I was coming out of a supermarket early one Christmas Eve. I was used to people coming up to me and telling me they love my show, so when a woman approached me in the parking lot that evening, I assumed she was going to do the same, and perhaps wish me a happy holiday. She asked, “You’re that girl on TV, aren’t you?,” which is how most people described me back then. So I told her yes, and was just about to thank her for saying hi. And then she unpleasantly continued, “I just want to know what in your life has given you the permission to think so much of yourself!” I was really taken aback from that rude and unusual query, and came back with, “Can’t you tell from my show that I’m a mess? I’m like an open wound. I’m totally insecure!” So she said, “Oh you are? That’s okay then,” and walked away. Yeah, Merry Christmas to me, I guess. But the point is that it made her life better to know that my life wasn’t as perfect as she assumed it was from television. I was actually happy to help!

The point is to always be a good person, especially to yourself, and try your best to both appreciate and work on your lot in life, no matter what it is. Just remember that everything changes, both ways. As the saying goes, nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles.

But always talk to someone. I believe that there are free services in every city in America, and I feel that other countries have the same. No one wants others to have mental issues.

At the very least, you can lean on a wise and caring friend or family member. Make sure that they know it’s a serious situation so that they don’t just play it off.

Interestingly, on a movie channel this month, I heard director David O. Russell talking about that some of his movies, such as Mr. X’s favorite, Silver Linings Playbook, deal with mental illness, as do some classics; one that he pointed-out is A Streetcar Named Desire, which I had never thought of. (Neither about that film at all nor that it deals with mental illness!)

I’m going to tell you of an over-the-counter supplement that used to help me a lot before I had to stop taking it due to its contraindications with my stroke meds. (Always, always check with your doctor, pharmacy, or at the very least, the internet before you take any supplements.) It’s called St. John’s Wort, and I was never depressed when I was taking it. But again, I caution you to check with your own medical professionals to see if it’s right for you.

But the easiest thing for you to do, either every day or even just when you’re getting a tad nutty and need to calm down a bit, is to breathe in positivity. I learned of it from a gold medal-winning Olympian, who talked about it on TV last summer. And I’ve been doing it ever since then. I try to do it for about a minute every day. I often forget, but the second I start having painful memories or getting stressed about something else, I do the short, easy practice, and in just thirty seconds, I feel better. So what you do is take a deep breath in through your nose as you concentrate on positivity. I just silently say the word “positivity,” nothing else special. And then as you breathe-out, through either your nose or mouth, just concentrate on the negativity going out. These are deep breaths, but quick enough. After I do just three of them I feel better. And, yes, the girl won the gold medal just two days after telling us that that’s what she does to calm herself down before competing! So it’s a win for all of us!

And I hope that’s exactly what this Mental Health Awareness Month has been for all of you—a win. Now let’s continue to help each other not only for the rest of this month, but always!